At the core of every secret

Is the truth*

A truth we are unwilling to divulge

Yet through time we evolved

To learn truth is the best solve

At first, it was just one

You said you could stop

"I just want to try one'

But Soon you lost control

one became two

Two turned to four

Soon you were popping pills

Like never before

You'd claw at your skin

Searching for the crawling things

You became erratic

Destructive and frantic

I broke-down

Crying and begging

'Please, won't you stop this'

Don't you see what it's done

Your showing signs already

'It's made you an addict'

Silent pleas

Become the loudest screams

Of one begging help me

From day to night

By your side

There I'll wait

To be your aid

I'm all ears

For you

my dear

Ask me, as you will

The question with an autimatic fill

I will undoubtedly lie untill  

You believe the answers real

In order to deal

Because truth be revealed

The real answer holds no appeal

Because

*no I'm not okay

Names were casted down like stones

Layers upon layers

We lied buried beneath its weight

We were crushed  

It'd been too heavy to carry

Too much to bare

We'd succumbed

For today we'd lost the battle

When all is wrong with the world

But the world says

'something is wrong with you'

Do you comply to their judgement?

Assessing all that is wrong with you

Picking and prodding

Changing and morphing

Till there's nothing left of you

But a mere whisper of what you once were

Becoming a product of the world

Say this to the world

Say that Your life

begins and ends with you

Mouths filled to the brim

With sugar filled words

Promises of the things we

Should've

would've

And

could've

Done

Only when the time comes

For old promises to be called on

they vanish, Into the air

As does the value

In what you say

~~~~~~~~

Life weighs us down with burdens

But

We have reason to raise our heads up

dont forget to raise your head

:)

His sharp words

We're like sparks

Fuel to a torrent of anger

Enough to build a flame

That grew into a raging fire

That was quick to spread

Doming all within its path

Destroying the one at the very core of the fire

Then came the tears in the form of rain

Flooding the earth reducing the fire

To mere flames easily extinguishable

Sparks no longer able to reignite again

All there was to see was the last dying flame

Leaving behind a trail of pain

Only in despair
Do we truly seem to care
but why need it go so far
to realize, visualize  
what was kept bottled now ajar

They run deep
They are heavy
They make the heart unsteady
Easy to flow
Harder to control
They blind & make the mind weary
To share is to expose
Ones mind
Ones body
Ones soul
These are the feelings
Unwarranted
Denied
Or
Yet to be made known

Depression is not a phase

This is a point i want to raise

Sufferers, do not seek attention

As the stigma likes to mention

Its a mental condition

Just as harmful as an addiction

Listen

And take it serious

*Depression is not a phase

This sadness is but a phase

The numbness will take away

But it seems in humane

To feel nothing

Isn't that something?

We keep at arms length

The ones we want to be closest to

Because of the fear

we're being played for a fool

Or have come to care that

We are the ones being cruel

For me

*It was the best way to avoid the ridicule *

~~~~~~~

Though I'm broken

I'm in the process

Of making progress

**Mendings my focus

Praying with anticipation
Hoping the time never appears,
when the mind quits, the heart splits and life is held with a loosened grip.

Be Brave, Be Fearless
Be Strong, Be Bold


Lock hands, take heart and don’t let go
Reach out, speak out and let us know

Promise

When your ready
You’ll be guided towards the right road.

Taught  through criticism

Thoughts were fuelled with cynicism

Feeling love was conditioned

According to our submission

We were imprisoned

In our minds where we envisioned

Better lives it became a mission

Tears, sweat and blood were always a given

But we've risen

Above these constrictions

Freed from our prisons

To make acquisitions

To make decisions

Based on valid reason

We were raised to be different

A generation of deliverance

That would

**be of great significance

We work best at our worst

A network chain of support

Emerging from paths of destruction

We band together in order to function

I aspire to be like an artist

In the way they paint a portrait

Capturing every detail

But instead of using paint

there's only my words

instead of a canvas and paintbrush

There is only my pen and paper

Waiting to be written on

And in its own right

Take form

In becoming a work of art

Not up to the standard

That normal demanded

I was a random

An outsider abandoned

But as we grew older

Choices Became more bolder

normal became variety

Building up our society

As much as you try to reassure

my mind keeps reeling

With thoughts, sometimes obscure

*One can not always help

feeling insecure

With my thoughts I condemn

Truth is, I envy them

Because they are true to themselves

Not pretending to be anything else

A  portrayal of what I want to be

I just want to be me

**not ashamed for all to see

In order to really live

One must participate in life

Or

You'll only live to die

existing to survive

Deprived in life

~~~~~~~~~

When you live in order to survive

Yet you need to revive

The slither of life you hold inside

You must decide

Be successful and feel alive

Or

Deprive yourself and be unsatisfied

**

sometimes we live only to exist, waiting for something to give meanings to our lives

*We need to remember we are solely responsible for our own happiness and we chose what brings meaning into our lives

Searching for missing possessions

We were directed

To

The lost and found

There  items waited to be collected

Items that owners neglected

Forgotten For years

Left  unprotected

the lost and found

Didn't simply end in the lost and found

But within the world

There were a collective group of people

A division between

Those who are lost

And those who are found

~~~~~

Don't take much to shatter,
what's already bruised & battered.
Cant say "no offence intended"
Cause the content of the next sentence
you spew,  you know wont flatter.

The intention is to hurt.
Grind your target into dirt.
Passed off as a joke
****, felt my self confidence just broke.

Putting in all that work
takes courage to believe in your self worth
only to have people on a mission
sharing all their criticism
non-constructive just destructive
making you question all decisions
till the mind can only think in tunnel vision

brings you to the point when your alone
all those affirmations become monotone
cant draw inspiration cause all feeling has turned to stone
Some take it to heart till all they long for is to turn into bone

Sometimes my words escape

And I make mistakes

In what I wanted to say

I hope that's okay

Especially when I say

Go away

what I'm really saying is?

*please stay

It saddens me

You don't believe

Your someone worth loving

*Your loveable to me

Through time

I came to find

My biggest enemy

Was To be no one else  

But myself

For i chose how **i dealt

With the way i felt

the Words do not thrive
Spoken with derision  
its the lack of ambition
no will, no way, no drive

Hope to inspire. I try.
All ideas have shriveled up, fallen away and died.
Washed up, gone away with the tide.
Wasting away, waiting here, biding my time.
Pray the words come back, A treasure I seek to find.

From the moment of impact

I knew things would be different

I try to pretend there was no difference

But in an instant

Everything became distant

Our lives were forever changed

Never to be the same

As the moment of impact claimed

And took you away

Id live to see another day

Forced To go our separate ways

In which you die

In which i live

i might as well have died with you

*Now i live only to miss you

I can't help but notice

That the things worth noticing

Are things that go unnoticed  

Word of advice

Change your focus

Filter out the useless bogus

Notice the unnoticed

sit and stare

My Mind impaired

Emotions not there

Nobody dares

To come near

They fear

They'd make a tear

Rip me to shreds

Impossible if nothings there

Im to numb to care

One, Was all it took

One that **didn't overlook

What everyone else would

One was a revolution

Provider to solution

One made a difference

Through resistance and persistence

Qualities rare in existence

To the outcasts*

Do what it takes to outlast

The seemingly endless backlash

You were made to surpass

All the useless trash

~~~~~~~~

Don't forget that some of the worlds greatest figures were outcasts who changed the world because they were different.

They saw the world differently

And they had courage to be and stay different even when branded as an "outcast"

The blame I own

Give excuses to deny it

i won't

Say lies to hide it

I don't

Cause that behaviour I don't condone

Just One question for you though...

**are you willing to take credit for blame of your own?

I once believed

perfection was beauty

But it took me years

To finally see

That perfection is flaws

Just worn beautifully

As smart as we try to be

We're prone to idiocy

So I apologise in advance

Hope you'll Forgive me

For my stupidity

A dangerous path towards failure

Do yourself a favour

Work on your behaviour

And be your own saviour

We can't always afford

Reckless behaviour

*especially at the cost of a life

When sadness becomes a burden

Consumed by how hard were all hurting

Eyes will let loose a flood

Body will suffer from loss of blood

Smashing things up

Because I'm not that tough

Sinking to the ground

I'll drown

Yet in the aftermath

When past has passed

I'll find peace in tears

Refreshed to see all is clear

Scars

Became like jail bars

Trapping us within its confines

Slowly Being De-humanised

In the public eye

Because they only saw a living landmine

But

I learned that

I

Had no need to deny

What's mine

For the public is blind

to see, scars don't define

They simply tell a story line

Intertwined

With the scarred design

Spent a lifetime

searching for a purpose

Only to figure

That the purpose

For a life time

Would be to **make one

Worth pursuing

When you let the mind debate

The things you distaste

About yourself, what a waste

Foolish to take the bait

Failing to contemplate

The fact were letting self hate dictate

Our lives, sealing fate

~~~~~

The act of breathing is a struggle

When were sinking

Because we're drowning

With all our thinking

If you want a way out

You need to learn to start swimming

As daylight thins

As the night closes in

People retreat into homes

Feeling the protests of aching bones

Voices whisper in hushed tones

Laying down our heads

Putting our bodies to rest

Slowing down of breath

Calm beating chest

Sleep soon follows in step

The smallest of gestures

Can hold the biggest measure

Of ones love

And ones heart

For all that I am aches.
For all I must forsake.
It is the unfortunate. Destined fate.
The final moment, we do not wake.
When the time comes, you will break.
When the time comes, let go of keepsake.
When the time comes, rebuild and remake.
Knowing you go on gives peace in mind.
Knowing you will be strong keeps my spirit alive.
If these are my last words to be made known.
Let it be known I am overcome in an abundance of love.
Let be known that the abundance of Love I return.
For eternity x infinity.