this might sound crazy but
I'm thinking of you
again

of the endless
us
we
me and you
that will never be

maybe I'm insane

I was never good enough
and never will be

you hold her hand
as tight as you hold my
pusling
shattering
still longing for you
heart

I was the rose
you were the sunshine
there was a torrential downpour
and she was the scissors

I can't believe how amazing you are. You're the only person who's made me feel this special in a long time [delete]

are you sure you just want to be 'friends', I think I'm in love with you [delete]

can I have a goodbye kiss? I love your kisses, they taste like summer [delete]

I wish you would just say "Hi" to me in the hallways [delete]

that girl you always walk with is beautiful, I can understand why you didn't want me [delete]

when you told me I was beautiful and **** and all you would ever want, was that all a lie too? [delete]

I got a mosquito bite today and it reminded me of when we slept outside and were attacked by them [delete]

it smells like the nights we spent together [delete]

one, two, three...I've lost count of how many drinks are for you [delete]

I wish you thought about me as much as I think of you [delete]

why are your words stuck in my head [delete]

I was naive and young, I'm sorry I actually thought you loved me [delete]

it's been months since the summer nights we spent together. please tell me you miss me. [delete]

my chest hurts. my heart aches. everything about you from the way your lips tasted to how I got chills down my spine from just one touch makes me want to explode [delete]

the blood running down my wrist contains the words you said but never meant [delete]

I'm often faced with the question
"why don't you just take medicine?"

Zoloft
Prozac
Lexapro
Paxil

do they take away the memories
or replace the words slipping through their mouths?
do they stop the fluttering of thoughts racing around my tired brain?
do those tiny capsules create apologies or never said goodbyes?
do they stop my thoughts at the late hours of the night?
do the scars on my wrists magically disapear?
do they erase the images of every bad thing that's ever happened?
do they suddenly make me good enough for everyone I wasn't?

trying to begin to explain the color of your eyes
to a group of blind people
in only 26 delicate letters
would be an extremely painful and difficult task

the color of Wednesday afternoon skies
in your old rusty car
telling secrets
palm on palm

or maybe the color of your favorite rain
the cool drizzle that sprinkles onto
your elegant face like a beautiful veil

the color I feel inside
now that you're gone
and you left without saying a word