Nowadays, is this a world for poetry?
Anyway, I suppose there couldn’t be.
And this may seem like a promotion
But I assure you people
It feels more like slow motion.
If you were to write poetry,
What would you write about,
And more importantly, how?
This audience of children
Surely cannot understand
They couldn’t possibly comprehend.
Well the reason I write
Is because my voice cannot sing
Nor rap or any other popular thing,
But back then it was great
To write a verse, a perfect stanza
For the Greek meaning of ‘poetry’
Is to merely create.
So I do ask this generation
My most important question;
I find myself
afraid to ask for relationship
afraid to muster any sense of
reluctance or hesitancy
in the ones I love
to become another chore on a list
instead of a desire
but yet I'm
afraid to not ask
afraid that if I don't say a word
I will be forgotten
because I question if I was really
wanted by those loved ones
in the first place
or if I was a burden
from the first time I let myself
There is a difference between depression and just being upset.
You see people want to state they are “depressed” because they want something they can’t get.
Depression is the feeling of unbearable sadness,
It’s the feeling of being worthless.
The feeling that they don’t care ,
Just because your issues can’t compare.
When you have depression you can’t look at your self in the mirror,
Depression is when the feeling of happiness is so unfamiliar,
It’s like not knowing the difference between a victim and a killer.
See kids want to say they are depressed because they don’t get what they want.
Depression isn’t something people want to flaunt.
Depression is being to scared to tell someone because you’re scared of judgment.
You start to become dormant,
Because you think that they won’t ask cause you’re not important.
But when they ask you say you’re tired.
All because depression has you tied up like a jail bird.
the undulating structure of the sea, woman
~for Megan Sherman~
you message me a brief, sweet like of
my poem's structure, describing it as
"undulating like the sea."
you deserve much more that I can now provide,
the hour late, yet your succinct observation
engages my retinas deeper into oceans of imagination.
but told to "turn off the light,",
a standard life intrusion,
so for once in my life,
perhaps brevity, may here gain the upper hand.
but probably not.
no, this poem does not undulate.
I live by the sea, and its habits, guises and habitués,
her stockings and high heels, and come hither looks,
well known to me. Ha! most nights it even feeds me.
as I compose, she hides quiet, fifty yards away, no more,
causing no trouble tonight, yet seen it don and unmask
a schizophrenia of multiple personalities most terrible
in minutes as short as seconds.
rage and frothy spit, begging she be allowed to
swallow whole men and ship, harboring monsters,
that populate the nightmares of one called Jonah me.
her murdering riptides and lunar tricks
that are mathematically calculable and therefore predictable,
even then, wise man still most helpless charmed by
the fake news of the surficial, gentile, ladylike, curtsying, cutesy lapping, waving oh hello waves,
drown us with the greatest of ease,
which is what I think you mean when you say
the sea sexy be undulating, performing its best and finest trickery.
yes, the sea is a women and its fluidity, nonpareil.
Have you ever seen a woman undulate?
see my notes below;
when the sea or a woman undulate,
things too oft die.
this poem is unstructured, its heartbeat,
arrhythmic, and now, well, lady past midnight,
indeed, unhappy, unsure of the why of this poem,
its purpose undefined but you said:
causing the sovereignty of my unconscious
to see a ballerina, her arms, moving unnaturally,
laying herself down to die
did I forget to mention
this poem was born on the ferry crossing the sea,
required to reach the island keep where
the home that I now lay prone in bed now writing
almost, soon enough,
having read your words, felt a poem instant birthing,
as the bow cut thru calm, undulating waves
while a storm in my eyes, the rancor of experience screamed,
my aminotic fluids joining the waters beneath my feet,
your words caused
and a ballerina waving arms swept me low,
watch me undulate unto death
and better now I understand the why of you,
for we both junkie addicts,
enslaved by the undulating
arms of our muses, and this then,
the nature of our
so be wary of the sea, and writing, the heroin of poetry addiction,
given half a chance,
you will quite happily drown
when they both beckon,
8-19-17 ~ 8-20-17
11::04 pm - 3:24am
You taught me how to breathe and then how to appreciate it.
You knocked the wind out of me when you stepped closer and leaned in to whisper in my ear.
You left me gasping for air anytime your hand brushed against mine.
I was breathless every time you shared your plethora of knowledge with me.
And then I truly was deflated when you left.
Like two hands wringing every last drop of oxygen out of my lungs,
You left and I waited on pins and needles to hear from you.
Only coming up for air when I would get a reply.
I could fill
All the space between the stars
With the things I don't know
And I think that's pretty poetic
On it's own.
isn't your mind like a galaxy full
Of exploding stars and
A galaxy waiting
For somebody daring enough
To explore your beautiful
Dark brown, blue, light blue
light brown,hazel, green
Out of all the other colors,
you have the one that i like.
once these set of eyes of mine settled on yours,
I saw the whole color spectrum, A rainbow of divine detail,
of which my heart only seeks for.
What's in there? I ask
I know nothing, Yet when i look inside your eyes, every dark, and light color
illuminates me with hope, of which hope only dies for.
that is the color of hope
as long the light of your eyes are there,
ill seek and reach you for the skies
because your beauty and divinity only comes from heaven.
When I entered therapy I thought the grief
Would never ever leave me, would never go away
I felt I could never have any happiness
With the agony I experienced in that day
I feared I would start weeping
And that it would never cease
The truth is that with each shed tear
Has come enormous release
There once was a time when crying
Was a dangerous thing not then allowed
So all of my feelings had to be held inside
My yesterday’s became entangled with my now
Once I began to shed tears
There came to my insides
A deepening sense of inner peace
And I began really healing and learning besides
I implore you if you are a person overwhelmed by grief
To listen to what I say because I’ve been there
One day you’ll realize as you go throughout your day
That the tears have slowed and you feel more of life aware
Don’t be afraid to allow
Someone else to see your weep or mourn
For the tears will slow and to a reasonable flow
And you will find yourself reborn
Fear not, the tears will cease
Do you know what these men say to me?
eyes and their mouths
when I walk on the street.
With a grin and a nod
and a look up and down.
A wink and a kiss
and a cat call heard from downtown.
With my skirt short
and my top
It’s a cold world daddy
doesn’t mean no.
Daddy do you know
how these men look at me?
Like I’m a piece of meat
strutting down the street?
With my head buds in
and my favorite song on.
I’m asking for it Daddy,
I’m in the wrong.
Do you know how it feels
not to wear what I like?
To walk a little faster
when I’m alone at night?
Daddy the world is my predator
and I am it's doe,
Daddy what happens
when I can’t say no?
The firefly flutters about at night
exposing bright light into darkness.
to bring flashes to eyes
that ignite dreams.
Their goal to move
with wind on wings
to carry hope
and cleanse darkness before day.
They're little night fairies
meant to send love
through eyes that see.
IT IS AT ONCE
( for Monica )
It is at once
nothing and everything.
A simple incident
"Your shoelace is open
she tells him in case he
shoud fall or stumble.
"I know that love
but I can't get down to it."
So, Monica Sweeney
kneels and ties
my father's undone shoelace.
This simple act of compassion
and respect for his age
achieves for him
almost Biblical proportions.
It's almost insignificance
a tiny treasure."
"It was like being Christ..."
he will tell me after as
only he could tell it
each telling bringing tears.
"...having his feet dried
by Mary Magdalene's hair."
Even in his dying
he will recall it
" that lady helped me
whenI couldn't help myself
she was kindness itself"
It was at once
everything and nothing
I'm going to be straight
Yes I went on a date
With a girl trying to forget
How we met,
And I could go on a rant
In the feelings I felt
When she touched on my belt
Cuz not a single one was good
It didn't feel like it should
Because I thought of a shadow
Who had me feeling alive
Stomach full of butterflies
So I pushed her away
I ran right out of the room
And into the street
Where the clouds started to beat
Rain into my face, hiding my fear
Disguising my tears
I let fall in disgust
I must be
To be acting like the dick that I am
I don't understand
Where my head went
So I now vent
Onto a white page
Hoping I'm not too late
To apologize and say,
I'm sorry for treating you that way
I left you alone
I shouldn't have run
And you could have anyone
So I'd understand if my shadow wanted to leave
Our short human lives
Compared to the Earth’s, are but ‘a blink of the eye’
At least that’s the saying
We’re nothing compared to this planet’s rotating
Do we keep the earth on orbit, constantly alive?
Will the planet care if any of us die?
No, I don’t think it needs us to survive
Can you say I’m needed if I keep someone sane?
Is that really a purpose, if it’s not hundreds who change?
And does it even matter if human lives aren’t needed anyways?
I’m not sure, and I’d really like an answer
Compared to our planet
Our lives are short, are meaningless
Compared to a star
Our planet is so small, isn’t it?
And stars burn bright, yeah
But they die too
And stars help no one
If they’re too far away from you
A star, in infinite space
Only can so long secure a place
And then something happens, and they have to go
Perhaps they destroyed themselves, just died, or were swallowed by a black hole
Despite how different we seemingly are
Us humans aren’t too different from stars
Killing ourselves, simply fading out, or letting that black hole swallow our heart
I’ve let a black hole drag me into the dark
I call myself a wanderer of the heavens
And if I’m a star girl
Surely I should burn in
an attempt to change this world
But I don’t think I shed enough light
I’m dying too quickly, can’t help a damn thing in sight
We all have a story to tell.
We can stand alone or become part of a bigger picture together.
We come in different shapes and sizes.
We are all part of a kaleidoscope of various colors like individual gems.
We are each unique but we can band together and become part of a masterpiece.
Some of us maybe smoother than others.
Some of us maybe a little bit jaded.
Some of us may have more lines than others.
While some of us are shapelier than others.
We can choose to shine alone or shine together like precious gems to become a masterpiece of stained glass, if we join together and let the light shine through us.
Let your light shine.
i sent flashing lights to his door,
i didn't want to risk it.
the image of those pills and that deep brown coffee liqueur scared me, the thought of him filling himself with it.
he told me he wasn't mad at me for it,
he told me everything was okay and not to do it again, though.
i guess he felt too bad,
i guess it hurt him like last time.
she sent the flashing lights to the forest,
she told me that things weren't looking up.
my cheeks are tacky with tears,
my nose is stuffy.
now i'm just waiting all night,
now i'm just waiting until i get a message that they found him in the forest.
i can't sleep knowing that i'm part of why,
i can't sleep wondering if he'll be okay.
My needs are mine to fill,
as breathe deep
and focus with
ingredients of thought.
My container cooks
with heat from heart.
Vessel bubbles within
as vapors expand
with creative energies.
Blessings are added
Love is added
like special spice,
as alignment is felt
to move in grace.
Every morning I drink,
from my sacred concoction
balancing to feel grounded
in-order to follow purpose.
Purpose, to share my recipe
so others feed
from their own hearts
to feel peace.
StarBG © 2017
I love you.
But this love will swallow me alive like the ocean before I'll tell you about it...
Unless the misery of knowing that
you're just not here
eats me up first.
There are no buts. You will come back, or you won't. You will be safe, or you won't. You will love me, or...
I don't want to think about that. Theorizing and hypothesizing just make things worse.
But the thought of living without you, here, in this empty house, at this empty table, with this empty mug that once held coffee, is an idea I cannot bear.
(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna
This world of black and white
filled with words bursting of colors
I hear things,
wind chimes swaying softly
in the warm, night breeze
the sound of pure bliss
yet there are still
the beautiful soft words, of
a young soul, drawing inspiration
and a very quiet pain.
What if the memories of peace were as strong as the memories of War
If visions of peace replaced horrors of War
Let us prepare for peace
Stockpile it in bunkers to be released
Load it into verbs to fly thru the sky
On targeted bulls eyes
Create industry from the sweat of peace not the blood of War
Why is it so easy to rationalize War as an acceptable emotion
Peace as an unobtainable practically
The pipe dream of whimsical folly
A mark of weakness to be mocked
Yet peace talks
It speaks volumes in whispers
In the rushing of rivers
In Summers shimmering sunsets
In the pre dawn stillness is the promise of voice
Since he left
Everything changed ... everyone aged
Since he left ... all of them started to get their affairs in order
They started to look older ...
yesterday ... I saw my mother staring at the sky as if she was looking at it for the first and last time ... My father gently placed his arms around her and whispered in her ears some words I couldn't comprehend
" I hope they will be fine if we leave suddenly" he said ... "if they wake up to a world that is not friendly ... if they find out the truth about their untrustworthy extended family" ... if they look around only to find no love in their proximity ...
no warmth in their homes and no hope in their eyes ...
Since he left
i want you
in every way there is to want a person
from lazy rainy days
sitting around in underwear
wrapped up in the covers
enveloped in each other
to lustful late nights
high happy and in love
too absorbed with each other
to focus on anything else
i want you
and i see so much in you
that counting all your perfections
would be like counting the stars
there's too many to keep track of
and they just seem endless
i am utterly in love
with every inch of your being
every corner of your mind
and everything in between
i might not know what i believe
or where i'm going
or what i'm doing
but i do hope
you'll hold my hand
and wander blindly with me
because as long as i'm with you
i don't need a destination
you are the journey
i am simply enamored with your entity
captivated by your character
I love her, from her head to her toes
The way she dances, the way her body flows
Like water, through me, exposing me
Leaving me open, leaving my thoughts without clothes
Her hair is like the night
Dark, and strong,
whether she wears it curly or straight, she couldn’t go wrong
Her mind is like the moon
It shines light in my dark,
it gives meaning, full of ideas it embarks
Her lips are like a cloud
at least they take me to a cloud
And I don’t deserve them, they humble me whenever I’m too proud
And after every kiss, I get to watch her smile,
After every kiss, I get to hold her in my arms a while
After every kiss, I can imagine her walking down the aisle
Her laugh is pure happiness, it brings peace to my soul
vibrations of energy reach my ears
A song from a heavenly home
I save the best for last, her smile is like the sun
Life giving essence, certainly the quintessence
of what God desired when he created love
Something that can only be explained as something unexplainable
But something that fills my heart and my soul
But I desire all of you, and you, every night to hold
There lies the hope
Shattered into small intricate pieces
Left to be blown away by a strong current.
And darling you destroyed my world
Left me hanging together
Like thinning thread
Bleeding from a profound wound
Stinging to the touch.
My God I've seen so much over the years
The Black Death screaming to take me
The drunks counting their loose change
For one golden can of cheap beer
Drinking it like the thirst is undying
Like the magic is there
Inside something that leads to more
I rejected the chance to become a man of my word
I crawl into a hole every night
Drunk to the stars
Grasping onto a swollen envelope of love letters.
And it strikes me
My liver is descended in liquid
My heart is unqualified
And this haze is thicker than the mist
That powers through this town in the light of morning.
I wake to a stricken morning
A snowy wind hitting against the windows
The tress screaming out
Swaying at an almighty pace.
I swallow two painkillers
To set me up to fail
I dress my aching body
Managing not to break bones.
I take a drink of cheap wine
Nasty on the tongue
I think it might be off
Swimming in dirtiness
Curdling my uneasy gut.
My hands are dry
My beard is itchy
My life is swollen like a abscess
Ready to release puss.
The TV blares out politics
I scorn the man
Spitting his woes
His laughable thoughts
His damaged world
For all to piss on.
I go through old boxes
Stacked up like a small skyscraper
I look at her angelic eyes
Her enchanting face.
I can't leave her to rot in a box
I place the picture as a centrepiece
For me to look at when I'm feeling
Tired of living.
(a cluster of 10W)
T'was on a stroll
one cold and windy
palettes of colors
straying to another realm
leaves of brown
orange, yellow ochre
t'was pure conscience
............that gave voice
made plaintive cries heard
my fractured existence
broken into pieces
to soft moist beds,
o, set me free
in my absence
new life emerges,
the earth is round.
Copyright September 22, 2017
I sleep with my volume on tonight
Because all I wanna to do
Is hear the words
"I need you"
I sleep in hope of what we might be
Call it instanity
It won't be the same this time
But I promise you'll hear your name the next time
Our relationship will blossom
Others will question
"What got em'?"
It's called trust
It's called love
Something we must never let go of
You're my one
You're my all
I still fall
For the sound of your voice
Even in my mind
"Your hearts racing"
"It's because I'm in love with you"
Well my sweet love
I'm in love with you too.
when we fall
we fall hard
tearing down stars
crashing through skies
grinding out craters with our feet
churning through oceans
blasting out deserts
running rivers dry
with a passion that destroys worlds
and births galaxies from our dust
Parties are fun,
But then I don't like them,
An introvert does not like it because,
They have no one to walk beside them,
No one to follow,
Strangers face all around,
No groups to join,
No one I trust,
And it eats me up from inside,
To watch others have fun,
Laugh and dance with loved ones,
And I feel jealous,
Angry and sad,
To them I envy,
Sit alone in a corner,
And be polite,
And not scream out of,
Not a single friend there.
Ok so here we are
You at your house, me at mine
Sending pictures back and forth
But not those pictures, like the ones I used to send,
Which made me feel less like me and more like all of those girls.
We are sending pictures with our faces and sentences that make me smile because I love your sense of humour.
Ok so the things you do
The things you do, well…
It’s hard to say exactly how I feel about those things
I don’t agree with all of them
Like the smoking you do
To be honest it makes me jealous,
Jealous of that cigarette because it’s the one that gets to touch your lips instead of me
Your lips, hmmm im not sure I want those lips on mine
Because the smell of smoke makes me sick
But then I look at your lips and it makes me rethink.
Ok so the music you listen to,
The music you listen to tells a story
Unlike the ones which are just boring
Your favourite song the one you told me about,
The other night when we were sending those pictures with our faces and the sentences that made me laugh
The song was about taking your life
I wondered if it was a sign that you were in a fight with life
I don’t say anything but you know how I struggled with that problem
Now im sitting here thinking of all the things I said,
Wondering if it’s really worth the risk
So I make a list in my head and starts it with
How can thoughts be real
They're not solid enough to touch
So how can someone manifest
A feeling such as love?
Squeeze it in your hands
It's forcing us to trust
In the invisible
Because although you can't see it
It can still disappear
Love is the sad song
That left you crying in your beer
It can hit you
And you best believe it's true
Love is as real
As the way I feel for you
I've changed because of you.
So much about me has changed.
I'm not even sure who I was before I had you.
I'm not even sure if I want to be her again.
I've grown so confident.
I've developed patience and honesty.
I know who I am, and have accepted myself.
I enduldge in the things I love and don't hide what those things are.
I've matured and learned how to love in a truly healthy way.
I no longer rely on others.
I don't need someone in my life to take care of me any longer.
Though just because I don't need doesn't mean I don't want.
I can't imagine living through a day without talking to you.
Without proving how much I love you and want you in my life.
You're apart of every part of my world.
Everything about the person I've become has been supported by you.
I want to live the rest of my life spending everyday being influenced by you.
Maturing with you.
Changing with you.
Being in love with you.
However I've lost you..
The one constant I will never want to give up.
I just pray that one day I'll get you back.
The world dulls more and more each day without you by my side.
If he could know my songs are all for him,
At silver dawn or in the evening glow,
Would he not smile and think it but a whim,
If he could know?
Or would his heart rejoice and overflow,
As happy brooks that break their icy rim
When April’s horns along the hillsides blow?
I may not speak till Eros’ torch is dim,
The god is bitter and will have it so;
And yet to-night our fate would seem less grim
If he could know.
A human's mind is such a flash thing.
So flexible, so destructible, so invisble,
Yet so huge.
You can't explain your mind,
Somehow it's the source of your every thought.
But it's fragile,
One day our thoughts will vanish from our minds.
Which is why our best thoughts,
they must be stored,
Should I share the most valuable thing with someone else? Another mind? No.
I must write,
I must keep my thoughts and feelings in the pages, where they're safe.
I will let the ink and the paper be my trusted ones.
Have you ever committed a sin
Again and again and again
Where it becomes a part of who you are
Scar upon scar upon scar
You started out asking forgiveness
Feeling sorry like nobody's business
Until it knocked on your door once again
And you let it come waltzing back in
Hating the time that you give it
Wondering why you can't quit it
You battle it so many times
Is this fast forward or is it rewind
Like a comfortable recliner set up in the den
You start to relax around the same sin
Thank goodness there's no film at six
Showing the shame of this over used sin
Like a cancer that clings to the bone
A sin that won't leave you alone
Wretched man that I am
Who can save me from this over used sin
Thanks be to God, who delivers me
Through Jesus Christ who sets me free