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nobody loses all the time

i had an uncle named
Sol who was a born failure and
nearly everybody said he should have gone
into vaudeville perhaps because my Uncle Sol could
sing McCann He Was A Diver on Xmas Eve like Hell Itself which
may or may not account for the fact that my Uncle

Sol indulged in that possibly most inexcusable
of all to use a highfalootin phrase
luxuries that is or to
wit farming and be
it needlessly
added

my Uncle Sol’s farm
failed because the chickens
ate the vegetables so
my Uncle Sol had a
chicken farm till the
skunks ate the chickens when

my Uncle Sol
had a skunk farm but
the skunks caught cold and
died and so
my Uncle Sol imitated the
skunks in a subtle manner

or by drowning himself in the watertank
but somebody who’d given my Uncle Sol a Victor
Victrola and records while he lived presented to
him upon the auspicious occasion of his decease a
scruptious not to mention splendiferous funeral with
tall boys in black gloves and flowers and everything and
i remember we all cried like the Missouri
when my Uncle Sol’s coffin lurched because
somebody pressed a button
(and down went
my Uncle
Sol

and started a worm farm)
On Hellespont, guilty of true love’s blood,
In view and opposite two cities stood,
Sea-borderers, disjoin’d by Neptune’s might;
The one Abydos, the other Sestos hight.
At Sestos Hero dwelt; Hero the fair,
Whom young Apollo courted for her hair,
And offer’d as a dower his burning throne,
Where she could sit for men to gaze upon.
The outside of her garments were of lawn,
The lining purple silk, with gilt stars drawn;
Her wide sleeves green, and border’d with a grove,
Where Venus in her naked glory strove
To please the careless and disdainful eyes
Of proud Adonis, that before her lies;
Her kirtle blue, whereon was many a stain,
Made with the blood of wretched lovers slain.
Upon her head she ware a myrtle wreath,
From whence her veil reach’d to the ground beneath;
Her veil was artificial flowers and leaves,
Whose workmanship both man and beast deceives;
Many would praise the sweet smell as she past,
When ’twas the odour which her breath forth cast;
And there for honey bees have sought in vain,
And beat from thence, have lighted there again.
About her neck hung chains of pebble-stone,
Which lighten’d by her neck, like diamonds shone.
She ware no gloves; for neither sun nor wind
Would burn or parch her hands, but, to her mind,
Or warm or cool them, for they took delight
To play upon those hands, they were so white.
Buskins of shells, all silver’d, used she,
And branch’d with blushing coral to the knee;
Where sparrows perch’d, of hollow pearl and gold,
Such as the world would wonder to behold:
Those with sweet water oft her handmaid fills,
Which as she went, would chirrup through the bills.
Some say, for her the fairest Cupid pin’d,
And looking in her face, was strooken blind.
But this is true; so like was one the other,
As he imagin’d Hero was his mother;
And oftentimes into her ***** flew,
About her naked neck his bare arms threw,
And laid his childish head upon her breast,
And with still panting rock’d there took his rest.
So lovely-fair was Hero, Venus’ nun,
As Nature wept, thinking she was undone,
Because she took more from her than she left,
And of such wondrous beauty her bereft:
Therefore, in sign her treasure suffer’d wrack,
Since Hero’s time hath half the world been black.

Amorous Leander, beautiful and young
(Whose tragedy divine MusÆus sung),
Dwelt at Abydos; since him dwelt there none
For whom succeeding times make greater moan.
His dangling tresses, that were never shorn,
Had they been cut, and unto Colchos borne,
Would have allur’d the vent’rous youth of Greece
To hazard more than for the golden fleece.
Fair Cynthia wish’d his arms might be her sphere;
Grief makes her pale, because she moves not there.
His body was as straight as Circe’s wand;
Jove might have sipt out nectar from his hand.
Even as delicious meat is to the taste,
So was his neck in touching, and surpast
The white of Pelops’ shoulder: I could tell ye,
How smooth his breast was, and how white his belly;
And whose immortal fingers did imprint
That heavenly path with many a curious dint
That runs along his back; but my rude pen
Can hardly blazon forth the loves of men,
Much less of powerful gods: let it suffice
That my slack Muse sings of Leander’s eyes;
Those orient cheeks and lips, exceeding his
That leapt into the water for a kiss
Of his own shadow, and, despising many,
Died ere he could enjoy the love of any.
Had wild Hippolytus Leander seen,
Enamour’d of his beauty had he been.
His presence made the rudest peasant melt,
That in the vast uplandish country dwelt;
The barbarous Thracian soldier, mov’d with nought,
Was mov’d with him, and for his favour sought.
Some swore he was a maid in man’s attire,
For in his looks were all that men desire,—
A pleasant smiling cheek, a speaking eye,
A brow for love to banquet royally;
And such as knew he was a man, would say,
“Leander, thou art made for amorous play;
Why art thou not in love, and lov’d of all?
Though thou be fair, yet be not thine own thrall.”

The men of wealthy Sestos every year,
For his sake whom their goddess held so dear,
Rose-cheek’d Adonis, kept a solemn feast.
Thither resorted many a wandering guest
To meet their loves; such as had none at all
Came lovers home from this great festival;
For every street, like to a firmament,
Glister’d with breathing stars, who, where they went,
Frighted the melancholy earth, which deem’d
Eternal heaven to burn, for so it seem’d
As if another Pha{”e}ton had got
The guidance of the sun’s rich chariot.
But far above the loveliest, Hero shin’d,
And stole away th’ enchanted gazer’s mind;
For like sea-nymphs’ inveigling harmony,
So was her beauty to the standers-by;
Nor that night-wandering, pale, and watery star
(When yawning dragons draw her thirling car
From Latmus’ mount up to the gloomy sky,
Where, crown’d with blazing light and majesty,
She proudly sits) more over-rules the flood
Than she the hearts of those that near her stood.
Even as when gaudy nymphs pursue the chase,
Wretched Ixion’s shaggy-footed race,
Incens’d with savage heat, gallop amain
From steep pine-bearing mountains to the plain,
So ran the people forth to gaze upon her,
And all that view’d her were enamour’d on her.
And as in fury of a dreadful fight,
Their fellows being slain or put to flight,
Poor soldiers stand with fear of death dead-strooken,
So at her presence all surpris’d and tooken,
Await the sentence of her scornful eyes;
He whom she favours lives; the other dies.
There might you see one sigh, another rage,
And some, their violent passions to assuage,
Compile sharp satires; but, alas, too late,
For faithful love will never turn to hate.
And many, seeing great princes were denied,
Pin’d as they went, and thinking on her, died.
On this feast-day—O cursed day and hour!—
Went Hero thorough Sestos, from her tower
To Venus’ temple, where unhappily,
As after chanc’d, they did each other spy.

So fair a church as this had Venus none:
The walls were of discolour’d jasper-stone,
Wherein was Proteus carved; and over-head
A lively vine of green sea-agate spread,
Where by one hand light-headed Bacchus hung,
And with the other wine from grapes out-wrung.
Of crystal shining fair the pavement was;
The town of Sestos call’d it Venus’ glass:
There might you see the gods in sundry shapes,
Committing heady riots, ******, rapes:
For know, that underneath this radiant flower
Was Danae’s statue in a brazen tower,
Jove slyly stealing from his sister’s bed,
To dally with Idalian Ganimed,
And for his love Europa bellowing loud,
And tumbling with the rainbow in a cloud;
Blood-quaffing Mars heaving the iron net,
Which limping Vulcan and his Cyclops set;
Love kindling fire, to burn such towns as Troy,
Sylvanus weeping for the lovely boy
That now is turn’d into a cypress tree,
Under whose shade the wood-gods love to be.
And in the midst a silver altar stood:
There Hero, sacrificing turtles’ blood,
Vail’d to the ground, veiling her eyelids close;
And modestly they opened as she rose.
Thence flew Love’s arrow with the golden head;
And thus Leander was enamoured.
Stone-still he stood, and evermore he gazed,
Till with the fire that from his count’nance blazed
Relenting Hero’s gentle heart was strook:
Such force and virtue hath an amorous look.

It lies not in our power to love or hate,
For will in us is over-rul’d by fate.
When two are stript, long ere the course begin,
We wish that one should lose, the other win;
And one especially do we affect
Of two gold ingots, like in each respect:
The reason no man knows, let it suffice,
What we behold is censur’d by our eyes.
Where both deliberate, the love is slight:
Who ever lov’d, that lov’d not at first sight?

He kneeled, but unto her devoutly prayed.
Chaste Hero to herself thus softly said,
“Were I the saint he worships, I would hear him;”
And, as she spake those words, came somewhat near him.
He started up, she blushed as one ashamed,
Wherewith Leander much more was inflamed.
He touched her hand; in touching it she trembled.
Love deeply grounded, hardly is dissembled.
These lovers parleyed by the touch of hands;
True love is mute, and oft amazed stands.
Thus while dumb signs their yielding hearts entangled,
The air with sparks of living fire was spangled,
And night, deep drenched in misty Acheron,
Heaved up her head, and half the world upon
Breathed darkness forth (dark night is Cupid’s day).
And now begins Leander to display
Love’s holy fire, with words, with sighs, and tears,
Which like sweet music entered Hero’s ears,
And yet at every word she turned aside,
And always cut him off as he replied.
At last, like to a bold sharp sophister,
With cheerful hope thus he accosted her.

“Fair creature, let me speak without offence.
I would my rude words had the influence
To lead thy thoughts as thy fair looks do mine,
Then shouldst thou be his prisoner, who is thine.
Be not unkind and fair; misshapen stuff
Are of behaviour boisterous and rough.
O shun me not, but hear me ere you go.
God knows I cannot force love as you do.
My words shall be as spotless as my youth,
Full of simplicity and naked truth.
This sacrifice, (whose sweet perfume descending
From Venus’ altar, to your footsteps bending)
Doth testify that you exceed her far,
To whom you offer, and whose nun you are.
Why should you worship her? Her you surpass
As much as sparkling diamonds flaring glass.
A diamond set in lead his worth retains;
A heavenly nymph, beloved of human swains,
Receives no blemish, but ofttimes more grace;
Which makes me hope, although I am but base:
Base in respect of thee, divine and pure,
Dutiful service may thy love procure.
And I in duty will excel all other,
As thou in beauty dost exceed Love’s mother.
Nor heaven, nor thou, were made to gaze upon,
As heaven preserves all things, so save thou one.
A stately builded ship, well rigged and tall,
The ocean maketh more majestical.
Why vowest thou then to live in Sestos here
Who on Love’s seas more glorious wouldst appear?
Like untuned golden strings all women are,
Which long time lie untouched, will harshly jar.
Vessels of brass, oft handled, brightly shine.
What difference betwixt the richest mine
And basest mould, but use? For both, not used,
Are of like worth. Then treasure is abused
When misers keep it; being put to loan,
In time it will return us two for one.
Rich robes themselves and others do adorn;
Neither themselves nor others, if not worn.
Who builds a palace and rams up the gate
Shall see it ruinous and desolate.
Ah, simple Hero, learn thyself to cherish.
Lone women like to empty houses perish.
Less sins the poor rich man that starves himself
In heaping up a mass of drossy pelf,
Than such as you. His golden earth remains
Which, after his decease, some other gains.
But this fair gem, sweet in the loss alone,
When you fleet hence, can be bequeathed to none.
Or, if it could, down from th’enameled sky
All heaven would come to claim this legacy,
And with intestine broils the world destroy,
And quite confound nature’s sweet harmony.
Well therefore by the gods decreed it is
We human creatures should enjoy that bliss.
One is no number; maids are nothing then
Without the sweet society of men.
Wilt thou live single still? One shalt thou be,
Though never singling ***** couple thee.
Wild savages, that drink of running springs,
Think water far excels all earthly things,
But they that daily taste neat wine despise it.
Virginity, albeit some highly prize it,
Compared with marriage, had you tried them both,
Differs as much as wine and water doth.
Base bullion for the stamp’s sake we allow;
Even so for men’s impression do we you,
By which alone, our reverend fathers say,
Women receive perfection every way.
This idol which you term virginity
Is neither essence subject to the eye
No, nor to any one exterior sense,
Nor hath it any place of residence,
Nor is’t of earth or mould celestial,
Or capable of any form at all.
Of that which hath no being do not boast;
Things that are not at all are never lost.
Men foolishly do call it virtuous;
What virtue is it that is born with us?
Much less can honour be ascribed thereto;
Honour is purchased by the deeds we do.
Believe me, Hero, honour is not won
Until some honourable deed be done.
Seek you for chastity, immortal fame,
And know that some have wronged Diana’s name?
Whose name is it, if she be false or not
So she be fair, but some vile tongues will blot?
But you are fair, (ay me) so wondrous fair,
So young, so gentle, and so debonair,
As Greece will think if thus you live alone
Some one or other keeps you as his own.
Then, Hero, hate me not nor from me fly
To follow swiftly blasting infamy.
Perhaps thy sacred priesthood makes thee loath.
Tell me, to whom mad’st thou that heedless oath?”

“To Venus,” answered she and, as she spake,
Forth from those two tralucent cisterns brake
A stream of liquid pearl, which down her face
Made milk-white paths, whereon the gods might trace
To Jove’s high court.
He thus replied: “The rites
In which love’s beauteous empress most delights
Are banquets, Doric music, midnight revel,
Plays, masks, and all that stern age counteth evil.
Thee as a holy idiot doth she scorn
For thou in vowing chastity hast sworn
To rob her name and honour, and thereby
Committ’st a sin far worse than perjury,
Even sacrilege against her deity,
Through regular and formal purity.
To expiate which sin, kiss and shake hands.
Such sacrifice as this Venus demands.”

Thereat she smiled and did deny him so,
As put thereby, yet might he hope for moe.
Which makes him quickly re-enforce his speech,
And her in humble manner thus beseech.
“Though neither gods nor men may thee deserve,
Yet for her sake, whom you have vowed to serve,
Abandon fruitless cold virginity,
The gentle queen of love’s sole enemy.
Then shall you most resemble Venus’ nun,
When Venus’ sweet rites are performed and done.
Flint-breasted Pallas joys in single life,
But Pallas and your mistress are at strife.
Love, Hero, then, and be not tyrannous,
But heal the heart that thou hast wounded thus,
Nor stain thy youthful years with avarice.
Fair fools delight to be accounted nice.
The richest corn dies, if it be not reaped;
Beauty alone is lost, too warily kept.”

These arguments he used, and many more,
Wherewith she yielded, that was won before.
Hero’s looks yielded but her words made war.
Women are won when they begin to jar.
Thus, having swallowed Cupid’s golden hook,
The more she strived, the deeper was she strook.
Yet, evilly feigning anger, strove she still
And would be thought to grant against her will.
So having paused a while at last she said,
“Who taught thee rhetoric to deceive a maid?
Ay me, such words as these should I abhor
And yet I like them for the orator.”

With that Leander stooped to have embraced her
But from his spreading arms away she cast her,
And thus bespake him: “Gentle youth, forbear
To touch the sacred garments which I wear.
Upon a rock and underneath a hill
Far from the town (where all is whist and still,
Save that the sea, playing on yellow sand,
Sends forth a rattling murmur to the land,
Whose sound allures the golden Morpheus
In silence of the night to visit us)
My turret stands and there, God knows, I play.
With Venus’ swans and sparrows all the day.
A dwarfish beldam bears me company,
That hops about the chamber where I lie,
And spends the night (that might be better spent)
In vain discourse and apish merriment.
Come thither.” As she spake this, her tongue tripped,
For unawares “come thither” from her slipped.
And suddenly her former colour changed,
And here and there her eyes through anger ranged.
And like a planet, moving several ways,
At one self instant she, poor soul, assays,
Loving, not to love at all, and every part
Strove to resist the motions of her heart.
And hands so pure, so innocent, nay, such
As might have made heaven stoop to have a touch,
Did she uphold to Venus, and again
Vowed spotless chastity, but all in vain.
Cupid beats down her prayers with his wings,
Her vows above the empty air he flings,
All deep enraged, his sinewy bow he bent,
And shot a shaft that burning from him went,
Wherewith she strooken, looked so dolefully,
As made love sigh to see his tyranny.
And as she wept her tears to pearl he turned,
And wound them on his arm and for her mourned.
Then towards the palace of the destinies
Laden with languishment and grief he flies,
And to those stern nymphs humbly made request
Both might enjoy each other, and be blest.
But with a ghastly dreadful
Nieve Apr 2015
The Butterfly is blessed with beauty and grace.
The Spider is eerie and withdrawn.
She flutters around to find Her perfect place.
He captures the heart of His next pawn.
Their souls never finding peace.
One day, He sets His elaborate trap.
Frightened and out of the whim,
She is caught in His web and a sudden hap!
The unfamiliar face captivates Him.
His world comes to a cease.
They look into each other's eyes,
Both hearts beating as one.
He sets Her free and sends Her to the skies.
She is left to be stun.
Her own feelings begin to increase.
These two creatures are different.
Their love was forbidden and never to become.
Despite the belligerent,
The devotion begins to succumb,
And the sorrowful souls were release.
"Please merciful goddess of the moon,"
The begged and resort,
Fearful that their passion would end so soon.
"Do not **** our love in sport."
Wishing the hatred would decease
The answer was to be entombed.
Their love was certainly a hider,
And from the start it was doomed.
It was a love between the Butterfly and the Spider.
Budding Rose
building pressure,
pursed and ready,
meeting the threshold
with preparatory
anticipation;
quivering.

Blooming Rose
opening with elegance,
breaking from tight enclosure.
a fragrant, companionate aroma,
inviting, an unfoldment,
spreads of flourish;
exquisite grace.

Dying Rose
with humbleness
in bowing stem.
letting go,
petal by petal.
richer reds,
darkening,
decease.

Cyclic Rose
coming, breaking
open and shedding;
a transitory
ephemeral beauty.
teaching the natural
art of being;

in bud
b  l  o  o  m
& death.
Ken Pepiton Mar 2018
Sense touch feel know Sense touch feel know Sense touch feel know Sense touch feel know Sense touch feel know Sense touch feel know Sense touch feel know Sense touch feel  

Lying spirits. Those are real you know. You know? Don't you?

Mad is ill defined, dis-ease, decease, desistere, eh? You Roman?
You serve a mad man you know.
And the Roman said,'I serve the empire, a' and he stopped…

Might right be virtuous and power called might
be not-right,
like hands, chirality? Right and not.

Shame, we should not know that.

Perhaps the vector was the chirality connection.
Hers was upgraded.
So when the shame bomb hit, it was him,
not her, who blew it?
He did that?
Yeh, I see how now,
It's the hypo-thalish, estrogen receptor steward system.
Who named that ****** thing?

No, left-right brain variablity was designed
to counter the estrogen-tester if it went mal.
This is the Left HIS Branch, a resistor,
it changed the way breath gets to that "It is,
good" receptor complex just inside
the ventricles
where the first sparks releaze
the ozone reaction.
The reaction to that lost loving feeling,
That was the shame bomb.
The action taken to a switch burned out
in a rush of knowledge of good and evil beyond
the heart's experience with expansion.
The opposite seems to have happened in the wombedman,
he comprehends hope is a new treasure.
Hope. Who coulda seen that coming?

A witness.
Some mind saw that happen and it was never washed into the sea of forgetfulness, so

Wow.

Like in the mountains, that ozone,
first breath feeling, that's great!
No, like that first free hit. That's it. You will pay…

Like, this first reaction is not "That's wonder-filled",
but it's
"that was not deep enough,
not good enough,
too shallow,
faked it".

On every breath the man takes,
a voice in his head is saying,
"not good enough, keep
trying/dying/breathe/harder.
Sweat it all.
Shame on you."
Shame.
That was the trick.
Make him think he is not related to God,
on any level?
Make him think he does not have a knower
in good working order,
save for that tiny electrical glitch in the
official HIS bundle builder gene. That's nothing,
Who told him she was naked?
That's evil.
What he knew was good, what he believed was evil.

How did it work out?

Okeh. It took several millennia longer
than first estimates.
Starts out kinda dun'dat, don't it?
Things get brighter near the end.
According to the legend I learned.

Knowing liars lie does not make every man a liar, I think,
Only the ones who say they do not
lie have no truth in them,
if they can truly believe that.

It's a chapter, a colloquy of consciousness grounding out.

The story is told,
this is the way men were built, original specs,
able to do anything they agreed to do.
But their hearts had been corrupted because
the whole heart building system in Adam
was dis - turbed, mixed up with that sweet deceit.
If it weren't for mitichondria the sifting needed,
could have taken forever.

By Noah's first beard, the gene pool was so turbid, no one could see the bottom.

Living water flowing from men's bellies,
ta, lemme say,
that be some evolvin' involvin' some
a priori
somethin' or anotha.
Ax that wombedman at the well, what the hell?

There, here, is a whole story about ****** and the seeds of all the myths that point so straight
to Jesus as they red-shift into historical
mysteriums twisted and warped by time and chance tyrannies.
Holiness hierarchical hegemony funds
that sprang from Eve's first hope,
have no hope at all for
cowards and fools and fraidy cats.

Heroes, those compound interest, all things are possible,
except
God can't lie, or die, or fail.

Is living heroic, no. We choose to live.
Life favors life.
That's easy.
All things are possible with life,
as a whole.
Very complex plots and schemes and schemas and media
and magi-level tech
this is working, you know.
We agree. Who could make us enemies?

Still, any plan men made was clear in the minds of all the planners
and the builders and the men they used as tools to
multiply the strength of the ideas that possessed them.
They built cities that way.
By agreeing together to do it. Gobekli Tepi?
You know, what was that ? A
thousand years of CCC park bench building and trail
marking benignly buried with never a mark of destruction?
They, the men planners and builders and laborers, right after the Ice pulled back from the Caucusus
or the Levant lifted up, 12,000 years ago, or so,
somebody builds this place called Gobekli Tepi
about a morning walk, a Sabbath Day's Journey, from
Terah's Local god shoppe in Urfa
the Turks are said to say..

----
Original specs, reset, it's all software.
We can cipher this out,
if we keep our heads
while others about us are losing theirs.

Men with the new softer hearts can do that, they can,
when they put their heads together,
they can make anything happen.
Knowledge is increasing, as we know it.

Nothin''s done in darkness that shan't be made known.

That's no threat.
Never was.
It's a promise. Like, the meek inherit the earth.
This is raw. I am hoping for feed back that tells me if the voice and time and pov swirl I am attempting harmonizes with the idea of a golden meaning in life that spins out from the source of life it self. It is a sc-fi-fantasy poetic philo-loving essay, esse. How can it be better?
Lucky Queue Oct 2012
Some people like fall, but not me.
It's full of death and decay, the gorgeous pieces of fire drift
from their skeletal homes and burn out into
sodden mushy brown paper.
Hard smooth and brown pebbles, spiky holey bombs, and twirly helicopter blades fall from the same skeletons and hide
beneath the paper, waiting for an innocent victim,
lying in the perfect position to slip someone up so that
they lose their bags and packages as they themselves go
slip slide crashing into the ground.
The victims are sure to rise up again, but with some bruises and bits of soggy brown, stuck all over their clothes
In fall, all the blooms of color decease, all fruit and vegetable and good green things die and leaves the world sodden mushy and brown.

Some people say they like winter, but not me.
It's a cold cruel and heartless season, robbing any last trace of life
from all helpless and left-behind creatures.
The vegetation becomes glazed over with melting glass and is the
one spot of beauty, as the only green left resides on prickly evergreens, housebound plants, and the occasional tacky
coat.
In winter, there is no way to leave your personal fortress without mountains of clothes, and so every person becomes a
chapped lipped, red cheeked, stiff fingered puffball.
Every time you jump into a mound of the white fluff that accompanies the dread season, some is bound to creep into your shirt and boots, freezing whatever it touches, and then ever so so slowly flowing along your skin, one of Gaia's little tortures.
Only half finished, so I'll write more later, perhaps in a different poem, perhaps not.
Sukanya Basu Oct 2013
Humorless soul burning plunder
Of fraternity and success
By unnamed ,unseen blood and flesh
Escaping through unimaginable pits of hell
Not leaving a folklore,a  story to tell.
A new decease spreading through mankind
From a single human body
Frightening name, shrieking mankind
Whenever this disease comes in contact with them.
Appropriately a plague
Running in tempt
Spreading to face
Something like vendetta ,something unsafe.
Entering into new age
Through the plague of dissatisfaction
Morose ,cruel,not leaving a fly  unhurt
Being risen as group of beasts...
Dissatisfaction,a word which shouldn't exist
Flows now through the blood stream of every body
Leaving poison to spread
From toe to head
Keeping love in custody.
Why this plague of dissatisfaction?
Why an unturned page?
why this spread of cruelty?
Why not try but fail?
Unanswerable questions,i think these are for me...
I'll just sit and stare at the poem as the
Plague of dissatisfaction spreads till eternity.
I am quiet, I am serene, I am wind and fire, I am, a queen. I am breathe and voice, I am heart and beat, I am sounds you cradle, I am the sole of your feet. I am carrier and word, I am thought and mistrust, I am heat and ice, I am *** and lust. I am fallen and hit, I am, sleep, I am dominant and stubborn, I am crushed and defeat. I am bells that toll, I am a philistine, I am hushed and centred, I am thou and thine. I am pulled, I am broken, and torn, I am consciousness and lost, I am reborn. I am woman, I am words and tongue, I am here and present, I am bullet and gun. I am wolf and fierce, I am protector of all, I am belief and faith, I am short and tall. I am fever, I am skin, and bone, I am a hug at night, I am a place you call home. I am sleep, I am dream, I am sufficient and loud, I am sewn and seam. I am lover and beauty, I am incredible and bereft, I am walk and talk, I am dumb and deaf. I am depth and substance, I am creator of life, I am misdeeds, I am trouble and strife. I am siren, I am power, I am forbidden fruit, I am the choir. I am fear, I am fright, I am creep and gentle, I am sense of right. I am tree, I am creature, I am autumn leaves, I am life's student and teacher. I am stop and halt, I am impe-tuous, I am starving, I am ra-venous. I am pelt, I am growl and claw, I am raven and rook, I am hammer and saw. I am flight, I am graceless, I am mercy, I am faceless. I am duty, I am bound, and enslaved, I am soar and breeze, I am story and fade. I am *******, I am almighty power, I am she, I am the tick, tock, tick, in your hour. I am beseeched, I am judged and shunned, I am a rough ****, I am powder in your gun. I am movement, I am forward, and pause, I am magic and mystic, I am the air in applause. I am brake light, I am crash and burn, I am wanton and demanding, I am 'when will you ever learn?', I am ex, I am honesty, and offence, I am lying naked and marked, I am dreaded intense. I am baker, I am cook, I am carer, I am all you took. I am forest, I am howl, and fang, I am bracken and bush, I am sung and sang. I am heave and sigh, I am a look of disgrace, I am tortured thought, I am disappointed face. I am halo, I am the barren chest, I am fortitude, I am armour and breast.  I am hot, I am spice, and flavour, I am between and in, I am reverence and saviour. I am bold red, I am bright and hue, I am sought and hidden, I am me, not you. I am the edge of forever, I am precipice and knife, I am forged steel, I am husband and wife. I am hedonism, I am beautifully free, I am arms wide open, I am everything of me. I am thought, I am prayer, I am darling, my darling, I am awake and aware. I am the trigger, I am a white flag of peace, I am the mother, I am desist and decease. I am climbing up higher, I am builder of bridges wide, I am swung high and low, I am by your side. I am cut grass, I am burnt toast, I am broken crystal glass, I am what you love to hate the most. I am a lady, I am a lover in the day and the night, I am restart, renew, I am a flame burning bright. I am gay and straight,  I am dual and nigh, I am man-lover undercovers, I am the apple of my eye. I am au-revoir in the morning, I am the last goodbye, I am something untold, I am the last time I cry. I am ******, I am drugged and tired, I am pain, I am high, and wired. I am level, I am calm and content, I am wink and thumb, I am the mortgage and the rent. I am fumble and tumble, I am drop and slip, I am smash and grab, I am slide and trip. I am laughter wide open, I am smile and teeth, I am depression and loss, I am the widow in grief. I am inner child, I am hurt and abused, I am friend and lover, I am wasted and used. I am survivor, I am strong in spirit and mind, I am a force to be reckoned with, I am resiliently kind. I am nature and nurture, I am tribe and race, I am society and people, I am colour and taste. I am within, I am without, I am shadow and hand, I am thought and doubt.
I am but, me. I am not.
Alinne Hayward Oct 2013
He keeps showing up in my head
Like a ghost haunting me
How did we get here?
All I know is that I cannot form it into the treasure it was before
I need to eat it without any fear
Leaving no crumbs behind
Why are the memories showing up now?
I think this year was waiting for this moment to bite me
And break me
Until I showed enough fear
So it would be finally satisfied
Tonight was the first time my tears dropped because of it in a long time
What more can I give?
Yes, I breathe for him but why does it mean so much to you?
Our friendship was less than I wanted it to be
I know that
What else are you trying to teach me?
That love is worthless or are you just enjoying this so that you can watch me drown in my own sadness?
Like I'm your puppet
Or your animal that you put in your own circus
I'll stare fear in the eye if I have to
I'm not going insane for you
I can have life without you
I don't need this twisted tongue tied madness in my head going off like my morning alarm clock
Life went on
So did I
I don't need you screaming in my thin ears everyday or for you to care
I want you to leave and never come back
Because guess what?
I woke up from this beautiful dysfunction dream
After all the pain I went through
And all the hope I tried to convince myself to have
I finally feel lifted
thyreez-thy Nov 2022
I fight for my village, I fight for the peace
Although in the real world, I never decease
I'm fighting like Madara, do it for the leaf
Forget Tsukiyomi, just go back to sleep
You sheep, believing the higher-ups, lie up their sleeves
Uchia have been dead yet still we lack peace

You hate me brother, yet deep in your heart
You couldn't defeat me even from the start
Your ideology, to **** and then rebirth? Where's the sense in that
You hate the leaf and you hate the fact
You needed them to build up, to be a shinobi
I see how you treat him, but can you trust Tobi

I did this for you, so hate me all you can
The reason you stand there's according to plan
I lived in the darkness so you guys could see
I always wanted this, I always believed

And if you must **** for it all to back
I hope you open up and stay on the track
Even the darkest shinobi have reasoning
Some call me a hero, yet some say it's treasonous

I think about Shino, we both were so young
My friend was a hero, his tale left unsung
Our eyes should see clearly, yet we have been blinded
Hatred and rage bind us, even we can't define it

Is it a curse to have all this strength
Yet death finds us open, leaves us with no suspense
Had it been the leaf to hunt for my head
Would it have been better, if it was them instead

I pray you may realise your curse is to think
To cut down the ninja, you don't even blink
They fear the Uchiha, our name is a swear
They treat us like dirt, yet here we still care

Maybe Naruto is the happiest of us all
To let go of hatred, to have a trust fall

You look up to me like I was your leader
You found a hollow husk and found you were eager

The eye is eternal, our lives are short-lived
We both signed the contract, what more can we give?
To see through the red, as our comrades bleed
To not even care, they fulfilled their needs

One day you'll be lost, stuck in your own beliefs
As someone takes away your life, such is a thief
If you can not see that I pray that you know
I've always wanted you to overtake me, bro
Random Itachi Cypher i made up xD
Dougie Simps Oct 2015
I'm becoming a monster
I'm becoming a monster!

Clawed my way out the gutter
My rage is what allows me to conquer!

I'm becoming a monster.

I'm becoming a tyrant
RUN, RUN, RUN

old feelings and brains that are mindless
Love that grew old and moments that were timeless

I'M A MONSTER!

scripted in my own story to **** and defeat
destroy and watch the innocent decease.

I'm...I'm not a monster.

I am a victim

a victim to what every woman I have ever been with...
now perceives me as.

every friend that's ever judge me

every family member that's looked at me strange

deranged... yet, I was just misunderstood

or... am I a monster? I think not

(I transform)

Yet, the blood rushes through my veins
as I think of you in pain...
It's like a sudden high for me
to see your heart gasping for air and your mind trapped in chains
You're so vain. You're so weak!
my lips tingle and hands cringe when you speak.
You were an angel to me 8 months a go...now you're a demon who like the devil, reaps...what is it you seek?
INNOCENTS!
what is it you say... FINISH HIM.
Now you're scared...and you should be...

The tables have turned
I'm the monster now.
I will expose you!
it's your demising moment...I seek.


(transforms back)

I lost it...Control...Hope...Sanity...

Myself and now...

You.

but you were already lost

You were already gone.
My transformation was caused by you.

I'm not a monster...I'm a creation of your twisted dark fantasy,
of your poison.

**Because really...
             The monster...
                                  Is you.
Feel so good to be back and writing like the old me again. I hope ya can follow along and get the trickery in this piece. #Monster PLEASE SHARE THIS
every moment
is continually shedding itself;
sloughing off the skin of time,
dying, into the past,
to freshen in exposure,

this moment.

to live, really
to breathe, by
impermanence.

constantly transforming,
the body is never solid,
here, there, as atomic flashes,
electrons popping in and out
of existence,
an appearance made,
to depart, in a flicker.

all turns off, like this,
always, eventually,
momentarily.

threshed and stripping
bare chaos
voraciously burns,

returning through extinguish
on smokey black horizons.

sinking, into
tendrils weaving,
knitting by fray,
tapestries engendered
by enveloping decease.

you feel this
don’t you?
unconscious
as much of it may be.

it is the nearest of near,
and dearly intimate,
passions corrosive kiss,
oscillating, opening,
to retract, in flow,
pushing in
to pull away,

thanatos is eros
together, apart again,
together-apart,
here-going.

the heart is aware,
supremely aware of this happening,
even when the mind is fooled
by apparent stability,

and the soul surrenders to
it's inevitability,
even hungering for
divine destruction,
as basic an urge
as the creative impulse.

to be composed
is to be subject to decompose,
fertilizing compositions
in cosmic chasms.

our lungs darkly shining
with every fall of the chest
mirroring,

each breath
one breath closer
to the final breath,

each exhale
a letting go
of what can’t be held
forever,

the expelled
foreshadows annihilation,
on the fading road, towards
this mortal coils entropic end;
a preparation.

to live, surely, is to meet loss
over and over,
to love, fully, is to grieve
again and again,

there is a deep
melancholic knowing
that exists in all living things,

water drops
tears like rain,
leaves fall
like sighs,

everyone,
and everything
dies.

our melancholy
might be sacred
could we truly embrace,
and feel, this reality:

death is the ever present condition.
Aaron LaLux Jun 2016
So I made a song with this poem. Please listen to the song when you read this poem. It's kinda experimental, please let me know what you think. Okay, here's the music link and here's the written poem. Go ahead play the song and read the poem at the same time :-) I'm REALLY CURIOUS to see what you think about it for real. Thank You and YES I Love You. ∆

Soundcloud; Aaron La Lux, Welcome to Wall Street;

Wolf of Wall Street

Belly of the Beast,
Bull by the Horns,
welcome to Wall street,
where it's always calm before the storm,
sun rises in the east,
then sets in the palms,
joker brokers don't give a ****t,
Robin in sin giving no alms,
just stock certificates that are counterfeit,
the poor being robbed blind distracted by Tiffany's charms,

Belly of the Beast,
Bull by the horns,
Raging Bull ****t stinks,
blood red roses and platinum thorns,
devils defecate drama causing trauma dreams decease,
when the American Dream finally dies no one will mourn,
we'll all just grin and bear it like we do when we have a disease,
commerce is always calmer before a perversely well performing storm,
broken hearts we wear on our designer shirt sleeves,
no cuff links just conflicts and economic hit men in uniform uniforms,

in Belly of the Beast in Hell's Kitchen brewing up a **** storm,
can you smell it?
I tell it,
can you hear it,
We're it,
though that what that we are I can't fully describe,
going to hell in a Bentley hand basket,
but at least we're enjoying the ride,

one way,
upside down,
in an elevating elevator,
self implosion motion here in boomtown,
one way on the rise,
rising down,
one way,
on the rise,
rising up full of hot air in a balloon,
until the bubble burst and we fall from Cloud 9,

as we free fall out into nothing...

World wide assisted suicide,
I held him until he died,
self assisted suicide,
from a self inflicted desire to die,
had that beautiful corner office view from floor 49,
until he jumped out the window when he went out his mind,
sometimes the darkest souls burn the brightest lights,
for better or for worse these are the days of our lives,
be careful what you wish for be careful what you find,
and I'm not Darth Vader but welcome to the Darkside…

Who decides,
who lives and who dies?
No one does,
and that's because,
everybody dies,
Bulls eye,
spot on,
bodies in,
the Hudson,
no man or mother is a match for Father Time,

what Son?
What's one,
life when all is divine,
as we walk the line,
with a pocket full of Johnny Cash,
Persian rug burns I've developed a rash,
as we walk the line,
tight rope,
tied between Twin Towers,
a World Trade of world slaves,
intoxicated by the power,

in the Belly of The Beast,
got the Bull by the horns,
so we grin and Bear it,
we take the roses with the thorns,
as we count the moments,
down to the final hour,
there's no time left for atonement,
because our souls have been devoured,
so now we're in the Belly of the Beast,
forgot the Ten Commandments here in the 11th. Hour,
at war with ourselves death will be a relief,
looking forward to the moment when we can finally rest in peace.

Peace.

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

from The H Trilogy;
available worldwide 7/7/16

https://www.amazon.com/Poetry-Trilogy-3-TPT3-ebook/dp/B00YB4ZBDW


Bam!
Maleficent Aug 2014
I often feel like I don’t belong
Like I am not supposed to be here
This place
This time
Something is always telling me
You are fated to break these walls
And get confused
In the woodlands
Something is always blaring at me
You should be ******* those wolves
Fighting them
Rebelling them
And scorching all the walls
I do not understand
Sometimes I imagine
Is it worth the fight
What is belonging
What does it indicate
That you find your body somewhere in the ashes
And you feel alright
You feel stillness
And you are not bothered
About ****
****** up sheep
****** up wolves
****** up ****
And mess
Disorder.
Sometimes I think
I love the challenge
The glorious unethical feeling of being ******* up so bad
That you are disable
Those cramps my love
Are the reason why we’re here
Those wounds my baby
Are telling you to make it acuter
To make it dreadful
Until it’s worth it
Until the end of time
I know you love it
So you need to **** it more
Until you realize
Why we’re here
Why you belong
With all the non-forgiving cells
With all the beautiful regrets
I know you love it
But it doesn’t mean ****
You don’t belong here
And neither are your concealed pains
Your ***** hands
Your anxious thoughts
We must decease tonight
So that it counts
So that it’s worth it
You see
My love
Where you belong?
The smoke never seems to cease
In it most people decease
We understand it
And yet we don't
People spend their lives
Searching for the will to survive
Until they abandon all hope
And vanish in the smoke
The smoke cloaks our life
To find the smoke we strive
I don't want to live in this life anymore
Haunt me no more
Take me away smoke
I have abandoned all hope
Joe Fogg Sep 2011
When we are needy
The greedy feed easy
When we just please
We are easy to tease

Seeking approval
Is responsibility removal
Who's approval do I need?
To make the choice to succeed

Feeling displeased
Like feeling dis-ease
It leads to disease
That leads to decease

Seeking to blame
The simplest game
Avoiding a responsibility
For my own possibility

Choosing my emotion
Without the commotion
Didn't choose the inference
But I do own the response

Anger like coal
Burns who it holds
Vengeance a slave
So dig it two graves

No need to accept
No need to reject
No need to adore
No need to abhor
No need to be needy
So, needy no more

copyright/all rights reserved Joe Fogg 2011
I wonder how you feel to-day
As I have felt since, hand in hand,
We sat down on the grass, to stray
In spirit better through the land,
This morn of Rome and May?

For me, I touched a thought, I know,
Has tantalized me many times,
(Like turns of thread the spiders throw
Mocking across our path) for rhymes
To catch at and let go.

Help me to hold it! First it left
The yellow fennel, run to seed
There, branching from the brickwork’s cleft,
Some old tomb’s ruin: yonder ****
Took up the floating weft,

Where one small orange cup amassed
Five beetles,—blind and green they *****
Among the honey meal: and last,
Everywhere on the grassy *****
O traced it. Hold it fast!

The champaign with its endless fleece
Of feathery grasses everywhere!
Silence and passion, joy and peace,
An everlasting wash of air—
Rome’s ghost since her decease.

Such life here, through such lengths of hours,
Such miracles performed in play,
Such primal naked forms of flowers,
Such letting nature have her way
While heaven looks from its towers!

How say you? Let us, O my dove,
Let us be unashamed of soul,
As earth lies bare to heaven above!
How is it under our control
To love or not to love?
I would that you were all to me,
You that are just so much, no more.
Nor yours nor mine, nor slave nor free!
Where does the fault lie? What the core
O’ the wound, since wound must be?

I would I could adopt your will,
See with your eyes, and set my heart
Beating by yours, and drink my fill
At your soul’s springs,— your part my part
In life, for good and ill.

No. I yearn upward, touch you close,
Then stand away. I kiss your cheek,
Catch your soul’s warmth,— I pluck the rose
And love it more than tongue can speak—
Then the good minute goes.

Already how am I so far
Our of that minute? Must I go
Still like the thistle-ball, no bar,
Onward, whenever light winds blow,
Fixed by no friendly star?

Just when I seemed about to learn!
Where is the thread now? Off again!
The Old trick! Only I discern—
Infinite passion, and the pain
Of finite hearts that yearn.
From fairest creatures we desire increase,
That thereby beauty’s rose might never die,
But as the riper should by time decease,
His tender heir might bear his memory;
But thou contracted to thine own bright eyes,
Feed’st thy light’s flame with self-substantial fuel,
Making a famine where abundance lies,
Thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel.
Thou that art now the world’s fresh ornament,
And only herald to the gaudy spring,
Within thine own bud buriest thy content,
And tender churl mak’st waste in niggarding.
    Pity the world, or else this glutton be:
    To eat the world’s due, by the grave and thee.
Leonard Green Jul 2013
Round 1: New Life
Entered abruptly, this world out of the caretaker’s womb
astonished by the awe of unusual surroundings
so unlike the comfort of the nine month pacifier
images fade in, then out, and in, then out once again
feel this empty sensation, deep inside the belly
initially a murmur, then a monstrous growl
shall this need drive the emerging beast…

Round 2: Survive
Astounded still, by the incentives from the senses
nonetheless, comprehension builds mostly from stumbling
and the consequences of actions may honor or condemn
imitating and discovering, touching and tasting, the wants
hear this curious whisper, deep inside the mind
initially a hum, then a vicarious voice
shall this be the song of a destined course…

Round 3: First Love
Twinkled eyes, with the melody of hypnotizing admiration
wanting so fierce, the heart skips several beats
beauty so pure and deep, the skin becomes totally immaterial
can’t eat, can’t sleep, want to caress this haunting dream
but wait, maybe the feelings lack mutual perception
then to experience the piercing silence of rejection
shall this fear define the character…

Round 4: Nuptials
Exchanged vows, two mates to share eternity as one soul
to nurture one another with the food of selfless care
instead, demons from the spirit’s dark side arose
mistrusting and abusing, suffocating and killing, the love
no room, no place for compassion and understanding
only the refuge for a hollowed indifference
shall this be the start of a fragile heart…

Round 5: Bounce Back**
Continued hope, for the chance to champion a cause
to humbly honor the truth in self and in others
reckless to the tangible constraints weighing on the mind
to decease, to desist, the will to life’s tribulations
the blows come and go, a jab here, a jab there
striking with unforeseen yet uncanny precision
shall this bell ring in the final round…
Lexander J May 2015
Uncouthly, the freeze of late-february did start to wane,
and from the canals that run through the city of Manchester
mists slowly arose, along with degrading auras of heavy disdain.

As pubs and nightclubs alike
shuttered up and locked down upon the cusp of early morn,
slimy creatures slowly ascended, treading the shadows of the streets for easy prey to ****** before the oncoming dawn,

stray felines and dogs, the most common of their foods,
thy amphibious monstrosities leaving behind nothing but bones -
and upon the second night after, their hunger sought more,

so they snuck into unknowing buildings and stole children from their homes.

Now what happened on that morning after was most queer;
these children were not found dead nor reduced to corpses, but in the strangest of places -

standing upon the edge of the canal's miasmic bank,

untouched 'xcept for the stretch of skin that now covers their faces.
Inspired By HP Lovecraft
Nathan Squiers Sep 2014
I'm sure you're out there hating all that I have become,
Cursing me and memories of all the things I've done.
I'm sure you're out there wallowing in the depths of I-don't-care-where,
I'm even sure you're chanting that all of it was unfair.
And while I don't feel I owe you a single wasted breath,
Allow me now to tell you how I came to bring you death:

As your lapdog I felt compelled to take you in my jaws,
And as your partner I was shackled by all those grueling laws.
As your master I was bored by every tear you ever shed,
But as your killer I was tickled by just how much you bled.
Can you see it now--should sight allow--what I never could foresee?
That only once, my tortured dunce, could you bleed enough for me.

I may spot you in the ether of the world not quite our own,
And you may ache to see that I have found myself alone.
However...
I've taken many others in the time that you've been gone;
Many who have served me well, so very few withdrawn.
These things aren't said to anger you, but just to give me peace.
I truly hate to plague my mind when my property decease.
Whatever.

As a mistress I was driven to see you beneath my boot,
And as an equal you were never intellectually astute.
As a servant you were lacking in the class that I demand,
And as a pet you oft ignored the rule of the feeding hand.
Through it all--'tween rise and fall--there was the alpha-sin, you see,
Because, darling, though I love you so, you didn't bleed enough for me.
I've always been rather intrigued by stories that were told from the point of view of the villain (or at least what most would consider the villain to be). Every now and again the urge to toggle this perception and offer a unique and rarely utilized narrative device. Earlier, I was enjoying some music by the German synth-metal band "Oomph!" and was motivated by one particular line (that pretty much directly motivated the title herein).

I hope you enjoy ^_^
Anthony Moore Jun 2010
Everything has changed
Yet nothing is different
You left me deranged
But I don’t think you meant it
The things you have done
Have burnt this one
Engulfed in flames
With the rage of the sun
My hearts a puzzle
For which you hold the last piece
You hold it forever
Is the way it seems
To watch my soul decrease
And my life decease
Sleeping tranquil
In eternal peace
You teased me with happiness
And punished me with pain
You pleased me with cuteness
As you played your game
You set up a smoke screen
To keep me blind
I could have never seen
The hurt and anguish
Resulting from you scheme
An unescapable pain
This is no dream
Fore this is reality
And I am love’s fatality
Anthony J. Alexander 2006
XyL0S May 2018
I tap on the floor,
continuously,
Waiting for my turn...
I'm nervous,  but that's with everyone at my place
My temple is burning,
But that's with everyone here...
They always sweat,
Even if it's the blood they lose in the battle,
The battle... Bound to be lost,
The battle where you lose,
But as a matter of deep surprise,  no one wins...

It's a process of waste...
You keep growing inside to stop forever once and for all,
I degrade here as I fuse to grow,
I increase to decease,
To decease,
Refuse to withdraw
Because I can't, even if I choose to not swing my sword...

I wince at the prayers for,
They are disguised,
You join hands before the one who has bound mine from wiping,
The blood off myself,
The blood no one sees ,
The blood no one shall see,
But I smile as I get up to
greet them all that pour with sympathy...

Losing seconds to my vanishing
To the first and only life I got just to peep,
Look from far,
As I get to see things happen by themselves,
Like some tangled wool I'm left.
Warm still useless,
Kept...
To throw away.
This piece of love dedicated to all the survivors and fighters of cancer and disorders that in any way hinder their life... Dedicated to my lovely Angel, my best buddy.
She has no idea I wrote this for her... Or had.... She's the best person that happened to me...she was a disease I couldn't let go,  a beautiful one... The one I wouldn't ever let go.

Can I have love for her?
Dougie Simps Jun 2013
Who am I?*
Not sure..
I ask myself daily
Want to win so bad I lose focus and
End up failing
Comin up short and I know the
Road is just so long
Lost sanity as a child
Guess my mind has been so gone
I'm wrong,  you right
I finally get a grip and understand
Drawing up a blueprint
Yet no one understands my plans
What else is there to accomplish?
The stresses of a driven man
Friends are temporary but forever is god music and my fam
God called I didn't pick up so he left a message
Told me to purify my heart, treat others with respect and stop being so aggressive
It Felt like religion class except I actually understood this lesson...the people in my life who lend out advice are more then just a blessing.
Thank you haters for all the hate
The fake woman who I thought it was faith
And my illusions that make up my dreams And this peaceful world it allows me to create
I wanna tell my angel to keep following me, never let the devil take over in what I believe
and show the strength Jesus endured when thy made our savior bleed
and don't ever let me fall down...never...not even on my knees
Heal the world of all the anger and murderous disease
And stop society quickly, for slowly they are making our world decease
Allow the thought of prayer in peoples mind to increase
And watch my every step please don't stop looking over me.
and help me spread love from sea to shining sea..
And help me find a woman wholl love me and promise she won't leave,
Unlock my heart with the key and set my tameless soul free..
Too the Father, son, the holy spirt I beg you lord ..amen ..this is my finally plea.
Forgive me for all my sins
And please don't give up on me.
For without your power is like no air i just couldnt breath.
Allow my body to be one with the earth just don't send me far beneath...
Lift me up with the stars, allow me to fly the world under my feet.
You tell me to follow the signs but there so many different roads so many different streets
I'm terrified to choose wrong. Angel, but with you alongside I shall not fear defeat.
this man in the mirror is the only person I ever known the only person in who I need to learn to beat

-Dougie simps
Old poem I wrote to help get me through a tough time.
How like a winter hath my absence been
From thee, the pleasure of the fleeting year!
What freezings have I felt, what dark days seen!
What old December’s bareness everywhere!
And yet this time removed was summer’s time,
The teeming autumn, big with rich increase,
Bearing the wanton burden of the prime,
Like widowed wombs after their lords’ decease:
Yet this abundant issue seemed to me
But hope of orphans, and unfathered fruit,
For summer and his pleasures wait on thee,
And thou away, the very birds are mute.
    Or, if they sing, ’tis with so dull a cheer,
    That leaves look pale, dreading the winter’s near.
Stand by your oath and release what they're supposed to see
Because I don't like living in a dark, twisted , fantasy
We're not here to end the peace
So let's go back and let our evil decease
Press the button
Nobody Loses All The Time

nobody loses all the time

i had an uncle named
Sol who was a born failure and
nearly everybody said he should have gone
into vaudeville perhaps because my Uncle Sol could
sing McCann He Was A Diver on Xmas Eve like Hell Itself which
may or may not account for the fact that my Uncle

Sol indulged in that possibly most inexcusable
of all to use a highfalootin phrase
luxuries that is or to
wit farming and be
it needlessly
added

my Uncle Sol’s farm
failed because the chickens
ate the vegetables so
my Uncle Sol had a
chicken farm till the
skunks ate the chickens when

my Uncle Sol
had a skunk farm but
the skunks caught cold and
died and so
my Uncle Sol imitated the
skunks in a subtle manner

or by drowning himself in the watertank
but somebody who’d given my Uncle Sol a Victor
Victrola and records while he lived presented to
him upon the auspicious occasion of his decease a
scruptious not to mention splendiferous funeral with
tall boys in black gloves and flowers and everything and
i remember we all cried like the Missouri
when my Uncle Sol’s coffin lurched because
somebody pressed a button
(and down went
my Uncle
Sol

and started a worm farm)

—by ee cummings
Surrender this dusty heart of mine
I have chased the height of my beliefs
As my lips have been colored purple
I exposed my sharp scars
Capturing spirits  in my pockets
Years of a souless sound
Battles against a noose
My mind has begun to decease
Bottles pose as my friends
The artillery of this difficult fight
As I  sleep on the currents of frozen ground
Perching on the plank
Crimson  blood in the air
The ocean of brick bones that fade
Fighting this war in vain
Still sober but its a constant battle out on that plank.
Emma Nov 2016
When I'm with you, my heart beats fast
I'm sorry our conversations don't usually last
I feel like this is going too fast, I never had
a relationship like this in the past, I've only been bashed
I've only crashed, With a razor i slashed, now I'm trashed
I'm waste, toothpaste, When I'm faced, My lips are laced,
That's the case, that's all that i need to say, Now go away
I'm about to have a panic attack every day, I'm just like this
you can't change me, Every time someone gets close to me, i just flee
Like a flea, You can't see me, I'm so small I can't be free, I wish i was
a tree, so no one could be with me, I'd be still until I'd decease, I'm a broken piece of glass, bet you never heard that, In grade 6 all i ever did was wear black, Yeah, i wear that, but it's not fair that, i was made fun of, made me feel suicidal, throwing my emotions in a tidal, tidal wave, I can't be brave, They say, I feel locked away, rocked away, fading, in decay, I can never stay, My heart melts to clay, when i see you everyday. Now I'm broken, trust issues, now I've spoken, can't you see the rhymes I've broke in, I want a cloak n some magic potion to send me away from this place, I'm such a disgrace, I hide my face, I pick up the pace, I tried to avoid them but it didn't work, they just made me hurt, I had a spurt, of confidence there, well that confidence's gone. I'm shattered in pieces. And yeah, you better believe it.
Bullying is wrong. I got bullied today, that's why i made this. also because of my social anxiety, i can't keep a conversation with my boyfriend. i felt really sad.
Life is a series of illness after illness and decease after decease
I am in sheer love and from my beloved I got gift of love agonies
My sweetheart I am indebted in love and take this just ecstasies
Still I am hopeful that you will open the window for love breeze

You have full right over me so play with my heart as you desire
I know what your beauty is and I have decided to burn in the fire
I see your image everywhere less you my love to admire to inspire
Like a lunatic I roam door to door to inquire less I remain afire

Please do not test me to a limit which my love I never ever deserve
Like a humble staunch servant I want to bow and submit and serve  
Throughout life one is still unable to appreciate beauty curve by curve
I have no one else less you, you have millions and millions in reserve


Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow
Kenneth Gray Nov 2020
Hello suicide!
Its been awhile
Remember me?
Yer ol' buddy Kyle?
I need your assistance
To escape from this trial
Forgive me friend
If I'm unable to smile

Ah, yes! Kyle, of course!
Forgive me bud
If my voice does sound hoarse

I've been hanging around
Don't you see?
I'm glad you've swung by
To console in me
For my first recommendation
Is hanging
Yes, in fact
This is my plea
Might I suggest a rafter
Or perhaps a nice tree?
This ones on the house
Yeah, this one is free

Ah, yes! A hanging
Indeed!
But if I were to do that
A rope I would need
Not only that
But I could be rescued
And freed
Do you have another?
Please forgive me suicide
Forgive me for my greed
What else can I do?
Please consider my plead!

Ah, yes! I can do one more
But I'm growing tired and weak
And my neck is still sore

Take a handful of pills
And overdose
This I know you've tried
And you came really close
But you can't be easily rescued
And you don't need a rope
Do it! Destroy your dreams!
And trample your hopes!

Excellent! This one sounds great
For sure!
I do have a decease
And pills might be the cure
But what if I live
What if my body endures?
But this option has potential
And it has great allure
I'll consider this option
To you, I ensure

Well, well, well!
Look what we have here!
Looks like I'm successful
As if a death is near
Theree no need to panic
Theres no need to fear
However, I do need payment
So start paying in tears!
Now RIP my good friend
Its been fun mate, cheers!
I've dealt with suicidal thoughts alot in my life. So this is kind of like the dialogue I have with it. As if we know each other and were friends.
DieingEmbers Oct 2012
He gave me folic acid
I thought I'm not pregnant
and laughed
I needed to laugh to find humour
in the situation
grave as it was
cancer medicines and chest X-rays
all routine for
Rheumatoid Arthritis free floating
in the blood
HE SAID
joints tender before
aching now
meds that may make your hair fall out
again I laugh
I'm already going bald.
tonight the cycle begins immune system down
as these react with beta blockers
leaving me wide open to decease and infection
I need a laugh
right now
I can't see the funny side
Yvonne Maynard Mar 2013
Man i miss my bro.... I remeber wen we was kids and all the crazy **** did. we kept secrets from momma ..kept each other from gettn whoopns and much more drama. and nw u in jail and i know i sho miss u like hell..man i miss ur crazy sayns like (dis shxt is a terrible discrimination). bt hey u give me the motovation to stay here wit momma and nt make so much truma. and to go to school so i can get my diploma.. man bro i need u out here.. life is crazy and im holdn bac my tears.. tryn to stay strong and keep myself from doin wrong.. even doe i feel im alone in this piece.. momma might have cancer and i know my heart is decease. my eyes burn everyday so i try to turn to God and pray.. i feel like he nt hearn me becz stuff is nt cumn to me so easily... i mean i dnt thnk life jus *** so brezzy bt its like things nt gettn bettr bt turn for the worst.. wen i think of strong people u *** up first.. i miss u bro and love u.. and momma the only one who stepps above u.. u nt far behind. u r really next on my heart line. i wish i can show u that me and momma nt blind and we knw u care and love for us to... its a little hard to show it from you.. ha u know dats true.. :) lil Sis
Abimael May 2016
Mother will wipe us all
Even if she love all living thing
All living thing that she create
She will destroy all decease
All decease that we as "Humans"
Has done to her
Careful what you wish for
Because she you does forget.
As a mother of love.
Nicole Nov 2013
Does it make me a murderer.
if I know he's going to see decease?
I've tried and tried but
one can only fight so long for peace.
Before all the battles and repressed memories
run themselves out of space.
And when everything in life fades away
because stress forces all your day's thoughts to erase.
He begged me to tell him to leave
something I would never say.
But is not doing what he asked
just the same anyways?
He told me I could save him
because he can't live without me.
No bother reminding him that I'm here
I know too well what he really means.
I knew exactly what he wanted
what he said could be an assist.
But I couldn't do that to her
no matter how he would persist.
Cure for Reality Sep 2013
only i can pronounce
and it keeps screaming
back at me in old voices
and fatal strokes of
dead birds calling out

two times the pitch
sounds only the dead can dance to
and it goes on
note after note
diminishing the sanity
and wiping out my thoughts

                         and now

even though
these vocal chords
currently feel like
crumpled papers
& deserted alleys,


the screeching won’t decease.
O, that you were your self! But, love, you are
No longer yours than you yourself here live.
Against this coming end you should prepare,
And your sweet semblance to some other give.
So should that beauty which you hold in lease
Find no determination; then you were
Yourself again after yourself’s decease,
When your sweet issue your sweet form should bear.
Who lets so fair a house fall to decay,
Which husbandry in honour might uphold
Against the stormy gusts of winter’s day
And barren rage of death’s eternal cold?
    O, none but unthrifts! Dear my love, you know,
    You had a father; let your son say so.
I'm sitting alone in a crowded room,
people talking all around, sharing smiles
laughter and joy. Yet all I can think about
is you.

You, you, you, you, you.

You're like a poison that doesn't want to leave my mind,
it contaminates me, one bite and your venom seeps into
my open wounds and makes me suffer
the agony of thought.

Thoughts.

They never end, the what if's never decease,
and every morning I don't want to awake
into another world where I know I shouldn't have
anymore hope.

Hope.

It's lacking in my life, like a balloon flying upwards
toward the sun, your eyes make me change what I think
over and over your words don't seem consistent
with that look.

That look.

That look that tells me you have so much more to say
more to give, more to offer, more to propel,
yet your words speak cowardice, over and over get
out of that little bubble because I've jumped out of mine
because you forced me to pop it and now I'm
a fish without water.

Without water, without hope, without dreams
but I can't stop my dreams and my hope
that my subconscious gives me every night
over and over and over again with you and I
don't know what I dream but that when I wake up
I see your face and when I go to sleep you're the last
thing I think about.

You're the only thing I can think about.
Concentration lost.
i had to get these feelings jotted down before I left my house
With such compelling cause to grieve
  As daily vexes household peace,
  And chains regret to his decease,
How dare we keep our Christmas-eve;

Which brings no more a welcome guest
  To enrich the threshold of the night
  With shower'd largess of delight
In dance and song and game and jest?

Yet go, and while the holly boughs
  Entwine the cold baptismal font,
  Make one wreath more for Use and Wont,
That guard the portals of the house;

Old sisters of a day gone by,
  Gray nurses, loving nothing new;
  Why should they miss their yearly due
Before their time? They too will die.

— The End —