-
Love never made me a fool,
It was my choices that made me a fool.

I will stop smelling the clothes you left
I will stop doodling your name in every paper
I will stop looking for your face in the crowd
I will stop wishing for you in every shooting star

I will stop here, I will

I will stop writing poems about you
I will stop writing songs for you
I will stop sending messages
I will stop calling your name

I will stop here, I will

I will stop thinking about you every morning
I will stop calling you my sun
I will stop dreaming about you every night
I will stop calling you my moon

How I wish I can stop right here, right now
How I wish..

-
It took me one hundred stupid acts
Before I finally realize that I was indeed stupid

Is it a crime,
If I do not rhyme?

Will I be put to jail if my metaphors are lame?
Will I be put to jail because I steal your fame?
Or my life will forever be in shame?

I borrowed your words
Well, technically not really your words

I am not a word thief
Unless the Dictionary will sue me
Unless my own mind sue me

I've been trying to write stories
then my mind wanders into fantasies
I could not find a perfect subject
so I looked everywhere for an object

But still..

Another writer's block
tik tok tik tok said the clock
write a line, write a line
and find a rhyme, find a rhyme
Oh! I found a dime, I found a dime!
Lets buy some wine!

tik tok tik tok said the clock

Delete the first two verses
Because it was all nonsense
Please give me a concept!
In return I will try to write you a sonnet
Said, I WILL TRY to write you a sonnet

tik tok tik tok said the clock

I am running out of time
I am running out of lines
Sorry for the rumbling
I really am struggling
Couldn't find a perfect subject
So my papers here are wrecked

Sa mga sinambit **** salita
Sa mga ngiting ipinakita
Unti-unti, ako'y nabiktima
Unti-unti ako'y nahulog na

Oo gusto kita, pinili pa nga kita
Minahal nga ata kita
Ayoko lang aminin sa sarili ko
Ayoko lang pakinggan ang puso ko

Takot ang nangibabaw

Takot masaktan
Takot maiwan
Takot na maging ikaw ang mundo
Takot na mahalin ka ng todo

Kasi sa pag-ibig, ganoon ako
Buo, buong-buo
Yung wala ng para sa sarili ko
Yung lahat ibibigay ko

Nagustuhan mo din naman ako diba?
Ikaw naman ang unang nagsabi diba?
Ikaw naman ang nagpakita ng interest diba?
Ikaw naman ang nauna diba?

May mga plano na nga ako
Para sa iyo
Para sa akin
Para sa atin

Kasi sa tingin ko handa na ako
Handa na ako

Pero wala
Bigla na lang nagbago
Wala na tayong magagawa
Wala pa ngang "tayo" ay naghiwalay na tayo

Sana totoong nagustuhan mo ako
Sana totoo lahat ng ipinakita mo
Sana totoo lahat ng sinabi mo
Sana, sana, sana

Hindi ako galit sa'yo
Galit ako sa sarili ko
Kasi pinili kita
Kasi nagustuhan kita

Ang huling hiling ko na lang sa'yo
ay sabihin mo na ginamit mo lang ako
baka sakali ay matauhan ako
at ako na mismo ang lumayo

Dragons are on fire
Winter has finally come
War is to begin

Writing in between dusk and dawn
late night and early morning thoughts
all things I should have done
all things I should have said
ends up in a sheet of paper

Writing in between fantasy and reality
distinguishing facts from dreams
separating actual events from things that happened only in mind
drawing a line between possible and impossible
all ends up in a black ink

Writing in between, with an angel and a devil beside
they look at me saying
"decide which side to take, decide which bridge to burn"
it takes a lot of wisdom to choose
it takes a lot of understanding to do

Writing in between seconds and minutes
of how time takes things and how things takes time
of how time is sometimes too slow
and sometimes too fast
writing about how time has betrayed me

Writing in between good and evil
of what is angelic and sinister
of what is moral and immoral
of what is accepted and not
all written, but all don't matter

Writing in between life and death
still couldn't define what is living
still couldn't define what comes with death
writing in between inhales and exhales
grasping for words and air

Love of recognition
Love of appreciation

Love of power
Love of being above other

Love of luxury
Love of money

Love of success
Love of progress

Loving way too much
Of earthly things and title

Loving way too much
Of things that supposed to be should not matter

Loving way too much
Of life that you forget to actually live

Love is the greatest thing of all
Yet love is the most horrible of all

When she was 5 years old,
She was made to believe that
An ice cream can make someone stop crying

When she was 10 years old,
She was made to believe that
Girls should be modest and simple

When she was 15 years old,
She was made to believe that
She's too young to fall in love

When she was 20 years old
She was made to believe that
Real life, she could not handle

Now that she was 25
She had realized that everything
She was made to believe
Were nothing but all lies and opinions

Now that she was wise enough
She realized that an ice cream wouldn't solve a problem
That women can be whatever they want to be
That falling in love was just a normal thing
That the real world is complicated but manageable

Now that she was old enough
She will never believe
Anything or anyone
Unless she had experienced it
Unless she had seen it in her own eyes

She will never believe again
Because everything she was made to believe were all lies..

Her color of blue is not the color of serenity,
neither the color of the calm sky
nor the color of the cool oceans

Her color of blue is black and gray
A sad blue eyes and a faint smile
A heavy heart and a wandering soul

Her color of blue is sadness,
unhappy
melancholy

So tell me,
how come the color of blue depicts peace and calmness?
When the other meaning of it is the opposite?

I entered a room
But surprised to find out that
There is no exit

Waking up is always a burden to her
For she never wanted the life she is living now
They say that life has so many choices to offer
But she was left with only one choice
-to accept what was left to her

Dreaming is supposed to be free,
But now, it became a luxury
Only for those who can afford it
And those who can't, it's a fantasy
-illusion, delusional

Ridicule me, laugh at me, tease me, bully me
It will be your last chance
Call me simpleton, call me poor, call me ugly
It will be your last chance
You won't be able to do it again

She had finally decided to end it all
She was just waiting for a cue to start the fall
And that day, wandering around the city
A signboard caught her attention

Today's Advice: HANG IN THERE ;)
A faint smile then crosses her lips
It was the cue she was waiting for

Later that night
Literally, she followed the advice
The only witness is the moon
*She hangs herself in her room

Himala
Miracle,

Kasalanan bang
Is it wrong,

Humingi ako sa langit ng
To ask the high heavens,

Isang himala..?
*for a miracle?

Working M to F
Studying during Sat and Sun
Starting to feel tired

I can't carry the world
I only have two hands
To hold me and to hold him

I can't cry it all
I only have two eyes
My tears,  I save for him

I can't say it all
I only have a mouth
My words, all for his ears

I can't love you all,
I only have one heart
And it is made for him

~
Un-lonely nights
Romantic moments
The love, the love
What about them?
Throw it all away
The perfect dates
The sweetest kisses
The love, the love
What about them?
Throw it all away

song by Typecast..
~


I heard that song from the radio
I wrote down the lyrics, and sent to you
You just laughed at me
You threw away the letter,
Just like how you threw away our forever

Nights are now lonely
Romantic moments into daily fights
Dates, conversation, all coldly
No more random kisses at night

I asked you what and where did I lacked
You told me none, instead
You told me I was too much
I always knew that too much of everything
is not good, but what can I do?
That's how much I loved you

Will you throw it all away,
Will you throw it all away??
All we've been through
All my love for you,
All my love for you??

I was at your door, I almost knock to say sorry.

But you didn't. You let the night pass without us fixing the damage

I almost called you, it took me so much effort not to.

But still you didn't. You let the night pass without us communicating our thoughts.


You see, your "almost" are never enough and as much as you want me to understand that you tried your best, that you almost do, it was never ever a consolation.


*It hurts to know that you almost did but the fact that you didn't is what hurts me the most.

~
I used to be the Fallen One
I got this name from a book
Fallen One is a male character
Who for sure got a good look
But his life consist of awful chapter
~

Since then, I used it as my pseudonym
We are not totally the same
I just love the darkness of him
I just love personalities that's dim

Let us say, I maybe depressed
Or I just find beauty in everything that falls
Or I just find comfort being a messed
That is why I've got this high walls

Maybe my words mean nothing
Cause I honestly don't know what I want to say
I just want somebody to hear me crying
And tell me it's going to be okay
(even tho it's a lie)

Silent pleas, save me from my own miseries
Self destruction button activated
Maybe I am made to be like this
To recover and then again devastated

I am always the fallen one
Never the rising one
Beauty I find in destruction
Peace I find in confusion

This is me, and I couldn't run away
I couldn't climb, I always fall
Maybe that's how I am supposed to be
Maybe that's how it is supposed to be

I now consider,
Luxury- five hours of sleep
I'll be happy then

The cold wind touched my skin and my body trembled
As you removed the last piece of my clothing
You also removed my eyeglasses and asked
"Can you see me?"
I slowly nod even everything was a blur
The curve in your lips says that you smiled upon seeing me naked

You started kissing me
And I stand still because it was my first kiss
and I don't know how to respond
Kissing. Deeper. Harder
I found myself craving for more
Faster. Stop. Breath

You asked me to close my eyes
But I didn't (because everything is blur without my eyeglasses)
Instead I put my feet on your waist
Then hugged you tightly
Mainly for support and to make sure I will not fall

Slowly our body collided
It was your trap, a sweet pitfall
Your hands all over me
touching every part of me

You stopped on my *******
and started fondling
one more caress and I totally fall
in your sinful trap
****. Lick. Mash
And I can't make you stop
No, I don't want you to stop

So wrong yet feels so good..

My body starts to shake
As you put your hands in between
Fingers in and out
I'm losing my mind
Fingers in and out
Faster. Breathless
Fingers in and out
Exploring every part of me
Which I don't let anybody see

I'm in ecstasy
Pain and pleasure
never felt this way before

Panting. Wanting
You drop to your knees
and position your head in between
You bury your face
and started to taste
Lick. Lick. Lick
You said I taste like heaven
So I was in heaven
Lick. Lick. Lick
Pain and pleasure
never felt this way before

But you're not yet done
And I don't want you to be done
You asked me again
"Can you see me?"
Again, I nod even you're just a shape in my vision

You lay me down
"wider"
I just stare into vagueness
Then I felt it
You pushed inside me
Deeper.
Pain and pleasure
Pain and pleasure
I'm losing control
With every ******, I can feel you all over me
As you bury yourself inside me
you also touch my heart
In and out. Harder. Deeper
Breathless. Wanting. Moaning
The world is spinning

"Can you see me?"
I finally answered
"No, but it's not important
as long as I feel you near me is enough"
I was staring at the shadow of him as I said the words
It was dark, only heartbeats and ****

I'm sure you touched my heart
But you said it's just my body
that's pain and pleasure, I guess
I thought you touched my heart
but as you said, you just touched my body
I made love to you, but you just f_cked me
I thought it was love
Pleasure is all you see

The morning comes
Knowing you won't be beside me
But still I looked around
To make sure that what happened was real
Yes, it is indeed real, you were real
For you left marks
crumpled bed sheet
red marks on my skin
and bloodstains..

I wore my eyeglasses
my vision becomes clear
But no specs can clear what happened
under the moonlight

*Innocence gone
Pain and pleasure
The euphoria of last night..

Nariyan ka pa ba?
Hindi ka na matanaw..


*Love, are you still there?
Why can't I see you?
Why can't I feel you?

You were once amongst the brightest star
That illuminated the world from afar
But now, they call you a dead one
Long ago exploded and gone

But still we see your light
You still twinkle in the night
You still light up the dark
Still a beautiful piece of art

They call you a dead star
But beauty I found in your destruction
How I will love explosion
If light will still be seen after a billion of years

They call you a dead star
But you still shine with the other
What a lovely death indeed
To die but still light will be seen

There was a lone child
Who wakes up even before the sun does
Who writes something in her room
Then inflates a red balloon

Only to find out
That a prayer, she has written down
Will tie it to the balloon
Then set it free to the sky dome

It was her morning routine
Thinking the angels above
Will easily hear and see her prayers
Because she always pray and gets nothing

It was her morning routine
Thinking that the earlier she prays
The earlier she'll be answered
Because she always wait, wait and wait

It was her daily routine
She never gets tired of it
She will always knot a prayer to a balloon
Until someday, that someone might finally hear her