I remember, back when I was a child.
And all that mattered was not getting caught having one too many candies.
I'd come back from an exhausting day at school, to the smell of fresh dinner and a sister ready to pester.
Sleep,wake and pretend to do homework, wait to go to school the next day, because all meant was to sit next to the boy who'd make me laugh and blush
Oh! But of course I remember the bad days. The rebellious child who could not bear to hear a 'no’, choosing to go to bed crying, only to wake up to a mother always willing to forgive.
I remember wanting to run, fly, soar, dive and all forms of escapade you can imagine. I wonder why.
Now, here I am, in the dead of the night, by my window,
With my charred lips and breaths of fire,
A parched tongue with the taste of cheap wine,
Somewhere, in an unfamiliar land.
Oh yes! I ran, I flew,
Until I lost myself to everything this realm of false hopes and white lies had to offer.
I was the girl waiting for an adventure,
The smell of pine trees and the wind in my hair.
I was the girl waiting to fall in love,
Only to find myself lying next to strange men.
I still go to bed crying, however.
Now I wake to up to an empty house in the middle of nowhere.
I play with the fumes I exhale, as another day begins,
Somehow wondering when this will all end.

Passive aggression
Filling the void.
Her voice resounds
In an endless rage.
Beware the wrath
Her mind can't restrain.
Inside her head,
She pleads in vain.
She wants to stop
She craves a change.
Her throat, sore
From her cries for help.
She can't hold her tongue
She needs to lash out.
Her body trembles
And her head throbs.
Her fury burning
Like a white hot blade.
One two three four
This needs to stop.
Five six seven eight
Self-control was never her mate.
Nine ten and a billion more
Till her breath runs out.
Placid face, decision sways
For the umpteenth time.
This is it, i need help
She says.

Because every now and then,
Someone slips away,
Passes on to never walk the earth again.
Makes you wonder, how every blessing
Needs counting, and each moment treasured.
You are here for what counts,
Time,
An unsung song for receding tides.
A breath, a whisper, before you know it you're gone.
Walk the face of earth,
A passing wind that kicks up a storm,
Or a silent contender for a game we call life.
Shallow desires, our selfish deeds and dallying with a price.
The shadows call, can you hear their song?
We dream too much to never know the day,
A day when your eyes open to the darkness,
Give in to the voices that call our names.

Will you ever wonder of the song you left?
Joyful or as silent as the beating of your heart?
Will they sing of you, a song of pride and respect?
Because like everyone that deserved to live their life thru,
You were a breath, a whisper,
A dreamer, a believer,
And now you're gone too.

I like the sound of your voice
How the wind changes to make it drift into my soul.
As pieces fall into place, together a dream it beholds
Stolen kisses are the best of all, lips meet to complete us whole.
Dreamers meet under moonlit promises, hands reach out craving,
Eyes that hold deeper revelations of the world around.
Best of all, I love the sound of your voice
Hear you sing about me, a moonlight dance of words entwined.

And He saw Her stand there,
With the wind in Her hair,
And the light dancing in Her eyes.
And He saw She was alone in a world,
That He wanted to be a part of.
And while the wind toyed,
With the strands of Her eloquent brown,
He could feel the world spin,
Much faster than He could bear.
And in it He felt there was life,
A life, He had never known.
Little did He know that He had fallen,
For the girl who used to stand there,
Just to watch Him,
While He made life His own.

I haven't looked up in a while
Neither for a god nor for the stars
I am one to walk lost among the crowd
Ghostly calls beckon me from my past
Morbid thoughts follow me into the dark
Lonely alleys drown me in desperate calls
And I search for your face, something to pull me back into the light.

I haven't smiled in the longest time
Nor have I sang our favorite song
Everything you left me with,
Still burnt into my mind,
Imprinted into every cell that makes me who I am.
And as I trace your touch across my body
Tears find their way through my scars.

Every star we named, the heavens we conquered
And the doors we unlocked with every thought, every smile
Everything I fondly remember as being close to my heart
Now, in remorse, here I am trying to bury all that
Collecting all the pieces and keeping my head held high.

I haven't looked up in a while
Neither for a god nor for the stars
Because they remind me of you.

We wander, lost and unfound
Our lives, stories untold.
Weary souls, we walk an endless road
In the light of a burning star,
We rise and fall.

You may see the universe in our eyes,
Bright stars swirling in the deepest black.
Aren't we all waiting for the same thing?
By the side of dusty roads,
Waiting for love to cease us in this moment.
And we let our hearts lust, and be wild.
Because only then are we alive.
Love is pain and pleasure,
Sadness and joy,
And everything in between,
The darkness and the light,
The wrong and the right.

Let the storms take over
And the wind howl through the night.
Let the tides rise
And the waves rush to the shore.
We are everything we've ever wanted to be,
Everything, we can ever be.

In tears, she thought to seek her prize,
Only to know in them she knew life.
Alone she wept, her dreams kept watch
Mid summer's night meant little to her now.

Set sail long ago,
Now in the middle of an ocean,
On a boat, sailing into the unknown
To chase dreams, she left home
Now, silence her true companion.

In chaos, her mind revels,
Reality obscured, between deception of sorts.
Damnation due, on a silver plate
The truth hurts to a heart living in fear.

Slowly fading, wrapped in darkness
Strangely comforting,
Drowning in black waters.
Silence maddening,  
Shadows soaring,
Her song is all that's heard.

Weeds, that's what they are.
               Walking on weeds and wilted flowers.
Thorns pierce and sear through my cover
                Pricking, tearing and hurting my pride.
Stones, hard and round
                Pelted at me with no mercy at hand.
Did you call for me from across the desert?
                Maybe it's this loneliness that wants to listen to voices.
Have I wandered off too far to find my way back?
                I feel like a destitute, no creed,  no power.
This hot wind rages like a fire, interminable,
                 Ashes to dust to finally oblivion.
No, I've lost far more than I can offer
                 Only memories exist to bind me together
I've given up far too many times to even try
                  Take me Home, I cannot put one more step yonder
Take me Homeward bound, oh swirling wind
                   Just take me Home.

The Universe sang
A song close to my heart.
And in it I lost myself
Choosing Dreams over Whispers
And Life over Death.

The Stars called out
And in their blaze
I sought to find my Light.
As I poured out my everything
I realized that You were all that I had.

The Night almost at its end
I draw your figure in the Sand.
The dark skies barely frighten me
Not more than the distance
You keep between our Hearts.

The Universe sang to me
A Song I thought I never knew.
It led me home to the prairies
Where the northern wind
Blew strong, a magic of the Stardust.

I knew the Shadows
Would one day return,
A Haunting, my dreams never fond of.
But if the Storm got too rough
I'd sing the Song the Universe sang.

And in it I'll lose myself,
Once again.
Because in it, I came to know
The only Reason that keeps me alive.
*Because in it, I found You.

If I were to give value to emotions packed away,
Locked up twice, even thrice in safety boxes
With maximum security and minimum dignity,
If I were to remember even a single moment of the time
I spent worshipping the very ground you walked,
Let alone give heed to my seemingly uncaring eyes
That craved to have the tiniest glance of you,
You will have succeeded to burn me entirely
From within, leaving scars deep enough
To be an unceasing pain for years to come.
This will I have forged, from heaven knows where,
Gives me the strength to appear unscathed and untouched,
By the very drug you are.
The essence of my being, dry and weary by your absence,
Knowing very well that I can only be scorched by everything you are.
No, you're not the tempting desire to set myself on fire,
But the very force that makes me want to be a part of the raging fire...

*You are.

I remember the days when you were but a faint echo
Far into oblivion, softer than my mother's song.

When I would yearn for your gaze as the air that fills my lung,
As needy for the bread that could feed my soul.

Sitting under the shade of spring's bloom, I turn to another page of life
You are but a quiet whisper, now my joy, in its sweetest tone.

And in ocean's tide, a lover's song to silence the storm
In the light of the rising sun, I touch your face as I find what I lost.

Time stops to this moment's own, as I lay my head on your shoulders, strong,
What pain can seek me till time's end, if by your side I am everything I dream of.

Lace and silver
Their eyes you drew.
Malicious, but lovely
Their guilt you grew.
Tempt me, they cry
Plunging into their hearts.
Now, they call
The temptress,
Your smile so wile.

I want to meet you between the pages of a book you can't put down
Maybe under the stars on a night as lovely as this one.
Create dreams that you can never dare to forget
Stir hearts with great stories of lovers lost at war.
Paint poetry with colours that are ineffable, indescribable
Lock lips at dawn and then at dusk.
I want to walk on a bed of exquisite flowers
Touch the skies and feel the earth.
But here I'll lay, among my thoughts and words
Maybe tomorrow I'll give reality a chance to impress.

This night,  these stars,
This breeze, that embraces my heart,
As it entwines with every fold of my skin,
Oh,  how I wish it was you, rather,
Here,  holding me in your arms.
May this wind carry my longing,
To where you are,
And find you in all earnest hope,
Wanting the same,
And hear my song as a whisper in the night.

In a room, with the walls painted grey,
A bed, a cupboard, a table and a chair, finds their place in its emptiness.
The curtains, of a melancholic shade, drawn shut, as if the sun burns
Wrapped in solitude, my eyes can see better in this dark.
No voices, no people, only the walls to listen to,
The stories mentioned by its inhabitants that passed through.
The grimness ever spreading, reiterating a life's worth of tales
This solitary confinement is a saving grace, as the world outside fails.
And with passing time, I chose to hide
Rather than face my fears waiting outside.
Within these grey walls,
I see a chance to be at peace with myself, until one day, the heavens whisper its time to come home.

She lies there under the sun,
A slight glisten
To add to the paleness of her skin.
Right where he left her,
In the heat of a summer morning,
Her self crumbling within.
Piece by piece,
Can't even lift herself up,
To take a stride,
To forget the nightmare.
There she lies on the ground,
Where he left her,
Like*  broken china,
*Burning under the sun.

In the silence of the night I hear myself talk,
A song, a whisper, knowing that this peace
Is the only thing sane in the chaos that surrounds,
And in this quietness, a radiant light shines within my inner self.

And as my mind finds wings, to fly out of this prison
Gracefully gliding across calm waters of a flowing river
Finding its way into the sea,
I give my thoughts freedom from the misery of life.

As the skies begin to cry with tears of devastation
All that is beautiful, needs an eulogy for being lost in our sins.
And as coal black our hearts have turned,
The spring may never greet us with open hands
The birds may never sing the song of their hearts.

Sink me in a river, chase my soul into the wilderness,
Where my breath is shallow and my thirst is never quenched.
Alas, these musings of the night will end soon
As another explosion rocks the very foundation of my faith in humanity.

Are you the harbinger of a fallen future?
Or a minstrel singing of the days of plight and sorrow?
Do you wonder how life works without remorse and torture?
Are you a dreamer, dreaming of a better tomorrow?
Will you sing something happier, a song of  blue skies and rainbows?
Maybe a mantra to turn the clock back and make everything right?
I sit here by the window, the sounds of a war raging on outside.
My days are darker now, so is the world around.

Walking back from the train station,
Holding nothing but a bag and my back,
A gripping pain to encompass and a loss of hearing,
From all the rat-tat of the engine,
An incessantly crying baby,
And a mother-in-law who felt no need
To hide her animosity with the new girl in the family.
Sweat and dust, never, ever is it the most pleasant combination.

Walking amongst the noise and talk of the town,  
Lost in a herd of rickshaws,
I left my mind to wander to the extent
Of remembering the scenes speeding past on the journey back,
The flush greenery and the intermittent glimpses of cattle,
With the uncanny uninterested look on their faces.
As the rhythmic chug-chug and the whistle utterly failed to lull my senses,
No peace attained there, but mere longing to be out and about.
And yet, out here, amongst the chai-wallas
And the shopkeepers trying to buy their way with the foreigners,
As the sun stubbornly keeping its promise to shine, on none but me,
All that kept my feet moving, was the urge to see him.

And as I think of the last time I saw his face,
Pressed against my mother's,
Tears well up, waiting to burst out.
Leaving him to grow amongst strangers,
Unfamiliarity was his bedrock,
Merely seven, only beginning to understand his way around the world.
Footsteps became faster, involuntarily,
And the heat bore no sympathy for my afflictions.

Ten years, long gone and forgotten,
Growing with the world and aging with the universe,
Amassing knowledge and nurturing a personality,
Every milestone I missed, every step I didn't take along with him,
The guilt was bearing me down,
A burden I will forever carry.

Running back home,
This prodigal daughter,
Running back to my son.
Give me peace, my mind,
For this life I chose,
Was bitter and hard.
What I left behind,
Is what every night, remainder,
Haunts me, in the dark.

Lights all around.
Swirls of color
Under the sun.
An iridescent luxury
For joyous parade.
Ripples of emotions
Translating into
A chromatic tale.
Pass me some sunshine.
Under the rainbow,
This life is wonderful

Midnight strolls and holding hands
Reckless love, under the streetlights.
Kissing me softly and pulling me tight.
We're young and beautiful
In this moment our hearts collide.

"Robert, what do you see, tell me
Out beyond those high mountains
Underneath the starry sea?
Can you really eye that city
The one mother told us about?"
"Sister, calm your urge, its been awhile
Maybe get a shut eye, and then
Maybe back to your silly dreams"
"But.. But.. Brother, you've grown,
Grown over the summer,
Really, only you can see,
I've been meaning to climb the wall,
If you plan to be so mean to me"
"Tiffany, the time isn't right,
See, I've been busting my brains out,
On that silly homework, Miss Pittypat
Handed over to me.
Maybe tomorrow, or the day after,
But till then won't you hold off
On your wall climbing strategies?"

"Say, brother! Wake up
You've been snoring too loudly
I bet you had the best sleep.
Now, come, won't you,
I've been waiting eagerly,
Today, you'll tell me,
What you see beyond the breeze!"
"Tiffany, alright,
You've been pestering me all day,
Grab my coat and yours,
Today we'll solve that mystery!"

"Careful,Robert, those branches do look weak,
Keep your eyes on your step,
Last thing I want is for you to fall, oh dear!"
"Sister! You should see this, what beauty revealed.
Mother was right, I see the lights line the sky
And I say, those aren't stars,
They're are the bright city lights,
Oh how pleasing to the eye!"
"Oh why! Why should I be so small
That I can't see the world outside
Robert, tell me, is it the most wonderful sight to see?!"
"Tiffany, sweety, I promise you'll see it one day
There, I can almost feel the lights beckon me to come away!"
"Will you go brother, away to the city?
If you do, tell me, you'll take me along with you!"

"Sister, its a fact, mother needs you here now,
Besides, you need to learn the lessons that begin at home,
Now your wings might seem clipped, but believe me,
They're not ready to fly out yet.
One day, when the time is right,
You'll find your way out.
Come join me then, I'll  be waiting, alright!"

"All that matters now is that you grow and nurture
Mature and understand.
This life, take one step at a time,
Dont grow up way ahead, and forget your innocence,
Increase in knowledge and the world will welcome you with both open hands."

I'll paint my skin black
In every spot, in every crack
When a happy moment
Was tainted by a touch that lingered far too long.
All those days under a burning sun,
Running, hiding, from eyes that incessantly follow
Looking over my shoulder, with feet that fumble,
Praying not to fall,
Quickly dashing down a hallway,
Hoping four walls of a home will keep me secure.
As my breathless body is reduced
To a mere statue made of stone,
You run your gnarly fingers over my decaying flesh and bones.
“Smile a little more”, “Here,see what I've got”-
I cower in fear, powerless,
And they wonder why I don't speak out soon.
So instead, I'll pen this down
To stop myself from counting,
Every memory seared into my brain,
Every time I've felt less human,
Every time I've felt disgraced.
Maybe tomorrow, I won't wake up screaming.

She carries herself around with the elegance of a winsome soul,
Her charm and wit, these are some things you can't live a day without.
And when she spoke, she could make heads turn,
The way not known in the days bygone.
She was a woman, her hips could sway and make you mesmerized,
At the sheer vulnerability of your own thoughtless mind.
Her words could pierce through your chest, and leave a mark,
Even turn you out from your ways, unkempt.
And when she walked by, her scent could drag you along with her,
A force of gravity that can't be explained in terms of words or thoughts.
She was a woman, one you know, you'll have to fear but also love, to make you skip a beat,
Her smile to set you free from a world that holds you down.
In her eyes, she sees the world, her life meant for a greater cause.
When you think you're lost, she will be there to hold your hand the rest of the road.
She was a woman, not for her curves, or her hips, or her eyes, or lips
She was a woman, because she cared when others gave you their goodbyes.
She was a woman, for the grace she held, for her kind heart, that wanted to help.


She is a woman, who dreams for a world, where she can live and not be tried.
*She is a woman, because, yes she's beautiful, inside out.

She is meant to be weak,
Silent and submissive,
In a world where only men rule.
She is to be rescued,
Because she is incapable,
That is all she is meant to know,
Locked away in the tallest tower,
Every fairytale retold in the girl's mind.
To limit her speech, her ideas, her rights,
To be pretty, dumb and stupid,
Only to be looked upon.
And as she grew, as she blossomed,
Her eyes spoke countless volumes of sadness.
Sexualized in a world where the savages disfigured innocence.
She was voiceless,
Lost to the noise of mindless inhumane babble.

And she looked out at the horizon,
Watching the waves race towards the shore,
The sun as it peeked out, from behind,
Only to bring light into this immortalized darkness.
She put her hands up,
Knowing one day she would touch the sky.
She knew she was stronger,
More than who she was brought up believing,
Meant to be who she was,
And everything she could be,
Every bit of the universe,
Every grain of sand,
Every idea that makes us human,
Equally,
*Both woman and man.

Wake up to the morning stars as dew drops fall on silent ground.
The night falls short of a breathless whisper,
As the pitter patter of falling rain drowns all the noise.
Your kiss is an awakening from the nightmare of life,
Struck with poison from a broken arrow,
My eyes bewitched by all that you are.
Tear me into pieces for everything I know is buried beneath lies.
Cover me with your passion.
I
Can't
Breathe.
You've got stars in your eyes
And in them I am lost to the night.

Her silent tears wept, in crystals withheld.
She wore her silks and touched up her scars,
With sorrow, she walks out into the sun.
In white, she glistened, but her heart, coal black,
In shimmering dreams she had lost herself,
Lost to a world, worn and surreal.
Her emerald green eyes, crying,
And with each moment her fears, surpass.
To the world she is a flame, burning the eye,
But within, her heart cripples as the flame  burns out.
The clouding eyes of foretold doom,
Written between the lines of her wrinkling life.
Distant calls on sleepless nights,
Escapades from this loveless life.
Shadows lingering, as voices whisper,
Her wings, clipped to the sides.
And in white, she stood there,
Under the sun,
Lifting up her eyes, to the heavens above.
Crystals shed, held captive to her pride.
The day after the storm,
*She finally weeps in front of the Gods.

Hill tops sprayed with fairy dust
Lights aglow among the firefly mist
Trickles of water from the ageless spring
Thirst for adventure
I have a wander lust.

In her eyes, everything was a darker shade, as clouds hovered uncertainly to cover a morbidly sorrowful sun, a desperate attempt to try and save its shine, or whatever was left of it.
And the skies resounded with thunder, the earth shook as if in fear and silent submission. Dreamers awoke from slumber; the real world always caught up. The shadows grew longer and the gods, their tantrums, they made known. Anger and disappointment, lining every under note of the raging storm. The wind blew as if, all it was ever meant, for all of its wondrous existence, was to tear man from limb to limb, rather than the feel of it in one's hair. The thunder, the wind, the storm, the rage. The gods were definitely angry. The tremble evident in every way the land reverberated with the cacophony  of the gods.
And then, there was silence.
A ray of light breaking in through the thick cloud cover.
And suddenly every bit of the wonder of the universe rang clear in her head.
As she stood by the rocks, watching the waves meet the sand.
Only an hour before, her purposeful drive to the beach was to contemplate on how subtly she could make an exit from the stage of life.
Her disheveled self esteem had plucked on some courage, as she saw the ray of light shine through the darkness.
The seas grew calmer and the light of the day, back to shine again.
The gods of her mind's creation were now watching, as she picked up a shell that caught her eye. Turning it around in her hand, all she could think of was how she forgot that the light always broke the deathly starkness of a life quenched by the storms that raged like fire.
She climbed onto the driver's seat of her barely held-together sedan.
Turned on the ignition, metaphorically turning on the ignition to a brand new life.

Tears fall
The barren land receives
Like a broken soul.
Cracks that line us,
Keeps us together.
We forget, and never forgive,
What is left of us
Is anything but lies.

Fire burns
In the heat I stand,
The flames, a part of who I am.
A disease, spreading
Shallow whimpering
Sickened by everything we are.
Greed, filth,
Pay no heed to the cries.

Ashes to dust
Our creed, we forgot.
Deal with the devil,
Sell our souls to the dark
Humans we are,
We forget our strives
In our imperfect world
*We build, rule and ruin lives.