She wears her pain
Like an invisible cloak
You will never see it.
Except for in her eyes.
They are blue.

My heart is beating
My heart is pleading
To be saved
It's going bad
It's going mad
It needs help now
Before it stops making a sound
It's yelling and yelling
It's swelling and swelling
But when it screams,
No one ever hears
They are just standing there
They just stare
It's breaking and breaking
Everything's shaking
I feel a sharp pain
Something that feels like a chain
Suffocating me
It rips through my soul
It's making holes
Then it gets to my heart
And tears it apart
Then it crumbles
And tumbles
Down a dark hole
I lose myself
And I am forced to live in the shadow
Of someone else.

Can't run from it
Always a step behind
The worst is i'm trapped
In my own mind

The end is near
I can't keep trying
Stop asking if i'm okay
I'm tired of lying

My fake smile is getting heavy
Eyes can’t hold back
My mind has won
Done living in the black

Going through the motions
It’s almost time to quit
Most fear death
But I pray for it.

Tinkerbell has always been there for Peter.
And Peter..?
He chose Wendy.

I'm falling
Slowly
Falling
Into a deep black space
Nothing there
No one cares
That i'm
Falling
Dying
Inside
I smile
It pains me
I can't speak
I can't
It hurts
So silent's
My last resort.

SSBjYW4gZmVlbCB0aGUgdGVuZGVybmVz cyBvZiBoZXIgc2tpbiB0aHJvdWdoIHRo ZSBrbmlmZSwgYXMgaWYgaXQgd2VyZSBh biBleHRlbnNpb24gb2YgbXkgc2Vuc2Ug b2YgdG91Y2guIE15IGJvZHkgbmVhcmx5 IGNvbnZ1bHNlcy4gVGhlcmUncyBzb21l dGhpbmcgaW5jcmVkaWJseSBmYWludCwg ZGVlcCBkb3duLCB0aGF0IHNjcmVhbXMg dG8gcmVzaXN0IHRoaXMgdW5jb250cm9s bGFibGUgcGxlYXN1cmUuIEJ1dCBJIGNh biBhbHJlYWR5IHRlbGwgdGhhdCBJJ20g YmVpbmcgcHVzaGVkIG92ZXIgdGhlIGVk Z2UuIEkgY2FuJ3QuLi5JIGNhbid0IHN0 b3AgbXlzZWxmLg==

A special person,
A special face,
Someone I love,
And can never be replaced.

You know what I heard about Amy?
Amy likes spiders.
Icky, wriggly, hairy, ugly spiders!
That's why I'm not friends with her.
Amy has a cute singing voice.
I heard her singing my favorite love song.
Every time she sang the chorus, my heart would pound to the rhythm of the words.
But she likes spiders.
That's why I'm not friends with her.
One time, I hurt my leg really bad.
Amy helped me up and took me to the nurse.
I tried not to let her touch me.
She likes spiders, so her hands are probably gross.
That's why I'm not friends with her.
Amy has a lot of friends.
I always see her talking to people.
She probably talks about spiders.
What if her friends start to like spiders too?
That's why I'm not friends with her.
It doesn't matter if she has other hobbies.
It doesn't matter if she keeps it private.
It doesn't matter if it doesn't hurt anyone.
It's gross.
She's gross.
The world is better off without spider lovers.
And I'm gonna tell everyone.

Hangman is a great game.

It teaches us that saying the wrong things could end someone's life.

When cancer takes a life, we blame cancer

Depression is a disease.

Don't blame the victim for losing the fight.

It's okay to be white
It's okay to be black
It's okay to be Asian
It's okay to be Hispanic
It's okay to be female
It's okay to be male
It's okay to be gay
It's okay to be straight
It's okay to be YOU.

What's NOT okay is skipping a track on The Black Parade.

An old tale tells of a lady who wanders Earth.
The Lady who Knows Everything.
A beautiful lady who has found every answer,
All meaning,
All purpose,
And all that was ever sought.

And here I am,

a feather

Lost adrift the sky, victim of the currents of the wind.

Day after day, I search.
I search with little hope, knowing legends don't exist.
But when all else has failed me,
When all others have turned away,
The legend is all that remains – the last dim star glimmering in the twilit sky.

Until one day, the wind ceases to blow.
I fall.
And I fall and fall, and fall even more.
Gentle as a feather.
A dry quill, expressionless.

But a hand catches me, between the thumb and forefinger.
The hand of a beautiful lady.
I look at her eyes and find no end to her gaze.

The Lady who Knows Everything knows what I am thinking.
Before I can speak, she responds in a hollow voice.
"I have found every answer, all of which amount to nothing.
There is no meaning.
There is no purpose.
And we seek only the impossible.
I am not your legend.
Your legend does not exist."

And with a breath, she blows me back afloat, and I pick up a gust of wind.

She protecc
She attacc
But most importantly...

Her neck go CRACC.

Welcome to society,
We hope you enjoy your stay.
And please feel free to be yourself,
As long as it's in the right way.
Make sure you love your body,
Not too much or we'll tear you down.
We'll bully you for smiling.
And then wonder why you frown.
We'll tell you that you're worthless,
That you shouldn't make a sound.
And then cry with all the others,
As you're buried in the ground.
You can fall in love with anyone,
As long as it's who we choose.
And we'll let you have your opinions,
But please shape them to our views.
Welcome to society,
We promise that we wont deceive.
And one more rule now that you're here,
There's no way you can leave.

I feel like Billie is HEAVILY inspired by MCR and Frank Iero.
Examples:

Stomachaches = Album by Frank Iero
Bellyache = Song by Billie Eilish

"I'm Not Okay" = Lyrics/Song by MCR
"I'm not okay" = Lyrics from the song 'Listen Before I Go' by Billie Eilish

"I'm Okay" = Lyrics from the song 'I'm Not Okay' by MCR
"I'm Okay" = Lyrics from 'You Should See Me In A Crown' by Billie Eilish

Six Feet Down Under = Song by Frank Iero
Six Feet Under = Song by Billie Eilish

Don't you think so too?

February 22nd 2022 (2/22/2022) falls on a Tuesday so we'll be able to call it 2's day and that's really the only thing keeping me going.

Just as I was about to take my shoes, off of the rooftop there I see, A girl with braided hair there before me. Despite myself I go and scream, "Hey! Don't do it please!" Woah wait a minute, what did I just say? I couldn't care less either way. To be honest, I was some what ******. This was an opportunity missed. The girl with braided hair told me her woes. You've probably heard it all before. "I really thought that he might be the one, but then he told me he was done." For God's sakes please! Are you serious? I just can't believe that for some stupid reason you got here before me! Are you upset cause you can't have what you wanted? You're lucky that you've never gotten robbed of anything! "I'm feeling better, thank you for listening." The girl with braided hair then disappeared.

"Alright today's the day!" Or so I thought. Just as I took both of my shoes off, there was but a girl short as can be. Despite myself I go and scream. The petite girl told me her woes. You've probably heard it all before. "Everyone ignores me, everyone steals. I don't fit in with anyone here." For God's sakes please! Are you serious? I just can't believe that for some stupid reason you got here before me! Cause even so, you're still loved by everyone at home. There's always dinner waiting at the the table you know! "I'm hungry." Said the girl, she shed a tear. The girl short as can be then disappeared.

And like that, there was someone everyday. I listened to their tales, I made them turn away. But yet there was no one who would do this for me, no way I could let out all this pain....

For the very first time there I see, someone with the same pains as me. Having done this time and time again, she wore a yellow cardigan. "I just wanna stop the scars that grow every time that I go home. That's why I came up here instead." That's what the girl in the cardigan said. Woah wait a minute, what did I just say? I couldn't care less either way. But in the moment I just screamed something that I did not believe. "Hey! Don't do it please!" What to do?! I can't stop this girl, oh this is new! For once I think I've bitten off more than I can chew! But even so, please just go away so I can't see, your pitiful expression is just too much for me! "I guess today is just not my day." She looked away from me and then she disappeared.

There's no one here today, I guess it's time. It's just me, myself, and I. There's no one who can interfere. No one to get in my way here. Taking off my yellow cardigan, watching my braids all come undone, this petite girl short as can be, is gonna jump now and be free.

The tendrils of my hair illuminate beneath the amber glow.
Bathing.
In the distance, a blue-green light flickers.
A lone figure crosses its path– a silhouette obstructing the eerie glow.
My heart pounds. The silhouette grows. Closer Closer
I open my umbrella, casting a shadow to shield me from visibility.
But I am too late.
He steps into the streetlight. I gasp and drop my umbrella.
The light flickers. My heart pounds. He raises his arm.

Time stops.

The only indication of movement is the amber light flickering against his outstretched
arm.
The flickering light is in rhythm with the pounding of my heart.
Teasing me for succumbing to this forbidden emotion.
Have you ever heard of a ghost feeling warmth before?
Giving up on understanding, I laugh.
Understanding is overrated.
I touch his hand. The flickering stops.
Ghosts are blue-green. My heart is amber.

I don't know how else to bring this up. But there's been something I've been worried about. Yuri has been acting kind of strange lately. You've only been here a few days, so you may not know what I mean. But she's not normally like this. She's always been quiet and polite and attentive...things like that.

Okay... This is really embarrassing, but I'm forcing myself to **** it up. The truth is, I'm REALLY worried about her. But if I try talking to her, she'll just get mad at me again. I don't know what to do. I think you're the only person that she'll listen to. I don't know why. But please try to do something. Maybe you can convince her to talk to a therapist.

I've always wanted to try being better friends with Yuri, and it really hurts me to see this happening. I know I'm going to hate myself later for admitting that, but right now I don't care. I just feel so helpless. So please see if you can do something to help. I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I'll make you cupcakes if I have to. Just please try to do something. As for Monika... I don't know why, but she's been really dismissive about this. It's like she just wants us to ignore it. So I'm mad at her right now, and that's why I'm coming to you about this. DON'T LET HER KNOW I WROTE THIS!!!! Just pretend like I gave you a really good poem, okay? I'm counting on you. Thanks for reading

Me: Has tons of favorite songs
Person: "Whats your favorite song?"
Me: Forgets every song I have ever heard

Sometimes holding on
Does more damage
Than letting go.

F is for Fall Out Boy, who saved rock and roll.
U is for Brendon Urie
N is for NO DONT MENTION MCR!
      
Here in our emo community.

Cooking turns into a workout
Because I have to climb the counters.

I pop off my scalp like the lid of a cookie jar.
It's the secret place where I keep all my dreams.
Little ***** of sunshine, all rubbing together like a bundle of kittens
I reach inside with my thumb and forefinger and pluck one out.
It's warm and tingly.
But there's no time to waste! I put it in a bottle to keep it safe.
And I put the bottle on the shelf with all of the other bottles.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts in bottles, all in a row.

My collection makes me lots of friends.
Each bottle a starlight to make amends.
Sometimes my friend feels a certain way.
Down comes a bottle to save the day.

Night after night, more dreams.
Friend after friend, more bottles.
Deeper and deeper my fingers go.
Like exploring a dark cave, discovering the secrets hiding in the nooks and crannies.
Digging and digging.
Scraping and scraping.

I blow dust off my bottle caps.
It doesn't feel like time elapsed.
My empty shelf could use some more.
My friends look through my locked front door.

Finally, all done. I open up, and in come my friends.
In they come, in such a hurry. Do they want my bottles that much?
I frantically pull them from the shelf, one after the other.
Holding them out to each and every friend.
Each and every bottle.
But every time I let one go, it shatters against the tile between my feet.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts in shards, all over the floor.

They were supposed to be for my friends, my friends who aren't smiling.
They're all shouting, pleading. Something.
But all I hear is echo, echo, echo, echo, echo
Inside my head.

My love for you is uncontrollable.
My feelings for you are unstoppable.
Can’t go a day without thinking about you.
Without you, i’m not complete.
When I was with you, my heart found it’s beat.

My heart was filled with joy because of your love.
You were my strength,and since I’m without you, I’m weak.
Before you came into my life I was... hopeless,lonely,sad.
When you showed up I knew you were sent to me.
You were there to cheer me up. You still are. Even if it may not seem like it.

Your smile still makes me shy,
And sometimes I wonder where you have been all this while,
But I’m just glad I managed to get you in my life... even if you don’t want to be in it....
                                    YOU USED TO FILL MY HEART WITH JOY!

My breathing is shallow
The air is too thin.
The demons are screaming
I think they might win.

My vision is blurry
My heart rate is slow.
No therapy can help me,
I think i'm letting go.

He touched me
And it felt
As if
The stars were dancing
Across my skin

Would any body like to adopt my grades?
Cuz I can't raise them myself.

Pen in hand, I find my strength.
The courage endowed upon me by my one and only love.
Together, let us dismantle this crumbling world
And write a novel of our own fantasies.

With a flick of her pen, the lost finds her way.
In a world of infinite choices, behold this special day.

After all,
Not all good times must come to an end

If someone
Does not want me,
It's not the end of the world.
But
If I do not want me,
The world is nothing but ending.

Yes, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
But you know what else is in the sea?
Trash.
There is plenty of trash in the sea.

Best friends will stick together until the end.
They are like a straight line that will never bend.

You pull me by my hair so I don't go nowhere
Tell me you love me, but you treat me like I'm never there
You say the cruelest words, you used to break my heart
'Cause I'm over here working my *** off
Why is it so hard to see? (Why?)
If I cut myself, I would bleed (**** me)
I'm just like you, you're like me
Imperfect and human, are we?
Show and tell
I'm on display for all you ******* to see
Show and tell
Harsh words if you don't get a pic with me
Buy and sell (buy and sell me, baby)
Like I'm a product to society
Art don't sell
Unless you ****** every authority
You beg and cry for more, he had 'em on the floor
There are strangers takin' pictures of me when I ask "No more"
It's really hard for me to say just how I feel
I'm scared that I'll get thrown away like a banana peel
Why is it so hard to see? (Why?)
If I cut myself, I would bleed (**** me)
I'm just like you, you're like me
Imperfect and human, are we?
Show and tell (show and tell)
I'm on display for all you ******* to see (******* to see)
Show and tell (show and tell)
Harsh words if you don't get a pic with me
Buy and sell (buy and sell)
Like I'm a product to society
Art don't sell
Unless you ****** every authority
Show and tell
Why can't you ******* hear me?
Show and tell, um
Are you listening yet?
Show and tell (show and tell, baby)
I'm on display for all you ******* to see (******* to see)
Show and tell (oh)
Harsh words if you don't get a pic with me
Buy and sell
Like I'm a product to society
Art don't sell
Unless you ****** every authority

Sayori: Hey, hey, my heart's beating when i'm hanging out with you!
Why does my heart break when I hear you feel the same way too? (heh heh)

Natsuki: Just like a sundae, it's sweet every time I teach you something new. Is this by chance, or fate whenever it's just me and you? (Don't get the wrong idea!!!)

Yuri: when we touch, it'll never be enough...

Sayori: Is it way too much? If you had to choose just one of us?

Natsuki: Tell me, tell me please! Is this what I think or is it just me?  Don't wake me up from this sweet little dream, where we'll be together forever, we're never gonna be apart!

Sayori: Will it be okay, if I express my love for you this way? No matter what you do or what you say, we'll be together forever, we're never gonna be apart!

Monika: We're never gonna be apart....

Yuri: Hey, hey, when i'm next to you I don't know what to do.... Why does it feel so great when our eyes meet out of the blue?  (I...I'm sorry! I said too much!!)

Sayori: I really love....

Monika: The way you write even when you don't have a clue. I want to hear you say, this love that I am feeling is true!

Natsuki: Tasty love, something I want more of,

Yuri: Will it make the cut, if you had to choose just one of us?

Monika: Shall I leave you be? Is it love if I can't set you free? But even if it's not reality, let's be together forever, we're never gonna be apart!

Yuri: How can I convey, my love for you before it flies away? I think about it all day, every day!

Monika: We'll be together forever, we're never gonna be apart!

Monika: One by one they only fall apart, can it be undone? Why can't I just be the one for once?!

Sayori: We'll be together forever, we're never gonna be apart!

Monika: Maybe we'll never be together, but forever you'll be in my heart.....

I can feel the tenderness of her skin through the knife, as if it were an extension of my sense of touch. My body nearly convulses. There's something incredibly faint, deep down, that screams to resist this uncontrollable pleasure. But I can already tell that I'm being pushed over the edge. I can't...I can't stop myself.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Your blood is red,
So mine is too.

A new scientific study shows that fertility is hereditary.
If your parents didn't have any children,
Then chances are you won't either.

A pool of blood is all it takes
For someone to realize they made a mistake

Am I a person...
...or am I just a bunch of MCR lyrics glued together...??

"Let's play hide and seek."
She said,
"You count and i'll hide."
So I counted to ten
And off I ran
In search of my little friend
Maybe behind the wall?
Or inside the slide?
My little friend
Sure knows how to hide.
I scratched my head,
And thought again,
Where is my little friend?
Under the big tree!
That's where she must be.
Surely, there I found
Under the tree without a sound
There she floated
High above the ground.
A necklace of pain
Hugging her throat.
What happened to my little friend?
The girl I used to know.
The happy girl she disguised to be.
Why, my little friend?
Why have you hidden your pain from me?
All her life was but a game.
A tormented game of
Hide and Go Seek.
She searched and searched
But she never found herself.
Now lost she will be
For all eternity.
Oh, my little friend,
If only I would have known!
You would not have been alone.
I would have searched,
And you would have been found.
Now I watch
As my little friend
Is lowered to the ground.

One minute, I was flying free through the air.

The next, I came crashing down into cold, unforgiving concrete.

As I lay dying, I tried to move my now useless appendages, but all that came out was a pathetic twitching. Panic and pain was my world. In the distance, the mountains I watched began to turn, turn in the snow.

I could feel my heart race as this thing, this titan turned around and stared down at me through its immensely black hood. I could feel its gaze meet mine somehow, through that emptiness, as it leaned in towards me.

Suddenly, the prospect of dying didn't seem so bad.

A familiar sense of longing and comfortability began to wash over me as my mind faded to nothing...

-----------------------------------------------------­------------------------------------

As I watched the bird die, its little wings flapping, I felt tears stream down my face.

"Oh no, oh just sleep little one, I'm so sorry, so sorry..."

What was I apologizing for? I didn't do this.

And it occurred to me how much I must have looked like death to this little creature, with my large hood blackening my face and my large, slender-fingered hand coming towards it, ready to embrace it and pull it towards its ultimate end, and I thought about how it may have seen the countless stars reflected in that great endless pool, somewhat like eyes...

We call ships 'she'.
We call our war machines 'women'.
We compare women to black widows and vipers.
And you're going to tell me it's not "lady-like"
To scream, to take up space,
To fight and demand respect
And do whatever the hell I want.
You've looked at nuclear bombs
And have been so in awe,
That you could only name them after women.
Don't try to downplay my power.

All the makeup in the world
Won't make you feel
Less INSECURE.

Monkeys can climb
Crickets can leap
Horses can race
Owls can seek
Cheetahs can run
Eagles can fly
People can try
But that's about it

Love is when you're missing some of your teeth
But you're not afraid to smile.
Because you know your friends will still love you
Even though some of you is missing.

You think you're smarter
Than me, with
All your bad poetry

The colors red, white, and blue all mean the word freedom...until you see them flashing behind you.

The colors, they won't stop.
Bright, beautiful colors
Flashing, expanding, piercing
Red, green, blue
An endless
cacophony
Of meaningless
noise

The noise, it won't stop.
Violent, grating waveforms
Squeaking, screeching, piercing
Sine, cosine, tangent
Like playing a chalkboard on a turntable
Like playing a vinyl on a pizza crust
An endless
poem
Of meaningless

Load Me

"In other words, keep your bad vibes out of my cornflakes I'm not interested."

                   -Gerard Way

What if I told you
I want to die?
That i’m tired of living,
Of being alive?

What if I told you
It gets worse at night?
The thoughts get louder,
And nothing is right?

What if I died?
Would you even cry?
Would you even care?
If I took my own life?