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she had flaked away her memories
and stepped up
with a ponderous heart,
held by two gentle hands;
and saying goodbye, did she,
as she slipped off her skin,
for the moment blood stains
the kumari's tender soul,
bereaved, will she become,
for a goddess never bleeds.

her feet shall never touch
the tattered, naked ground,
for it engulfs and devours
and burns off the kumari's flesh.
holding her pure spirit, and
  accepting a cruel death sentence,
her quivering soul
cupped but a glimmer of hope,
as the fire would flicker
and lash and whip
as her skin flakes again,
and the kumari vanishes.

but, if she remains unscathed,
blood shall be drawn,
and the gods will tremble and
her body will collapse.
the world will consume her
once again.

a kumari's blood,
drawn, now at death,
trembling and alone,
had she sobbed tears of joy,
for no longer the weight
must she bear in her heart,
of being a kumari;
but a kumari is she,
and the world has not chose her,
but she has chosen to be.

she had withered away,
heart no longer ponderous,
she stepped up.
and her wishes from within
passed on to the fearful others,
held by two gentle hands, and
with a gentle flutter of her eyes,
next to her charcoal stained skin,
had her heart stopped;
for her bejeweled crown had been stained with blood,
and the kumari realized that
she had died long ago.
i worked really ******* this
you defined my pain
and i'd be lying if wiped my tears and told myself
this lasts forever
my mind tricks me into thinking
i was worth something to you
because we all know, in the end,
my regrets will pile forevermore
and i can't say that
the words i speak have good intentions
everyone gives me hope that
i can be something more,
but i know
i mean nothing to the world

now read it from bottom to top.

abstract, #1

inspired after i read the poem "pretty ugly"
The moon seemed strange that night;
even in depths of sky, washed out, deep,
sickly mundane, dreary, threadbare
You sigh, it's nothing new,
the clasp of a pathetic idolized painting
It all
continuously fades into background noise.

A distant light cuts through the window
A plane, maybe, branching off into night
seen once to be forgotten, perhaps a detail forged by your mind—
This reality you lust for through skewed vision,
you, the puppeteer,
are twisting your only perception.

The constant buzzing will only get louder
you choose to ignore the aches as it shrieks
It's panting, drooling, devouring you inside out
teaching you the coppery taste of blood—
Mundanity can't be the answer, right?

Perhaps it is in human nature
to aimlessly claw towards the clouds
Bright, unrealistic,
encaptivating,
obedient, fulfilling the hunger of need,
it can be what you will it,
far more enticing than any night sky

So you heave your broken body along,
even far after your bones have died.
After all,
everything was already fractured to begin with.

Ah, well...

Close the curtains,
you were once scared of the dark
The moon, tired, beaten to death
still gawked at, its lifeless body, cold
You observe its scars, the wounds caving deep,
breathing shallow and bitter,
leave it to rest
and dance around in a hypnotic, bittersweet picture

For yes, you and the moon are one and the same;
All of it,
everything,
entirely corpse.
up for interpretation
beneath the everlasting heat,
i could hear her cold heart beat
tears pour endlessly to the river below
scars and cuts were the punishment bestowed
her fingers brushed across my wrist
"take away her pain," i meekly wished
she never noticed, but for have i
not only saved her, but let her fly.

beneath the everlasting heat,
i once heard her cold heart beat
the glint in her eyes only grew
i was happy now, but sadder too
confusion and doubt chained me down
she never knew she made me drown
in my thoughts, in my mind,
i only wished i could turn back time.

beneath the everlasting heat,
had i ever heard her cold heart beat?
i feel like i am spiraling away
spinning, waltzing, running astray
nobody will save me
they don't care
i thought she was,
but she was never there

beneath the everlasting heat
i never heard her cold heart beat.

always mine.
that heart i heard
was always mine.
.
I join the game,
I act so lame

but,
really I'm a troll
and the tides take a toll

I spout up dank memes
until the non-memers scream

and when pepe comes about,
take the meme-haters out

"stop, stop, noob!" they say
while eating Doritos and singing away

your 360 no scope can't **** me,
cause honestly, your 'friend' is my secret trustee

so bombard all you want

fill me with hate

the memers will meme on

until it gets...


late.

        








goodnight.
i'm sorry, i can't delete this. valuable memories.
why do tears leave all the stains
and smudge the ink i used?
why must you always rearrange
the tattered and abused?
yes, some things are too torn to fix,
but here i pray and wish and wish—
oh, these everlasting blues
i broke three promises made to you:
one, to always feel with heart,
two, to yearn when we're apart,
three, never admit wrong from the start—
my mind the stars and world the chart
oh, it's torture, everlasting blues,
why do i do what i do?
.
said i wasnt going to write about sadness again, im not sad, it's just i have a whole pile of poems left from when i was
together
the first flower bloomed
with her sisters
we watched it waver
as storms weeped
and weathered
we planted more seeds
of glowing hope
wishing, one day  
we could see
it flourish
into a beautiful garden
we could explore
forever
Intertwining vines between thin fingers,
ones which bear knives but adorn blossoms and bliss—
The once crafted petals pouring deep into carved wounds,
as crimson hues cascade, thorns threading every stitch

Whilst sewed beneath the seam, a poison I had dreaded so
which skewed my sharpened vision, my heart weakened to a woe
The stitch I sew is weak, although, must I dread when we're apart?
For the venom strikes within my veins and steals my somber heart.
Written July 2019
the good things in life seem to stay;
like the color yellow, or a warm summer's day
waking up early, running barefoot in grass
feeling the morning dew brush past

hearing the twinkle of an ice cream truck
if you go, you'll catch it, with luck
eating a popsicle as the sun beats down
riding a bike through a small playground

when dusk comes, once again
we're swimming at night and playing with friends
lighting sparklers that shine brighter than stars
popping cap guns you could hear from afar

running barefoot right down the street
giving the neighborhood dog a treat
taking polaroids like the pictures will stay
but lost them then, by the next summer day

watching as fog rolls slowly ahead
the sun goes down, so time for bed
excitement and thrill, time for a sleepover
the day, for now, will never be over!

karaoke on beds at the crack midnight
crashes of thunder, scary stories, and fright!
still, pretty soon,  we get used to it
or in the summer, it all happens quick

never sleeping, don't want it to end
even though there's the weekdays and weekend
glowing lights hang above the bed
sleepy eyes remind us dumb things said

summer, now, doesn't last forever
even if we must change the weather
we must savor it, you and me
and kiss summer hello thrillfully!
i'm so ready for summer! this is just a little peak how most of my summers go!
if the ink kept flowing still,
even when i'm gone,
the parchment would've worn and will
keep bleeding until dawn
a meek and mild fawn,
our hands intertwined, i see
love, but can it be?

and the ink was like a void,
endless, it drew me in
strong, yet slim and coy
it didn't end or begin;
the places it has seen?
everywhere, it seems
from stars to broken dreams
it never lets go of me

if it had stopped again,
it'd surely be a mistake
but i'm lying now, my friend
and these feelings no longer wake
our hearts, why must it ache?
yet, not for love, you see
to be adored and be set free

my lamp was like the sun
the paper, but a moon
they both depend on each other,
or so, they thought, but soon
sadly, tender moon
knew about the lies
the moon was never needed,
not even in the sky

and things like tumbleweeds,
tangled ***** of string,
express my thoughts in me
but don't even begin
to tell what i think within
it's so messy, yet so clean
my thoughts of shattered dreams

and upon a slender flower,
a tender little stem,
we have undying power
to speak feelings within
a pen glazed in glittered gold
easily has told,
by trickling some ink,
and using fragile strokes,
you can say just what you think,
even the untold.

the deepest oceans are the darkest ones
miracle eyes outshine the sun
forsaken forever, my heart you won
oh, miracle eyes, mend love undone

.
◇♡
enchanting, starless night
gently spilled moonlight
paint me in its fright
my heart is to ignite
love, shall we rewrite
beneath the meek twilight—
calling for the night,
"oh, cold and shattered bite,
embrace me in moonlight"
♡◇
. had to repost, i think it deleted?? idk where the original is :(
i dreamt about someone
i don't want to remember,
my heart begged not to think
but it overcame me;
the promises i lost
and memories i keep,
why can't escape you,
even when i sleep?

dream, #2

i'd call it more of a nightmare.
always, in the start, it seems,
that we can't fall apart
scared, i'll keep it locked away
deep within my heart.

pretend that i am all okay,
that i was never crying.
pretend, beneath the jealousy,
my heart just keeps on lying.

maybe if the sun came out,
my courage would follow too
and i would have the strength to say
"sorry, but i love you"

but i am only dreaming
of things that cannot be.
the way i look at you,
you'll never look at me.
Through the thicket and tempting tweet
coo downy gazes of passerine;
For 'yond it's feathers darkened blue,
I reached up, calling after you.
must be fate
perfectly poised, i paint poignant statures
alive yet devoid, an entrancing actor
diamonds and daggers i dazzled through
a circus girl's cunning, but a heart beats true

pirouette, ball change, waltz and twirl
singsong silly circus girl
my heart is heavy but i cannot weep
my eyes are closed but i never sleep.
.
your face illuminated in the moonlight,
glowing, soft and gentle features—
who were you, i wonder?
the stars above us speckling the sky,
i lean on your side, pain in your eyes,
and through your hurt i realize,
you glance at me, afraid, unsure.
my heart is stricken, my mind, it aches;
the surroundings were no match to your beauty.
i draw my hand meekly to yours,
our fingertips touch, i begin to slow back,
you're scared now, drawing weary breaths,
yet you held my hand, and i felt so real.
closing my eyes, sinking deeper into your arms,
and letting the night encase us both,
the sky felt true and memories numb,
but i knew it was all a dream.

dream, #1

i had a dream where i was on a boat with a beautiful stranger beneath the stars. they looked so in pain, yet so strong, with these eyes that were so stunning and hurt i just can't forget it, and it was inspiring
oh, rose addicted lips,
cruel and beautiful,
whisper your gentle lies
and ponder;
what do you despise more,
the ache or the release?
.
we've all done it
and it's okay to feel sad
so just curl up in a blanket
or listen to the beatles
and think about good things
or just let it all out
and rant to me
cause i'll be there to listen
even if i'm not there
you can still rant to me
cause eventually i'll hear it
and don't be sad about things that might not even happen
just keep in mind that things could change
for better and for worse
but i'm right here
so, the boy who cries alone at night
you're not alone
you're just crying
and it's okay
to just cry.
inspired by

— The End —