It hurts the most
When the person
That made you feel wanted yesterday
Made you feel so unwanted today.

It happened in the dead of night while I was slicing bread for a guilty snack.
My attention was caught by the scuttering of a raccoon outside my window.
That was, I believe, the first time I noticed my strange tendencies as an unusual
human.
I gave the raccoon a piece of bread, my subconscious well aware of the consequences.
Well aware that a raccoon that is fed will always come back for more.
The enticing beauty of my cutting knife was the symptom.
The bread, my hungry curiosity.
The raccoon, an urge.

The moon increments its phase and reflects that much more light off of my cutting
knife.
The very same light that glistens in the eyes of my raccoon friend.
I slice the bread, fresh and soft. The raccoon becomes excited.
or perhaps I'm merely projecting my emotions onto the newly-satisfied animal.

The raccoon has taken to following me.
You could say that we've gotten quite used to each other.
The raccoon becomes hungry more and more frequently, so my bread is always handy.
Every time I brandish my cutting knife the raccoon shows me its excitement.
A rush of blood. Classic Pavlovian conditioning. I slice the bread.
And I feed myself again.

Normal people kissing:
Sensual
Butterflies in your stomach
You're the only two people in the world

People with glasses kissing:
Clink
Clank
Ok let's take them off
Wait, where'd you go?
You feel cold
Oh, that's a lamp.

millennial generation got a little beaten down and miserable.
But i'm glad to see gen z frothing at the mouth and out for blood.

The tendrils of my hair illuminate beneath the amber glow.
Bathing.
It must be this one.
The last remaining streetlight to have withstood the test of time.
The last yet to be replaced by the sickening blue-green of the future.
I bathe. Calm; breathing air of the present but living in the past.
The light flickers.
I flicker back.

Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of
Get.
Out.
Of.
My.
Head.


Get out of my head before I do what I know is best for you.
Get out of my head before I listen to everything she said to me.
Get out of my head before I show you how much I love you.
Get out of my head before I finish writing this poem.



But a poem is never actually finished.
It just stops moving.

Imagine if men were more disgusted with **** as much as they are with periods.

Have you ever thought
That maybe paper cuts
Are a tree's last revenge?

Tree: You cut us down, we cut you up.

A marvel millions of years in the making.
Where the womb of Earth chaotically meets the surface.
Under a clear blue sky, an expanse of bliss -
But beneath gray rolling clouds, an endless enigma.
The easiest world to get lost in
is one where everything can be found.

One can only build a sand castle where the sand is wet.
But where the sand is wet, the tide comes.
Will it gently lick at your foundations until you give in?
Or will a sudden wave send you crashing down in the blink of an eye?
Either way the outcome is the same.
Yet we still build sand castles.

I stand where the foam wraps around my ankles.
Where my toes squish into the sand.
The salty air is therapeutic.
The breeze is gentle, yet powerful.
I sink my toes into the ultimate boundary line, tempted by the foamy tendrils.
Turn back, and I abandon my peace to erode at the shore.
Drift forward, and I return to Earth forevermore.

HAPPY 34TH BIRTHDAY BRENDON!!!!


:)

HAPPY LATE 40TH BIRTHDAY FRANK!!!! :)

HAPPY LATE 26TH BIRTHDAY MEL! :)

HAPPY 41ST BIRTHDAY MIKEY!!!!! :)

Straight Boys: Why are all the hot girls lesbian?
Lesbians: Why are all the hot girls straight?
Straight Girls: Why are all the hot guys gay?
Gay Guys: Why are all the hot guys straight?
Bisexuals: WHY ARE ALL THE HOT PEOPLE TAKEN?
Pansexuals: Everyone is hot. What do i do?
Asexuals: What.

" Cut yourself"

Just a cut
Just a scratch
"What's that mark?"
"It was the cat."
Just an excuse
Just a lie
"What's with all the bracelets?"
" Just fashion, why?"
Just a tear
Just a scream
" Why were you crying?"
"Just a bad dream."
But it's not just a cut, or a tear, or a lie
It's 'just one more' until you die

HAPPY LATE 37TH BIRTHDAY PATRICK! :)

HAPPY SUPER-LATE 12TH BIRTHDAY BANDIT :)

(Hello Poetry wouldn't let me on)

Fake smile
Dried eyes
Scratched wrists
Bruised thighs
White pills
Rope tied
Gun loaded
SUICIDE.

If you consider a woman less pure because you've touched her,
Maybe you should take a look at your hands.

I took my pen
I drew you out
I got you wrong
I rubbed you out
I honed my craft
I tried again
I failed with mine
And then with men
And then with landscapes
Laced with trees
Where others seemed to draw with ease
My lines were sloppy
Colors weak
Your essence greyed
Left incomplete

I'm scared of all those voices
Inside my head.
They scream to hell.
They could bring me to death.
I can't let them win.
But i'm just so tired.
So tired of this life.
So tired to fight.
I just want to let go.
Close my eyes,
Take a deep breath,
And sink into unconsciousness.
After all,
Wasn't I born to die?

Roses are not always red,
Violets are not always blue,
I chose to be with you,
But you left me for someone new.

If **** is the victim's fault,
Then 9/11 was the building's fault
For being so **** tall and crashable.

The colors, they won't
Bright, bea t ful c l rs
Flash ng, exp nd ng, piercing
Red, green, blue
An ndless
CACOPHONY
Of meaningless
noise

The noise, it won't STOP.
Viol nt, grating w vef rms
Sq e king, screech ng, piercing
SINE, COSINE, TANGENT
Like play ng a ch lkboard on a t rntable
Like playing a KNIFE on a BREATHING RIBCAGE
n ndl ss
p m
Of m n ngl ss

Delete Her

I don't pay attention to the
World ending.
It has ended for me many times
And began again in the morning.

It's my birthday.
woo.

Violets are blue,
Your blood is red,
The window was open,
I’m under your bed.

Do you ever read something you wrote when you were little and you just really wanna die a little because you were so cheesy?

Me at age 11: " I am a sea of feelings. I am an emocean."

HAPPY 44TH LATE BIRTHDAY GEE!

:)

That girl in your class
She laughs,
Her smile lights up an entire room.

That girl in your class
She has great grades,
She doesn't even have to try.

That girl in your class
She has seemingly amazing friends who care about her.

That girl in your class
She has scars,
Lines marking her body,
And friends that don't notice.
And some that don't care.

That girl in your class
Doesn't remember what it's like to not cry.
She cries herself to sleep every night.

But hey,
She smiles.
So she's okay.
Right?

They say
'Follow your heart'
But if your heart is
In a million pieces,
Which piece do you follow?

The way you glow through my blinds in the morning
Makes me feel like you missed me.
Kissing my forehead to help me out of bed
Making me rub the sleepy from my eyes.

Are you asking me to come out and play?
Are you trusting me to wish away a rainy day?
I look above. The sky is blue.
It's a secret, but I trust you too.

If it wasn't for you, I could sleep forever.
But i'm not mad.

I want breakfast.

Hey, I'm backkkkk

It's been a while.

Today is my not so sweet 16th birthday.

Some people: That's vandalism!
Other people: That's art!
Me: How the hell did they get up there?

I'll start reading a kindle when they make it smell like a book.

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening."
And then they proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Your mind is so full of troubles and fears
That diminished your wonder over the years
But today I have a special place
A beach for us to go.

A shore reaching beyond your sight
A sea that sparkles with brilliant light
The walls in your mind will melt away
Before the sunny glow.

I'll be the beach that washes your worries away
I'll be the beach that you daydream about each day
I'll be the beach that makes your heart leap
In a way you thought had left you long ago.

Let's bury your heavy thoughts in a pile of sand
Bathe in sunbeams and hold my hand
Wash your insecurities in the salty sea
And let me see you shine.

Let's leave your memories in a footprint trail
Set you free in my windy sail
And remember the reasons you're wonderful
When you press your lips to mine.

I'll be the beach that washes your worries away
I'll be the beach that you daydream about each day
I'll be the beach that makes your heart leap
In a way you thought had left you long ago.

But if you let me by your side
Your own beach, your own escape
You'll learn to love yourself again.

Welcome to our generation
Where kids pretend to smile
They pretend to be happy,
When in reality,
They're broken,
Beat,
Hurt,
Tired,
And they just want to die

Welcome to our generation
Where kids self harm,
Starve themselves,
And make themselves throw up
The generation that tries to die

This is our generation
The generation that wants to hide
The generation that wants to die

If you have to ask, "Why me?"
When you're feeling really blue.
When the world has turned against you
And you don't know what to do.
When it pours colossal raindrops
And the road's a winding mess.
And you're feeling more confused
Than you could ever express.

When the saddened sun won't shine
When the stars never align.
When you'd rather be
Hanging by your neck on a tree.

I love that 'Take out' means food, dating, and ******.

And if you're a praying mantis it can be all three at once.

Sayori: I'm so glad you're joining the literature club!

MC: Hey, I never agreed to join.

Monika: Oh, wow Sayori! Who's your friend?

Sayori: He's our club's newest member!

MC: thats...not set in stone....

Sayori: This is Monika! Yuri! And Natsuki! And you already know
me!

Monika: Welcome to our meeting!

Yuri: Are you into reading?

Sayori: No need for being coy!

Monika: We'll improve your uptake!

Natsuki: Have a friggin' cupcake! And must you bring a BOY?

Monika: Time to write some poems! Don't be scared to show em! The festival's days away!

Natsuki: You could help with baking!

Yuri: Or with banner making!

Sayori: And i'll walk home alone today....

Sayori: Maybe we're friends... maybe we're more! How could he love a simple girl next door? I'm just, not the type he's looking for!

Monika: Hey, Sayori you doing okay?

Sayori: I'm having a difficult day....

Monika: I'd say, you seem... pretty lonely!

MC: I wish I could make her grin... all she wants are things back the way they've been!

Monika: She's depressed and stressed and she's feeling blue, so I don't want Sayori, HANGING around you!

others: Just Monika! Just Monika! Just Monika! Just Just Monika!

Monika: I'm so glad you're joining the literature club!

MC: wait, what happened to Sayori?

Natsuki: Who?

Yuri: There's.... No one here named that......

Natsuki: Manga is my passion! Don't you dare be bashing! The writing's got finesse! Maybe you should borrow, these until tomorrow! WERE YOU LOOKING UP MY DRESS!?!

Yuri: Let's go read a story!

MC: What about Sayori?

Monika: Let's talk about me instead! I've been learning piano! And I sing soprano! And I can't get you out of my head...!

Yuri: Can't look away... Can't help but blush... Where did I get this overwhelming crush? It's sharp as a knife and twice the rush!

Natsuki: Yo! There's something I think you should know... Iv'e never seen Yuri so...

Yuri: SaNe AnD cHiIl AnD sTiIl KiNdA sWeAtY! And I don't mind CUTTING to the chase, i'm in love with you and your gorgeous face!

Monika: That's a sentiment I can't allow, so my dear friend Yuri, is getting the POINT now!

Natsuki: Just Monika! Juat Monika! Just Monika! Just just Monika!

Monika: Could you have guessed? Maybe you knew! Natsuki is next, i'm deleting her too! We don't need cupcakes or poems or tea, I only need you to love me....!

Monika: Wow, that's a lot of Crunchyroll you've been watching, you're really taking advantage of that free VRV trial...

MC: AH!

Monika: Hey, there's no one else in our way! So look at me and just say, right here, my dear, that you love me! And we'll, sit here to the end of time, cause i've earned this and you're finally mine! And i'm sorry what you've had to see, but it no longer matters, cause now you belong to me! Forever... Forever.... Forever.. Forever. Forever! Forever!! Forever!!! FoReVeR!!! FOREVER!!!!

Sayori: Well look what the cat dragged in!

MC: Sayori?! You're still in the literature club?

Sayori: Of course! I am the president after all!

Yuri: Wow Sayori, Who's your friend?

Sayori: He's our newest member of the literature club!

Natsuki: I'm GUESSING that's not set in stone....

MC: This time, I think it is.

Yuri: Hey! You should join us, I was just getting Natsuki here into my
favorite horror novel.

Natsuki: Hey! It...It's not like I like it or anything!

Sayori: So.... Are you walking home with anybody today?

MC: chuckles Just my friend Sayori.

Sayori: Just Sayori... JUst SAyori...JUSt SAYori..JUST SAYOri... JUST SAYORi JUST JUST SAYORI!!!!!!!

I was born.
I haven't died yet.

A long time after bedtime
When it's very late
When even dogs dream
And there's deep sleep
Breathing through the house

When the doors are locked
And the curtains drawn
And the shops are dark
And the last train's gone
And there's no more traffic in the street
Because everyone's asleep
Then....

The window cleaner comes
To the main shop fronts
And polishes the glass
In the street-lit dark

And a big truck rumbles past
On it's way to the dump
Loaded with the last
Of the day's trash

On the twentieth floor
Of the office tower
There's a lighted window
And high up there
Another night cleaner's
Vacuuming the floor
Working nights on her own
While her children sleep at home

And down in the dome of the observatory
The astronomer who's waited all day for the dark
Is watching the good black sky at last
For stars and moons
And spikes of light
Through her telescope
In the middle of the night
While everybody sleeps

At the bakery
The bakers in their floury clothes
Mix dough in machines
For tomorrow's loaves of bread

And out by the gate
Rows of parked vans sit
For their drivers to come
And take newly baked
Bread to the shops
For the time when the
Bread eaters wake

Across the town at the hospital
Where the nurses watch in the dim-lit wards
Someone very old shuts their eyes
And dies
Breathes their very last breath
On their very last night

Yet not very far away on another floor
After months of waiting
A new baby's born
And the mother and father
Hold the baby and smile
And the baby looks up
And the world's just begun
But still, everybody sleeps

Now through the silent station
Past the empty shops
And the office towers
Past the sleeping streets
And the hospital
A train with no windows
Goes rattling by

And inside the train the sorters sift
Urgent letters and packets on the late night shift
So tomorrow's mail will arrive in time
At the towns and villages down the line

And the mother
With the wakeful child in her arms
Walking up and down
And up and down
And up and down
The room
Hears the train as it passes by
And the cats in the yard
And the night owl's flight
And hums hushabye hushabye
We should sleep now
You and I
It's late and time to close your eyes

It's the middle of the night.

P- putting words
O- on paper to
E-  express in part,
T- thoughts from me
R- right to
Y- your heart

"Silly girl"
They say.

"How can you love a boy you've never met?"

My answer is always the same.

The boy I've never met has told me I'm beautiful so many times.

Never has anyone I actually know made me feel of such worth.

I Don't Love You- Song by MCR
I Love You- Song by Billie Eilish

All the good girls go to heaven-Lyrics from the song This Is How I Disappear by MCR

All The Good Girls Go To Hell- Song by Billie Eilish

You told me you'd never put me in pain.
But tell me, What's your idea of pain?


Because to me,
Pain is sitting at my kitchen table,
Writing about someone who promised me the world,
And then took it back.


To me,
pain is never looking at your friend's eyes the same way,
Because they always remind me of you.


To me,
Pain is thinking someone loves you,
Until they don't,
With no ifs or buts.

What is your distorted,
Delusional,
Idea of pain?

It's sad
Knowing that
I love others
More than
I love myself.
I hate to see others
In pain.
But when it comes to me,
"I'M FINE!"

Have you heard the news that you're dead?