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"checkup" poems
Perhaps, We have a worldview, that has turned a bit myopic. Perhaps, We need a checkup from a doctor for Our optics, Perhaps, We need for them to write Us out a new prescription, then Perhaps, We'd see the truth in life that's written in inscription, Perhaps, the Earth is weeping somberly, but We don't care to listen, Perhaps, it warns us of Our doom when global profits are our mission Perhaps, the World is run by men, whose only drive is for themselves Perhaps, the few will **** the many, just for monetary wealth, Perhaps, We're all too blind to understand the implications, Perhaps, a future fraught with poverty and war is what We're facing Perhaps, a different train of thought, is faintly running by adjacent, Perhaps, it's one that wrests its life from the stagnation of complacence Perhaps, We're living forms of life that have been cast inside a mold Perhaps, estrangement from each other causes Our Hearts to grow cold Perhaps, all concentrated power's an illusion, We behold, Perhaps, We all could take it back, if We'd stop doing what We're told Perhaps, Our Being is unique, and isn't something predefined, Perhaps, Our priorities in life should they themselves be redefined, Perhaps, Our voices are of import, and should not be undermined, Perhaps, We all should organize, and build a world of new design Perhaps, it is the Media that keeps Us all divided, Perhaps, We should act neighborly and strive to be united, Perhaps, in living as a People, We would find Ourselves delighted, and Perhaps, We'd change the status quo, if We would only try to fight it.
0
May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 5:01 AM UTC
Perhaps
Perhaps, We have a worldview, that has turned a bit myopic. Perhaps, We need a checkup from a doctor for Our optics, Perhaps, We need for them to write Us out a new prescription, then Perhaps, We'd see the truth in life that's written in inscription, Perhaps, the Earth is weeping somberly, but We don't care to listen, Perhaps, it warns us of Our doom when global profits are our mission Perhaps, the World is run by men, whose only drive is for themselves Perhaps, the few will **** the many, just for monetary wealth, Perhaps, We're all too blind to understand the implications, Perhaps, a future fraught with poverty and war is what We're facing Perhaps, a different train of thought, is faintly running by adjacent, Perhaps, it's one that wrests its life from the stagnation of complacence Perhaps, We're living forms of life that have been cast inside a mold Perhaps, estrangement from each other causes Our Hearts to grow cold Perhaps, all concentrated power's an illusion, We behold, Perhaps, We all could take it back, if We'd stop doing what We're told Perhaps, Our Being is unique, and isn't something predefined, Perhaps, Our priorities in life should they themselves be redefined, Perhaps, Our voices are of import, and should not be undermined, Perhaps, We all should organize, and build a world of new design Perhaps, it is the Media that keeps Us all divided, Perhaps, We should act neighborly and strive to be united, Perhaps, in living as a People, We would find Ourselves delighted, and Perhaps, We'd change the status quo, if We would only try to fight it.
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24
Indeed It was a breakup, ‘Cuz I was only for “necking her up”, ‘Cuz I was “dead from neck up”, Loving her was my greatest blunder, ‘Cuz she played a ***** heart plunder, Now when I see her Soft heartbeats become loud thunder, Hey peeps, She left me For other cove, She theft me In name of love, Then I kept her In my mind’s blocklist, Why heft her Meaningless memories, Easy say Hard in action But I needed a “whole soul checkup”, Indeed It was a breakup…..
0
Mar 23, 2021
Mar 23, 2021 at 7:10 AM UTC
Indeed, it was a Breakup!
When we found each other, We were a mess, hair was muffled, Eyes were swollen and heart was broken. We were like medicine, Or I'd say we're the doctors And at the same time we were the hospital. Our hearts were our patient, I put a little bit of iodine love in you But I guess yours healed first, Leaving me alone in this hospital Without any medication And so much expectations. I didn't have the money To pay the bill So I gave up my surgery, Letting my patient die alone, Slowly and lonely. Did you came to visit? Did you came to pray? Did you came to wish a 'get well soon'? Did you bring her too? Well if you're happy then I'll be happy for you. Thank you my medicine, My doctor, My hospital, For everything we've been through, Make her happy and treat her patient Carefully with love for serenity And promise me you'll love her Until the day you die, And always say 'I love you' everytime.
0
Sep 4, 2019
Sep 4, 2019 at 7:37 AM UTC
Medical Checkup
We forgot to make love last night, yet again like many other nights we remained distant islands separated by Bermuda's of bed sheet and air. The body wasn't very happy Those thousands of red cells inside you divided and redivided in anger Ached and oozed and broke free from your restless When I woke up this morning, I found you lying in a pool of blood. You decided to go to work After all it was a Friday and the long weekend was a week away. You take too many iron supplements I fear, one day your body will be so full of folic acid that it will cry. We have the Smokies lined up for October and the Cayman Islands in Christmas Thinking of planned vacations makes me go to work every day Even though I **** so bad that I'd rather open a book store and read all day and sell a book or two. My life is still all about you After all these years I still couldn't kiss that woman who asked me on a coffee date at 10 pm by the lake. or the one who found me cute on our album by the dressing table You would say "Go ahead , we are not married yet". I would laugh when I am alone, thinking of the all the things you say these days. You say all the good things in life needs planning marriage, kids, buying house on mortgage convertible sport coupes vacations in South Pacific. I find it ironic that I met you on a book store when I cancelled a TGIF party and had this sudden urge to buy Alice Munro's short stories. We were sweet, back then. Now you lie, about being anemic on your weekly routine checkup hide, your biopsy report soon afterwards; lie again, on the reason of your sudden cancellation of the planned vacations for the year end saying it's work. Then you disappear, terrify me Only to come back strands of hair gone from your head still say nothing, yet finally disappear saying nothing before I could buy us the last vacation together. I regret how much we could have done together if we made love more often my body healing yours resting, soothing, purging all the enemies. On the day when we supposed to be married I visit the Caymans laughing alone in a crowded beach thinking about all the things you used to say these days having Alice Munro's short stories for company.
0
Aug 24, 2012
Aug 24, 2012 at 4:03 PM UTC
Disease
We forgot to make love last night, yet again like many other nights we remained distant islands separated by Bermuda's of bed sheet and air. The body wasn't very happy Those thousands of red cells inside you divided and redivided in anger Ached and oozed and broke free from your restless When I woke up this morning, I found you lying in a pool of blood. You decided to go to work After all it was a Friday and the long weekend was a week away. You take too many iron supplements I fear, one day your body will be so full of folic acid that it will cry. We have the Smokies lined up for October and the Cayman Islands in Christmas Thinking of planned vacations makes me go to work every day Even though I **** so bad that I'd rather open a book store and read all day and sell a book or two. My life is still all about you After all these years I still couldn't kiss that woman who asked me on a coffee date at 10 pm by the lake. or the one who found me cute on our album by the dressing table You would say "Go ahead , we are not married yet". I would laugh when I am alone, thinking of the all the things you say these days. You say all the good things in life needs planning marriage, kids, buying house on mortgage convertible sport coupes vacations in South Pacific. I find it ironic that I met you on a book store when I cancelled a TGIF party and had this sudden urge to buy Alice Munro's short stories. We were sweet, back then. Now you lie, about being anemic on your weekly routine checkup hide, your biopsy report soon afterwards; lie again, on the reason of your sudden cancellation of the planned vacations for the year end saying it's work. Then you disappear, terrify me Only to come back strands of hair gone from your head still say nothing, yet finally disappear saying nothing before I could buy us the last vacation together. I regret how much we could have done together if we made love more often my body healing yours resting, soothing, purging all the enemies. On the day when we supposed to be married I visit the Caymans laughing alone in a crowded beach thinking about all the things you used to say these days having Alice Munro's short stories for company.
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67
Hip bones protruding like jagged rocks at the bottom of a cliff. Collarbones like the bones of a turkey carcass after thanksgiving dinner. Ribs showing so much you could play them as you would a xylophone. Wrists so thin they are likes apple cores. "You should eat more" people have said. What they didn't know is I ate like a starving animal that was given a years worth of food for the first time. I stuff my face full of food hoping I will gain another pound. Going to the doctors is just disappointment waiting to happen. You go for a checkup and when they weigh you, you find out you weigh 106 pounds. Last time you went you were a 105. It's been 6 months if stuffing your face full of food for 1 pound. Chocolate cakes, chips, and other foods that would usually make someone gain weight made me gain one pound. I am now 120 pounds. It's been 1 and a half years. You are proud. You gained the weight. Your hip bones like rocks at the bottom of a cliff when the tide is high, Your collar bones like the thanksgiving turkey that isn't quite finished yet. Your ribs are no longer an instrument. Your wrists are the apple that only had a few bites taken. You are happy.
0
May 5, 2015
May 5, 2015 at 11:19 PM UTC
Skinny
Why does it happen to me? Did the accident also give me a brain tumor? The most common symptoms of brain tumors include headaches; numbness or tingling in the arms or legs; seizures, memory problems; mood and personality changes; balance and walking problems; nausea and vomiting; changes in speech, vision, or hearing. I have all except seizures and nausea & vomiting. I am already on Sodium Valproate and Valproic Acid controlled release tablets which are given to brain tumour patients as well. My psychiatrist was so scared while asking my dad the last time we went for checkup, "Did he have seizures or vomiting?" But I am not scared, I know that stuff can only get better for me. I have had enough of misfortune.
0
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 11:56 PM UTC
I Don't Know
It's just a little checkup To make sure my blood's still red Not black Or even gone altogether It's just a little checkup To make sure I'm more alive On the outside Than on the inside
0
Jun 17, 2015
Jun 17, 2015 at 10:26 PM UTC
Why I Cut
Start now knowing joy, that’s an order, overcome a deepening solitude. Like a bee at a bugle or me at the deli on Third Avenue. I said to Joe when do you think this weather will break? He jokes, April. That’s no joke. Weak creatures die and the strong barely survive. Half a year goes by another cancer checkup. Cheer up. Any weather’s better than no weather at all. There’s always governance even when there is no government. My candidate drops out after Iowa. Why do I always lose at politics and poker? Peace at last! No lawnmowers, no leafblowers. Big comfy couch. Meditate on this: Do what has to be done. Find your lover gazing at the moon and take your garbage to the dump. Your web site evaporates and your possessions are thrown in the dumpster except your trumpet which finds its way to a future trumpeter.
0
Jun 8, 2021
Jun 8, 2021 at 6:38 AM UTC
Start Knowing Joy
There’s a wasp in the house He snuck right on in But I’m all alone Wearing nothing but skin Buzzing and humming He moves lightning fast He’s angry I’m sure No need to ask He needs to be caught Or if not, then swatted I wish I had foresight Enough to have plotted An action and course For exactly this thing But it did not occur To me this morning Now I know you might say What about me But you see that just simply Won’t, and can’t be For I’m hunkered On down In the closet all snug There is no way in hell I’ll go near that **** bug So here I will stay With clothes all rolled up Wedged in the crack So the wasp can’t checkup I gather reserves Of brave that I’ve stashed And face this mean wasp No longer abashed I gave him a stern talking Told him what’s up then demanded he crawl In to my tea cup Walked back to the door And hear a loud “hey kid” Then slowly it dawned That I am still naked I held my head high As my skin flushed A wasp in a teacup A lady in the buff I released him unharmed Still on my task Then turned right around And smacked my own *** To all of the neighbors Staring at me I ended with the most Proper curtsy
0
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 1:08 AM UTC
Wasp
A reflection on birthdays, friends departing this world, and surveying ones life ~~~ this one poem is not lurking,(1) turmoiled bursting, shaking, quaking, release aching write it in droplets, my chest speak squeaks, each thought, a stanza, each moment, a bonanza of  the doled, muddled mix of tremblings on this my extravaganza, renaissance day of birth upon this earth sixty five calendars, this space, so gulf and so narrow, (2) for what profit this man for himself, others? a Judgement Day of sorts, where the man~poet is efficiently prosecutor, defender, judge and jury, as is he not, his one true peer? let his biases be betrayed, his fault lines be paraded, let his deeds be the unlawful legal coda by which he is remanded if found guilty of a ledger imbalanced, more sins than glory, only one sentence permitted, life imprisonment even the NYC weather clued in and deity cooperative, wakes me up to this advisory: Overcast. Slight chance of a rain shower. High near 65F. High near 65. what portent this oracle, a warning guide to this morass of a contradictory, crevassed man full of mea culpa poetic messes, his old is his high... or are these just winking, birthday instructions from an observer on high? this space of years, this life, so gulf and so narrow, engulfed, yet so sparse is his barrow, his first minutes of the day a lean inventory taking, for better or worse as he overcasts a full review, plus a bonus (!) a forward progress prognosis there is a fresh formed Cain mileage marker upon his brow, a check-mark scar, resultant of his self-checkup upon the tree rings of his tiring body weeping only because a mistrial is declared and no verdict returned and he rises for coffee, promising himself someday an honest resolution before... these the acts of sixty five calendars, of this, his-space, so gulf and so narrow, subjected to a now daily interrogatory: *for what profit this man, his actions, his loved words, for himself, to others, to this world?* October 1, 2015 ~~~ (1) http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1417203/there-is-a-poem-lurking/ ~~~ (2) *but I can't stop for each hour of the last 72 has witnessed a new poem in-between minute one and minute sixty five written for you, writing for life, writing of this moment,* this space so gulf and so narrow *in and between the unity of us* http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1413760/for-ernesto-l-gonzales-aka-the-dedpoet-the-in-between/ ~~~
0
Oct 2, 2015
Oct 2, 2015 at 5:09 PM UTC
this space, so gulf and so narrow
A reflection on birthdays, friends departing this world, and surveying ones life ~~~ this one poem is not lurking,(1) turmoiled bursting, shaking, quaking, release aching write it in droplets, my chest speak squeaks, each thought, a stanza, each moment, a bonanza of  the doled, muddled mix of tremblings on this my extravaganza, renaissance day of birth upon this earth sixty five calendars, this space, so gulf and so narrow, (2) for what profit this man for himself, others? a Judgement Day of sorts, where the man~poet is efficiently prosecutor, defender, judge and jury, as is he not, his one true peer? let his biases be betrayed, his fault lines be paraded, let his deeds be the unlawful legal coda by which he is remanded if found guilty of a ledger imbalanced, more sins than glory, only one sentence permitted, life imprisonment even the NYC weather clued in and deity cooperative, wakes me up to this advisory: Overcast. Slight chance of a rain shower. High near 65F. High near 65. what portent this oracle, a warning guide to this morass of a contradictory, crevassed man full of mea culpa poetic messes, his old is his high... or are these just winking, birthday instructions from an observer on high? this space of years, this life, so gulf and so narrow, engulfed, yet so sparse is his barrow, his first minutes of the day a lean inventory taking, for better or worse as he overcasts a full review, plus a bonus (!) a forward progress prognosis there is a fresh formed Cain mileage marker upon his brow, a check-mark scar, resultant of his self-checkup upon the tree rings of his tiring body weeping only because a mistrial is declared and no verdict returned and he rises for coffee, promising himself someday an honest resolution before... these the acts of sixty five calendars, of this, his-space, so gulf and so narrow, subjected to a now daily interrogatory: *for what profit this man, his actions, his loved words, for himself, to others, to this world?* October 1, 2015 ~~~ (1) http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1417203/there-is-a-poem-lurking/ ~~~ (2) *but I can't stop for each hour of the last 72 has witnessed a new poem in-between minute one and minute sixty five written for you, writing for life, writing of this moment,* this space so gulf and so narrow *in and between the unity of us* http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1413760/for-ernesto-l-gonzales-aka-the-dedpoet-the-in-between/ ~~~
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97
Packet of Time T'is the custom of some, To do their self-sums, Periodically, A self-review of What is seen When standing before the Mirror that cannot lie. Some like Xmas, while others Count their turkey feathers on January first. Others numerical ***** on The fifteenth of April, As required by the IRS. Others habit bound, Do a spring cleaning, Or an annualized medical checkup. Then there are the enviable few, Who never do Such an exercise, For being sure of one's rightness Precludes the necessity of having their **** probed, their status, already known. As I lie in bed at four am, Waking  after a four hour packet of rest, Began to wonder, what is the proper period That a person should time themselves out, Take a look back, do a "get back Jack," To find where they not once belonged, But where they should set the course heading. Here is where This poem gets Deadly Serious. One minute please! One on, one off. Did you just spend the minute prior, Setting your brain on fire, Scrub away the false pretenses, Or waste 60 of them on mindless telly? Day dream, plan and scheme, Outline the plan, man, Or curse your fate The one you, Nate, Created. Seems quite expensive, Spending half a life Thinking how to Spend the other half. But a **** worthwhile, Notion, likely to reduce Self- promotion. For after but a few such minutes, You will likely conclude, Better to think of others, Than yourself. Then you truly begin, The voyage human.
0
Sep 16, 2013
Sep 16, 2013 at 4:19 AM UTC
Packet of Time
Just a checkup and i’m feeling 30. i’m 30 minutes early and in a hospital that’s an eternity. So my restless eyes wander and my feet move till i step into the reflection of adulthood and youth. Separated by thin glass i stare with blood shot eyes at all the beautiful newborn babies!! “That was me, i was them, how could i have ever been that helpless?” In response to my question the lights flickered and there i was lying helplessly in the incubator! Mother earth looked at me through the glass, she more restless than i, bags under her eyes she said “that was me, i was them, could i have ever been that helpless?” Then darkness and i disappeared, mother earth was now **** naked helpless in the incubator. Through the glass God spoke with fire in His eyes“I Am”.
0
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 10:03 AM UTC
"Goo Goo Gaa Gaa"
Socks to Relieve Pain Coflex® Interlaminar “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Stabilization Menard’s Dedicated “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” To Service & Quality Leg Cramps at Night “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Brian Tracy International Bank “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Of America Merrill Edge Tyson “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Keep it Real Keep it Tyson Is This Sequence “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Correct? Luminosity Zenni Slide “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Belts American Red Cross Let Palmolive “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Handle the Mess Hole Leather Sandals Ad “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” By Revcontent Newchic AOL Computer “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Checkup Try it Free Fisher Investment “We’ll Try not to Show that Ad Again” Socks to Relieve Pain Coflex® Interlaminar “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Stabilization Menard’s Dedicated “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” To Service & Quality Leg Cramps at Night “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Brian Tracy International Bank “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Of America Merrill Edge Tyson “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Keep it Real Keep it Tyson Is This Sequence “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Correct? Luminosity Zenni Slide “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Belts American Red Cross Let Palmolive “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Handle the Mess Hole Leather Sandals Ad “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” By Revcontent Newchic AOL Computer “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Checkup Try it Free Fisher Investment “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Socks to Relieve Pain Coflex® Interlaminar “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Stabilization Menard’s Dedicated “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” To Service & Quality Leg Cramps at Night “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Brian Tracy International Bank “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Of America Merrill Edge Tyson “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Keep it Real Keep it Tyson Is This Sequence “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Correct? Luminosity Zenni Slide “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Belts American Red Cross Let Palmolive “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Handle the Mess Hole Leather Sandals Ad “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” By Revcontent Newchic AOL Computer “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Checkup Try it Free Fisher Investment “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again”
0
Jun 18, 2018
Jun 18, 2018 at 3:41 PM UTC
"We'll Try Not to Show That Ad Again"
Socks to Relieve Pain Coflex® Interlaminar “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Stabilization Menard’s Dedicated “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” To Service & Quality Leg Cramps at Night “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Brian Tracy International Bank “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Of America Merrill Edge Tyson “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Keep it Real Keep it Tyson Is This Sequence “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Correct? Luminosity Zenni Slide “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Belts American Red Cross Let Palmolive “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Handle the Mess Hole Leather Sandals Ad “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” By Revcontent Newchic AOL Computer “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Checkup Try it Free Fisher Investment “We’ll Try not to Show that Ad Again” Socks to Relieve Pain Coflex® Interlaminar “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Stabilization Menard’s Dedicated “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” To Service & Quality Leg Cramps at Night “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Brian Tracy International Bank “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Of America Merrill Edge Tyson “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Keep it Real Keep it Tyson Is This Sequence “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Correct? Luminosity Zenni Slide “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Belts American Red Cross Let Palmolive “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Handle the Mess Hole Leather Sandals Ad “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” By Revcontent Newchic AOL Computer “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Checkup Try it Free Fisher Investment “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Socks to Relieve Pain Coflex® Interlaminar “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Stabilization Menard’s Dedicated “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” To Service & Quality Leg Cramps at Night “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Brian Tracy International Bank “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Of America Merrill Edge Tyson “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Keep it Real Keep it Tyson Is This Sequence “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Correct? Luminosity Zenni Slide “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Belts American Red Cross Let Palmolive “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Handle the Mess Hole Leather Sandals Ad “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” By Revcontent Newchic AOL Computer “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” Checkup Try it Free Fisher Investment “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again” “We’ll Try Not to Show That Ad Again”
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69
I go to the doctors just for a checkup, she puts her hand on my chest to feel my heart. And at that moment i wonder if she can feel how its broken into a million pieces. I wonder if she can feel with each thump, another piece breaking off. I wonder if she can feel all the denial, all the workers in my brain trying to mend those pieces together, but then it all breaking apart again.
0
Nov 11, 2024
Nov 11, 2024 at 7:25 PM UTC
Doctor
We read a poem Sometimes understanding, sometimes not. If not, we think It must be sick. Something must be wrong with it. So we send it to the doctors office. For a checkup. To be poked And prodded. To make sure everything is right in its head. But our lack of understanding, And ability to broaden our minds Makes us in need Of a doctor. Perhaps a neurologist.
0
Jul 11, 2011
Jul 11, 2011 at 7:56 PM UTC
Dedicated to my teacher
these hard words are the only fruit my hard-rocked soiled-soul produces, my alliterations secrete no beliefs, quench nothing, the poems I don’t write are my most successful, the songs that comforted, now find no-entry orifice skin cold wet clammy sweating unsuitable for tilling, my horizons natural, felled, underground swallowed, replaced by the man-made barriers, guardrails of words leaving body, utterances shoutout, exiting non-permissioned lurch from one guilt-carrying, black leather-straps wrapped, round my arm, to the ones strapped around my temple, honorable acts owed, responsibilities fear foundering unfulfilled lists, griefs, signs of cowardice, badges shameful deep sighs, open groans, me mean asking questions of myself, laughed off, city noises turned off, silences of colorless colden, the sirens loudest inside reverb endlessly, still give nothing away, a final exam, an all sided, annual checkup reveals nothing but these hard words 7:48am 10/15/19
0
Oct 18, 2019
Oct 18, 2019 at 11:27 AM UTC
these hard words
Thanks for another day Others curse their luck, stale breath Eventually our enemy becomes our brother Cancer checkup, another swinging **** who fears his death To not necessarily sacrifice each and every day for another day I’m going to go to my grave unsung like almost everyone Numerous number systems beyond the real Look one way, from another come the heart’s missed beats One way out of the mind’s limitations is through another mind’s contemplations Another autumn, another election, so aimless and sublime The white egret ate fish after fish, one then another then another... You get a limited number of long walks, so take your time One gives up body and soul but that’s not what I came to talk about Slug the world and the world slugs back It was amusing in my youth that God’s finger could move me to another square Another duality, a day in the woods, jet passing overhead I am in favor of kindness and you prefer concentration camps The slow death of one sometimes makes the sudden ****** of another To survive only as many more years as there are petals on a randomly picked (ox-eye) daisy Another winter passing its calling card in at the window One day follows another until the last day and on that day there will be weather
0
May 7, 2025
May 7, 2025 at 5:58 AM UTC
If Not One Way, Then Another
I've reached a door after twenty-three years that I apparently can't walk into unless alone, as foolish as I always am.. I decided I'd never let go of my loved ones and lost that last piece of me behind that door and stayed here. Lost, confused as **** loved but not like I should be loved, communicating when I don't even believe in the word or the magic of that action, but at least with my loved ones.. Eh? Oh well, if any of you people are reading this behind the door, did I miss it? was it wrong that I quit it? I know it was a mistake, I knew it while I was walking the opposite direction from it as well. I said all the stupid things I'm supposed to say but only when it "felt right" well, nothing feels right. But at least I'm with my loved ones, yeah? I lay in bed in mornings and for hours at midnight, I walk the roads to everything alone my heart can't stop feeling this sort of unbearable feeling and I think it's trying to tell me something that I still can't figure out or most probably in complete denial about, I eat the food I'm supposed to eat, I hydrate, I walk as much as I can, I stopped listening to blues and only listened to what made my heart race, I've watched my cat give birth to the most beautiful six kittens ever existed, I sit with my mother until she's out of talks, I take long therapeutic baths and treat myself right.. from time to time.. but my heart is still feeling the same way, almost nothing but that feeling, and relates to nothing but that unbearable feeling. So.. I decided I'd try and talk to my loved ones, my darlings, my whole life which is the reason I chose them over myself and it goes like this: My sister, my guardian angel: "You should go have a full checkup." My best friend: "Same" My loved one: "..." And I knock the door Once Twice But I stand here alone hours in the morning, hours at night roaming all the roads staring at every wall built the sky, clouds and the sun alone but thinking about my loved ones
0
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 2:44 AM UTC
Where are we?
I've reached a door after twenty-three years that I apparently can't walk into unless alone, as foolish as I always am.. I decided I'd never let go of my loved ones and lost that last piece of me behind that door and stayed here. Lost, confused as **** loved but not like I should be loved, communicating when I don't even believe in the word or the magic of that action, but at least with my loved ones.. Eh? Oh well, if any of you people are reading this behind the door, did I miss it? was it wrong that I quit it? I know it was a mistake, I knew it while I was walking the opposite direction from it as well. I said all the stupid things I'm supposed to say but only when it "felt right" well, nothing feels right. But at least I'm with my loved ones, yeah? I lay in bed in mornings and for hours at midnight, I walk the roads to everything alone my heart can't stop feeling this sort of unbearable feeling and I think it's trying to tell me something that I still can't figure out or most probably in complete denial about, I eat the food I'm supposed to eat, I hydrate, I walk as much as I can, I stopped listening to blues and only listened to what made my heart race, I've watched my cat give birth to the most beautiful six kittens ever existed, I sit with my mother until she's out of talks, I take long therapeutic baths and treat myself right.. from time to time.. but my heart is still feeling the same way, almost nothing but that feeling, and relates to nothing but that unbearable feeling. So.. I decided I'd try and talk to my loved ones, my darlings, my whole life which is the reason I chose them over myself and it goes like this: My sister, my guardian angel: "You should go have a full checkup." My best friend: "Same" My loved one: "..." And I knock the door Once Twice But I stand here alone hours in the morning, hours at night roaming all the roads staring at every wall built the sky, clouds and the sun alone but thinking about my loved ones
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16
Sitting in the waiting room of a Children's Hospital Orange plastic church Of medicine There's a beautiful woman with a head scarf and a baby And you've disappeared behind a door So many appointments So many checkups For me at least I've only been in a hospital twice before - When my sister was having her babies I was only in the waiting room And now she's getting divorced Come out soon please But I could do this again I could do this as much as you needed I'll be there fire every appointment Every checkup Even if some day - It stops feeling like so many Come out soon please I hate that you're sick Even when you're healthy Surgery doesn't scare you - But if it really does, it's okay The baby is wearing a blue hat She's sweet Ours will be too Please come out soon Your dad and I are sitting on complete opposite sides of this couch I don't know if either of us will ever be used to one another I am still fond of him I'll hug him at our wedding And we'll give him grandchildren I don't mind that he's grumpy I just hope he likes me But please come out soon
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Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 7:23 PM UTC
come out soon
I was 18 Unfettered Fresh faced, eager World was mine Life of party Soul of clubbing And so I drank wine 25 Treated badly Blackened marriage Drew the line Parents shocked And disappointed And so I drank wine 32 Lost a baby Twisted heart strings No more chime Shadows fell Another heartbreak And so I drank wine 39 Working hard Breaking boundaries Nows my time To then discover I'm just a number And so I drank wine 42 Love of life came New beginnings Feeling fine But the habits Setting in now And so I drank wine 51 What can change Drinking daily Not a crime Till my doctor At a checkup Tells me straight Down the line One more drop You'll be gone Your glass empty Before your time And I wonder Do I care? And so I drank wine
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Aug 5, 2015
Aug 5, 2015 at 6:01 PM UTC
So I drank wine....
Then I woke up, From the sweet dream I've led. Mom's heart came to a stop. We went to a nearby bakeshop, Telling jokes while buying bread. Then I woke up. Never knew you needed a checkup. And now you went ahead. Mom's heart came to a stop. She complained about her makeup And I laughed about it instead Then I woke up. I thought you'd stay until we grew up. I still have so many things left unsaid. Mom's heart came to a stop. I could feel my tears drop Seeing you there on the hospital bed. Then I woke up, Mom's heart came to a stop.
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Sep 22, 2018
Sep 22, 2018 at 3:33 AM UTC
Memory of Mother
Sacrificed for national healing Head on a plate Checkup from the neck-up Mother, Mother, They're washing my brain again Implanting discs where wings should be Put a gun in my right hand Left me with a pill Their quick and ***** **** Cleans you out so slowly What a wrong sensation For their righteous slay Gained a middle name And no more summer rain Will hit my roof again Fell for their cruel nature Sprung from lack of nurture People never notice anything And I'm caught in the rye Live in the moment Do what you please One might destroy you But a worse disease Is strapping the harness And losing the keys
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Nov 25, 2011
Nov 25, 2011 at 10:21 PM UTC
Sympathy for the Assassin
My scars are quite visible today. So is my main artery. It scares me that I constantly wonder What it would be like to Push a blade far enough To the point of no return. Would they be able to save me? Would I even let them do so? Why would I want this? I am not sure, to be honest. I shouldn't do self-diagnosis but I honestly believe I am quite crazy. I believe I have social anxiety and seasonal depression as well as PTSD. Maybe I should go get a checkup Before I end up making my ****** dream come true.
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Apr 9, 2014
Apr 9, 2014 at 3:42 PM UTC
****** daydreams
Isn't it crazy how one decision can change everything forever? Like having that extra test at the doctor. Who knew an endoscopy could be the difference between life and death? No one was expecting anything to happen. Just routine checkup. This would be everything but routine. A tiny little cancerous polyp cost half an esophagus plus part of a stomach and spleen. Years of recovery, sleepless nights. Feeding tubes, coughing fits, at home nurses. Building up strength just to walk into his own home for the first time in weeks. That tiny cancer would've spread. On this day, we could've been mourning instead of celebrating. Cancer took a hell of a lot from us, but look what it gave us. My dad turned 48 today. Without surgery, I wouldn't get the privilege of spending this birthday and many more with my dad.
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Jan 3, 2015
Jan 3, 2015 at 1:55 PM UTC
Happy Birthday to my Dad
Facebook conspires, Digital narcissism  .  .  .   .  .  .  Mobile devices.
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Mar 30, 2014
Mar 30, 2014 at 11:20 PM UTC
Zx Haiku ( checkup )