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Aug 2018
"heavy breathing/hot breath.
hands touching/warm skin.
why did i do this."

i had to stand on the tips of my toes
just so i could reach your lips.
arms encircled me, keeping me safe.
this can't be real.

"we looked into each other's eyes
and her breath still lingers on my skin.
i shiver.
she clung to me tightly, as if she was scared."

i have ruined the best thing that has happened to me.

"she had to tell everyone of this.
this was meant for us only.
why share this moment with the world.
why did i let her do this.
she's already happy, playing me like a game of cards.
one mistake turned into regret."

i'm so sorry.
this secret was something i couldn't bear.
carrying the weight like atlas.
your body was my map that my finger traced,
leading me to a secret location.
i have revealed its existence.

"those eyes that i thought were innocent
have become guilty (i was betrayed).
how could i live with this."

i wanted you.

"she wanted to use me."

i'm sorry.

"she'll say sorry as much as she wants; she'll pay."

'one mistake turned into regret.'

"keep apologizing, that isn't the price i want."

i'd do anything.

"she wouldn't do anything.
she's got other guys.
****.
find someone you actually love."

but you're the one i want.

"i might as well end it here/there's no reason to live."

there are plenty of reasons.

"i don't see her as a reason."

i can still feel your breath on me.
as i cry at the little reminders of you.
when it's night, i wish you were next to me.
but who would want to be with me.
i'm a spoiled, selfish, lying girl.

"i want out."

no, i want out.

"she has ruined me."

just give me a second chance.

"this was supposed to be our moment, not the world's.
what happened wasn't us."

but what if it's us.
what if it's us and only us.

"i know i hurt her, but she also hurt me.
i can't pretend this didn't happen.
pretending would let her off the hook.
she needs to know."

then let's make a promise to us.
let's start over
and not pretend.
Samantha Nguyen
Written by
Samantha Nguyen  14/F/trapped
(14/F/trapped)   
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