I've been blessed to know a few
who understand my pain and triumph too
N we'll know each other all our lives
as I'm all finished alone looking for knives.

Distance we make into a friend as still days alone I’ll dwell
Yet keep always the hope that their
future’s brightness is to sell.

While mine I auction off with ease-
Doomed;
addictions appetite is never pleased.

So quite different I am from both of them, as our unlikely trios formed
by want and need and struggle too while beauty and youth is mourned



A blessing for us to know this type, of friendship near or far

to know alone is not alone no matter where we are.

Kimia and Sammy, it's your two thoughts that I keep close

As the future that I contrived grows impatiently morose

to feign acrobatic mystery
through aerodynamic  propensities -
is to let dramatic proclivities
start and stop the show.

the somersault
moronically learned;
while in an endless blur-
Displays the beauty
Truth's discerned

of who and what we were.

the gentle lapping of salty waves, break onto the shore,

The wave of change is coming fast-
into the tide contentment's cast
it's the only way to sail from past
to brightest futures; A risen mast...

and a seagull, somewhere, sings in F minor.

no human can ignore:
no matter race, religion, class,
that the waves propel us, or
drowns us beneath their mass.

The wave of change's tolling tide
has come again for us, we tried
to keep using whatever we
  contrived,
to surf  change's wave,
 wildly we ride.

To let a group of strangers down
Is to know beneath fake  smiles
Scowls their collective frown
As their evenings I defile.

How it hurts my heavy heart
To see their disappointment stain
The magic out of pursuing art
As it happens once again.

And worst of all, too well I know
That the change in hopeful eyes
Will come on stronger than before  
As we inwardly despise.

Lonely day and solemn night
Guide this pallett to the light
& Let the fear and need create
What words cannot communicate

The Painter;

a slave to love and duty,
Passionate anguish;
Desire and beauty.

be careful-
you dont want to fall in love with me;
Im hard to hold and cold to touch (fall to pieces/treat the rush).
dont fall in love with me
because Im inherently cruel.
You will put me  above all, as the only priority, yet I will never be enough to show you how that feels.
dont fall in love with me
because I will watch you sacrifice, in every moment you thought you knew I will watch as you suffer for what you love. 
dont fall in love with me
because I will lock the door
from the inside so dont wait around,
dont fall in love with me
because I know my worth and I will demand many things, most of which will be a challenge,
yet I'll expect everything unto us for I know what my love does really offer.

Fall in love with me and
my soul will trace you back, and you'll see
I'm a rainy night, the silent snowfall in a lonely November; that im the space between each eyelash when you grin.  I'm a sunset that hangs over the smoking, foggy lake, and im the tiny hairs that cover a raspberry.
Im a song
and a poem and an epitaph alike
Im the dirt gravel path in the forest you hike.
I'm the wind and the rain
Im the first sip of tea
Im a warning to head,
Im the deep dark blue Sea,
Im whips of hard smoke,
perplexities
Im only what you want me
to be.

Close your eyes and open your hands:
See through aperture & nocturne, invented sands-
With the glistening shorelines of imagined lands,
This, my ten minuet creation, foregone of all plans...
Is perfect in itself, alone(ly) it stands
so
Clear in my minds eye, contrived through my hands
...is this a contemporary tapestry?
with threads sewn into strands?


Or is it a song-  melodic and pure

verse chorus refrain- all sung strong and sure

with my keys and strings and drums and things; Ill

make pretty noise
over which I might sing.

And I want to believe you when you tell me that it'll be okay-
And I want you to hold my hand and walk me through that door.
And despite my fears I'll dance for you,
becsuse I just dance the way I feel.

Now catch that shut eye in my room
Sleeping in-
Oh, summer moon,
Starts at night - worthless insight
Lapping lakes like Leerey Loons-
Patience, shadow, hold on tight;
Waiting alone in your caccoon,
Till dawn till dusk; till you fade to light

& every night,
you fade to light.

As my backache slowly claims my days
With its unrelenting force
The horror of my evil ways
Begins to take its course.

But how will it stop? a few ways I can see,
Most of which end without victory...
In fact in none of them is a winning me
For from the cravings I'll never be free.  And nothings satasfactory.

And everything I once knew

Everything- all the time

Changes beneath the light.

It is to that place
In song
That I retreat
To wait for you.
My idle life
Is halfway spent
in the Apple Orchard;

Its in that place,
That I lye alone.
And
Its in that place
I hide from love.
Its in that place
That I'll awaken from,
And  never-
I'll never
never;
truly
leave.

Down swoops lonley owl
Graceful talons search for prey
As field mice scatter

May you land, dear owl,
Where love is a place, learning
the languange of the night.

May you understand
"...the unfinished creation
Of a changing soul."