It's been awhile since I picked up my pen and paper; Get to know her before you start to hate her.
These other girls shakin and scared cause they dont wanna meet her Wishing they could be golden and beat her Put some quarters in the meter Kitty stay tucked in like a bed and breakfast Gotta make sure your intentions right before you get it Send me a letter, hit my line, might invite you to come get high: Get you so zoned you start to see the digits. 666, name me the beast, late night feels in your sheets Because once you get me started I'll have you risin like yeast Get a checkup, you gettin messed up, your ph balance awfully low Yall ******* wondering why you below me, it's because I ain't a ***.
I tell my friend that I’m a night owl And by that, I mean, if given the choice, I would sleep at 5am only to wake promptly 8 hours later with the sun half past up She asks me why I tell her it’s quiet The only life found at intersections are traffic lights changing from green to yellow to red to back to green The sky does not house two winged visitors with propellers louder than my ceiling fan The birds don’t sing their songs of judgment and jealousy for those who scream misguided lyrics The sun doesn’t radiate with resentment as her light exposes what should never be seen My phone is not begging to be checked every 5 minutes as if there is a new unwanted notification No one demands anything of me, no one worries about me, and no one disappoints me And as the sun and moon keep spinning, although my mind is spinning faster and louder than ever, at least everything else is quiet
Here we are. Again... Isn't it ironic? The sleepless nights followed by questions that ponder my mind... Is it possible, That the people that come into our lives are destined to leave, only to prepare us for someone better? What if it's all planned out? And we are just actors in a movie called Life?
5 am and my mind is running wild Since a youth I've felt like a demon child Never really understood how life worked But I know pain and how bad it can hurt 11 hour days at my job She mad at me because I get no days off She's feels neglected This is unexpected I'm working to fix myself But I keep her out when she wants to help I remember 15 years old selling drugs My past memories beginning to bug But I can't seem to let them go Where I'm going in life I just don't know But I do know I'm not where I once was Miles away but people I still don't trust If I could I'd give you the world Please just wait, I'll let you in, be my girl I put up a front at the start Because I was afraid to let you see my heart I'm just trying to figure out who I am I'm just trying to figure out where I stand Because in this life you'll get lost And people will forget you and you'll get tossed I never had someone to believe in me So I was blind to the different opportunities But girl believe me you're the only one I see **** these other girls, you're the one I want it to be But tell me am I just convenient to you? Am I just a toy for you? What do you feel for me? I want to hear what's true I feel like your just playing But what you really feel you're not saying And if you don't talk I'm not staying Don't worry you won't see me crying I'm losing my mind I need some kind of sign I know you're worth it But I feel like we ain't workin
I hope you know that I always cheer you on from afar and always hope you're happy, look out my window saying good morning to you when I wake up, saying good night before I fall asleep, look at the horizon every sunset and pretend I'm talking to you after having a bad day. As if you're still here, as if you never left. Thinking only our bodies are apart but not our hearts, not our souls. Wondering if you feel it when you're out there and I'm here loving you with every bit of me that I am able to Wondering if you see my face in heaven as often as I see your face here on earth everywhere I look I hope you find joy, happiness, and whatever it is in life that you seek. Even if that life you'll find is a life without me.