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Yazad Tafti Mar 18
a portrait painted in my mind

watching you in the living room with another living being

i've had ******* comedowns which killed me a bit more,

but this comedown off of you in my expectations

this room suddenly doesn't make me feel like living anymore

sink in to the couch and never come out ( i may just be soft) lel
Keebo Nov 2020
I woke up on the floor
From a party the night before  
Feeling like a train wreck, looking like a mess
Trying to piece together last night’s events
But my memory’s **** & my fishnet tee is missing
So I roll up a cig, grab my coat and leave
I’m losing count on how many times I do this routine

Walking down the street
Going through the texts I sent when you were asleep
Telling you what drugs I’ve been on
What I genuinely think, I know I’m a nihilist
But I know I can also change in your company
It’s funny how the heart speaks
When ******* & MDMA is in the  bloodstreams

Finally, I’m home
My mental state is melting like a Dali painting
So I crawl into bed for a good rest
Letting my body dissociate at the sight of 2PM
Some people say this is a waste of a day
But I didn’t think about that yesterday
Now I scream “**** MY LIFE” loudly from the inside
Part 2 of “I Wanna Live Inside Slash’s Hat”
Roro Aug 2020
Swimming with stars, a cosmic stream
Saturn’s no longer a distant dream
Titan in one hand, the other waving to Ganymede
Ideas are rushing and fluttering
Like dandelion seeds in the wind, they’re slippering
Melodic strings then crashing drums
A chaotic orchestra, now here they come...
Melting shadowy figures from the dead
Delusions from the collapsed parts of my head
A simple reminder to stop glamorizing mania, **** can get scary dangerous real quick.
Aleah Jan 2020
I know that I don’t matter,
Live life like I’m unfazed,
I hear the constant chatter,
Echoing and I am crazed,
Invisibility has been my shelter,
But now it pulls me away,
These feelings begin to swelter,
This time I wanted to stay.
J J Aug 2019
I don't leave my house much
and I keep to myself, dysthymia at my peak
    These days.
Blood in the sink after brushing my teeth for the first time in weeks
  and feeling all the more disgusted for it,although
I know it a mini victory in itself,enough of a sign for hope--
better than any ******* self-help book could suggest--
The laughing jittering chitchat all-being lovely paranoia stage has passed
And now i feel the hangover.
Luckily,the eureka's glued on too
And the reflection is easier to inspect now--
you know that Hemmingway quote:
Write drunk,edit sober? Like that,but over the coarse of a lifetime.
And how boring sober life is after the highest peak,but on the same note,
I've flushed the drugs to deter temptation,to better myself--
When i was bad they made me okay,
When i was great they made me even better,the world even closer...
But they're a ruining process. I've learnt to love the blossoming passion flower of my mind,
Although i want so to hate it currently.
I know i am,i know the universe is,and if you're reading this then you too are;
And that's all that needs to matter sometimes.

Through silence,through recluse,through art,through pen,through therapy,through time,through honesty,through dream,through woe,through laughter,through scream, through power,through weakness embraced,through fire,through love,
Through a madness unhinged but always aware
Of self and all surrounding;
You do what you can to get by,but most importantly,you do what you can to better yourself.

You don't have to be perfect everyday,
you dont have to be perfect most days,
But if you're trying for anything at all,you're braver than you could be,and not yet as strong as you should be
And that is a  very   very    good inspiration
I'm not doing the best at the moment but writing is one of the things keeping me going strong. I thought I'd rant and rave about the process of finding inspiration when you least want it. First line borrowed...well,full on nicked, from Soko.
Tap Head May 2017
Loud noises. Bright colours.
Rush and gush of comers and goers.
The western world is a bit
too much for me today.

Because last night,
I saw the stars through shaky eyes,
felt the cold air against my numb face
and told a stranger what you mean to me.  

I sat on the water’s edge for hours,
my bare feet hanging off the side.
I saw the stars. I saw your eyes.
And felt ******* great.
Hannah Jul 2016
I crave a different state of mind,
Make me more honest, make me connect with people make me more open, smart and kind.

I don't crave the come down,
Make me feel tired, make me sleep but have bad dreams, make me feel distant, make my body ache and head pound.

So when the money comes around like it always does I'm constantly torn between up and down, a battle of is, isn't and was.
Poetic T Dec 2015
They called it the shallow graves, the place where death plays
Spin the broken needle. it snows in July under here.

Under the bridge they huddle in their cardboard palaces ,
psychedelic moments followed by the falling in to oblivions grasp.

They slept in their depthless tombs, blankets hiding that moment
Of alone time where that last hit was the one that hit home.

I watch as so many lives that once were, are now gone, this
Place of broken syringes and dreams. Sleeping in hollow mounds.
Addicts under a bridge there blankets are their shallow graves when overdosing RIP another life gone due to drugs
Addy Feb 2015
It was a sensation like no other
Wide eyes and a beating heart
I felt complete, faultless
Although I was cold
This feeling kept me warm

Sister took a nail full
Of the white rough powder
And laid it upon a book
The familiar bitter taste
Infused my mouth
As I licked the pulverulent

I was full of conversation
But there wasn't much talking
For the voices in my head
Were very loud
As they were reminding me of reality

I tried to push it away
The feeling that was anticipated
But it was strong
And my content feeling
Slowly began to fade away

My stomach dropped
As my mouth ran dry
Lips chapped and hands shaking
Reality had caught me

I pulled on my hair
And covered my face
"Everyone *****, I want to die"
The only words I could speak
As I scratched at my arms

I growled and kicked
Like a cat in a brawl
Irritation filled my body
Anxiety engulfed my mind
A world of agony

I spoke aloud
But to myself
About hate and hostility
Concerned and panicked
When would this hell end?

Sister offered me more  
So this misery could stop
But only to began again
When I would remember reality
When I would remember this suffering

I told her I couldn't
This unpleasant feeling was torment
I needed desistance
But that was impossible
This discomfort took time
For it seemed everlasting

At the peak of irritation
I just couldn't take it
In need of something to abolish
This feeling of affliction
Only one thing could help

It's pure white consistency
Glimmered in the light
I reached for the straw
As sister laid the powder
Atop a book

It really carries it's name well
For this heroine saved me
From the long excruciating trip
That laid before me

I praise this beautiful drug
And all of its glory
It has cured my suffering
For I feel indebted to it

Although me and heroine
May only stay friends
Considering anything more
Would keep me stuck at her side
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