i am the *** waiting for the last turn of the hob until it boils over

i am the glass waiting for the last drop of wine until it spills

i am the frightened child sitting in the dark waiting for someone to turn on the light

i am the frightened child sitting in the dark hoping nobody will turn on the light
can’t you hear
that in every ‘goodbye’ we tell ourselves
there lies a screaming ‘please don’t go’?
honey, you could make the sun wish it was the moon for just one night to be able to be the one to witness the way you come to life when it's past 1am and you're dancing to the sound of memories rushing to your heart
it's okay to overthink sometimes
I would have poured gasoline on myself and asked for your lighter while you lit your cigarette just to prove how much I loved you and it still wouldn’t have phased you as much as the nicotine would // now I laugh while you light your cigarette and when you ask me why I just tell you sunshine burns bright enough just fine without you anyway
so long, sucker
i miss you softly, like the way you used to gently touch me with hesitance hoping that wherever you held onto was the right place, the way you used to breathe into my ear for affirmation, the way you used to want to hold my hand despite it being as cold as the winters i had to weather after getting my heart broken

i miss you tenderly, like the way i held on to you after i realised i could really learn to love you, like the way we held hands and fell asleep that last night because young love and new love and gentle love doesn't know just *******, it knows feelings

i miss you eagerly, like the way i waited for you to message for two and a half weeks telling me something was off, like the way your message sunk into my chest when you told me we had to talk

i miss you the way i missed myself when i was with him, the way i constantly searched for a me behind the bars of a relationship that only knew how to push me farther into the cell

i miss you / i miss you / i miss you
**** happens
he tasted like all the memories of us that would never go away, etched in the crevices of every cavity and every bleeding gum, memories you crave the way you want candy or that chocolate bar, memories working their way to the nerve so they can hit you and leave you numb
don’t leave bits of your heart in the ones who find the blood you spill intriguing, don’t jump into them as if they’re the bottom of the cliff you’ve always wanted to jump off of, don’t hold on to them the way you wish you’d been held through the darkest parts of your depression, don’t let muscle memory remember places they call home, don’t don’t don’t let yourself drown in more disappointment
Sigh
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