BE McComb Oct 2016

scared is not
a good enough
word for how
i'm feeling

peeking through
a crack in the
curtain of who
i am as a person

(like a dumb
teenage boy
hoping to see
some girl's skin)


and being
surprised to find
the lights on and
no one home

(not that i should
find that surprising
when i haven't seen
myself around town)


like i moved onto
the back porch of
a stranger and never
went back home

(sleeping in the weather
and knowing that i've
chosen to be homeless
in pursuit of a feeling)


trapped in a
small town
by small mentalities
of who i should be

getting drunk and
laid while wishing
i was burning trash
alone in the woods

(the long
and short
of it is
i lost myself
or that i never really
had myself at all)


we hold onto
things and places
people and faces
that feel like home
even if we don't love them
even if they don't love us
because we want security
while growing up


(can't shake the memories
from dresses hanging
in the backs of closets
clinging like that knockoff
pink perfume that took
last shreds of innocence)


and i'm scared
i'm fucking scared
of being
okay

because i've  hung
onto my sadness
like i hung onto
an old hoodie

(walked hand in
hand with darkness
the only thing i've
always had to fall on)


and now i'm standing
tapping on the window
trying to figure out if
the person i'm looking
for is hiding behind the
stacked moving boxes
if they were ever here
in the first place

i don't see her
but i have to find her
and i can't escape
i can only drag
myself up with a
questionable safety harness
determination and
broken fingernails

this is ativan up
not ativan out

Copyright 10/11/16 by B. E. McComb
heavily inspired by the album Under The Cork Tree by Fall Out Boy and what's rattling around in my head tonight.
BE McComb Aug 2016

i wish i could turn
you into a liquid
something
softer than water
stronger than coffee
sweeter than lemonade
more sincere
than blood

i would bathe in it
watch it stain my skin
and stick under my nails
as it washed away my fears

i would water all my
houseplants with it
they would grow to the ceiling
turning sunset colors

i would drink it
the same way i drink
the summer rain when
it blows onto the porch

i would use it as an
all-purpose cleaner
acidic as vinegar and so
much better at polishing counters

if only
i could turn you
into a liquid
maybe i wouldn't
be quite so
dehydrated this summer

or maybe i would
just be slowly
poisoning myself
from the inside out.

Copyright 7/2/16 by B. E. McComb
BE McComb Aug 2016

fall out boy is always
in season
rain or shine
sweat or tears

i honestly get
tired of having
problems but
doesn't everyone?

i'm escaping
stumbling into some
false reality on the other
side of my mind's eye

sometimes i get to thinking
about alcohol and
cigarettes and i get scared
for who i'll turn into someday

and sometimes
when i can't sleep i play
what a catch donnie
on repeat until i cry

"said i'll be fine
til the hospital or
american embassy"
gets me every time

leaves an actual pain
in my stomach
the ache of something
i want more than anything

to die
or leave
to no longer be
choked

convulsing on the
scratched wooden floor
legs twitching and
forehead sweating

i can't breathe
and it's not just
the humidity
it's the thoughts

it's the scars that are
too new to talk about
and the ones
too old to care about

eyelashes are
scraping irises
hands are
always sticky

how pain
is normalized
and anxiety
just happens.

the song is over
play it again
shuffle and repeat
until sleep

i should have stayed home
i always should stay home
but i don't like
home anymore

i never did like home
and it's mostly because of
who i find there
when i'm all alone.

Copyright 6/28/16 by B. E. McComb

In the
Middle of the

Night, in the darkest hour,
Outside in the streets; you'll find
The ghosts all around.

Are you afraid? Don't run
From them, they feed on fear.
Ready to fight the fight, I scream "I'm Not
Afraid!! of no ghosts!"
In the middle of the night I wake up from a
Dream--a crazy, weird, wild dream. :)

Title from Fall Out Boy's/Missy Elliot's "I'm Not Afraid (Ghostbusters)
I wrote it during a meeting, and it just kinda came to me.
Write on.
McNally/Flanders, Inc.
©7/2016

Welcome to the tour, welcome to our family!
In the middle of the concert, in this moment,
Nobody can take this feeling away,
This feeling is ours and forever
Ours!! When we hear Patrick singing to
Us, Pete screaming, Joe giving us lovely guitar
Riffs, and Andy's sick drum beats!
This is our moment, our family  this is ours!

©6/2016 McNally/Flanders, Inc.
Written using Fall Out Boy's last tour name, and about the feeling you get when you see your favorite band. <3 No can take it away from you.

Beginning of the end is the start
Of something new;
You have the choice to be your true
Self. Don't be afraid to speak your mind!

Only you are in charge of your own destiny;
Faith---No one can tell you how to live your life.

Zoology- "Cryptozoology, you just might exist";
Understanding that everything has a
Meaning and we all have a purpose.
Moments that we should not miss,
Everyone is equal and everyone is worth it.
Reminder: Just be you and be kind, the rest follows!

©McNally/Flanders, Inc.
05/2016
Written after watching 3 episodes of Person Of Interest and quote from Patrick Stump's "Cryptozoology" song. Title- the best tour ever; Fall Out Boy, Hoodie Allen, MAX!
B P Mar 2016

1.
Drum beats
pound loudly
replacing your heart beat
in your chest
reaching deep within you
igniting fires and vibrations and causing earthquakes
deep within

2.
lyrics
profound and loud
thousands of voices
singing the same words together
the words we all have imprinted
in our hearts
find a home in this crowd
the words finally flowing
free and loud and passionate

3.
sound
filling you up
every pore, every hole,
no space left for anything else
you are this moment
there is no other time
it is simply now
and it is simply loud
and you are the music
body moving in tune
sound moving through you

4.
music
is everything
this moment
is everything
nothing else matters
everything is okay
everything is pure and lovely and right again
you fit in
there is a home for you
and for everyone like you
in this music
it does not matter you are strangers
you are all one in the same
and this concert is a home for everyone

Written in the middle of a Fall Out Boy concert, when I felt at peace with myself for the first time in a long time. I realized the people around me are my family, even if the songs mean something entirely different to them, and concerts are my true home.

Back to the beginning
And back to the start. Let's
Change our future and raise our
Kids right!

Time to stop robbing banks and
Others; stop being racist, sexist, or whatever

Everyone--STOP! We are the same,
All on the inside. Doesn't
Really matter the color, sex, who we love- we are all
The same-human beings-mammals-
Hope that helps-if not, we are like M&Ms; fighting over your favorite color only to realize they're all chocolate on the inside.

Inspired by and song title from Steve Aoki and Fall Out Boy!
I can't remember where I heard the M&M;'s comparison but it was from a celebrity.
©McNally, Inc.
9/5/2015

This is our time
When we take control!
In this moment, we control our future
No one can tell us what to do!

Spread positive thoughts and
Kindness to everyone and with
Each new day with a
Little love, maybe our world will be better.
Each child is our future, we need
To teach them how to love and show
Others love too! We're all in this together.
No one is truly alone!
Stop the violence!
-----------------------------------------
Holding onto hope that
One day, our children can change
The world!
Each day, we get a
Little closer to a better future.

I hope our children can fix our mistakes,
Not repeating our history, we're already done that!

Now is the time to raise the
Youth right and
Change for the better!

Inspired by and title from Fall Out Boy.
This was a 2 in 1 poem.
©McNally, Inc.
9/5/2015

Underneath this full
Moon I sit
And watch

These people come and go.
Hoping that one day we can have peace,
Understanding, and love again.
Right now this world needs help, a
Miracle---something to bring us back to
A time when we cared about our
Neighbors and each other. Someday.

Inspired by and song title from Fall Out Boy. Thanks to Uma Thurman, she's awesome!
©McNally, Inc.
9/5/2015
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