Ten, I need to hold back my tears
My anger, my sadness and my fears
Because I have a feeling that anytime
In this room, I will commit a crime
Nine, I can hear their voices outside
I have to stay here and hide
Stay quiet, stay unnoticed
Seal the pain, like what I have promised
Eight, let me see what is in this place
A chair, a table, a notebook, a lace
A lace? No, keep calm you cannot lose
You should not disappear in these shoes
Seven, I noticed that the lighting here
Is as dim as my current year
The friends I had were the ones I lost
Maybe even the ones I care about the most
Six, I decided to look outside the window
If there is even any window
I cannot remember when and why it is blocked
I cannot remember when and why my heart is locked
Five, get a hold of yourself
What you are thinking of will never help
Why did you even thought of that?
I am so curious with the aftermath
Four, my notebook lies open on the floor
What is written in it? I am not sure
I get these thoughts and I write them down
Mostly the times when in my tears, I drown
Three, I gathered the lace, the table and the chair
I am still not sure with what I am doing here
I want to know what will happen
Will I stop, will I move forward or will I go back to where I have been?
Two, I guess I cannot stay any longer
There is no reason left for me to stand here
Right now I am not angry or lonely
But I am also not excited nor am I happy
One, I attached the lace to the ceiling
Took a last look at home, if I only knew its true meaning
I wrote down my last words that may answer a question
So long to you, to me, and to these emotions
“I am not sure. ”
Special mention for @EdgarAllanPoenda, a friend of mine and a great poet.