2019 was so sweet
2020 we got knocked off our feet
but sometimes we’ve got to fall down
to get back up
And realise that life’s not always buttercups

I miss everything.
I miss people, I miss places
I miss family, I miss friends
I miss that feeling you get on a summer night, driving home from a family gathering,
windows down,music blasting out
with the sticky humidity
and smell of summer bbqs in the air.
The birds chirping ,insects buzzing
and the smell of freshly cut grass drifting in air, while walking bare foot through the fields
watching the sunset on those summer walks.
The family holidays,
walking along the golden kissed beaches, swimming as the sun goes down.
Having fish and chips on the pier
with the cry of gulls circling the air
and sand between your toes.
Road trips to a new place
and feeling that sense of pure exhaustion and satisfaction
as you head home on the motorway..headphones in, reminiscing the day, caught up in your own little bubble  ...
These are a few of the moments I miss the most.

I miss the time with friends
face to face- not just a pixel on a phone
those moments when you just can’t stop laughing
Everyone else is staring at you,
they don’t know what you’re laughing at
but it makes them smile to see such joy

From morning till night
I’ll be by your side
From dusk till dawn
I’ll love you more and more

It’s funny how one moment can make feelings fade
I used to fall for you but now my perspectives
changed
Thought u were the only answer to it all
But the truth is I now know I deserve more

The best is yet to come
If you believe then you can become

I’m a castaway
Drowning in an ocean of disarray  
Lost upon the ship of broken dreams
Guess ocean life isn’t as good
as it seems
When will the worries and cares
wash away
They keep floating back
on the tide of the day
And I’m searching for something to rescue me
A lighthouse shines somewhere on the sea
So pull me out
of the shipwreck I’m in
Because suffering like this
feels like a sin

He pulled me in close
Then He whispered in my ear
Baby you have nothing to fear
I turned to face him
With a cheeky grin
and whispered back I’m glad your here
He wrapped himself around me
Then We danced all night
Going strong till the morning light
Holding each other’s arms
Embraced in each other’s palms
Baby it just felt so perfect and so right
He whisked me away
Then swept me off my feet
We danced to the DJ and the beat
Had the time of our life
I forgot all my strife
I swear god knew that we would meet
He gently kissed my lips
Then we ordered more drinks
I ignored all the other boys winks
All that mattered was him
Forget the shots and gin
This night was where our forever would begin

Tears fall like droplets of rain
Running down my pale skin pane
Cutting in like shards of glass
Flooding into my heart the past
Trickling along the scars of my skin
Following each pattern then seeping in
Salty as the sea on my rough beaten shore
I let them crash down then fall to the floor
I slowly heal as the tide starts to turn
The sun arrives my eyes tingle and burn
Slowly pain retreats and i start to warm
Happiness creeps in- I no longer mourn

We had it so good
So what happened to us
Well in came the flood
And we drifted away
On an ocean of disarray

I did it all for what I thought love was
And now all I know is loss
Into the darkest depths I’ve been tossed
Guess I’ve had to pay the cost

You make my heart flutter and shatter into a million pieces at the same time
Too scared to call you when day turns to night
but how else will you ever be mine

Like fire on ice
You burn into me
Melting my cold heart
Yet time becomes frozen
When you ignite that spark
Within my icy Dead Sea

It’s clear you don’t want to talk to me
So I guess that I’ll just have to be
The fool that you played
That keeps on giving you grace

Softly softly
I breathe thee in
Gently gently
I let love in
Slowly slowly
The healings doth begin

And the sad thing was that she had felt pain for so long that when she finally started healing she questioned what the feeling was

And the sad thing was she had felt nothing but pain for so long that when she finally started healing again she questioned the feeling of happiness

My love for you drives me insane
The thought of you messes with my brain

Fall in love with yourself again
Look within
There is beauty in the places we try to hide
You know

Light,the heartbeat of the city
A thousand lights to show the way
An essence that surrounds our everyday
Where would we be without light?
An undertow,to the rhythm of life
What would happen if it all went dark?
No more spark,everything falls apart
No more trail,no more spark
Light,we take it for granted
But would we survive in the dark
The worlds already dark enough.

Fall in love with yourself again,
Look within,
There is beauty in the places we try to hide
You know

I cry sometimes and I don’t know why
If I could let it all out i know I’d be fine
Pain turns to anger
When I don’t have the answer
To all the questions you left me with
For all the times you left me in myth

If only getting over you was
as easy as
Remembering your name

All I thought I knew before
Comes crashing down to the floor
Everything about you that kept me awake Doesn’t even matter now I know your fake
All the feelings I felt for you
Have melted away if only you knew
Was it all for nothing you kept on bluffing
left me with questions and distrust
Oh you Shut me out without a doubt
Now I just want to scream and shout
Left me numb and you played dumb
But I ain’t dumb I know who u really are
Think you can carry on leaving scars
When will it all come to an end
How many more people will have to mend
You think it’s all harmless fun baby
Well don’t think you can ever harm me
But you play a dangerous sick game
And how many will take the blame
For something that only you did
Called you out but then you hid
What a coward that covered
Up everything in lies  
Another of your efforts dies
So don’t you ever think you can come back
Whoever you pretend to be I ain’t talking.fact
You make me sick and I’m sick of feeling this
way
So glad I walked away when you wanted me to stay
Just know we know the secrets you kept
So be careful where you once stepped
we ain’t gonna stop fighting for justice yet
Don’t think you deserve this song for you
But people deserve to know what you do

She finds it hard to open up
Because of all the scars people have cut
But when she gains that trust
The love she gives will be more than enough
She finds it easy to act tough
Because her road has been so rough
But if she receives kindness
Then she will give back nothing less

We built a ship beneath the stars
And drew an anchor from the rocks
We dug up treasure amongst the sand
And found our refuge in the docks
We birthed our home upon the waters
And set sail on the glistening blue
We eagerly climbed the rafters
And fell in love with the sea view
We sat under a carpet of stars
And sang sea shanties from long ago
We tanned on the decks all day
And told stories of sea monsters below
We dived down to the ocean depths
And caught the finest fish
We surfed and danced all the waves
And then dreamt about all we wish  
We never stopped exploring
And had a hunger for more
We traveled England and the world
And sailed to every shore

Cause sometimes in life
You gain it all when get one chance
Then lose it all on a fake romance
Go through all of the pain
Only to learn all loves the same

Frozen in time, only sadness in your eyes
Winters snow had clouded your mind
A sleeping beauty in a forest full of lies
Who stamped out your fires, left you cold inside

Sunlight arrives, kisses your face
You start to heal in it’s warm embrace
Pain slowly melts, you are no longer blind
Hope awakens a glimpse of summer in your eyes

A scorching,slow journey on a road of upsets
But at the end of it all lies Golden hour sunsets
On a road trip to where your happiness hides
I can now see summer in your eyes

New growth chokes out old thorns of despair
Along your life’s path only lushness grows there
Happiness dances in summer breeze whispers
Your light again shimmers on overflowing rivers

Healing has painted over your winter scars
Joy brushed away the clouds, revealing stars
Love washed over all the ***** lies
You have risen up, you are now fully alive
Proved them all wrong, too strong to not survive
I now see summer dancing in your eyes

Sun comes out and happiness with it
Your Heart feels light joy no longer hides
Lazy days in the summer haze
Only blue skies and memories made