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panting for air,
running to nowhere

out of breath,
still trying to dig what's underneath

what's left is longing,
a soul seeking,
a mind wandering
let hearts be hurting

after the sorrow and tears
laying down walls and fears

let the fragile heart break
let the shakeable shake
no more trails of fake and ache

wait 'til the void opens
the emptiness awakens

beauty in nothing,
space for new fillings
throwing what's rotting

no longer chasing
finally, resting and stopping
It's okay to pause. It's okay to find yourself. It's okay to be real and raw. In the emptiness, we can start over again.
Par khadka Apr 15
Just a bug here i am
Wishing to fly with no wings
Stuck in these four walls cocoon
Waiting for the change future brings
Dreaming of the places I will reach
With those new shiny spotted wings

Alas!Am I waiting too long or I am just dreamer dud
Am I just a bug boiled in cocoon never to fly
Just a silk showpiece somewhere in someone's cupboard
At the corner where it doesnot even matches the colour codes
Ignored, dusty, never to be reached, never to be felt

I am just a bug wishing to fly
With no wings dreaming of sky
Alice Nov 2019
What was it that I wanted to find?
Was it your love, or was it just a distraction from my daily grind?
I have felt so much it's beyond words could say;
In the past few months, I have found it so hard to keep my feelings at bay.

I waited each day for you hoping my love you would find;
And that would, in turn, ease my crazy, restless mind!
I hoped, I begged, I prayed, and I cried;
I waited till all my wet tears had dried.
Each day I carried my heart on my sleeve;
Prayed to God that in my love, you would believe.
But all my attempts went in vain;
Each day you crushed my hopes and left me in agonizing pain.
The more you ignored me, the more I followed you.
The more you hated me, the more I thought I loved you!
This clash of feelings went on for days;
I felt like a prisoner in chains, like a rat in a maze;
Then slowly but surely my agony diminished;
You loved me not of that; I became convinced!
I was crushed, but I had accepted my fate;
I knew there would be no one waiting for me at the gate.
I was sad, but there was peaceful calm above;
I didn't have to ponder for hours about whether you would accept my love.

Then one morning just out of the blue;
You came to me and said about my tender feelings, you knew!
At last, you said the words I was waiting to hear,
I thought I would feel an inexplicable joy, my dear.
But I didn't quite know what was going wrong?
I felt nothing....just nothing at all!
And then it dawned on me this revelation
It's wasn't you love that I wanted, it was your attention.
I was searching for myself outside of me,
And I thought somehow by finding you I would be set free.
But now I know I was just a lost soul;
I was a deer in headlights...I was a fish in a bowl.
At that moment when you confessed to me your feelings;
I should have felt love, but I felt old wounds healing!
I had found the solution to the problem I myself had created;
I realized it wasn't you that I loved, it was me that I had hated!
Samantha Starr Oct 2019
Can you help me?
I'm trying to find my place
What I thought was found was always lost
These people aren't real
Just pieces on a board game
Pushing me around as if they know who I am
But I am unlike these players
I don't play games

Can you help me?
I'm trying to escape this dream
I'm not awake but I clearly see
That these demons are killing me
I want to leave but these chains protect me
From seeing who I am truly meant to be
nandhitha Jun 2019
A movie where you lose yourself on the way of finding someone.
~the end!
Marii Dec 2018
I'm a poor psych student majoring in emotions- lots of them- and awkward missed opportunities.

I guess you could say I'm unstable and in need of a massive outlet

Or I just need to grow up...
Kryptonite Dec 2018
breathe in
put your lids to rest
would you dare to
hold in the fear
of all forgotten

put your lids to rest
do you hear waves
do you fear the dark
within the clouded mind
your harrowing thoughts

beneath those vivid images
you so desperately escape
lies quietly fluttering dreams
and if you are willing to see
within a shrouded cave below

quaint a little box,
innocently awaiting finding
familiarity in its sense
its owner long gone
holding the spark
you search.
Jeff Gaines Jul 2018
Hello everyone,

  I'm so very sorry … I feel horrible doing this, but I have no choice. You see, I have published my first book on Amazon/Kindle! This piece (and many others) had to be taken down because they do not allow published material to be available online for free. (Go figure) I wanted to leave the shell of the posts because I felt compelled to leave all your helpful and loving comments. (Silly sentimental, I know), but I also didn't want to just have the pieces disappear without an explanation. I feel bad enough as it is!

  I owe ALL of you so, SO much for all of your reads, love, and support. It was YOU that gave me the gumption to FINALLY get off my **** and publish! Thank you all for the warm comments, camaraderie, and encouragement! I will still be here, reading, uploading and just being the Rascal that I am. How could I EVER leave you guys?

  The book is called “The Way I See It – FictionPhilosophySoul Food” and it will be FREE for the first few days on Kindle Select, so watch for it, if you are interested. I hope that you go and grab it. If you do, I would also hope that you find it worthy, you would leave me a good review. That will help me get in the public eye! Soon afterwards (2-3 days or so), it will be available in paperback. I will be building my Author page tonight (12/21/2018) and my website finished first thing Monday!

Find the book(s) here: www.amazon.com/author/jeff.gaines

Or find the book(s), and all about me, here: www.JeffGaines.world

  Soon after, I also hope to have my first novel (a supernatural thriller), called “Wanderer” available as well!

  Wish me luck!

                                Big, Biggest Love,

                                               Jeff Gaines
Being a Lighting Designer/Director, I was blessed with landing an ongoing gig with a Producer from Jamaica that put on several large Festivals in Jamaica, The Bahamas and several other Caribbean Islands. For 5 or 6 years, I found myself going to Jamaica 5 times a year or more and several other islands the rest of the year.

Mostly we did huge, multi-day festivals Like Sumfest, or Sting or the Air Jamaica Jazz/Blues Fest. But we also did The Bahaman Jazz/Blues Fest and several Comedians, like Sinbad, on other Islands.

I was also the first guy to do "Rock-n-Roll-type" lighting for Carnival in Trinidad. Prior to my friend Scott and I, they had only used what we call "Flat White Television Light". We brought all the tricks and Moving Lights and Strobes and Fog and well ... that's yet aanother story for another time. The people LOVED it ... and to this day, THAT is how it's done there every year. It makes me SO proud.

This story is about how Jamaica touched me. It helped me find myself in a way I never saw coming. You see, I had gone there on vacation several times before I started going there for work. This essay is mostly about what happened to me in those first trips, before I was going for work. It really is a mystical place and and is very dear to me, as you just read.
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