you are an expert at sorry
and i’m a master of forgiveness
ohh together baby
we make a perfect mess
perfect combination
this is not a poem
but a declaration
of defeat, a concession
the things i can’t change
the feelings i can’t make
as i comeback to this world
i’m not even whole, not even healed
from whatever diagnosis
from whatever disease
that sicks this life
that plunges the heart and mind
i swallowed pills, the happy ones
i even injected acceptance
i’m not even sure if it will lead to healing
or just a temporary silencing
of the chaos, of the storm
that lives within my soul
but whatever it might be
wherever it might take me
i now understand that not all lost battle is a defeat
and not all who concede are weak
and now is my turn, ohhh
i concede to this beautiful life
Isabelle Jul 1
i’m tired of you leaving and coming back
and me accepting you like nothing happened
i’m tired of starting again and breaking again
and collecting pieces again and starting over and over again
i’m tired of investing then detaching
then boom it’s a fucking fuck cycle
i’m tired yet i still go back and back and again and again
and forget and forgive again
i’m tired of you changing your mind
and me not even changing a heart
i’m tired, i’m so fucking tired
but I love you, i love you still
i love you with every ache of this heart
i love you with every stain and scar
i love you with every fiber of my existence
yeah i’m tired, but i said i love
and when i say i love you, i mean it forever
this is madness
Isabelle Jun 24
there’s a little light
peeking through
the small crack
enough to create
a spark, a fire
that will finally
set her free
and make her shine
Isabelle Jun 11
the answers we seek
in history, has been taught
time and time again
yet we never learnt
  Jun 10 Isabelle
I had my first dream last night that you weren't in.
not even a minor character,
your damned name wasn't even in the credits,
let alone plastered across the sky in flashing lights
like you want it to be.
my first reality that you didn't belong in,
and it was the most blissful peace that I can remember since we bathed in pools of cloud.

I heard the first song that didn't make me think of you yesterday.
the lyrics, for once, were just lyrics,
not an embodiment of you and the things you do.
guess what?
it was coldplay.
you always hated coldplay.

this morning, I basked in the sun and didn't picture you coated in gold light beside me.
I didn't look at the leaves adorning the trees and picture your face laughing beneath it.

I didn't trace the plate lines of my palm and imagine the earthquake we used to create when yours collided with mine.

I didn't eat new food that I wanted you to try and I didn't want to share the smallest details of my day with you.

you may have won this poem, loverboy,
but don't be too triumphant.
your victory won't last long.
it's the era of my new beginnings without you and I'm going to be just fine.
never trust anyone who doesn't like coldplay.
Isabelle Jun 10
This is me
and too bad
i am no Cupid
to shoot an arrow
into your damn heart
to make you fall in love
with nothing but all of me
let’s play Cupid
let me shoot your heart
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