When I was little, I would go to church each week
Sit in the pew and listen to a priest speak
He painted a picture like an artist
Describing a beach with hundreds of starfish
A boy was throwing them back in the ocean
When a man came and motioned
That the boy just couldn't save them all,
The boy replied he could save that one.
I've resonated with that story since I was small,
Something about the story seemed undone.

The man never helps the child,
Never offers to see his goal.
One child can save some starfish
But with some help, couldn't we save them all?
It just ends with a boy saving one
Like he's doing a good deed and I agree,
Yet no one still sees what that boy sees.

You're drowning in a week from now,
Can someone lend a leg to stand?
I hope they do, everyone needs a helping hand.
Inconvenience is only convenient for an excuse,
Pay no mind to a reward.
Let's throw every starfish back,
It can start with me and you.

What would I do for a Klondike?
I might ****** a militia of a million men,
Take the time to cut off every head
With a quick swink and a loud thud.
We don't play, bud, I'd crawl through the mud,
Grind through the filth of Shawshank
With smells too terrible to speak
For just a bite of that creamy treat.

I'd be a drug mule until I got to the top, bro.
I'd smuggle it all like El Chapo,
Working hard with police on my payroll
Until I got caught and questioned,
Judged and jailed to teach me a lesson.
Showing them that ice cream for confession
And all they responded was,
"Ryan, that was a rhetorical question"

They didn't give you feet
To try to fit in shoes tied too tight
Looking at a blank page,
Only reading what others write.
This is your world, don't waste it
Trying to be something your not
We have enough flocks, beeping in unison robots.
Even as I write words I feel as generic as my past self

"Let me guess, Ryan, every person has potential?
It's easy to write the next poem using a stencil
Of the last fifteen years of your life, right?
Or maybe tell me about your father again
And block him from reading it like the chicken **** you are
No matter how many demons battled, you don't ever win.
Until you start to man up or even in these puddles you'll be a drowner"
But here I still stand a loner, lacking a fan base
Lacking a realistic view of life, still a closet I rarely face
"Another lost case, wearing that victimized millennial cap"
But I'm trying to fight a system while most these kids nap
I'm sick of defending myself to my mind, I'm furious
"Then maybe you should take more than writing serious"

They didn't give me this mind
To pull my skull into a head case
Look at this page full of ink drained
Stained only on what I'm writing
Turning my back on a world too wasted
With people faker than the flavors they're tasting
We have enough flocks, none I'm ready to flock to
Even as I write these words I feel as generic as my past self

I never thought I'd be one to be growing old
I've got a wife and a kid,
A younger me would have never known.
Instead I'm grieving some friends
Who never got the the chance to grow.
I use to think I could smell my grave,
Now I'm some backwards slave
Chained up in survivor's guilt
Like playing a lottery of life
Survive long enough to watch them die
Or die too quick to really live.

If I should cough and choke,
I hope they burn me off in colored smoke
Because even in dark, I hope they see light.
I made my mark in lead,
Through words slipping out of my head.
Like I had a choice?
They make me push that voice
And share it in the dead of night
Where the skeletons shuffle through
Then awaken myself into anew.

They won't know my name until I go,
Won't understand the words I'd sew.
Treated with kindness when gone,
Treated with scrutiny when alive,
It's like standing on a highdive
All silence until you crash,
Then it's all laughter and cheer.
But why don't we appreciate the day it's here?
I'm sure that answer will become clear.

They say pain is better than feeling nothing,
But nothing feels worse than pain.
She was just an innocent woman,
All that changed in a day,
Her husband came home upset.
They argued and he slapped her face to the floor.
She was left in shock,
started packing her things and out the door
He gained a level head, apologizing evermore.
She started making excuses and stayed
But if it ever happened again she swore,
She wouldn't live there anymore.

It's been years since that first time,
Just a couple bruises no one sees,
She keeps messing everything up,
So she deserves what she received.
A couple shots to her ribs,
A tight jab just above the knee.
Even if she wanted to go,
He says, he can always find me
"And I'm happy sometimes,
As long as I do everything perfectly"
But if she ever had a chance she swore,
She wouldn't live there anymore.

She wakes up early just to put on her face,
Staring into a mirror, breaking down with the shakes.
She can't count the bruises, the pain in every place.
Everyone knows the truth but, it seems too late.
She needs help but everywhere is out of reach,
She's broken down with a split lip affecting her speech.
Someday she would speak out, right then, she swore
She wouldn't live there anymore.

Then one night he went too far,
She was packing up her things,
He saw crimson, blood boiled to the core
She started pleading with every shot he bore.
They say pain is better than feeling nothing
But nothing feels worse than pain, she's sure.
As he took a final blow, she wasn't living anymore.

I'm sorry that I'm not sorry
You should not be sorry that you are.
I apologise unapologetically for well...
For the nothingness of everything,
For the dead who truly lived,
For the living living dead.
For the glass half full I drank,
For the glass half empty I will have drunk
For all the things I wrote
And those ones I simply had thunk.
I'm sorry that I'm not sorry
I hope you don't accept.

I grew up in a town with a church on every block,
I grew up in a town with a bar on every block,
On the streets, the same homeless man would walk
Riding a bike or walking on his feet
But everyone knew each other,
So they would wave a hand to greet.
The *** holes were planted like flowers
And those flowers seemed to grow
The adults complain for hours
About a lot of things I'd come to know.

I grew up in a town, it looked a lot like yours
It had a park, it had my friends,
So many nights heading home at dark.
I'd bet you know it just as I
You can even hear the squeaky swings,
If you gave it a try.
We built a bridge to cross the streams,
At day's end talking about our dreams,
Listening to songs that made us alive.

I grew up in a town, I left some years ago.
The streets look mostly the same
Now filled with people I don't know.
Friends will stay in touch, we'll stay in touch,
Friends I now don't talk to much.
Growing up in a small town in such a rush.

People get odd when you're nice today,
You must want something,
What's your angle to a compliment
What's the meaning to the time spent
Picking someone up even if they aren't down?
Spreading hate, I just don't relate.
There's enough of that, here's a smile,
Feel free to spread it around.

I'm only weird in the sense you made me that,
Ok fine, I am weird but, not for being polite.
The problem is good people sat back
While hate spread like a shadowy night
They don't dance, they look to destroy lives.
Hate your self image, make you feel worthless.
Clean off the mirror, you are perfect,
To each their own, you are perfect.

Imagine if we made love normalized
The same way we judge each other's eyes
In present tense, I'm a childish believer
But the air is getting way too dense.
Shake a stranger's hand and take a chance.
They might need it more than you know.
They might need it more than they show.

Twenty seven club is coming up
I'd worry they'd take me out
But fame isn't looking to erupt.
I'm just the one who kept breathing fine,
Walked out of the hospital too many times,
Too many times.
What's the point, I'm searching for purpose
I'm looking for someone to say that I'm not worthless
Stuck pouring from a mangled mind.

I drink too much caffeine,
Keep wearing my skin so thin
They wonder where my bones have been.
Here's my thoughts I jot to sleep
Here's the beep that wakes when morning creeps.
****, my mind's a cloud in weightless air,
Floating up to know why I'm here.

They want a story, here's a life
Pull back my layers and read the chapters
The television pollutes the ones it captures
They asked where's the rapture?
Sir, we are our own rapture.
Look at the mess we left after.
Leave this mess for a generation after.

What is a poet?
You're looking at me with eyes like I know,
Don't ask me, ask the kid who wrote,
He would tell you he just wanted to cope.
Raised in a place that only grew mold
So he closed his eyes and dreamed of gold,
He closed his eyes and made empty pages whole.
That's the only way I learned to grow.

Dad split, mom had to work late,
Dealing with a mental hell from everything I ate.
I found an outlet before it was too late.
The lights don't stay on just because you pay the bills,
You have to maintain the structure to keep the build.
The world will function fine with your empty space
But there will always be a person who will miss your face.

What is a poet? Don't look to me.
I was just a troubled kid in need.
I only penned up a pad to let it spill,
Outside of these walls, I don't say how I feel.
Let the ink bleed then let it be done,
What is a poet? Certainly, that can be anyone.

There's wind in your sails, son
But there is sin lurking in the waters
This ice might freeze your veins
When you're on high tides with just a dream,
Whether it's smooth sails or drowned on a rock bed
Remember to always keep a level head.
Most of those speeding bullets are flying depressed
What if the fame of their mental unrest
Continues to grow and the crowd following
Is the food making the illness continue to manifest?

I'm paying to make the warm days stay cool
I'm paying to make the cold days warm
And I keep my cool because it's out of my hands
All I can do is fix it or buy it brand new
Until I come to that day when these cards all come due
I feel lost because I work to eat Ramen as fuel
That's just being dramatic, I eat because I like it too.
But I wish people were more honest about these feelings
Instead of the fake smile, fake "great" chat.
Shake their hand never knowing the weight on their back
Let's be real, this is exactly where I'm at:

I put down the pen for a month to be a work slave
That doesn't mean I don't crave to jot these thoughts
It means I don't hold the energy for me
I spend my free time pulling grey hair looking at the dark circles
That I wave to in a mirror fogged up when I breathe
"How can I help you and how am I wrong?"
A professional drug dealer, a professional nothing.
Think I'm important? I think you'd replace me like nothing.
A Russian roulette and not a single chamber is bluffing.
I put down this pen for ***** scraps of parchment
That a man used to get synthetic numbness sent
Through his veins and I miss that idiot some days.
And I'm sorry. Man, I'm sorry.

Laying on a hospital bed, she said
"Tell me about heaven" in a soft gasp,
Placing back the oxygen mask,
Her eyes shown a desire to know,
Breaths keeping steady but slow.
Okay.

You know the gates they speak,
Big and pearly with a man ready to greet?
That's all totally fake.
Close your eyes and picture an empty room,
Now this place is yours to assume.
Your old friends will visit in a minute
As the name zooms through your self.
In the form you've held most dear.
Emotions, good and bad still run strong
But if you need composure, you can turn them off.
A place can be all perfect, still everything should be felt.

Existence for each is just what they need,
Some want a challenge, others just need to be.
The expectation created, sounds good but flawed,
Perfection can curse that's why it's not.

As the machines stopped beeping,
Oxygen seeping through tubes
But not being held, it was time.
You opened your eyes to a room
I painted for your mind.

On the days I don't know what to write,
I write about not knowing what to write.
Each word rattling, wanting to play
But I fear my original thoughts are cliche.
The inspirational quote I wrote, feeling powerful,
As I put it down, just felt so dull and bland.
Full poems, pulling at my heart
Disappear into that nowhere land
Like sands sifting from an hourglass
Onto the beach, blending back.

I painted landscapes in a moment
Pouring water, after, over the canvas
I couldn't stand to see myself portrayed generically.
As the brush had hit the fabric,
I believed this was my vision and I owned it.
The colors flowing out had shown
A piece to this world I called "unknown".

Thinking on all those almost created,
I wish I kept them, maybe,
My future self would have found one amazing,
Maybe someone would have related.

I sleep like I'm living on Elm St,
Changed my last name from Maroni to Myers
Now Michael is looking to **** me.
Ended up running from Leatherface
Put to a ****** Doo kind of chase,
No matter how hard I tried,
He wouldn't stop until he tanned my hide.

I sold a prop from Twilight Zone,
To a Hannibal, hungry clone
Who was looking to "serve man"
He learned julienne clipper cuts
From a guy with scissors for hands.
Then cooked the flesh in a pastry dish
Into the oven each person would slide
"Come and try Mrs. Lovett's meat pies!"
The business would rise as they all got in line.

I sat down for tea with Pamela,
She said her son Jason's a mess
That was Thursday, the twelfth,
I haven't heard from her since.
But if I was that parent,
I would teach my child to swim.
I took some forget-me-knots
Mixed them together with frog's breath,
Said the word "hopscotch"
And returned to the dead.

We walked out into the quiet night,
Down the streets we knew
Following the dim streetlights
Seeing the shadows cast that grew.
Turning corners to a darkened place
Turn back, as your heart begins to race?
No, we have to walk straight through.

We walked onto a road of dirt,
Where the trees hung at each side
Feeling the trail beneath our feet
The ground worked from each car that had passed by.
It was calm, only nature making noise
Only thoughts to keep us company
Where nothing need be said
We walked without society talking in our heads.

We walked to the edge of the earth that night,
Looking out into the outer space
How small we seemed to it all
A couple people lost in hate and waste.
But if we could change something,
As small as the world made it seem,
To someone it may mean everything

These are the things I think of when my eyes close:
I see a place where everything stands still,
A room full of thoughts that can ****,
Repeat the ding from brown noise,
Ping and clang keeping my mind going,
Words blowing through my brain
Like gusts just kicking up dust
For the sake of knowing they exist,
I need to attach life support back on my wrist
The chain strains and the clasp splits
You can't make sense of half of it
But if ever I wrote a line and you loved it
Then I guess it was worth all the rest.

What if I went back to school?
What if I barely see my family?
What if I don't really make it out ahead?
What if tomorrow I go to bed,
Then I just never wake up again?
What if I was happy with my life now
And everyone else who's got a problem
Can just turn their back and back down.
Okay, Ryan, relax it's just a suggestion.
The 502nd sheep just jumped over a fence
Then I cut off my mind from reflection.

It's okay to have bad days and feel good,
It's okay to have good days and feel bad.
You won't find all the answers
In the words written by someone else.
But in days of feeling lost they can help.
I'm a significant nothing in a grand scheme
Looking up to a sky wondering what it all means
I'm something to a few, I'm something to me
It's okay if I'm nothing to you.
I'm just a face in an ever passing crowd,
Hey it's getting late, may I sleep now?

I've been told,
you can't change the world overnight
And they're right.
But you can start.

It's barely noon and I've felt myself
Falling apart more than ten times
I'm floundering but no one is casting lines.
I'm sorry I'm not strong like you,
I haven't built a shell without subtle tells.
I've thought about numbing out
But all this will rush back,
Fake smile until I can't,
Until I can't.

"Hey Ryan, how are you?"
I'm fine.

One day I gave a dollar to a man on the street
Who held a sign that read simply "help please"
He paid twenty-five cents for water to drink
Then chuckled and gave the change
To a kid passing by who looked bleak.

The child ran to the corner store
And bought two packs of double mint gum
One for himself and one for his chum
But rushed off in such a dash
He left his change with the cashier,
A whole twenty-five cents cash

The cashier used the change to help out a few
A dime for tax on a man passing through
A nickel short each for two ladies buying ice
And nine cents to a man riding past on his bike.
Then I, myself, went to that very store
Only to find I was one penny short
And wouldn't you know all was okay,
The cashier pulled the last cent and said
"Have a nice day."

This is social poetry,
The words I let everyone read.
These letters won't cut very deep,
I could write them in calligraphy
Elegantly displaying for all to see.
Look how pretty they sit with me,
A pluffy little piece of parchment
That really said nothing, like a plaque
Purchased from a proper place
Wrapped with lace saying
"You miss all the shots you don't take"

This is social poetry.
The message falls short with time,
Generalizing emotion, pretending to be genuine.
Here's a five word statement, now base it
On life choices, calm the voices, noiseless.
No sir, we are not simple, basic, face it,
We want something real to read and feel
Like we exist in present eyes
And leave that one verse of Corinthians
That people love to quote to be crucified.

This is social poetry,
Where thoughts come to drift
A simple limerick when you need a lift
But when you want to know
About what makes the walls really tick,
I'll hand you my heart in pages to flip.

"Don't forget me", I yelled jokingly
To friends waving on a late Friday night
As they drove off and into the moonlight,
I stood on that curb feeling alive
We got by forgetting life. In hindsight,
The best people to surround yourself
Are those that can keep your mind right.
As the day ended, I laid up in bed
Pretending nothing would ever change,
Knowing everything may change.

"Don't forget me", I spoke through a phone.
We catch up on brighter days
The conversation is distant, I'd say,
Only speaking in nonchalant tones.
Talking of memories but in present,
We aren't present in each other's places,
A friendly wave in common spaces
In a real sense, nothing more than stranger faces.

"Don't forget me", I thought on older times
When plans were yours and mine,
Both of us are busy, no chance to call,
The phone's silent hanging on the wall.
I was wrong with my words, you see
I said "don't forget me" but I meant
Remember me.

Tell them a story kid,
Show them a world brand new
Or a looking glass unseen
Show them the world as you see it
Stuck in the middle of life
Like the lie you believe in.
I've seen my spirit drop my body
Then pull back yelling "I'm not leaving"
People want your blood like vampires
And they can have it when I retire
Until that day, I'll battle these demons.

Don't get lost in a good book
Or some poem by a written no one
Go outside and look at the clouds
see what others still haven't found
Lay down, like a child, right on the ground
And count the cars as they pass
Not with your eyes, just wait for the sound
You know, I used to, how about you?

I bet there's an old shop you remember
All remodeled and renewed,
If you could have it back, what would you do?
Lost some friends and family?
I've lost those too, trade it all away
For an hour or two, catch up for a minute
To tell them about life, where you've gotten in it.
And in times your memory of them fades
I'm certain they feel the same way.

Teach the future compassion,
Teach them that everyone struggles.
You don't have to understand everyone,
Don't need to comprehend their demons
But a friendly hand can make a difference.
Kindness can bridge the world,
An open mind allows hate to subside
In the hearts of old time thoughts
Where such distaste is learned to reside.

Learn that new and different is not bad
Every tradition is meant to be altered
In the sense of inclusion, I want solution.
"Why should I change my ways to help others?"
Why wouldn't you, friend?
Who hurt you in such a hard way?

I don't know about you
But in my mind when I look out
Love is amor is amour is liebe
Is liefde is kärlek is love.
Anything else that has been taught
Should not exist, what says you?

This is a story, they say I'm a character.
Can you tell me the ending, I'm asking
Because I don't know where I'm going,
Are we just simply showing an adventure?
One man's struggle left unmentioned,
Always seen blurry due to the world's hurry.

Is this it? Existing in the subtitles,
I thought I was surviving to perform accolades.
Instead, I feel mostly in the way
While they perform accolades.
I don't want to pass away but,
Why did you keep me here?
Just for everyone to pass my way?
I was built for greatness, I know it.
I feel it like you feel the wind blowing.
If I'm a character, show me what path to take!
No? It's three a.m. I lay awake,
Hoping for anything to say.

This is a story, anyone have an ear for lending?
I know the truth but, I won't ruin the ending.

The moon is shining so bright tonight
I wonder if you see it too.

I built a house of cards as a child
And smiled looking over the structure,
The perfection of each placed piece
And the integrity it held standing tall.
Then at the bottom I pulled
The ace of spades from where it stood,
Suddenly the whole building did fall.
In awe, I looked and sat,
The entirety had now gone flat.

If pictures could speak
I've heard they'd say a thousand words
But if the language of them was foreign
Then, to me, it may sound all absurd
Yet, in the sound you could still feel
The tone at which they spoke
Softly serving as a memory
Of the places it did know

If pictures could speak
I would listen through the night
Laughing as the sun came up
Never sleeping but eyes creeping
More closed passing through a morning light.
I would listen to the faded laughter
Of times someone lived to say
Staring at the past, wasting time in present day

If pictures could speak
They may haunt the world I knew
But their secrets I would keep
In the cryptic art that someone drew
They'd never know I heard them
So silent, but still there
Always talking but never realizing anyone cared

"Hey how have you been?"
Let me think, with a smile,
Just say I am well, let's have a seat.
Here's a real answer, it just may take a while.
Spare me a minute if you could.

I've been selling drugs for six years,
About re-up another two,
I'm at the top of my game,
Minimum wage seems to go up,
I get compensated all the same.
I've been watching my worth diminish,
Another blow to the ego, another questioning why?
Another person asking why I even try.
I've been a hand me down, hand out case
And I'll never go back to that.

One person asking why my wife doesn't work
Another proud that we make that work.
No matter what path you take,
You'll disappoint someone all the same.
If you aren't a player in my life,
Kindly stay out of my lane.
That's no disrespect, I get your intentions,
Your opinion may prove better with wait
But if that's the case, I accept all my mistakes.

Some weeks I feel exhausted,
Some days I pass out in bed,
Most days poetic thoughts flood my head
But I can say I am well
I could say I'm broken, I could say I'm complete
I could fall over and cry
But most days I keep dancing to a beat
Even when it's been 12 hours on my feet
Call me anything but I'll never be weak.
I can feel it all simultaneously and all be true
But I guess that's enough about me,
How are you?

Do you think
Anyone will ever read what I write
With the same passion i wrote it?
Do you think they'll have tears in their eyes
In the parts it feels my mind is imploding?
Would they feel how long I stared at an open page
While they stare out at this paper
Like a well lit stage

You aren't viewing the person
Who's working their hardest in front of you,
Feet speeding so fast like Sonic
Kicking dust up you'd swear the wind blew
Hurricanes into an F5 cyclonic rapture
To capture the image left un-viewed
Only abused in a selfmental mind
Leaving thoughts to be watered and subdued,
The pressure is building and I'm holding a corkscrew.

Look at this face, the bags my eyes carry
Have enough weight to bury, get the toe tags
Taste the complications of the memory
Holding heavy every detail to a scale,
Every failure, every success I don't forget.
Holding what they look as a gift at first
But I've got a pair of nines for you to try
Saying you will walk with a curse.

No matter how I'm blessed asking,
Why I still thirst.
Starving for a real burst of energy
Look for remedies to mend besides words.
You don't see me, I'm looking at you clear
"I guess, I don't want to look in the mirror."

Do you ever look at the power lines
Where the birds perch in flock?
Where they chatter their matters,
They sit and talk but we just hear squawks.
They don't mind we don't know, it's fine.
They're speaking in codes
And nobody notices as they go.

Do you ever listen to the deaf?
Speaking with hands, I'll admit,
I don't know the signs, that's ignorant I.
I want to know the thoughts in their heads
The barriers we build only take time
To grind down into rubble
But I'm afraid most want a self-indulgent bubble
And I'm no better, I guess.

Do you ever see a human
Who looks and speaks like you
He looks like he's having hard times
With a lot spinning up his mind
So you pass by, look to the other side,
And nevermind the bloke,
Turn to your friend after and make a joke.
And nobody notices as he goes.

There's nothing worse than being nothing
When you know you have potential
Instead stenciled, penciled, cookie cut
Into a rut of their something.
I'd rather be bluffing and faking
Than making myself into what they made me.
"Ryan, you ok?" Yeah, it's all gravy,
Reality, I can feel dry as a biscuit
Risking my life for this work life,
This can't be all there is, right?

"I'm a drug dealer!" And then there's shock
Not a street block but a retail shop
So we both laugh, the only joke I got.
They let their guards down, it sounds intense
But dense minds don't realize I sit behind
This keyboard and bash those buttons
Until they pop out of their sockets,
Clock it in, clock me out, I could work this knocked out.
A genius sleeping, keeping sanity from going south.

They keep saying I have such potential,
Stuck dreaming it could be with this pencil
But even this utensil is saying number two,
Afraid I'll turn blue being unheard,
Unrelatablly unrelated until my name
Sits on a stone slated.
Here lies a writer you only read
Once his words spoken out from the dead.

I'm just trying to be someone
That my past self would be proud to know

While I'm working today,
While I'm at a desk wasting away,
I've got more and more responsibility,
People complaining, head straining.
The speed I type is making my fingers bleed.
But still that isn't enough and it's killing me.
Can I, am I, could I be worth a raise?
"Not today, sales aren't great,
I hate to say, the big heads only made
A half a mill for what you did today,
Prove your worth, this is not okay."
Okay.

So I wait, time being all I've got,
Until that final hour hits the clock,
I punch the clock, eight hours in,
Back home to eat, home to sleep.
Never sick, never really sleep.
Another pawn they keep
With just enough carrot to never really eat.
Complained about my shoes
Until the corporate world removed my feet.
And that's the land of being free.

While I'm working today,
While I'm wasting away,
I'll fix every problem you create
I'll be smiling with a hand to shake,
Someday I'll be the person
I dream to be awake.

A moment of silence for all the poetry
I never show and let no one read,
The rejects that sit in my skull,
Too controversial so nobody knows
Too unfinished, too selfhated
Let's just face it, you would not have related.
But maybe in time that mindset will have faded.

A moment of silence for those in rehabilitation,
Working hard to make real changes.
That journey is an uphill battle and the part I play?
I give them pills keeping their minds to rattle
I might catch some friction but,
Most days I feel like I'm giving them a new addiction.
Shut up quick or big pharma will make me a work of fiction.

A moment of silence for anyone in it
Whatever it is, we don't have to say
Just keep your head on for the day
With all the spinning disarray, get through
And exist as you.

Chuck and I have been talking,
He says he's nervous to shoot,
I've got him strapped with a mean 22.
I told him the road he's going down,
There's no happy ending here
The angel was the first sign,
The waters ahead don't look clear

This is the calm, the storm is coming,
Better fix the windows while you can
Because, Chucky, the roof is about to leak
I warn you, we aren't going back to Sam.
Enjoy your peace in the moment,
Keep the liquor flowing and lit
But, we are about to sober up quick.

Those bodies aren't sitting in silence,
Quiet, you can hear their voices still
You've got a gun for quick violence,
They've got slow plans to ****

"Table for one", he replies with a smile
The waitress sighs and leads him to a seat
He orders a soft drink, sipping slow to think.
An old man sits down at the bar while his ice cubes sink.
The man speaks about wisdom he hoped he knew
About a life that he just walked though,
How money made wealth but not riches
How he thinks back and just wishes,
Speaking to a lady in back doing the dishes.

His plate is brought out hot,
He sticks a fork into a bite
As a couple sits down to his right
They've only been dating for a week,
She speaks and he holds onto each word
He's nervous beneath the surface,
Sweating bullets but holds on with a smile,
She feels the same, pulse pounding all the while
The man takes another bite wondering
Where they would be a year from now.

He looks around to see,
A mother talking with a child about two feet tall
Why it's not ok to draw on the walls,
A woman on her phone who is lacking self-esteem
So she cries at night while she's alone,
A couple of men discussing sports
Getting too rowdy so the manager has to escort
Them out the door, he'd seen enough.
He pays his bill and heads for the door.

She sees the walls like iron bars,
Dreams of big dreams but she's on a leash
So even when she pleas, she isn't going far.
What if she leaves, makes like the trees.
I bet she'd see how lovely the world could be.
They use to say her head's in the clouds
But I know she really saw stars.
I know she lived in the stars.

The world appears vast and unknown,
In comfort, it's easy but the door stays closed,
She feels alone but ready to grow
Don't come too close, don't come too close,
Push away those thoughts, leave me alone.
So everyone does and she's left in her zone.

Until one day she sees her leash
For all its real abuse, she bows her head,
And removes that age old noose.
For the first time, in a long time she can see.
America can be beautiful,
America can be free.

What if everyone went speaking their mind?
What if we broke the silly social walls?
How come we ask how people are,
When we don't want to know?
Does it help you to hear the words "I'm fine"?

How come we diss people with a dream?
Are you jealous you conformed and they schemed?
How come money determines worth?
Even worse some come with a fame at birth.
I'd rather be broke than broken.
I'd rather be speaking than spoken for.
I'd rather eat marshmallows than s'mores
I don't need the chocolate. Whatever.

What if we danced in the street?
I already dance in the street
And while your mind is drifting, driving away
If you hit me dancing, I'd wave and say it's ok.
But really, I won't sue you just make sure I'm ok? Ok.

What if people became famous for poetry?
What if I become famous for, I'm kidding.
If you know of me, I'd give all the money away.
Maybe I'd keep a little to retire today

There was lightning inside me tonight,
Burning bright in electrical static.
There was thunder erupting in decibels
From my finger tips booming in havoc.
Flashing instances of light too quick to tell
If my thoughts were striking to fall
Then sitting quiet, these words appeared
In an eerie calm.

There was wind seeping out from my lips
Blowing life into paper once lifeless,
The corners would rise and drift
Like the tide would slip under a boat,
Steady she goes and keeping afloat.
As my breaths did flow evenly paced,
The salty air blew through this place
Leaving these words in haste.

There was rain dropping from my eyes
Rolling down my cheeks, dripping onto lines.
They say things may soon come clear
But my cloudy head is pretty grey, I fear.
As the tears hit and water spread,
They left a poem once they dried
As I went off to bed.

Ten thousand hours to master a skill,
Here's ten thousand words on how i feel
Take them at face value,
My mind is trying to make my heart real.
America told me to hold onto that belief,
In a country free to have a dream.
I've got ten thousand words now,
This is all I ever wanted to be.
Pointing at myself in the mirror saying
Don't you lose that steam.

I'm creating my own space,
I've waited so long to have a taste
And i would fight to the ****** end
Anyone looking to take it away.
So while you walk through the stores
I keep tapping these keys away
Hoping one day the shelves will say my name.

It seems pretty terrible,
We **** full races, nations,
For one radical group and salute
To a place based on freedoms
Then try to browbeat the same religion
Into every school and political organization.
Remember the start of freedom we sought,
Pride ourselves being the melting ***
But all I see is ****** white folks a lot.

I'm tired of another year to build a wall,
How Arabic people will bomb us all,
Another African man going home
Gets shot up just because police can.
We create a stigma for anyone not like you
Then push hate for people trying to prove
That they deserve rights too.
I'd rather trust in any god that doesn't promote
Old money-made rich men,
Who make laws but don't follow them.

Get everyone fired up on a tangent, look.
While they turn around to hide their own scandal, crooks.
They would create any distraction
To allow for their own transactions,
You're at home fighting fake enemies,
They're sitting in mansions laughing.
Standing behind the views they want you to hear
Feeding people bigotry and fear
Real issues get buried and it isn't fair.

Everybody is looking to be something
Where they're heartbeats make sense
While people lose dreams like nothing
Leaving them to never know what they meant.
Stars align like skies without a cloud
Stars collide but we don't hear a sound.
Are we really listening?

In a fast paced life where a dollar sign
Is what makes happiness arise
I don't know if I can push aside
The pendulum that makes my ticker tock,
I walk astray from most the others way
Afraid I might lose the key to my lock
Trapped in a dead end job, never leaving the box.

Everybody is looking to be something
Real passion left to be unfelt
Craving anything that makes us feel real
Laying up, hoping to be something else.

My thoughts are building like legos
Head burning like el fuego del infierno
Life is calling me, stuck waiting on my turn.
They ask me about passion, what happened?
I'm getting back on track, hadn't you heard?
If all I do is write when free, I hope these words
Will someday sprout me wings
Like birds who talk but we hear them sing.

I linger with my fingers rewritting what I've written
Been called a failure, unrealistic.
But I truly can't be quitting, sadistically
My mind comes back to a poetic side
That drives the rest to put down
What's on my chest, investing time,
To tell, without a sound, this story of mine
In hopes you see my heart in every line

All things in life can be so fragile
Make or break the worlds we know
Entering the darkest days hold up a candle
Reaching light for a path to show
If any were to enter where stars could be rewritten
Can you imagine where we would go?
Anywhere, I know.

How quickly they can feed you fire,
How quickly they can take it away.

Some days i want to travel,
Have an exciting adventure
Unravel the globe real slow
And hold adrenaline in my palms.
Some days i wish i was something
More than this body dragging me around
More than the clothes setting a status
As the gravity keeps me on ground
Looking up to people who only look down.
Instead of the ones who pave paths
Regardless of anyone coming around.

Sometimes I lay on the floor
Mapping out my mind on the ceiling
Only to run out of ink and out the door
then the rain is still pouring in.

Sally, dear, I'm glad you're here.
Do you remember Christmas town?
How silly, of course you do!
That magical tree I fell through,
Well Sally, last night I sat on Spiral Hill
As the wind sang beautiful chills,
Curiosity filled me right to my core,
I've often questioned, what do you suppose
Is behind all those other wonderous doors?

"Now wait, but Ja-"
"Please, Sally, we should have none of that
Imagine the lands, the towns, the sounds
And frankly, I know where I belong,
But in this town, I am still just a little bit bored."

I heard of a place where everyone would chase
Little men wearing green,
As strange as it seems, for reasons untold,
Each little man held a *** of gold.
Lock, Shock, and Barrel, while planning my peril,
Found a giant bunny they accidently stole
And although I offered no applause,
For the Hopper was no Sandy Claws,
I bet that basket of eggs plays a devious role.

And Sally there was one more...
In that circle of trees, one with a heart on the door,
With you, that one, I want to explore.
I've heard no rumors of it's contents
But we should see, together, what it has in store.

I miss laying in the grass
Even if it made my skin itch,
The freedom was worth the time to pass.
A sun burned face and back
Feels worth a beautiful day turning to night
In a trance where time goes off track.
How I wish I could hold those days so tight.
Gone in an instant, slipping through aged cracks.

If you sing and dance, no matter where you are.
I support you to hell and back.
If you are afraid to ever show your colors
Because people stare and laugh
I hope you take that random chance,
Someone may even start to clap.
Personally, I laugh right back.
Now the same squares are part of the act.
Keep dancing.

Whenever or wherever it rains
I can only promise one thing
I will be found dancing in the street
Even during work hours, I remove my chains
And take a break to get soaked head to feet.
I promise this is a practice I actually do
And you can feel free to do it too.
Be free. Be you.

There's a fire burning somewhere,
You can feel it too, right?
The heat is increasing out there
Beyond the horizon you or I can see.
Stand next to me, close your eyes,
And slowly. Breathe.
The smoke could choke us,
Only, most of the world, they don't notice.
Not like us, smelling scents so potent.
Everyone is arguing of nothing,
Reality is terrifying.

There's a break of waves in the ocean,
Excitedly, people bring their children floating.
"This calm is so great!"
Paying no attention to the earth being broken,
I feel asleep in a space that claims awoken,
Everyone is blissful in the nothing,
Reality is terrifying.

I'm dying cracking jokes,
I'm just like you,
The dire circumstances, I let go.
Defensively I laugh at demons I know.
But I know, the last thought I'll evoke
Will not be a playful poke.
I'll tunnel song myself back to a heartfelt note.
I'm laughing at the nothing.
I'm so scared of this nothing.
I know nothing is coming.
Reality. It's terrifying.