"shithead" poems
I trace the memories kept behind like fingerprints.
The love we had is now crushed and swept away by a wave of
our indolence and insanity.
I go back to the time of sadness,
Because it was the sadness of her eyes the made me
happy
happy
happy
and somewhat sane…
All I have left are the mental photographs of what happened
and of wanting what could have been. I leave now with all the
things that I traced—things that can never be erased
like fingerprints that never
ever had changed.
I sit here alone in this disease-ridden couch, with my
disease-ridden hope. And I will memorize your eyes,
blinking to the rhythm of you heartbeat, dancing in a starlit daydream—as
I am wishing of a memory where you gave me
everything you had
and where I offered you the pieces that were left
of me.
I kept all memories of you in a heart-shaped box,
where it is slowly crumbling as time goes by.
I kept all your secrets,
your playbook,
your cards,
your broken cassettes and cigarettes
our now and always,
your sad eyes and the happiness you had
and which made me smile again.
So maybe fingerprints and memories share a common thing. They say
that “good things happen to those who wait”, I’d say keep on waiting,
******** I have been waiting, and still all I’ve traced is
the measurements of my
indolence and insanity. So yeah, keep on waiting.
Sep 7, 2015
Sep 7, 2015 at 11:35 PM UTC
-Light up a cliche under a streetlight
while singing "the Star Spangled Banner"
and receiving oral from a trans-woman.
**** in the drive-thru of an Arby's.
-Fist fight a bear that people
find much uglier than myself.
Made a bucket list of ****
I think might be legitimately worth doing;
haven't run it by my girlfriend yet.
Speaking of which,
she deserves a round of applause
for dealing with my melodramatic ********
-Strike a police officer,
after robbing a bank with a water pistol.
I wanted to call her to let her know
I'd chased a bird till it crossed the street
and tweeted at me in anger or excitement.
Flipping the bird "the bird", I shouted,
**** YOU BIRD!"
and continued home.
-Throw a rock at a train.
-Toss a Molotov Cocktail at a moving car,
and cook a hot dog in the flames.
She deserves a million dollars
and a ******* Nobel peace prize.
-Call one of those panhandling
money worshiping televangelists
a **** bird, and offer them to ****
themselves [the ugliest people I can think of].
-Wear a habit over a burka.
I don't believe in souls, soul mates,
anything supernatural or special,
but I love that woman,
and that's why I believe in love.
-Not die alone.
Jun 15, 2014
Jun 15, 2014 at 12:51 PM UTC
So forever lasted five short years
before you turned my smile to tears
before you threw my love away
almost five years ago today
Happy anniversary ******** !
Aug 5, 2010
Aug 5, 2010 at 4:10 PM UTC
I want to smush my face in a big fat delicious frosted cake,
and blow out candle after candle and watch ice cream melt
as I dig through the moist sugary cake-bread with my fists,
and I eat everything I want in this delicious, nice restaurant
I want to pout at anyone else who makes grumpy faces,
I am the **** queen so it's my gosh **** party, dang it
I want to drink until I almost throw up and then do drugs
and grab ******* and scream with laughter and true fun!
I want to flash strangers and get birthday kisses and hugs
I want to smear lipstick all over my face, I want GLITTER
I want to roll in checks from relatives in far-off places
with the clothes and money and drugs that I will buy
I want to cry big crocodile tears over wrapping paper
and wear a pretty crown and take pictures, please yes
I want to smile so hard my cheeks hurt, ouch, and get away
with being a little ******** because I'll say sorry tomorrow
I want firecrackers and free things and fun fun fun fun fun fun fun
because it's my birthday, and I get to do whatever the **** I want!
Jun 2, 2013
Jun 2, 2013 at 12:07 PM UTC
Perhaps you were cold
or maybe broke and hungry
but know it was bold
to pilfer things from me
If it was unattended
I might understand
but it was ******* attended
very ******* close at hand
At least you were decent
and left me my keys
Oh, wait! No you're a ****
I hope your **** gets disease
If I ever find you
I'll rip out all your teeth
I wouldn't **** you, true
but you're a worthless, ******** thief.
Now I'm not quick to anger
and I've got a long fuse
you best accept the danger
with the targets you choose
So know that I'm ******
and I'm ready to attack
You're high on my Shit-list
and I want my ******* coat back
Mar 20, 2010
Mar 20, 2010 at 9:11 AM UTC
Byron enjoyed the feedback on his first run at poetry and asked me to extend his appreciation to you. As he said, "Thank 'em for me."
That lead to a discussion on some of the figures of speech he innately used in his pig roast invitation. I seized the moment to explain that a similie was an indirect comparison using words such as "like," or "as."
"Oh, like, you're a ********
We moved on to metaphors.
"Oh, you are a ********
If we should get to it,
Anthropomorphism will pretty much sum up the Byronic universe
A hero.
Jun 28, 2014
Jun 28, 2014 at 7:42 PM UTC
The Classic (Horror)
*********************
You dumb
Don't know how to do this?
You fool
Don't know what it is?
You ********
You don't know anything
Waste of a life
I wondered if
I'm good for at least eating.
He's your master
And THAT is his masterpiece
What have you got to show?
Go to him again.
Wait till he ratify you
My father brainwashed
Determined, I went back to the sir
I want to have my masterpiece
And soon I did have
My masterpiece
Not one.
Not two.
But many.
MASTERPIECES!!!
Since then
My master wasn't seen
By none
Any doubts?
Oct 18, 2017
Oct 18, 2017 at 11:59 AM UTC
i never knew when forgiveness of ******
deviations equated to
the obscurity of citizen allowances,
whereby i was excused from doing ****
like i was excused from having a conscience
stealing your herd of sheep...
but i guess i must have a medieval mentality,
******** childish, having to interpret
the profanity of the tetragrammaton
with the canonical gospels' acts of dispersion,
you said ****** were akin to
meat cleavers... fair enough...
god forgives me butchering you like you
were forgiven having a frolic in the hay...
and we're all one big happy family...
'cos i swear that's when ambiguity on the dogma
entered and the nadir was expressed:
sin - ****** ambiguity - equated itself
to crime - citizen ambiguity -
you want to put that forth to Buddhist
authority chaining ******** bandwagons of
thieves en route to the Tibetan Vatican?
only so much is allowed,
given you're championing one Jew of your fancy
while giving others the gas-chambers...
ain't it just Prince's 1999... we're gonna party
like it's 19-99.... i think you mistook sin with crimes...
that's my "doctorate" opinion...
you said **** with thieving being synonymous,
Christ was saving Greek intellectual culture
with the pederast **** to boot...
St. Paul was encouraging circumcision,
twat-like people with a statue of Buddha asking
whether head meant the shaved one ******
or whether it meant the prickly one gagged on
was on the cards - goose-pimple **** frostbite...
the moment when the forgiveness of sin
turned into the forgiveness of crime...
hence such ****** freedoms right now,
and a... ah... whatever... of challenged citizenship,
why would i? why would anyone even bother?
**** it, let's go crazy, Las Vegas is waiting for us,
the cowboys will never churn out a Thatcher
to "rule the world".
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 9:31 PM UTC
Thinking. And thinking.
It's always about a number of things,
My mind never likes only one topic
Mostly because I get bored easy.
And I think, I'm not interested in boys.
I'm interested in men.
Not this annoying, ball-less ******** that hasn't learned a thing.
Maybe that's why I'm forever in love with Tom Hiddleston.
And I think, my body is wierd.
Made of broken pieces,
Glued together by angel spit.
(I guess it's been battered, as my bones are falling apart as we speak.)
And I think, I'm done with friendship.
All it seems to do is bring me woe.
You all are now acquaintances,
Far enough away that you can't shoot me.
And I finally think, I'm happy.
Even with the **** scars and broken heart,
I like the words I speak and how they power through a room.
I love each morning, a new oppurtunity for adventure.
Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013 at 12:07 AM UTC
Reach to me anyway you can
Just say a word, just blink, or maybe hold my hand
If I close my eyes and breathe in, will I feel you next to me?
I want to feel you next to me.
Desperation during a break up. Because I was...
Always wanting, never accepting the love that was put in front of me
Complaining, sneering, grumpy
Analyzing faults, picking apart the insecurities of people while
Holding them close and loving them and being the best **** lover
Paranoia, nothing is ever satisfactory
The best **** lover.
I'm ******
Tobi, wake up.
Leo, wake up.
Elliot, wake up.
Who the **** are you?
Confusion on who you are, where you are, what you are.
There is no gender identity disorder, but a disorder that makes me feel like
I was born into the wrong era, environment and world.
WAKE UP
I'm sorry's never travel long enough.
Perhaps hand written and sent with a stamp, would travel.
Neatly written, script font, seal the letter with a kiss and spray with your favorite perfume
The heavy sigh of "I didn't mean to hurt you", no spray can mask the guilt
Gulp
Own up to it.
You did it.
Now what?
Are you far away? I know you're close.
I've been drowning in a short empty sea of self loathing and self-deprecating ********
I could have made it up.
I could have made it up, to the top.
Waking up from a sleepless night, and not wanting to open my eyes.
Feeling a deep pain and regret within my chest as I take the first breaths of the day
No sunshine, no fresh air, only static within the sheets
Freezing cold
Always wondering, always wanting, never satisfied.
Where am I? Where are friends? What is a family? What is love again? Do I have a girlfriend?
It gets tiring after a while, to be this depressed
I don't want to die, I don't want to cut myself, I don't want a silly suicide note
Just listen to The Beatles "Help! I need somebody!"
Get up soldier, get in order. Chin up. Stop being a ********
Relax, hold your head up. Keep going.
****
The first start is to say goodbye
and an eventual hello will come to you.
Jan 29, 2014
Jan 29, 2014 at 11:11 PM UTC
I don’t see people anymore,
only shadows.
I see their past and future
trailing behind and ahead
the constant lagging and catching up of them.
I am the patch-work mish-mosh
made-up creature-being
with Past / Future / Present
silly-goose whatnots.
I am the girl you laugh with at Starbucks
because you’re too ****** bored to live for coffee.
I get it.
Let your smiling teeth do the talking.
I am the one-liner two-timing
bimbo-less wretch of a lady you call friend.
I am the cigarette loser who watches your dogs.
I will burn your children alive.
I am the tree-hugging
nonchalant ******** handing out flyers.
I will plant a seedling then rip it to shreds.
I will wear its bark for armor.
Your precious ******* oak
puts out cigarette butts now.
And from its death we grow cancer cells for fun.
Hell, we’re past time for past-times.
It’s all coffee and cigarettes now.
Coffee and cigarettes
and honking horns.
Coffee and cigarettes and honking horns
and shadows.
No more people.
Sep 17, 2014
Sep 17, 2014 at 6:47 PM UTC
I'm aware that our drinking might be damaging
to our livers, but
there's something amazing about seeing ourselves
without filters.
The pull you described-
I thought it was imaginary
as I'm not the best judge of my own character
and when you met me, I thought I was a ********
Sometimes, I still think I'm a ********
But you've molded me
into something far better,
a form I am proud to inhabit,
a soul I enjoy feeding
and feeling inside me.
Yes, you're an inspiration
and yes, your form and mind keep me awake
at night, imagining
possibilities-
ways to kiss you, adore you, be a better man for you -
(and yes,
I gendered myself
partially because you've made me realize
that my Self is a canon
of hope for others like me
and that I should cherish it)
There's nothing more precious to me
than waking up next to you,
feeling your eyelashes flutter
against my cheek as we rise,
procrastinating leaving our bed
because it's warm and inviting-
or feeling your breath in my ear
as you tell me your stories,
secrets
that I won't ever mention
to anyone-
You'll have everything I can give
in my emotional reserve.
You'll have my joy, pain, oblivion
and all in between.
You'll have time, love, patience, faith,
whatever you need,
my love,
ask
and it shall be granted
Apr 12, 2016
Apr 12, 2016 at 9:51 AM UTC
I just saw some dark ****
Death and destruction
Skin perforated
Bowls eviscerated
And they called it history
Some dangerously redefining ****
Soul withering starvation
Flies and maggots
Bigots burning *******
Like they used to torture blacks
Some deep and painful ****
The looks on the little faces
Blank stares
So I flip the switch
Ignore the twitch in my stomach
Ignore the ulcer forming
Find some funny **** on tv
To distract me from reality
But the humor is ****
It all feels like a big load of crap
Nasty stinking dung hill of humanity
****** **** ****
I try to turn away
And I think that makes me the biggest
******** of all
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 3:38 PM UTC
Here, re think the name that may not be spoken,
in light
of the curse brought
by knowing evil, and good, especially,
in this little light of mine, which I vowed, as a child
to not allow the accuser to quench,
AI nada gonna put it out.
My duty is to fight and **** to keep it bright.
I'll be a warrior under god.
But then the darkness of the pledge,
to the flag, {I am six-years old, ******** allegiance?} locked in,
duty bound... endure the contest, and laugh off the fear of dying.
- look out my window, watch that black lizard
- doing pushups, signaling in my peripheral vision
- listen, does it look like that lizard is showing off
- strutting its blue belly as hook-up bait?
Not t'me.
I think he's singing in lizard pitch my ears notice,
but my senses lack the filters to sing along,
lizard songs, no fear, no roadrunners or cats near,
and it is a fine day to be cold blooded,
running on the rocks,
running on the sun.
Singing lizard loud,
All that's done been done is done,
all that ain't, ain't
ain't it wonderful,
what may be?
Yep,
that is that lizard's song
as he run along, stopping every few feet to dance,
I swear, for sheer lizard level joy.
May 19, 2021
May 19, 2021 at 2:41 PM UTC
And you could have given us this and that
but you were in the throes of some spaz attack
Spiral down
your spires of blame
and you end up forgetting all the innocent
in their small existence
Influenced by their helixes
and culture, the temperature
and more than we can comprehend
Forgive yourself first and
you'll stop being such a ******** to all the rest
The malaise of the mayonnaise
Lives of all these unwitting folks
Jan 15, 2022
Jan 15, 2022 at 10:37 AM UTC
doesn't this city just make you want to break things
doesn't this city just make you ******* hate things
doesn't this city just make you want to run
want to invest
in a knife
or a gun
don't all these people just drive you insane
and don't all these people always ask your name
just to forget
in a sec-ond
why they even came
into this world,
for shame
for shame
and wasn't it just the other ******* day
that you thought to yourself
maybe I can escape
and wasn't it just
the other ******* day
you told yourself
*I can break the **** away*
but here you are in the same **** place
and here you are
losing the rodent race.
because money is tight
and morals are loose
and who gives a single ****
if their neck's in a noose
I mean, baby, or ********
all these little games,
come on baby,
my ********
we're wasting away
*bourbon,
no-
whiskey*
the devil in a drink
he pulls me straight past hades,
to deeper depths I sink
And it's the scars that you can't see
that run the ******* deepest
and who are you to say
I shouldn't ******* drink this
How dare you look at me
and say I shouldn't smoke,
I look at you-
and encourage you to choke.
Apr 26, 2014
Apr 26, 2014 at 1:40 AM UTC
::
( :::::::::: )
::
::
So sensitive !
( So very )
So very sensitive
AM I !!
•
•
Oh my boobalina !
Since you left me -- I
Have cried & I have cut myself
At least a dozen times !
CUZ I'M SO SENSITIVE !
( SO VERY ! )
SO VERY SENSITIVE
AM I !!!
•
& now I hate you !
Cuz you hurt me
Me the sensitive
Me the fragile
I curse you
To hell forever
To suffer endlessly
at the hands of sadistic demons
I will be laughing
I will be joyous
In righteous bitterness
In the beauty of pure vengeance
••
Oh how could you
Not yield to my awesomeness
My immaculate splendor
After all I gave you ?
Yes you hurt god's most precious child
Oh how could you ?
Oh why did you ?
Hurt me
THE MOST SENSITIVE SOUL ALIVE!
Ain't nobody
Never will there be
A person fragile
A person delicate
A person
AS SENSITIVE AS I !!!!
--
So **** you - ********
Go die!
Mar 26, 2014
Mar 26, 2014 at 9:20 PM UTC
THE FIRST TIME YOU KISSED ME IT FELT LIKE FEELING THE OCEAN WASH UP AGAINST YOUR FEET AND IT FELT LIKE LISTENING TO YOUR FAVORITE SONG FOR THE FIRST TIME AND IT FELT LIKE WATER TASTES; REFRESHING AND LIFE SUSTAINING BUT I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO SUSTAIN MY LIFE IN THE SAME WAY ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU'RE GONE **** YOU YOU ******* ********
Jul 1, 2014
Jul 1, 2014 at 10:03 PM UTC
Ex-Girlfriend calls me up on a friends phone,
says to meet her at quicken loans.
I get there and she tells me her and her friends
are "getting food", except they're not.
******* Caucasian zombies rotting away in
get rich doing nothing schemes,
"Peel and orange, beat a coconut"
tell me what class of poor sap you're trying
to pry from a months rent in the name of an
"investment".
I thought I would at least have a conversation
with an old friend, but instead I got forty minutes
of some ******** belly-aching
about being a teenage dirt-dad to
try and get me into "the Elite".
It was a waste of a ******* night.
Took the train home with some loud ******* white people,
and got lost in my own reflection.
The look, that look,
like an animal getting beat by it's owner,
the pain and confusion,
love and betrayal.
I don't want your money, or they're money,
or Donald Trumps money, or easy money.
God, I want to ******* die on a bus
reeking of **** and penniless.
What a ******* waste.
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 10:11 PM UTC
You're so broken,
Give it time and even I wont love you.
I'll learn to resent you.
For the way you need me, the way you use me.
I'm not a cure; I'm not even a treatment.
I'm just a crutch.
I'm what somehow justifies your pathetic existence.
And I hate you for it.
For making it seem like I said it was okay.
Because I understood.
Understanding isn't an excuse
To keep living like you have nothing to live for.
I know how it feels to be empty,
To be lost,
To be lonely,
To be broken.
But I never gave up thinking someone would care.
Someone does care.
I care.
And you know it.
It makes me sick how you ignore that.
And I can't stand to hear about how lonely you are,
When that was your choice.
Or how lost you are,
When I could give you meaning.
Don't complain to me, stupid boy,
Your whimpering will fall on deaf ears.
You begged me not to hate you.
You begged me.
I thought it was silly.
I would always love you.
Now I understand.
You have so much potential.
You are so much better than the person you portray.
And you could be happy.
But instead you lock that person away,
Because it's easier to be a coward.
You hide behind a ******** who's just looking to get laid.
Another day is just another drink.
I hope you drown in one of those bottles,
And go to bed alone.
Jan 8, 2011
Jan 8, 2011 at 9:03 PM UTC
^+^
<+!+>
~•~
\ /
Two a my very best friends just got married !!
MR MANURE ! ....... He married his long time
girl friend --- ******** CHARLEY
(yep --- that is her name !)
It was a grand wedding I gotta say
BUT
More importantly
Ain't nobody knows them don't think a them as special
As MAGIC !
What their love is their lives shall be !
It is so great to known them and to to be part of
what they shall create !
Hail to thee -- MR MANURE !!
&
I'll love you forever --- ******** CHARLEY !
Mar 31, 2014
Mar 31, 2014 at 12:15 AM UTC
Tonight's bourbon just fuels the anger
and you're all ******** *************
squatting in dilapidated houses
looking for your next score of *****
drugs, ****** and freedom.
I support bluegrass music
Slit your wrist with a banjo string
Play me that beautiful country twang
Oct 22, 2015
Oct 22, 2015 at 8:33 PM UTC
Part of me lives inside her,
Like a parasite of romance and memory;
The part that raises half her mouth when the joke's a specific type of funny,
The part that keeps her eyes locked on an empty inbox,
And the part that gives her boyfriend such a diarrheal aftertaste.
It's a tapeworm of longing and contempt that she's **** good at ignoring, because she turned an empty stomach into business as usual.
But she keeps it anyway, because something about it seems so genuinely human when nothing else can match the feeling.
Because when the jokes, messages, and boyfriends are all gone this little white ******** will still need something from her. It won't go anywhere.
The glamorously empty life of a parasite at the beck and call of something just as beautifully flawed.
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 3:54 PM UTC