I looked into myself one day,
like I never looked before,
and I realized that what I have inside: I don't want it anymore!
All these weaknesses, this is not who I want to be;
this is not even how other people see me....
I thought I was stronger, I thought I was smarter, I saw myself braver, better than I was, I overestimated myself, I guess I just need a pause.
The door to my soul is open, it just doesn't close, maybe all of this is from a sadness overdose.
What I have inside, I need to clean it out; tried to do it alone, but it just wouldn't let go; all the problems in me just keep saying no! We won't go!
Now, I still got my faults,
I still have my flaws,
but I also disappointed myself;
I couldn't keep my own laws...
all things are in vain.
I thought I could do it,
but I had to learn the hard way,
only God can save me:
there is no other way;
you can improve yourself, sure,
you can get better, but there will be a time when you'll be caught off guard, later, when your not ready, or when your tired, who will hold you up then, someone you admired?
Anyone will criticize, anyone can point, but who will stop to help, who won't disappoint?
Only Jesus can help you, only He can set you free,
from the struggles inside,
from all of which you flee,
and no matter what,
to Him you can always go,
if you need help,
you can always ask, and the truth will set you free,
free from your own mask,
and your lies,
you won't need them anymore, cause on wings of truth you'll soar,
and when you'll need to stand,
you can stand tall,
on a mountain of truth from which you can never fall.
Now in Him I can improve, in Him I can grow,
because He forgave my sins, He made them go, no,
I don't have to worry, about my destiny, he gave me peace,
he made me worry-free.
I forgot it for a bit, forgot the way to the light, I forgot that He saved me long ago, saved me with His might.
There is nothing here for me, nothing more to see, so I'm on my way now, to become forever free.
I wrote this poem more than a year ago, when I felt really disappointed by myself for my lack of character and maturity.
It took me three days to write, in spite of the fact that it usually takes me about half an hour to finish a regular poem...