She is a storm, an earthquake
Loud and thunderous.
That relentless, fervent soul,
Spitting flames that burn you whole. Dreamer, believer
With roots that entwine deep with the ground
And branches that tower high above.
She can walk on fire,
Leave you breathless for more.
She was once you and me,
Trading dreams for convenience,
Love for dignity,
And freedom for survival.
But for every chain that bound her,
Every cage that held her,
She rose higher and higher.
A warrior stands under the burning sun,
And somewhere beyond the valley,
The rhythm of a revolution
Begs to be heard.
She has a voice now,
And she will never stop.

I keep my words to myself.
Hidden, locked,
Buried under the earth.
Quiet, they say.
Don't you ever want to talk to us?
Open your soul to us?

I do.
All
The
Time.

And in moments like these,
A few may escape.
As poetry,
That barely tells the story.
As poetry,
That rarely makes sense.
Dented,
Tainted,
Stuttering,
Like a broken record.

But are you listening?

I look at her,
her sad eyes and juvenile wrinkles.
A face riddled with scars and red bumps,
interweaved with healed and unhealed flesh.
I wish I didn't care about what I see in the mirror.

I wish I didn't care about how my skin feels against my fingertips,
or what I see when I search for my reflection.

They talk about loving yourself
but how can I,
when all I see is a hideous monster?
I know,
I know.
There are sorrows much painful,
woes more pertinent than mine.
But how do I tell my mind to stop crucifying itself?

How do I diffuse these electrical impulses,
from my eyes to my brain,
carrying an image of my face and interpreting it as
unnatural,
ugly,
pitiful?

I wish I didn't spend so much time,
trying to wash this dirt off me,
trying to pick and probe at the scabs,
when I know it's a part of me,
arising from me.

How do I stop myself from judging my worth
as the sum of these scars
that lie skin deep?

Was it so long ago
Under the old oak we built our dreams?
So tiny, we were,
The world seemed like such a big place
For two dream chasers, like us.

Was it a thousand years ago
When you in all your innocence
Said that you'd check under the bed
In all your childish valor, and clear me of my fears?

Do you remember,
When we sat by the cold stream
With the water running through our feet,
How you picked up a few daisies
And crowned me as the queen?
And how I picked up a stick
And made you my knight of honor?

Remember running back home,
When it got too late,
Scared your old man, a drunk,
Will beat your Ma and make you cry?
How when I waved good bye from the next door,
All I hoped was that you'll make it out alive
The next day.

Was it so long back,
When we lay in green fields
And looked up to the blue skies,
Dreaming one day, we'll make it up there
And never have to look back in tears?

Flying paper planes and trying to catch our dreams
Doesn't seem so long now,
That you said goodbye
*And made it first to what lay beyond the blue skies.

Its a little dark here
This illusion I created for myself.
This place I thought was perfect
Has turned into my nightmare.
My fears are bigger
And are haunting me as I cry.
I see a cathedral at the end of the road
With the three moons rising behind.
I walk down the lane
In shuffling steps of fright.
There's the creak of the gates
As I open and enter in to the night.
My life on halt
I'd like this to end
I no longer know myself.
The sky is clouded
There's lightening in the distance,
The only light, from the three heavenly bodies
Looming in the sky
I feel the eyes of a beast
Watching me as I enter.
I pull the door open
Oblivious to what lies inside
Feel the sweat down my back
And the lump in my throat .

A bright light bursts from inside
Blinding my eyes.
I catch myself from falling
From the mere impact.
There's an altar at the centre
I make my way through .
There lies my body
Lying like a living sacrifice.
I know not the meaning
Nor the reason
For the tears in my eyes.
All I know is my illusion was this light
The darkness outside trying to invade,
My only hope of being all I am.
I am not the darkness outside
Nor am I ruled by my fears.
My light prevails through all dark times
And keeps the faith in myself intact.
Here, where the light shines,
This is my Utopia.

What do you see, old man, sitting alone by the fire?
Heartless world of scorn and hurt , treasuring hate like a philosopher's stone.
Judgment passed, greybeard by the road,
Must be a thief, waiting for the night to dawn.

His sunken eyes know the way into the dark
As evil forbearing comes with the folds in his hand
Wrinkles on his face, countless tales to recount
How he crept thru the darkness, still and quietly,
And watched as the baby cried with fear.

How shallow this world, with its looks and half learnt lessons,
The old man by the fire, his tales of a world so far from this.
Child, learner, lover and father
His sunken eyes reveal the times he's forgiven with a heart, so grand.
With his very hands, he's cared and worked for the ones he loved
His wrinkles recount tales of a life well served.

But now, he sits, alone by the fire,
Disowned, refused,
Unwanted, forgotten.
Caught up in the web of the world,
Buried in the sands of time.

Three feathers in her hat,
Highbrow society
Her nose held high
Her cheeks blushed pink.
Three feathers in her hat
Heels clicking loudly
Bags tumble in her hands
As she makes her way out.

One feather out,
Picked up by the wind,
Landed in a trash bin
Out in the city dump.
So much for all the luxury
That it couldn't have a go at.

Two feathers in her hat
Highbrow society
Her hair tucked neatly
With bob pins and bands.
Two feathers in her hat,
Won't let her hair out free
At home she dwells
Under her father's authority.

Second feather flies off in the air
Out beyond the harbor
And lands gently on a dock.
Unlike herself, this one found a way
To sail away in to the seas.

One feather in her hat
Looking miserably lonely
All that gold ain't glitter
Her mom never told.
One feather in her hat
Relentlessly waiting to go
That one feather in her hat
Made all the fashion statement
There was to know.

Days on end I have seen you hurt,
Waging battles alone, against the world.
Poised, gentle, barely holding it in.
Fiery, brave, but scared and tainted.

I come closer, you fly further.
My fingers reach out, you slip away,
Forever running,
Forever hiding.
I realise you don't need me
But it breaks my heart not to stay.

Some days I dream of tearing down your walls,
Maybe break open a window into your soul.
"Let me in", I say, "Let me hold you even if the pain resents."
"How can I let you love me", she says, "when I'm only learning how to love myself?"

Eyes.*  Locked.
Gaze.  Fixed.
Count to ten.
Time slows.
Breathing.  Rapid.
In this moment,
The world.  Lost.
Hearts.  Beat.
Silence resounds.
Fingers touch.
Time stops.
Lips quiver.
Lean in.
Closer.
*Kiss.

In silence, we left every sentence unfinished.
*As the dawn came
Every word we never spoke
Lingered like the mist.
On your lips, I kissed
Hoping to light a spark.
And as you looked into my eyes
All there was to our story
Died with our silence.
Rising and falling chests,
Trembling hands,
Let it fall to our sides,
Let our bodies rekindle with our souls.
Why do we fight this if we can let go?
Why do we fight for what was lost
*So long ago?

And she sang - sang to the night
To the moon hiding behind the clouds...*

Waters receding, tears fall like ink,
Damaged within, like a withering flower,
She wrote pages upon pages,
Day and night, night and day.
And as the fire calmed down to embers,
And as the embers forgot the warmth.
Her eyes wet from tears,
Like rain, they fell to the ground.
A quiet girl once sang by the shore,
Her voice sang lovely, the heavens adored.
And when the night crept in as silent as the wind,
Watching the lights in the distance,
She sat wondering why she was alone.
Within those pages,
This poem she wrote, her dreams, she etched between lines,
And her thoughts she painted without err.
Her words gave life,
Her words added color.
Her soul saw love,
Through another pair of eyes.
Her melancholia was the source,
To every picture painted,
To every succinct detail,
About the life around.
This poem she wrote, among the many,
In those pages she filled without fail.
This was her song to sing,
Her story to tell.
This poem she wrote,
About herself,
As she sat by the dying fire,
Looking out at the moonlight,
Dancing with the waves,
Kissing the shore.

I am haunted by my fears even in the morning sun
And irrevocably consumed by some daunting shadow.
At night they come in forms of terror
And in my disdain I cry and shiver.
Lost in an illusion my mind sowed
And in that realm I die a thousand times.
Tethered to life by a thin rope
An infinite foot fall to the unknown.
Those lines are waiting to break
The fog rising and the lights dimming,
Darkness engulfs and seeps into my blood.
Now in its arms I find solace
This paranoia feels like home.
This darkness sparking a storm,
And with the storm comes chaos
And in that chaos, *my mind revels.

Words fail with skip of a beat
Soft falling snow
Singing of our faceless defeat.
Walking through rough waters,
I see your arms stretch out.
Rain pours right through us
Drenched in shadows
We pray for gods to hear.
Lost to whispers
That reign our sleep.
I see your arms stretch out
And ache for me.
Words fail like an unsung song
In the night I hear
Your story, sad and forlorn.
Like the setting sun
See its sink as low as our own.
Words fail knowing,
You were once all I had.
Through the darkness
I hear your voice call out,
Here today, gone tomorrow.
Words fail
I lay here in bed
Your name is all I have
Outside, the rain pours
And your name is all I have.

In the silence of the night,
You and I alone by the fire.
This rift between us, clear as day,
But cold as our hearts.

In tears, we learned love,
In pain, we fought the odds.
But tonight in this silence
We let ourselves undone.

Blow out these candles,
Let me see you in the dark.
All along, we held ourselves back,
Now let our hearts decide.

Blow out the candles,
Let me look into your eyes.
In this darkness, I'll find,
What we lost along the path.

Blow out the candles,
Its just you and me, tonight.
In this silence we'll lie still
And let our souls entwine.

In moments like these,
*His breathless whisper,
Silent and comforting.
Soft eyes, believing,
Words like music,
That flow in a soothing ebb,
Ever so ecstatic in form.


If only I could know.


And in that tide of pure happiness,
That fraction of a second,
Wherein only the purest joy exists.
When our eyes meet,
To be known, to matter.
For that brief moment of time,
When the veil drops,
And he peers into my soul.
The warmth in his eyes,
Nulling out everything
That makes life miserable.
To know that at that moment,
My existence matters,
And I'm not someone,
In
The
**Background.

Its been a year,
Held up in a tiny space,
My head's too small
For everything I've been thru
Just yearning to let it go.
Somewhere along the way,
I wrote this song for you.
It's been a year,
Feels like forever.
Wonder what it feels like
To live life as you do.
Do you ever think
How it feels like, on this side?
Do you ever wonder,
How the pain never lets go?
Its been a year,
Counting down
To the smallest fraction of time
And here I am
Still wondering what went wrong.
Happy birthday
You were a dear friend
Yes, I wrote this for you.
You're the closest I have come
To knowing friendship
In its true form.
Guess, I can never be anymore wrong
Than I already am
About you.
Anyways, happy birthday
And God bless you.