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halle Jan 21
i just find it funny
that two days ago — you didn't have any friends
but now that i've got one foot out the door,
i'm suddenly your best friend?
how does that make sense?
how should that make sense?

i don't suddenly matter to you,
you're just afraid of being lonely.
welcome to my world, and if
you're anything like me —
you'll get used to it.
halle Jan 20
please oh my god
tell me you hate me
i want you to hate me
if it'll get you to feel
something at all
halle Nov 2020
“you can’t recreate the past,” is what nick told gatsby with a sincere look.
gatsby only rolled his eyes, which should have given away the ending of the book.
in fiction, more often than not, the ones who break the rules get punished.
my life, albeit nonfiction, followed this rule to the syllable.
it might have been my party, but i was not the one to run it.

it’s sometimes easy to see the world in that sort of way.
rose-colored nostalgia paints red skies out of the ones of gray.
although red is danger, red is violent and red is fear —
i’d gladly take that and replace the monochromatic world you escaped when you left me standing here.

you were scared, and you ran off with the first easy way out you could find.
saw the black photos of you dressed in white and it made my throat clench because
in all actuality, the fault is all mine.
people like you never want to work for what’s good.
you can party, sway and sing all night but you crawl out while being chased by the orange-yellow-redness of the crack of dawn

green always was your favorite,
but now, is it brown?
(she’s a beautiful girl, but she has no business running away with angels).
i bet being with her is easier, less painful but it can’t turn your word upside down.
(not the same way that i did. god, do you even remember? were we ever that young and innocent?).

you were.
i never was.
i try to ignore the irony,
but i still think of you and my mind gets filled with a fuzz.

you were born to run and never look back, but you curse those that you enchant.

i know it’s no way to live, and that i shouldn’t cry in the darkness of the night anymore.
i’ve got all the world in the palm of my hand, but if you looked back just once, i’d throw it out to sea
like it was a rock i found on the shore.

i’ll be sure to throw better parties, inviting my real friends instead of the likes of you.
i don’t want to be so punch-drunk that i miss the one thing i have waited around for — i’ve taken those rose-colored glasses off, too.

i deleted your number from my phone,
although i know you weren’t going to call
tell me, july princess, do you remember
the nights when we had it all?
we sat on the couch, love in our lungs
and tried to write each other’s futures
in promises, parties and sparklers?
i’m trying to accept that it’s gone
and all the promises now empty
i know why you left and when you did,
for empty is how you left me
but i lived a good life without you before
so i will pick myself up from off the blood-stained floor

now i listen to happy songs
and know i’m better off without
our love should have been your temple
and you should have been more devout
you told me you got rid of my poems
and dear, it made me laugh.
there are millions more where that came from
each one better than the last.
you’re gone — you don’t have to tell me
so am i — no need to sell me
the color of your eyes used to be my favorite shade of blue
but now i see the sky, the water, the waves all like they’re brand new
I hope you don’t do what you did to me, to her
then again, she stood by idly, without a single word
so good bye, sweet love, my summer sunshine girl
our love was once gold, but nothing gold can stay and i’m reclaiming my world
halle Nov 2020
waves crashing,
wind blowing

everything comes and it goes just as quickly
you never own anything in this world,

you borrow it, really
halle Nov 2020
i look at him and i know

why evil men lock

beautiful creatures up

to hide them from

the world's wandering eye

one day, he will leave

whether i like it or not

( i do not ),

nothing against him,

but that's what they all do

don't they?
halle Nov 2020
i wanna move out to the middle of scenic nowhere to feel fresh air
and be 20 miles away from everywhere

to see who cares to see me, to see who does
and grow my hair long and mousy brown
just because
halle Aug 2020
I cut my hair and
Started singing the blues
My heart can’t go on without you
Because it won’t know what to do
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