Some moments I am here,
In the present time,
But other times I flash back,
Without no reason or rhyme.

Sometimes I can see so vividly,
The traumas of my life.
And sometimes I find myself once again,
Holding a knife.

In these moments there are times I freeze,
Like I have seen a ghost.
How could I possibly forget,
About the ones I love the most.

My past holds many demons,
Some I have yet to face.
I just wish there was something,
To make these memories erase.

I was a victim of bullying,
Of ****** assault, domestic violence and ****.
A girl who had to grow up fast to help take care of her family. I put so much into every bit of work I have ever done, trying to forget the pain of my past. But parts of it always seem to show back up and shake me until I can't breathe. I have lost who I am and I'm trying so hard to find her. But one thing I do know I am is a mother and partner, and I can't let my past beat me. But easier said than done. I will continue to fight everyday and hopefully make peace with my demons. But until then this is my life. Living with PTSD

No matter the cost,
No matter the price,
We will always want to give,
But here is my advice.

No matter how hard we work,
Or how hard we try,
There will always be something out of reach.
Something we cannot buy.

But in these wishes we forget,
Why we purchase things.
We give in order to receive smiles and love,
Like giving diamond rings.

We all forget that the happiness is already there,
While we spend time with those that we love.
Never forget it's the thought that counts,
Because one day our loved ones will be looking down from above.

Love is free

Pain is something we all feel,
At some point down the line.
It can make us want to give up,
But we don't have to this time.

It can make us feel like we're drowning,
Beneath our sea of sorrows.
But what keeps us strong is rising to the surface,
Never forgetting to breathe.

It's okay to ask for help,
If you feel you cannot swim.
The sea of life is treacherous,
And I don't say this on a wim.

The important thing is to never keep these deep emotions bottled up inside.
For one day you may explode like a grenade,
And turn into someone that you do not recognize.

Never be ashamed of being sad, angry or confused,
As that is a part of life.
It is how we turn the pain into positivity,
That helps us overcome our strife.❤

I heard three words today,
Words I never knew were true.
The words that made me smile,
Which were I love you.

I had been knocked down,
Time and time again.
I never knew this would happen,
Until our lives together began.

You gave me hope again,
And showed me what to do.
Sometimes all you need is someone,
To hold you close and say

        I Love You <3

I have had to take a break,
From writing about my life.
So much has been going on,
I finally put down the knife.

I had my little girl,
Who changed my life forver.
She gave me hope that I could heal my wounds,
And to give up never.

Me and her father drifted apart,
Due to domestic abuse.
I couldn't let myself fall backwards,
To once again tying a noose.

I walked away to protect my daughter,
In any way possibly needed.
And in walking away I found someone better,
Someone to show me I wasn't defeated.

He has a son from his previous relationship,
And I couldn't have been more glad.
To watch him taking care of my daughter as his own,
And meeting his little lad.

My new partner stood by me in court,
As I fought for my little girl.
Watching as if she were his own,
In a crazy whirl.

Fast forward to this moment,
Years after all is said and done.
We are now a happy family of three,
With our now two year old son.

Everything happens for a reason,
Some good and some scary.
But we can come back from it,
And we do not need to wary.

This is my life so far,
My reason for stepping back.
I needed to clear my head,
And get my life back on track.

But now I stand her a warrior,
A fighter who never quit.
I stand here a proud mother,
And my fire for writing, is once again lit.

I know that it has been awhile,
Since I sat down to write.
Because now my life is soaring,
High just like a kite.

Now I am a fiance,
And a mother to a daughter.
Everything is looking up,
Even though I thought I could go no farther.

We have our own apartment,
Paying our own bills.
No more living with parent,
Just us at our own free will.  

Our little girl is now 6 months,
And time is going fast.
No more remembering the bad times,
No more living in the past.

Within me is a being,
That I cannot yet see.
A child growing day by day,
A gift to my fiance and me.

We may be scared,
And we may be stressed.
But we need to work hard,
To give our child the best.

The child may have surprised us,
But I wouldn't change a thing.
Bringing life into the world is magic,
And in a great way, mesmerizing.

I was once a girl,
Hidden by my self hate.
After the pain, I hid away,
Until I found my mate.

He lifted me out of my suffering,
And opened up my eyes.
That I am truly amazing,
And I have no need to hide.

He gave me back my confidence,
And makes me so happy I could sing,
He is my light and my muse,
And his name is Brandon King.

Love you baby <3 :-)

There are two types of beauty in the world. The beauty you see in yourself and the beauty you see in others.

Being intoxicated is,
A gift and a curse.
One that can result in forgetfulness,
Or riding in a hearse.

You can see unseen beauty,
Beneath the human skin.
You can see different colors,
Or maybe want to travel to Berlin.

It is hard to say how strange,
How it feels to be drunk.
Sometimes it feels amazing,
Other times it feels bunk.

There are always ways to improve,
Who you really are.
You don't have to always be the same,
To shine just like a star.

You can reinvent yourself,
In more ways than one.
But the changes you are making,
Will never be done.

Your personally changes,
Each day that you grow older.
As long as you try your best,
You can destroy your problems like a bolder.

So try and reinvent yourself,
And change yourself for the better.
It will help you find yourself along the way.
And you can be your own trendsetter.

All I can do is sit here,
While you're in the operating room.
Thinking about our love,
Hoping you'll be out soon.

I have no idea why or how,
This happened has to you.
Why your appendix chose now,
I haven't got a clue.

Just know that I am waiting here,
In this waiting room,
Waiting for you to be safe and well,
To bring you back home soon.

I hope you know that we are bound,
By an unbreakable force.
I will be by your side through this,
To help you get back on your horse.

I stayed with you here overnight,
And I will not leave you now.
You will never be alone in pain,
Do you know how?

I will never leave your side,
Even if it means death or life.
I want you to know that I love you,
And I will help you overcome your strife :-)

The scars may fade but the memories still remain

When you are sick,
Everything seems harder to do.
That you are moving slower,
Don't you think that's true?

When you look across the lake,
What do you truly see.
Do you see a body of water,
Or inspiration so to speak.

It's all about what cannot be seen,
Way beyond first glance.
Maybe you see your friend across,
Doing a little dance.

Maybe you think about,
What lies beneath the lake.
A fish sitting at a table,
Eating a piece of cake.

It does not have to exist in nature,
It just needs to exist to you.
Just get out there and write,
Inspiration is waiting to find you.

Sometimes it is hard,
To understand the things,
Going through the mind,
When the heart sings.

Never let yourself,
Be taken by surprise.
For all you know the day may come,
Where you have to say goodbye.

I've never been hurt this way before,
Before that very night.
When everything became a blur,
And you went out of sight.

I think because I love you so much,
Is the reason it hurts so much when we fight.
I never meant to hurt you at all,
And now I'm sitting to write.

To write an apology,
In hopes that you'll forgive me.
All I want is to forget yesterday,
And to use the key.

I gave you the key to my heart,
Because I love you dearly.
Now's the time to unlock my heart,
I mean this sincerely.

Whenever I say I love you,
You say that you love me too.
I believe it every time,
That your love for me is true.

We shouldn't have fought that way,
Not in this life time or the next.
I love you too much not to apologize,
And leave you feeling vexed.

I am so so sorry,
For everything I said.
I hope you will forgive me,
Is going through my head.

I know this poem isn't much,
But it says what I wanted to say.
My love for you continues to grow,
Each and every day.

You can't keep waiting,
For that very special time.
You just need to go for it,
Which is why I wrote this rhyme.

When times get hard,
When times get rough.
When times get stressful,
You need to be tough.

You need to stand tall,
Be sure to stand your ground.
Make sure to smile,
To brighten the world around.

No matter what you go through,
You will never be alone.
Find that single light in the darkness,
And don't let your heart be stone.

You will one day make it,
Right out of the sorrow.
Live as if you were dying,
And won't make it to tomorrow.

She had a canvas and a paintbrush, but the canvas was her skin and the paintbrush was a blade.

How many children have to suffer,
Each and every year?
Being abandoned by their families,
And shedding many years.

They should never feel as though,
They have no place at home.
No place they feel welcome,
That is why many roam.

Roam around the streets,
Abandoned in the cold.
All left to wonder,
Why were they told.

Told to leave this world,
And just go wall away.
But this is something,
That we should never say.

Everyone deserves to be loved,
And to have a place to be.
To be cared for all the time,
Even overseas.

Does anyone truly know,
The meaning behind the thread?
It represents fourteen women,
Who as of December 6 lay dead.

We should all take time to remember,
All the lives that were lost.
To appreciate the lives they lived,
Because their lives were cost.

Violence against women is wrong,
As everyone should see.
We are all equal in all ways,
Which is how things need to be.

We live in a time of war,
Of suffering and of pain.
We forget to be united,
And that is just insane.

We should be united,
With our family and each friend.
As they march into battle,
And fight until the end.

We must continue to be united,
To the end of that dark cave.
Continue to be united,
Way beyond the grave.

Always remember that no matter what troubles you face, no matter how many people try and tell you that you will never be good enough, you are amazing in every way. Nobody is perfect because no one is the same. It is our flaws and good qualities combined that make us who we are. Never forget that you are incredible. NO MATTER WHAT :-)

Your head may tell you one thing but your heart is telling you another. The only thing to do is to listen to your heart. Do what you want to do. You need to please yourself before you attempt to please anyone else.

You're always going to be,
The person that I fell for.
I wish that I could undo,
The pain I put you through before.

I love you so much more,
Than I have ever loved anyone.
We are star crossed lovers,
And that you are my someone.

If I could undo,
The times I made you cry,
I would do it in an instance,
And I will until I die.

Three months ago today,
I came face to face with you.
Felt a strong connection,
That I knew inside was true.

I never knew what it meant,
To truly be in love.
Until that day we came together,
In peace just like a dove.

You opened my eyes,
To what I couldn't see.
That I am really incredible,
Just like you are to me.

Being with you means everything,
More than words will ever say.
You light up my world,
Every single day.

To me you are my muse,
The reason I am here.
The reason I wake up each morning,
And never want to shed a tear.

Each day that we're together,
I feel even closer to you.
You are the one who holds the key,
The key to my heart that's true.

You cannot always trust a pretty face. What you see as an angel, may be a demon hiding beneath the skin.

You can't just write a poem,
With no meaning behind its lines.
It can be about your happiness,
Or what goes on during your troubled times.

I personally can't write about a tree,
Without there being a story.
Such as me climbing up one,
Or an animal that lives in the tree.

A poem is nothing without morales,
And that is how it is.
There always must be meaning,
And I don't mean this as a dis.

I have never felt this way before,
Like I am on top of the universe.
That I am filled with love,
More love than what fits in a purse.

I am taken over by love,
In more ways than I can say.
My love for you continues to grow,
Every single day.

From that moment that we kissed,
I felt instantly connected to you.
And everyday since that day,
I have and will always say,

I LOVE YOU

You are supposed to be my father,
To support me no matter what.
But all you do is put me down,
And it makes me want to cut.

Ever since we met,
The whole world seems brighter.
That the darkness inside of me,
Finally became lighter.

You showed me what love means.
And healed my broken heart.
You did for me what no one could,
And showed me I'm a work of art.

I now know why it always felt,
Something was missing from my life.
Exactly why I never succeeded,
When I was holding that knife.

I was meant to find you one day,
And I'm glad I finally did.
My past demons are now history,
And this I shalt not kid.

You are the love of my life,
And that will never change.
I see you as incredible,
Even if you think it's strange.

You are my other half,
Who I was destined to find.
You make me feel complete,
And to me you are one of a kind.

Life has many ways of hurting us,
But it is for a good reason.
Even though we may see it as,
Harmful, inhuman or treason.

No matter what happens,
We must never give up.
All of us should join together,
Against this world that's so corrupt.

Sometimes things spiral out of control,
And seem like they'll never end.
So this is a message to life itself,
That we must all hit send.

There are millions of stars out there but we need to look beyond the horizon for our one and only star.

Beauty is everywhere,
And some is hard to see.
Sometimes you don't know,
How beautiful you are to me.

Beauty is in everything,
In people and in art.
To take some time to notice it,
Is where you need to start.

You will always be beautiful,
No matter what people say.
Beauty is inside of you,
Every single day.

My heart was always looking for,
Someone to mend the crack.
To make me feel that others care,
And get me back on track.

I dealt with so much pain,
So many times before.
Life before I met you,
Was always such a bore.

I love you so much more,
Than words could ever say,
And incase you didn't know,
I think about you everyday.

Words could never fully describe
the way you make me feel.
I just cannot explain it
because it just feels so real.
You always make me smile
and that smile goes on for a million miles.
There is only one way to say how it is true
and that is to say I love you.
I don't care how long it takes,
For us to finish this race.
I truly love you,
And I hope that you love me too.

You may sometimes feel as though that your life has no meaning. That no matter how many times you try to help someone, you always look like the bad guy. All I can say, is keep your eyes open because no matter what, you are in control of your own destiny, whether you believe it or not. Nothing is permanent. Nothing is set in stone. Even permanent marker eventually washes away. So we should always keep our eyes open because if we walk through life blind, we will miss all the beauty along the journey.

Never let anyone take away what you worked so hard to achieve because in the end, it is all yours.

All of us on hello poetry write with a purpose. The words being what we are feeling. That there is truth behind our words. Our words are what we express ourselves through and we should continue to this because one day, our words may be the legacy that we leave behind.

It's that time of year again,
To write those dreaded exams.
The tests that could determine a pass or fail,
Our futures are at hand.

We are told to study,
And always get enough sleep.
But how can we do it all,
Without beginning to weep.

Well all we can do is try,
To do our very best.
All we can do is go for it,
It is not the end yet.

People always say that suicide is a coward's way out, but what's cowardly are the people who hide behind screen names to hurt others. To make them feel trapped to the point to where they feel that there is no escape. So those people who ended their lives over cyber bullying, were not being cowards. They did what they thought they had to do to be free.

Power is only an asset if one uses it wisely

Pain cannot exist without love,
And love can't exist without pain.
They go hand in hand which we should never forget <3

Life is like a story book.
Every chapter has a new beginning.

Same stress,
Same heartache and pain.
Same old struggles,
Just another day.

What does it mean,
To have a purpose in life?
What does it mean,
To not live every day holding a knife?

I wish that I were great,
That I had a place to fit in.
That I could catch a break,
That one day I may win.

Goodbyes are always hard,
So hard to say the words.
Too bad I can't just cherp them out,
Just like a little bird.

I never thought that I'd be here,
Sitting at my desk.
Writing a letter of goodbyes,
To all whom must be left.

Then I leave it on my desk,
And climb up on the chair.
And with that rope around my neck,
I jump into the air.

With that I am gone,
Hanging from the ceiling fan.
What have I accomplished,
Why have I ran?

I unleashed a wave of pain,
On all the people that I cared for.
What on earth have I done,
I can't go back through that door.

Every night it seems,
Like I cry myself to sleep.
As though I don't belong,
I barely make a peep.

Something inside is telling me,
You should end it all.
That is when I take the rope,
And run straight down the hall.

I run right out the door,
Straight to the big oak tree.
Tie the rope, then climb to the top,
Then that is the end of me.

What was I thinking,
Last night before bed?
Doing homework and chores,
Wishing I were dead.

I thought that I could end it all,
With that scarf around my neck.
To just hang dead in my closet,
And have no more regrets.

But then my mom woke up,
And came right down the hall.
So I untied my scarf,
And I began to fall.

I said that I fell out of bed,
There were no questions asked.
I had no clue what to do,
Not knowing my next task.