Here's some advice for you,
From a friendly ghost for ghouls,
As my endearing mum used to say,
The bills shall always find you, eh!
It's like death and taxes,
Nothing surer in your synapses,
As my endearing mum used to say,
The bills shall always find you, eh!

We must be politically correct,
Or is it a flawed concept?
Does it stifle chats honest?
But, we must be politically correct!

Dear Diary I don't have today,
Let us arise and greet the day,
I woke up on Earth anyway,
The sun rose again today,
I'm going to have a great day,
In a calm and smiling way!

Do you pledge allegiance?
With patriotic dalliance,
Like most things I guess,
We can be too patriotic, no less,
But we should be proud of our land,
Here in Oz, the great Southern band!

I'll say this any way I can,
You're not an excuse for a man,
I don't love you any more,
You're a nasty old predator,
I try not to listen to your blip,
I really think you're full of it,
I don't like your attitudes,
I think you're mean and very rude,
No wonder no woman wants you,
Your self opinion is very smug,
No wonder you sit alone, no hugs,
Do not dwell on the past,
Live like today is your last!
Good day to be alive!
That's what I say to your jive,
Just carry on dude,
I don't even like you,
You have no idea of being a friend,
Tell me when your blip shall end.....

What is a reactionary?
They seem out of place to me,
Some people are reactionaries,
Their beliefs are futile isms, you see,
Out of place, out of time,
Anachronisms spring to mind.......

Hail, citizens of Earth,
Here is a morning verse,
Good morning, let's all bless,
Whatever happens, do not stress,
We woke up, now smile!
Let's put smiles on our dials!
Let's build a bridge of hands,
Reaching out across the lands,
Good morning, world,
From this ******* girl,
Good morning, let's all bless,
Whatever happens, do not stress!

It's good to have a sense of humour,
With me, comedy is a favour,
Laughter is good medicine, ha ha!
Laughing at yourself is best by far,
So, do you only love me 'cause I'm short in bed?
Bit of a giggle, that, more than enough said!!!!!!

The Flintstones, blast from the past,
That was a pregnancy to last,
For Pebbles  we waited so long,
She did sing her own songs,
Now this is a fact so scary,
Pebbles has now turned sixty,
I can't believe how old we've got,
Once the Flintstones really rocked!

Bombs in the Bibliotheque!
What is meant by that, by heck!
On each line, it's like a college,
Every word a weapon of knowledge,
A library is a lucky dip,
Read new authors, that's the tip,
A good book is a trove of treasure,
Reading is a mine of pleasure,
So, off to the library, let's cheer,
For learned bombs in the Bibliotheque!

Inhale, exhale, okay!
All good here today,
Everything will turn out okay,
God holds the world in His hands today!

Yes, once I did a newsboy job,
With a newsagent I did hobnob,
Our little town at four o'clock,
In depths of winter, quite a shock,
In New Blithering I did search,
Why did Heathcliff leave me in the lurch?
Not to be a drama queen,
I did retire from that scene,
It was quite amusing I say,
Second breakfasts every day,
No wonder we were obese and fat,
No longer a newsboy, that's that!

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

A candle of reflection,
Blessing light of perfection,
Let's pray for global healing,
For any conditions plebs are feeling,
Divine light peace the same,
Relief from life's frantic games,
This, our candle of reflection,
Blessing light of perfection......

'Twas after a frosty night,
I caught a glimpse of sunlight,
Sparkling on a spider web,
Miracle, enough said,
Patterns so intricate,
Did not brush aside, delicate,
Yes, 'twas after a frosty night,
Spied a web of sheer delight!

Let's rewrite a poem for you,
No apologias to Byron 102,
Oh bowls of spew, Oh bowls of spew,
Stale weeties they wouldn't waste on you,'
Where once I cooked bacon and eggs,
For privileges don't even beg,
On your blackmail, I renege,
Oh bowls of spew, oh bowls of spew,
More than your family would waste on you,
No apologias to Byron 102......

What did  you wish to be......
Kids growing up, like you and me,
Did you wish to join the ballet?
Or to be  a fireman, to save the day?
Maybe an astronaut, from afar,
Or did you want to be a movie star?
So, what did you turn out to be?
After growing up, like you and me....

Yes, it's International Women's Day,
Let's all celebrate our own day,
I didn't hear that, what did you say?
Oh, yes, I'm an f.....ing moll again,
Yes, in Oz, it's f....ing Molls' Day!
With our philosophies of molls,
Molls' non-participation protocols,
You know what great-grandma said?
"Bullies don't get!" get that in your head,
Yes, Molls' management rules, I say,
Let's celebrate International Women's Day,
Now in Oz, it's f.....ing Molls' day,
With a smile, of course, that's the way,
Smile, babes, this could be you one day!!!!

What is a bad habit?
Overthinking will do it,
So does participation,
In emotional manipulation,
Totally bad habits,
Overthinking does it!

I visited a Planetarium,
For Cosmology, like an aquarium,
I gazed at a simulacrum,
Awe and wonder on high,
Why aren't we all astronauts in the skies?
I came away, bemused,
One afternoon to be amused,
I pondered on a mankind alone,
"Is anybody out there?" I asked my phone,
"Not responding!" replied no alien,
That was my trip to the Planetarium......

Yes, bullying toughens you up, anyway,
Smile, rictus grins are okay,
I'll see this in writing at a G.P.,
You don't need to be so mean,
Cheap and snaky, inspiration!
Let's not hear it for manipulation,
So, bullying's toughened me up this way,
Smiles! Rictus grins are okay!

I was asked to create a holiday,
What about a pyjama day?
We would not get dressed at all,
Stay in bed, hide and stall,
Sit around in flannelette,
Stay in PJ's, don't get dressed,
In fact, don't wash or cook,
Do mental slumming with ****** books!

I rewrote a song called, "Denim and Lace,'
Hope this brings a laugh to your face,
"Pyjamas and Fleece,
I look fat in everything,
And you are a fat old king,
Making me do everything,
Wearing P.J.'s and fleece!"
No hot speed dates to me,
I remove my bra at half past three,
No need to be a sook,
I'll curl up here and write a book,
"Wearing P.J.'s and fleece!'

These are things he meant to say,
But he never did, any day,
"I was married, by the way,"
"But not to you," he didn't say,
The other woman, did he sigh?
"But I loved you, passing by!"
These are things he meant to say.
But he never did, any day.....

Yes, I'm 65, now elderly,
That's the term, officially,
One day, shopped locally,
Bought a lotto, luckily?
Someone wins tonight, says she,
Dear God, why can't it be me?
Yes, yes, this lotto is lucky,
Wait for the draw, breathlessly,
Anticipate now I am elderly,
Old folk can be winners too, says she,
This is going to be my lucky night,
If I win, I can sort the bill for the light,
Getting old is not for hissy fits,
Come on, lotto, let's have a bit!

Here is what I need to say,
We're all human with feet of clay,
So, do lay off us chicks today,
Go look in a mirror some day,
To older men with your spare tyres,
Yes! Your gynaecologist has retired!

We love you cos' you are Victorians,
Here we are all Melburnians,
Here there are genres of folks,
Listen up, let's have a joke,
One type of plebs here goes to church,
Or plebs go fishing, to catch some perch,
Some are drinkers and go to the pubs,
Some are football tragics, hubbub!
Then there's the anti-football league,
Not participating non-vigorously,
Then some folk go to the library,
Or some can belong to the Dr. Who Society,
Or they can be a combination of any of the above,
It's all a norm in olde Melbourne town we love!

Yes, a blessed Sunday morning,
A fresh day dawning,
I pray for faith to unite,
In the early morning light,
As our day of earthly prayers does start,
To be blessed, chats straight from the heart!

This is a day in the life,
No need to accept strife,
A day at Dullton villa,
Resting my head on a pillow,
It's a summer holiday,
The slow suburban way,
Let's hope it's a slow news day,
The Dullton villa holiday......

I am a rotisserie chook,
The rotation has started to cook,
This is my Karma, I sook,
To be a rotisserie chook,
Then it's off to the consumption,
With no thought of liberation,
But lo, behold Foghorn Leghorn!
Fat guts and feathers he adorn,
He liberates the rotisserie,
Free ranging for thee and me!

I'm a teacher for forty three years,
Does that make me an expert dears?
It's a rocket science yet,
Teaching reading to the pets,
Some folk are born to teach,
Educating our students each!

What was that you wanted, dear?
I'm busy reading away in here,
Bookworms munching through the pages,
Words in print, creating stages,
A writer must read and write alone,
Get someone better on your phone,
What was that you wanted, dear?
Move on, I'm  busy reading here......

Tempted into wrong way,
Diverse team held sway,
Keen fan did sag,
Boys had lost the flag,
Old team won, glory beamed,
Traitor was back, it seemed!

As we bow our heads to pray,
Our souls are unleashed this way,
We pray to always keep the faith,
We pray to be blessed by grace,
We pray for smiles on our face,
We pray for all humanity,
We pray for global amity,
For peace on Earth we pray,
Our souls are unleashed this way!

What if I thanked you for this,
Half a lifetime of free bliss,
What if I thanked you for our fusion,
A soul mate in our communion,
What if I thanked your aura, dude,
So healing my broken heart, your attitude,
Such an atmosphere, so golden and stellar,
You're a really lovely fellow,
So I write to my love in a letter,
I wish I could express it better.....

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

News flash! What's it worth?
Today's the last day of Planet Earth,
What would you do today?
What last words would you say?
Dance like there's no tomorrow,
Genocide has no one left for sorrow,
So what would you do and say,
If today was Earth's last day?

Interpolated amidst,
Glittering stars betwixt,
Deep intervals of space,
Separations of vacuum grace,
Glimpses of sights unseen,
Boundaries of space between,
Vast space between galaxies,
Existent for eternities,
Space between quest for our race,
Horizons of space between,
Eons of sights unseen.

Do you cry in movies?
Tear-jerkers can be groovy,
Emotional catharsis, yes,
Well-acted tragedies, no less,
So, movies explore being human,
I guess time stands still no man.......

Yes, it's a lovely day, you say,
Is it your white wedding day?
Or is it a political funeral?
All set for a divorce, young gal?
Think it through a bit longer, eh,
Before that lovely white wedding day!

Here I am dieting again!
Is chocolate such a sin?
I graze all day on chlorophyll,
Eating salads, I feel like a dill,
How is the serenity?
It's only five-thirty,
Really having a swell time here,
What else can I eat, my dears?

Mothers know best, or do they?
We get used to anything these days,
It is all conditioning in these ways,
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?  I say,
Because he conditioned it! Hey, hey,
Mothers know best, or so they say,
Who is conditioning whom today?

For smiles and good company,
You can join a faith community,
Whatever your faith may be,
Some friendships are true gold,
The love of God is never old,
Humble faith works for me,
In an awesome community,
My true friend is like gold,
Jesus' love is ever told,
He is a real friend, you see,
Across time and centuries,
Golden friend for thee and me.....

Yes, it's holidays in summer,
No books, what a ******!
Chicks need light books for lit.,
Mental slumming, that's what I call it,
Yes, recreational reading,
Books for older  girls is what I'm needing.......

This poem brings a surprise,
Once I came home with bits of pies
In my hair, kids did what they dare,
Food fights all over everywhere,
All part of sacramental life,
Church celebrations full of strife,
No, I am not kidding,
In cream puffs we were skidding,
This Dracula  finally left the scene,
You try teaching all those tweens!

I reminisce on love not funny,
So much for giving people honey!
I just never met Mr. Right, I guess,
I met Mr. *******, no less,
No need to sook it, I confess,
Some men have a funny idea of love,
They think they're gifts from God above,
Hello there, rotten mongrels, honey!
I reminisce on love not funny!

I wash your clothes anyway,
A poet must have her say,
I've got the giggles again,
I'm on my own thought train,
Your bloomers are on the moon,
"Thank you' should be your tune......

Spring is a young woman,
Friend to every human,
Laughing, sunny, warm, shining,
Green and floral, beguiling,
Happy scented days of smiling,
Light blues skies, breezing,
The world is softly loving in Spring,
Like a young woman for cuddling......

Our first glance,
Did his eyes dance?
Eye contact,
Was that that?

Who guides you each day?
Would you to angels pray?
Our guides on the sides,
All ethereals, they hide,
An open mind we must keep,
Blessings from above, love so deep.