Pool of warm honey
I’m always drowning in you
I don’t seem to mind

I love you So Much
It’s 3am and I don’t
Want to go home yet

Sometimes
I want you
To leave me
Sweet nothings
In the pockets of my cardigan

I want to plant a garden
And water brown, dead flowers
I wish to reap
Just what I sow

I lay here
In bed
Bathed in soft orange light
Thinking of you
And your phantom
Touch
And the tears that sting
My eyes when I think
Of you
And your soft, golden skin
And the pale amber that bathes my walls
And my face
And spills into the night
At 2 A.M. when I’m cold
And pulling
The rich velvet
Blanket of your laugh
Up to my chin
In the dark.

I no longer bleed
When I pick up the pieces
Of my shattered self.

The puzzle is almost complete.
I can see a familiar face
Through the jagged cracks;
It's the forest through the trees.

Her smile is genuine,
Warm and bright.
She is as radiant as the sun
In the cleansing light of dawn.

A single, salty tear
Rolls down her cheek.
In that moment,
Her burdens are shed.

Hello, Old Friend.

The biting touch of the glass saunters
The curves of my skin.
A macabre melody surges
Through the hollows of my bones,
As my body is made a puppet,
Dancing to the discordant memories.

The webbing of the belt is lead
Against my gossamer chest.
Suspended in the air,
My limbs dangle like a sacrifice
To the shards below.

My vocal chords bleed
With each ghoulish plea from my lips
Until strong hands find my torso,
And I rise
Into the sickly light of day.

The cool air of the night is a pleasant foil
To the heat of the brackish liquid
Which caresses my cheeks.
My mangled laugh mars the stillness
As I remember the abyss
That welcomed me before
I nearly met the cold embrace
With such a finality.

My eyes linger
Just a little
Too long.
Quickly,
I avert my gaze,
As if my irises
Have been burned
By the sight,
By my shame.

Her lips are fresh
And pink.
I speak to them,
And I’m sure
She notices.

I wait for her
In the mornings
And eagerly
Anticipate her
Arrival to class,
Not-so-subtly
Saving a seat.

My heart flutters
At her casual
Touch.
My body leans in
And yearns
For more.

She is beautiful,
But she doesn’t know it.
I know I can’t have her,
But I crave her
Just the same.

It pains me
To keep my hands at my side,
To not cup her cheek,
To leave our fingers untangled,
To keep my sweet nothings
To myself.

I am an excellent liar
It’s one of the few talents
I possess,
And I likely should not
Be proud of it,
As it is a cause for concern
In many people

Do I speak sincerely,
They wonder
Am I who I claim
To be
Are my pretty words hollow

It is hard to trust someone
Who lies and lies
Just
For funsies

We all have a hunger
For more
Than what we have,
To be something we’re not

Not all itches are meant to be scratched

It's funny
Sometimes you have to nearly die
Before you can start living

I am better for my accident
I am not ashamed

Finally,
My soul gets the chance to
Breathe

You live oblivious
In a world of your own,
Lacking the chance
To explore the unknown.

Your time here on earth is just a short while
But you move quick enough to travel many a mile.
Bubbles of life are left in your wake,
But you depend on others
For the breaths that you take.

Tiny in body
But giant in soul,
You are anything but common
And more than your role.

Scales of gold shimmer in the sun;
Many share your traits, but in a million,
You’re the only one.

In a towering castle on psychedelic rocks,
You can hide
From this world and all of its shocks.

If you’re feeling social, you’ll come out to play,
Enchanting giants
Who walk in the light of day.

The gurgle of the filter is the only noise at night,
So you’ll call it a day
And snuggle up tight.

Not unlike Alice,
I, too, live in Wonderland
And shy away
From things I don’t understand.

Like you, I am unique in my skin,
Light pours from my heart,
And I glow from within.

We share our size,
But our limits know no bounds.
We are full of life
Even when no one’s around.

I depend
On friends and family
For love and support;
With a small group I’ve formed a rapport.

Though I’ll live several more years,
I still move at fast paces
Despite the unknown
And my fears.

You are trapped
By a bowl,
I am trapped by the chains of my age;
This often gives me rage.

I’m often bubbly and can put on a show.
We both need time to recharge,
Which many don’t know.

When night wakes
And the sun finds its bed,
Only you’ll retire,
For many ideas swirl in my head.

Sparkling eyes and tender flesh are shielded
From the world in a tight hug.
A photograph captures my father’s love.
Gentle waves come home to shore, sloshing against the sand,
A constant in this changing land.

A sunset paints the azure sky,
And its fiery orb disappears into cool gray water.
A paradise in a different world,
Away from troubles and danger,
During innocent days I can no longer remember.

Blue balloons and princess gowns and smiles from ear to ear.
A sprightly girl, I put on shows for all to see.
My mom’s Elly May, and my dad’s Brown Eyed Girl;
He’d take me dancing in the living room and give me a good twirl.
These are the days I’ve come to miss,
And I wish I’d taken two bags of Oreos rather than one.

Friday night crime shows, or perhaps a girl with ruby shoes
My parents would welcome me into their arms for a movie or two.
Easy Sunday mornings and breakfast at noon
From the radio floats the constant loop
That is my dad’s signature tune.

I couldn’t wait to be older and live on my own,
Like the adults in the shows that I came to know.
I was always too busy, I was always too tired,
I put in more effort than was required.

Mistakes found me by the dozen, relationships suffered,
I wish I had swiped left before there was no more of me to offer.
Unsatisfied and hungry, ready for more,
I jumped on new freedoms when I saw the open door.

Now that I’ve grown in many a way,
I look back and think and wish I could stay
In one of those times where the horizon was clear
And decisions about college wouldn’t come up the next year.

I take bigger portions, I dress in my own style,
Who would’ve guessed beauty standards would grow
Far more than a mile.

I fear for my future, and I fear for my now.
I know I’d get through it if someone told me how.
My parents astound me in so many ways;
They do the unfathomable each and every day.
For a girl who can barely find her way home,
The world is a shark, looming with the unknown.

What lies in the future, no one can tell.
Before it gets better, it’s sure to be hell.
I don’t think I’m ready, and there’s so much at stake.
Perhaps I should be left in the oven to bake.

Everyone’s getting older; I wish it would stop.
I’d pay millions to the man who could turn back the clock.
I long for the good times, I long for simple days,
Yet I know no matter how many stars I wish on,
The now is here to stay.

I’ll smile and laugh about the future.
I’ll even put on a brave face,
But not for a second should you doubt
I’d rather be some other place.

My days are not exceptional
I get up, I eat, I breathe
And I go back to sleep.

I am simple.
I'm colored in gray.

She is the sun,
A brilliant, bright yellow.
Her face has color.
In her eyes,
There is light.
She is young.

But I
Am not.
We share our years
In number alone.

Because my bones
Are heavy with time.

She is the moon.
She pulls,
And I will follow
As she commands.

Burning brightly as fire,
I am ensnared
By her haughty gaze.
I will share with her the beauty
Of the world around us.

Once she emerges
From her personal bubble,
From her small
World of self.

With age comes patience.
I can wait.