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"mhm" poems
"i'm watching you, stupid ***** Madison pointed at pyper as the girls made there way out of the dining room. "thats enough madison." Cordelia scolded. Nan followed pyper up the stairs into her bedroom. "why are you following me?" pyper asked, looking at nan in disgust. rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "you have madisons money." nan crossed her arms and smiled. "excuse me??" pyper replied as if she were offended by Nans accusation. "mhm, and you have zoeys sunglasses.., cassies ipod, and 25 dollars you stole from emilys purse. along with her art pencils." nan replied. "wow, you're A cleptomaniac." Nan laughed. "okay, how do you know all of this???" Pyper asked, her cheeks red from embarissment, and her head lowered in shame. "i'm psychic. i can read minds." nan explained. suddenly cassie walked past pypers room in search of her stolen ipod. "has anyone seen my pink ipod???" Cassie questioned, it was sitting on my bed, and now i can't find it anywhere. " she looked around hopelessly. "well then look in your room cassie. give me 5 minutes and i'll help you look." pyper shouted. "wow, you're a real piece of work arent you?" nan rolled her eyes and chuckled. "what is your angle, nan?" Pyper questioned, rolling her eyes aswell. saying names name as if she were mocking the whole idea of her. "my angle, PYPER. is this, you give everyone there **** back or i'm telling cordelia and you're out of here." Nan smerked. "you're not going to tell on me anyway?" pyper asked sadly. "no, not onless you do it again." nan sighed, "we stick together here, we're a family, we don't steele eachother down thats not what we're about." nan explained sympatheticly. "wow, thats funny because that's all my real family ever did." pyper replied with big sad puppy dog eyes. nan nodded, "i'm not here to listen to your ******** excuses or your sob stories. if saying that you've had a hard life, and never had anything given to you. and the world owes you. helps you get to sleep at night then fine, cool beans. but i'm not buying that shit. and these girls don't owe you anything. now, i expect everyone to have there **** back by the morning, or i will tell cordelia." nan sighed and rolled her eyes. "okay." pyper nodded with a wounded look upon her face. Cassie stood outside of the door, still listening. her eyebrows raised in anger. and then made her way up the stairs and into madisons room. "what are you doing here pipsquick. im NOT in the mood." Madison sobbed. "oh i think you're in the mood for this, i know who took your money." Cassie smiled.
0
Jan 29, 2015
Jan 29, 2015 at 3:40 PM UTC
america horror story:coven fan fic part 5
"i'm watching you, stupid ***** Madison pointed at pyper as the girls made there way out of the dining room. "thats enough madison." Cordelia scolded. Nan followed pyper up the stairs into her bedroom. "why are you following me?" pyper asked, looking at nan in disgust. rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "you have madisons money." nan crossed her arms and smiled. "excuse me??" pyper replied as if she were offended by Nans accusation. "mhm, and you have zoeys sunglasses.., cassies ipod, and 25 dollars you stole from emilys purse. along with her art pencils." nan replied. "wow, you're A cleptomaniac." Nan laughed. "okay, how do you know all of this???" Pyper asked, her cheeks red from embarissment, and her head lowered in shame. "i'm psychic. i can read minds." nan explained. suddenly cassie walked past pypers room in search of her stolen ipod. "has anyone seen my pink ipod???" Cassie questioned, it was sitting on my bed, and now i can't find it anywhere. " she looked around hopelessly. "well then look in your room cassie. give me 5 minutes and i'll help you look." pyper shouted. "wow, you're a real piece of work arent you?" nan rolled her eyes and chuckled. "what is your angle, nan?" Pyper questioned, rolling her eyes aswell. saying names name as if she were mocking the whole idea of her. "my angle, PYPER. is this, you give everyone there **** back or i'm telling cordelia and you're out of here." Nan smerked. "you're not going to tell on me anyway?" pyper asked sadly. "no, not onless you do it again." nan sighed, "we stick together here, we're a family, we don't steele eachother down thats not what we're about." nan explained sympatheticly. "wow, thats funny because that's all my real family ever did." pyper replied with big sad puppy dog eyes. nan nodded, "i'm not here to listen to your ******** excuses or your sob stories. if saying that you've had a hard life, and never had anything given to you. and the world owes you. helps you get to sleep at night then fine, cool beans. but i'm not buying that shit. and these girls don't owe you anything. now, i expect everyone to have there **** back by the morning, or i will tell cordelia." nan sighed and rolled her eyes. "okay." pyper nodded with a wounded look upon her face. Cassie stood outside of the door, still listening. her eyebrows raised in anger. and then made her way up the stairs and into madisons room. "what are you doing here pipsquick. im NOT in the mood." Madison sobbed. "oh i think you're in the mood for this, i know who took your money." Cassie smiled.
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1
A: Don't you find it irritating? Z: Hm? A: Don't you find irritating the human need to feel happiness? Z: Isn't that only natural? When you are happy you feel good. So you will want to feel good when you aren't happy right? A: But that's not natural. Being happy is just a state you can be at. It's not the state you were at before or after. Being neutral is a state you came from and will go to. Z: So should I feel the need to be sad when I'm happy just as I have the need to fell happy when I'm sad? A: No, that does nothing. You shouldn't feel anything at all. Or have a need to in the first place. Z: That makes no sense. Life is what the living does. You can't live without a need to feel can you? A: Well maybe being alive is not a natural state to be at as well! If it was you wouldn't die or be born. Z: What do you mean? A: Well maybe life and death are also just a state you can be at, but neither are the natural states... Z: Ugh... Third state beside Life and Death? A: Yeah! Z: What would that be? A: Well for that to work I guess there would have to be a third party involved, like a soul or something, then we could say that it's only your body that is alive or dead. Your soul is then just a presence that trough a medium called body is collecting experience. Z: What about emotions? A: Let's add another body in the picture! Call it „emotional body“. Emotional body is using a physical body as a medium to get experience from the world and then there is a soul that is using the emotional body as a medium so we get a perfect being! Z: Isn't that a bit of a stretch? A: Who knows.... But then we could say that there is finally a natural state to be at. It is called „Soul state“. In this state you resonate your three bodies (the physical, emotional and soul bodies). In this state you are not „Alive“ or „Dead“, you are not „Happy“ or „Sad“, you are just a presence. Z: And how would you get to this state called „Soul state“?? A: Well you should ask yourself why do the other two bodies exist in the first place? Z: Hm.. Well to experience things right? A: Yeah.. Z: Ohhh! So the soul is a presence that trough the two bodies experiences things! So once it has experienced all there is to see and feel. It will finally enter the „Soul state“!! A: exactly! Z: But isn't there just soo much? We don't really have enough time to experience all there is... A: well who said you live only once.. Z: Reincarnations? A: Mhm. Z: But why don't we remember things from our past lives? A: Well it would be rather easier to experience everything if you think you have only so much time. That way you will use all of the time given to you to live at your fullest!
0
May 6, 2018
May 6, 2018 at 2:33 PM UTC
hu,man
A: Don't you find it irritating? Z: Hm? A: Don't you find irritating the human need to feel happiness? Z: Isn't that only natural? When you are happy you feel good. So you will want to feel good when you aren't happy right? A: But that's not natural. Being happy is just a state you can be at. It's not the state you were at before or after. Being neutral is a state you came from and will go to. Z: So should I feel the need to be sad when I'm happy just as I have the need to fell happy when I'm sad? A: No, that does nothing. You shouldn't feel anything at all. Or have a need to in the first place. Z: That makes no sense. Life is what the living does. You can't live without a need to feel can you? A: Well maybe being alive is not a natural state to be at as well! If it was you wouldn't die or be born. Z: What do you mean? A: Well maybe life and death are also just a state you can be at, but neither are the natural states... Z: Ugh... Third state beside Life and Death? A: Yeah! Z: What would that be? A: Well for that to work I guess there would have to be a third party involved, like a soul or something, then we could say that it's only your body that is alive or dead. Your soul is then just a presence that trough a medium called body is collecting experience. Z: What about emotions? A: Let's add another body in the picture! Call it „emotional body“. Emotional body is using a physical body as a medium to get experience from the world and then there is a soul that is using the emotional body as a medium so we get a perfect being! Z: Isn't that a bit of a stretch? A: Who knows.... But then we could say that there is finally a natural state to be at. It is called „Soul state“. In this state you resonate your three bodies (the physical, emotional and soul bodies). In this state you are not „Alive“ or „Dead“, you are not „Happy“ or „Sad“, you are just a presence. Z: And how would you get to this state called „Soul state“?? A: Well you should ask yourself why do the other two bodies exist in the first place? Z: Hm.. Well to experience things right? A: Yeah.. Z: Ohhh! So the soul is a presence that trough the two bodies experiences things! So once it has experienced all there is to see and feel. It will finally enter the „Soul state“!! A: exactly! Z: But isn't there just soo much? We don't really have enough time to experience all there is... A: well who said you live only once.. Z: Reincarnations? A: Mhm. Z: But why don't we remember things from our past lives? A: Well it would be rather easier to experience everything if you think you have only so much time. That way you will use all of the time given to you to live at your fullest!
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32
me and i and nobody nobody and me and i me? who? "who, him? nobody" her. her... somebody. (anybody!) her...... .... she--! her: "you." me: "...me?" her: "you and me." ... me: "you and i." her and i, me and her, her and i, me and she us.... us! it! (mhm, that.) us, and that. us! us, us, we, us, we, we, us us and them, us and those, us and some them and me?... ... us. us and them. me, and her and them. me and her...and them. and him. him... him? me and him...me...and you. ... ... ... "her and him..." him? him!? HER AND HIM!? ME!!!! me: her and him her and him her and him her and him her and him me: "you and him?" her: "me and you!" me: "you and him!" her: "you..." me: "YOU AND HIM!" her: me: "me or him." her: me: "you and him." ... us...me and her... ... her. and him. it. (that.) (that!? her and him!?) me and i and nobody nobody and me and i me? who? (her...) "who, me? nobody."
0
Apr 1, 2014
Apr 1, 2014 at 6:24 PM UTC
a love story as told by pronouns & conjunctions
I'm ridin' down in my old school Chevy (yeah) Owh, she can get it.. (Mhm) Bad little shawty, So thick and pretty, Girl come sit with me, Ride out and see the city, Let the lights hypnotize ya It ain't no biggie, (word) I'm young man searching, Looking for a queen A woman who takes full control Both in and out the sheets **Now babe let's ride till they dim the city lights, I'm not lookin for a right now, I'm lookin for a wife The kind that holds me down And picks it up slow So if you down, come around Baby girl let me knowwww** *Queen of hearts, Queen of hearts Tryna play my cards right Queen of hearts, Queen of hearts Can I hold you down tonight? Queen of hearts, Queen of hearts A one of a kind in this deck My Queen of hearts, yes Can you put my heart in check?* Now I'm sweatin and shakin Tryna see if she's bluffing, Am I just another dealer? Just another man cuffin? Does this card mean nothing? So why do I play it so close to my heart? Is this the moment that I reshuffle? Redo the deck and restart? Man this the hardest part, Imma take my odds Gamble on her smile, Bid on this work of art, Cause love is a game, You only win if you play So I ask this Queen of hearts "Baby is this my lucky day?" **Now babe let's ride till they dim the city lights, I'm not lookin for a right now, I'm lookin for a wife The kind that holds me down And picks it up slow So if you down, come around Baby girl let me knowwww** *Queen of hearts, Queen of hearts Tryna play my cards right Queen of hearts, Queen of hearts Can I hold you down tonight? Queen of hearts, Queen of hearts A one of a kind in this deck My Queen of hearts, yes Can you put my heart in check?* Layin on the beach, It's me and my Queen Whispering sweet nothings in her ear And she gently kisses my cheek, Then she climbs on top of me As we watched the sunset This was more than two loves This was more than just *** It was passion from the ocean And the heat from the sun It was crazy, stupid, love It was a blessing up above It's feet deep in the sand Till we both walked hand in hand She was my only Queen of hearts And I was her loyal kingsman. *My Queen of hearts, yeah... Oh, oh. Oh yeah My Queen of hearts yeah... Oh, oh, ohh She's simply one of a kind My Queen of hearts.... Oh, tell me will you be mine?* (Singing fades out)
0
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015 at 1:08 AM UTC
"Queen of Hearts"
I'm ridin' down in my old school Chevy (yeah) Owh, she can get it.. (Mhm) Bad little shawty, So thick and pretty, Girl come sit with me, Ride out and see the city, Let the lights hypnotize ya It ain't no biggie, (word) I'm young man searching, Looking for a queen A woman who takes full control Both in and out the sheets **Now babe let's ride till they dim the city lights, I'm not lookin for a right now, I'm lookin for a wife The kind that holds me down And picks it up slow So if you down, come around Baby girl let me knowwww** *Queen of hearts, Queen of hearts Tryna play my cards right Queen of hearts, Queen of hearts Can I hold you down tonight? Queen of hearts, Queen of hearts A one of a kind in this deck My Queen of hearts, yes Can you put my heart in check?* Now I'm sweatin and shakin Tryna see if she's bluffing, Am I just another dealer? Just another man cuffin? Does this card mean nothing? So why do I play it so close to my heart? Is this the moment that I reshuffle? Redo the deck and restart? Man this the hardest part, Imma take my odds Gamble on her smile, Bid on this work of art, Cause love is a game, You only win if you play So I ask this Queen of hearts "Baby is this my lucky day?" **Now babe let's ride till they dim the city lights, I'm not lookin for a right now, I'm lookin for a wife The kind that holds me down And picks it up slow So if you down, come around Baby girl let me knowwww** *Queen of hearts, Queen of hearts Tryna play my cards right Queen of hearts, Queen of hearts Can I hold you down tonight? Queen of hearts, Queen of hearts A one of a kind in this deck My Queen of hearts, yes Can you put my heart in check?* Layin on the beach, It's me and my Queen Whispering sweet nothings in her ear And she gently kisses my cheek, Then she climbs on top of me As we watched the sunset This was more than two loves This was more than just *** It was passion from the ocean And the heat from the sun It was crazy, stupid, love It was a blessing up above It's feet deep in the sand Till we both walked hand in hand She was my only Queen of hearts And I was her loyal kingsman. *My Queen of hearts, yeah... Oh, oh. Oh yeah My Queen of hearts yeah... Oh, oh, ohh She's simply one of a kind My Queen of hearts.... Oh, tell me will you be mine?* (Singing fades out)
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81
my psychiatrist tells me i have holes in me. she says it as though it is something i should already know. and when she says it, the shift inside me is something i wish i could compare to the grinding of tectonic plates, if only i were strong enough to bring about an earthquake. but since i am a stranger even to aftershocks, i keep quiet. my earthquake is stillborn, expressed instead as a nod, as a chewing of the lip, as a silent, compliant “mhm.” and the urge that nestles itself at the pit of my stomach is not an urge to disagree; it is an urge to forget. because my psychiatrist tells me i have holes in me. she says it as though it is something i should already know, and she says it in a way that is not meant to make me feel incomplete, but it is a way that still does, and if i can forget this, even for a moment, i can forget that i am not okay. i do not like not being okay; i do not like having problems, and my psychiatrist, she tells me i have holes in me and she says it as though it is a problem. and so begins a slow disintegration: i become but a bearer of problems, a garden growing only weeds — something in need of fixing. i see myself a war-torn landscape, dry and cracked and lacking life. i see myself the kind of ground you step on and say, “remember when things used to grow here? remember when it used to be green?” i am still trying to be green, always trying to be green, but my psychiatrist tells me i have holes in me, and suddenly green becomes a color i will never know how to paint. outside my psychiatrist’s office, on the wall of the waiting room, there is a painting of flowers — irises and a geranium — and the leaves, i know, are supposed to be green, but the paint is old and faded and they don’t look it. and for a moment, i think that maybe, whether iris or geranium or boy riddled with holes, maybe it is possible to bloom even if you are not green. (a.m.)
0
Sep 8, 2016
Sep 8, 2016 at 10:50 AM UTC
irises and geranium
my psychiatrist tells me i have holes in me. she says it as though it is something i should already know. and when she says it, the shift inside me is something i wish i could compare to the grinding of tectonic plates, if only i were strong enough to bring about an earthquake. but since i am a stranger even to aftershocks, i keep quiet. my earthquake is stillborn, expressed instead as a nod, as a chewing of the lip, as a silent, compliant “mhm.” and the urge that nestles itself at the pit of my stomach is not an urge to disagree; it is an urge to forget. because my psychiatrist tells me i have holes in me. she says it as though it is something i should already know, and she says it in a way that is not meant to make me feel incomplete, but it is a way that still does, and if i can forget this, even for a moment, i can forget that i am not okay. i do not like not being okay; i do not like having problems, and my psychiatrist, she tells me i have holes in me and she says it as though it is a problem. and so begins a slow disintegration: i become but a bearer of problems, a garden growing only weeds — something in need of fixing. i see myself a war-torn landscape, dry and cracked and lacking life. i see myself the kind of ground you step on and say, “remember when things used to grow here? remember when it used to be green?” i am still trying to be green, always trying to be green, but my psychiatrist tells me i have holes in me, and suddenly green becomes a color i will never know how to paint. outside my psychiatrist’s office, on the wall of the waiting room, there is a painting of flowers — irises and a geranium — and the leaves, i know, are supposed to be green, but the paint is old and faded and they don’t look it. and for a moment, i think that maybe, whether iris or geranium or boy riddled with holes, maybe it is possible to bloom even if you are not green. (a.m.)
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58
Her fingers were covered in corn. the corn after chewing, broken pierced, churned- it could spread as butter thick on stale toast, if needed "it's fine, don't you worry, we'll get you all cleaned up" she stared indifferently Strings dangled from her mouth, unswept full of necessary greens ---"mhm there there, this will give you so much energy" --- drags of breath, half inhale half choke. nothing to look forward to, not the next soaking glob, not the cursing woman in the bathroom, not the spill of light to her eyes Where are the ladles, Did you check on it? The key? Just moved, most the suitcases aren't there yet. Remember to bring the Did you check on it? pay attention. Have you seen my grand kids? who are you? Sunday's are for the active ones The games down the hall are too far. Why worry with legs, if she could just adjust to the left the world could sag into an ongoing dream- No demands, no games, no movement. The nurses hair net had more presence than the splotch of gray against her peeling itchy scalp. Drool leaked from leather lips, dampening the collar of her two month sticky blouse. Arms curled and locked,displaying under the wax skin cranberry patches- she never wiped them off. Always the soft murmer of a snore, always the smell of unbrushed teeth and hampers. "Did you touch those where don't touch me scott scott scott leave my things alone thevenin I need a stop lying I want to go scott, scott? scott. I can't remember any" I said my name four times before she heard me, knew me I fixed her pillow and my sister marked off the day on the calendar. We told her about school, the marching band, each word filled with forced enthusiasm. She bobbed her head in circles, lazily rolling her eyes, the curtain shading the empty space. We spent 30 minutes precisely. She was more than I realized. I never knew she had horseback riding, violin playing days. She traveled and hiked. We could have been close. Unraveling with the mystery, I felt the lateness of my curiosity. It was 30 minutes precisely, always. We acted as strangers, reciting routine and wishing each other a happy day and a quiet love you
0
Sep 9, 2012
Sep 9, 2012 at 5:21 PM UTC
Lunch Time at Daycare
Her fingers were covered in corn. the corn after chewing, broken pierced, churned- it could spread as butter thick on stale toast, if needed "it's fine, don't you worry, we'll get you all cleaned up" she stared indifferently Strings dangled from her mouth, unswept full of necessary greens ---"mhm there there, this will give you so much energy" --- drags of breath, half inhale half choke. nothing to look forward to, not the next soaking glob, not the cursing woman in the bathroom, not the spill of light to her eyes Where are the ladles, Did you check on it? The key? Just moved, most the suitcases aren't there yet. Remember to bring the Did you check on it? pay attention. Have you seen my grand kids? who are you? Sunday's are for the active ones The games down the hall are too far. Why worry with legs, if she could just adjust to the left the world could sag into an ongoing dream- No demands, no games, no movement. The nurses hair net had more presence than the splotch of gray against her peeling itchy scalp. Drool leaked from leather lips, dampening the collar of her two month sticky blouse. Arms curled and locked,displaying under the wax skin cranberry patches- she never wiped them off. Always the soft murmer of a snore, always the smell of unbrushed teeth and hampers. "Did you touch those where don't touch me scott scott scott leave my things alone thevenin I need a stop lying I want to go scott, scott? scott. I can't remember any" I said my name four times before she heard me, knew me I fixed her pillow and my sister marked off the day on the calendar. We told her about school, the marching band, each word filled with forced enthusiasm. She bobbed her head in circles, lazily rolling her eyes, the curtain shading the empty space. We spent 30 minutes precisely. She was more than I realized. I never knew she had horseback riding, violin playing days. She traveled and hiked. We could have been close. Unraveling with the mystery, I felt the lateness of my curiosity. It was 30 minutes precisely, always. We acted as strangers, reciting routine and wishing each other a happy day and a quiet love you
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30
Hi Dad,do you love me? Why of course i do sweetheart, you're my daughter after all. Now shhh quit talking, I'm on a conference call. Hi Dad, do you love me? Yes yes, of course. But forget your mom, we're getting a divorce. Hi Dad, do you love me? Mhm, sure do! but keep on working, you've got studies to tend to. Hi Dad do you love me? Yes, you're the bomb! Now look the other way, while I'm hitting your mom. Hi Dad, do you love me? How could i not? but if you get an A, I'll really love you a lot. Hi Dad, do you love me? Yes, you're beautiful, you're smart Hope you don't mind me breaking your heart! Hi Dad do you love me? I do today. careful though, i probably won't stay. Hi Dad do you love me? i guess you're okay Now say goodbye as i move far far away. Hi Dad do you love me? Well i guess i have to but check out my new family, way better than you. **Dad please, do you love me?** Why I'm afraid not to be honest sweetie, you never had a shot But why don't you love me, am i not good enough? Never were honey. But quit crying, be tough.
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Jan 7, 2014
Jan 7, 2014 at 11:22 PM UTC
Dad do you love me?
hmmm hm hmmm you've left again, and truth be told it's best so don't tell me that you love me still that you just need to get some things in your head straight hmm hm hmm because you had your head on the entire time you just wanted to rest it for a while and I was your soft pillow a punching bag if you must you flipped me around when I was too hot you seem to always like me better when I'm cool my silence will always be reassuring the heat will make you nervous. hmm hm hmm I cope by talking so let me talk to people that are like you my ex exes. girls that have wanted me from the beginning, am I really that charming? I have three, four if you're counting the girl i sent nudes to last night i'm disgusting I should have kissed her in that bathroom, you know. i should have took advantage of the situation I don't like that you're the last person my lips tasted hmm hm hmmm running my fingers across the keyboard they dance in a rhythm only I can figure out I've got plans, a future, and a pack of cigarettes waiting for me at home I should have listened when people said to stay away from you I'm mad because you let me believe you when you said i love you because i always meant it i love you more, most, forever and always, that was the promise, the deal. I was supposed to be loved by you and you alone. and you for me. maybe you left hmm hm hmmm hm because you have other people that you want. but you'll never in your life find someone like me but maybe that's good because hell I know that i'm actually very toxic. manipulative. dramatic. draining i've heard it all before i'm too sensitive. these are truths i'll fix it. i'll get better. and you will too hmm hm hmmm i shouldn't still be writing about you. i've been broken for a while but it feels easier now. i can just pretend that you don't exist, that's easier for me that is how i have to cope now. after Justin, i thought i wouldn't love i should have focused on getting hurt again. i know that it's possible now. well sorta. after him, i went numb. hell. what am i ever talking about i guess what i'm meaning to say is we'll be a lot happier without each other at least we were long distance. you don't have to see me or hear me everyday. I have you blocked on social media for that reason. but i can't block your number i like knowing that you'll come back eventually. and if not knowing, then hoping when you find out what you've ****** up don't be textin' my phone i like you better when you leave me alone. hmm mhm hm
0
Feb 1, 2021
Feb 1, 2021 at 4:02 PM UTC
Humming the Melody of a Tuba Quartet
hmmm hm hmmm you've left again, and truth be told it's best so don't tell me that you love me still that you just need to get some things in your head straight hmm hm hmm because you had your head on the entire time you just wanted to rest it for a while and I was your soft pillow a punching bag if you must you flipped me around when I was too hot you seem to always like me better when I'm cool my silence will always be reassuring the heat will make you nervous. hmm hm hmm I cope by talking so let me talk to people that are like you my ex exes. girls that have wanted me from the beginning, am I really that charming? I have three, four if you're counting the girl i sent nudes to last night i'm disgusting I should have kissed her in that bathroom, you know. i should have took advantage of the situation I don't like that you're the last person my lips tasted hmm hm hmmm running my fingers across the keyboard they dance in a rhythm only I can figure out I've got plans, a future, and a pack of cigarettes waiting for me at home I should have listened when people said to stay away from you I'm mad because you let me believe you when you said i love you because i always meant it i love you more, most, forever and always, that was the promise, the deal. I was supposed to be loved by you and you alone. and you for me. maybe you left hmm hm hmmm hm because you have other people that you want. but you'll never in your life find someone like me but maybe that's good because hell I know that i'm actually very toxic. manipulative. dramatic. draining i've heard it all before i'm too sensitive. these are truths i'll fix it. i'll get better. and you will too hmm hm hmmm i shouldn't still be writing about you. i've been broken for a while but it feels easier now. i can just pretend that you don't exist, that's easier for me that is how i have to cope now. after Justin, i thought i wouldn't love i should have focused on getting hurt again. i know that it's possible now. well sorta. after him, i went numb. hell. what am i ever talking about i guess what i'm meaning to say is we'll be a lot happier without each other at least we were long distance. you don't have to see me or hear me everyday. I have you blocked on social media for that reason. but i can't block your number i like knowing that you'll come back eventually. and if not knowing, then hoping when you find out what you've ****** up don't be textin' my phone i like you better when you leave me alone. hmm mhm hm
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74
Today I put on that perfume And it hit me With a memory forgotten; Sunken at the bottom of the almost empty bottle. “Mhm, wow you smell so good. What perfume is that?” You had asked. I’d been over the moon waxing outside. You had tickled my insides. So when I’d spritzed that on my neck and inhaled that scent and that memory… I was glad. Glad that the bottle was finished. Glad that there was nothing left to remind me of that moment, Glad that as I tossed the bottle into the trash, I had, in turn, trashed the memory. The memory sunken at the bottom of that perfume bottle.
0
Jun 23, 2019
Jun 23, 2019 at 6:09 PM UTC
That Perfume.
Encroaching satellites High voltage saturation and shade And an obtuse synopsis of cognitive psychology Condensing your threshold Searching for hand outs Ripping the railings out of the walls In the stairwells in the doctor's office on the way to your colonoscopy   Laying on the futon with and your therapist writing down everything you say "Go on" "Mhm" "I see" "How does that make you feel?" Skid-marked underwear Delving, dumpster diving for food In the lonesome twilight In the rippling rainstorm People shelling out gripes Squinting, doing a double take at you Followed by a wavering tumult They're gonna have you capped That is, unless you purchase this love seat -Tommy Johnson
0
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 11:04 PM UTC
Psychoanalytic Mumbo Jumbo
I broke up with her for good reason but now all I can really do is remember how good we were. I try so hard to remember her flaws and faults: how selfish and narcissistic she could be. how her loyalties were elsewhere. how I was never enough. but they don't compare when I remember: how she kissed me around strangers, and ran after my train every single time, just to be a goofball and show the world that I was hers. how she could make me feel better by just being there. I try my best to ignore her but even if I don’t see or talk to her for weeks she’s still in my mind, always, because I can find her in everything. I find her when I smell her perfume or see something from Nevada, when I eat Twix and ignore the word mhm and the colors blue and green. When I make mac n cheese and eat all of it. when I go to school and when I come home. and whenever I see a rose, especially if it's red. I don’t know how people can give someone so much of themselves and then have their heart broken. I gave her pieces of me that I can never get back and I don’t know how to continue being Sammy without those pieces.
0
Sep 9, 2018
Sep 9, 2018 at 6:02 PM UTC
the problem with loving
This body is to narrow to start the concrete picturesque poetry As a marvelous bright sparkling spring into the pitch black marvel stone My poems are shallow water running out of time climbing backwards Shanti dances, Shakti watches, I ride the glossy magenta mountain byke Elementally through the potentially ***** city, gulping two little               flying                            spoons                      wwhhpp          mhm                                       of Brilliant        IO Ag                    Helth guarantieed on the nulth spelling positive not Obtrusive politely declined           skipped          suggestive Visually objective little pencil box down bellow                                              friend    _ this is blank ! Absolutely! Absoulutely! A ****** stream of no perservatives no *** Objecting flowery flunder opiates                           Words grow from Barriers between insufficient gestures                  from human Jazzy left ear leaving laments of sounds incapability to stay Endlessly entwined and glued together as your soul loves Tender tactile cats touch on your desperate desert sju++                   Ave Gratias Plena Ava Gardner Avon Avion   My throat is not of a managment made suits suiting suitcases I'm Tired Of Fraternities Or True Females  Always  Ends  Well
0
Dec 10, 2015
Dec 10, 2015 at 3:37 PM UTC
Magic You And The One World
This body is to narrow to start the concrete picturesque poetry As a marvelous bright sparkling spring into the pitch black marvel stone My poems are shallow water running out of time climbing backwards Shanti dances, Shakti watches, I ride the glossy magenta mountain byke Elementally through the potentially ***** city, gulping two little               flying                            spoons                      wwhhpp          mhm                                       of Brilliant        IO Ag                    Helth guarantieed on the nulth spelling positive not Obtrusive politely declined           skipped          suggestive Visually objective little pencil box down bellow                                              friend    _ this is blank ! Absolutely! Absoulutely! A ****** stream of no perservatives no *** Objecting flowery flunder opiates                           Words grow from Barriers between insufficient gestures                  from human Jazzy left ear leaving laments of sounds incapability to stay Endlessly entwined and glued together as your soul loves Tender tactile cats touch on your desperate desert sju++                   Ave Gratias Plena Ava Gardner Avon Avion   My throat is not of a managment made suits suiting suitcases I'm Tired Of Fraternities Or True Females  Always  Ends  Well
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20
Mhmm... Mhmm... yea! Mhmm... ey-yeah-ey yeah yeah yeah mm... mhmm Mhmm... mhmm... Mhmm... yea! yeah Mhmm... ey-yeah-ey yeah yeah mm mm, mhm Hey, yea-yea, yeah-eh-yeah-eh, yeah-eh-yeah-eh Hey hey-yea-eh yeah, mhmm Professional or beginner doesnt matter Every sinner is a prisoner in a body that is subject to time Now my entwined mind tries to form a straight line not like twised scoliosis of the spinal chord Construct Cross eyed carpenters are cuttin' crooked lines Can't construct man-made shrines when the winds and the water move sands of time Many minds on a deadline, yet live life like a live wire I'm not tired! Of blood and fire Spirit's moving higher than the green grass ever lifted me Spirit's moving higher... Than anything else ever lifted you Mm, see We got spirituality It's living in us like one in three Injustice is concerning me in the non-linear eternity I'm speaking paradoxically but you can nod your head now when you understand me-e-e-ee... This is for my free men whose backs wont bend in the lions den now with their eyes on the ending This is for my free women! They fight with their love The bearers of our children Free men whose backs wont bend in the lions den now with their eyes on the ending This is for my free women They fight with their love The bearers of our children We shine like lights exposing what lies underneath decomposing Unearth those chains that are rusted my sweet Lord, is that what i trusted in? That sin? That tomfoolery? Ugh! What it is is mental jewelery that I adorned myself with The enemy's gifts, the man-made myths, the ignorant bliss of marijuana spliffs and alchoholic fifths I got so sick and tired of it Delivered and redeemed by christ i mean It's time to start livin' and get a reason for the rhyme I dont wanna be dead-wrong on the deadline Standing on the dark side and all out of time... Like a blind pantomime's fantasize climb up his own ladder to the sunshine Nothin's mine that hasn't been given No one's alive here that hasn't been risen For 19 years i was trapped in a prison Feeding my escape by means of derision but every man-made attempt just failed when trapped in a jail of my own guilt, shame, and iniquity I was looking for freedom How'd I find freedom? Oh! Oh, freedom... from all of this He said believe He said believe Who are you telling me to belei-e-eve... yea 'Said I'm the Christ Oh! ...he said I'm the Christ So I believed. Freedom! Mhmm... yea Mhmm... ey! Mhmm... ey-yeah-ey yeah yeah yeah eh, mhmm Mhmm... Hey! No, no no Mhmm... yea! Mhmm... Yea ey-yeah-ey yeah yeah mhm, Nah na-na-nah
0
Oct 7, 2014
Oct 7, 2014 at 3:56 PM UTC
FREEDOM ~BY: JOSH GARRELS
Mhmm... Mhmm... yea! Mhmm... ey-yeah-ey yeah yeah yeah mm... mhmm Mhmm... mhmm... Mhmm... yea! yeah Mhmm... ey-yeah-ey yeah yeah mm mm, mhm Hey, yea-yea, yeah-eh-yeah-eh, yeah-eh-yeah-eh Hey hey-yea-eh yeah, mhmm Professional or beginner doesnt matter Every sinner is a prisoner in a body that is subject to time Now my entwined mind tries to form a straight line not like twised scoliosis of the spinal chord Construct Cross eyed carpenters are cuttin' crooked lines Can't construct man-made shrines when the winds and the water move sands of time Many minds on a deadline, yet live life like a live wire I'm not tired! Of blood and fire Spirit's moving higher than the green grass ever lifted me Spirit's moving higher... Than anything else ever lifted you Mm, see We got spirituality It's living in us like one in three Injustice is concerning me in the non-linear eternity I'm speaking paradoxically but you can nod your head now when you understand me-e-e-ee... This is for my free men whose backs wont bend in the lions den now with their eyes on the ending This is for my free women! They fight with their love The bearers of our children Free men whose backs wont bend in the lions den now with their eyes on the ending This is for my free women They fight with their love The bearers of our children We shine like lights exposing what lies underneath decomposing Unearth those chains that are rusted my sweet Lord, is that what i trusted in? That sin? That tomfoolery? Ugh! What it is is mental jewelery that I adorned myself with The enemy's gifts, the man-made myths, the ignorant bliss of marijuana spliffs and alchoholic fifths I got so sick and tired of it Delivered and redeemed by christ i mean It's time to start livin' and get a reason for the rhyme I dont wanna be dead-wrong on the deadline Standing on the dark side and all out of time... Like a blind pantomime's fantasize climb up his own ladder to the sunshine Nothin's mine that hasn't been given No one's alive here that hasn't been risen For 19 years i was trapped in a prison Feeding my escape by means of derision but every man-made attempt just failed when trapped in a jail of my own guilt, shame, and iniquity I was looking for freedom How'd I find freedom? Oh! Oh, freedom... from all of this He said believe He said believe Who are you telling me to belei-e-eve... yea 'Said I'm the Christ Oh! ...he said I'm the Christ So I believed. Freedom! Mhmm... yea Mhmm... ey! Mhmm... ey-yeah-ey yeah yeah yeah eh, mhmm Mhmm... Hey! No, no no Mhmm... yea! Mhmm... Yea ey-yeah-ey yeah yeah mhm, Nah na-na-nah
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85
i'm like porcelain easy to build easy to break easy to hurt jealousy is my only sin a pure love dedication mhm, yes, baby, oh yes you poison every little part of me but i like it when you set my body free it makes me crave all that you have all that you are technically we are only friends but you're in my explicit dreams i think of you controlling me and I get a serious thrill poisonous lips set me free for this love i would **** take me home let me be your only one love me through the dark nights the sunsets the sunny skies the storms
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Sep 22, 2013
Sep 22, 2013 at 3:35 PM UTC
mix of good & bad
ive never been enough even in my mind, i fight to win the rival that never ends. the only things that bring me comfort are Doctor Who and Lord of the Rings, mhm... yes i miss you and that smile of yours dear god, it is like heaven. but, you see, ill never be enough ive always known that. neither the doctor nor the hobbit will come to save me. i hate being so dispensable i feel so bad for my friends and my family, they have to deal with me all the time but i guess when im gone everybody will grab a glass of wine. cheers, shes finally dead. (i say this all the time in my head!) oh dear, dont be sad, be glad, shes dead and the demons are gone from her blasted head. (can i make the same end-rhyme twice?)
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Nov 24, 2013
Nov 24, 2013 at 12:50 AM UTC
what a lonely holiday, good thing i have my demons
i walked into his room asked if he had a minute to spare he smiled and said of course and then suddenly, i got really nervous. i started giggling all weirdly and he started chuckling and asking, "what? what? whats up?" and i said, "i have a game tonight and i can't play in it, you should come and watch, you know, to uhh... support us or something." and he laughed, asked what time the game was at and said, "ill be able to make it!" and i smiled so wide, and i left while saying, "see you later and thank you!" and he slowly said, "goodbye... goodbye..." all sadly. don't be sad, i will see you later. we can talk in the stands and watch the game together. mhm... you make my widest dreams come true one day at a time sweetheart.
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Nov 19, 2013
Nov 19, 2013 at 2:04 PM UTC
Untitled
Mhm Maybe it's me, who's afraid of commitment Maybe it's you, who's notion is not to listen Maybe it's us who seem to rather die than fall in love... Mhm Maybe I've lied, in your arms for too long Maybe you've dived, too deep into my soul Thought it was us, we who would grow old And together reinvent love... But why? Why don't we try to stay? Is it easier to just get up and walk away? We fight but not for the reason of love... Oh, not for the reason of love Girl, talk to me..let the words fly like butterflies My net in hand, I'll catch all your truth and lies Because that is love It's a war of words, pain and lies But we still gotta try Mhm Divide our hearts, add them together and watch our bond multiply Let me give you wings, the power of my affection will make you fly Please hold my hand, if you let me go I just may die... Ohh baby can't we try... Said "she's tired of love...@ But why? Why don't we try to stay? Is it easier to just get up and walk away? We fight but not for the reason of love... Oh, not for the reason of love Oh no no no not the reason of love It's cold out side but she's rather not come in, the sun can shine but she rather it rain my sins, the leaves are falling just like us, So much change but we refuse to fight... (Piano) We refuse to fight for...the reason of love.
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Feb 16, 2016
Feb 16, 2016 at 9:41 AM UTC
"Reason of love"
So just how much ******** are you prepared to believe? Lets see, take a seat we've got half an hour or maybe even better you're locked up at my mercy & my team are giving you drugs for a diagnosis I've given you before we've even talked & hopefully the drugs are curing you of life, love, hope & any despair you're feeling at being stuck here what's that? you've ballooned in weight? all you do is sleep? your feet are turning inward? You're nearly diabetic? Your hands are always shaking? I'm shrinking your unwanted little brain? A small price to pay for the promise of freedom my little puppet on a string lets see just how much ******** we can make you believe I'll make you say it ' I'm ill' or I'll never let you out it's just my little whim you're one of the chosen few whose life will be shattered in two kiss goodbye to your emotions What? You're angry? That's atrocious. You are dangerous it's good we locked you up and what? You say you're in love? sheer Erotomania, my dear we will cure it, never fear Talking of fear, I'd say you have paranoia MHM, Psychosis, that's right, Momma Happiness is mania Sadness is depression having said that, you'll hopefully want to **** yourself after our little session to confirm my treatment of you I'm an expert I've got a degree in ******** no-one has ever dared to say I'm wrong so don't you start I do, you know have a heart & it beats only for me so if you want to be free you'd better **** it up & suffer
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Jul 7, 2015
Jul 7, 2015 at 12:45 PM UTC
The Consultant Doctor's/ Psychiatrist's Song
Cherry blonde girl, find my hand on your waist- and your sickly sweet smile carrying me to my untimely demise, just one more time.
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Aug 23, 2025
Aug 23, 2025 at 4:52 PM UTC
Mhm
I heard the neighbor-lady through the wall, she said, "... yes, mhm ... you don't have to ask me questions ...." Getting hot, perspiring from the shirt, I hate the itchiness and lifted up my shirt, There! " ... I have to go ... I'll leave the door unlocked ...." Then heard a shuffle, sheets and door hinges, then maybe her step down the hallway. An unlatched! apartment--I've coveted less-- this and all the pomp, pills, and condoms I've stole, oh I was up already, zipped myself away, making the way between diaries and ***** plates, oh already up opening my door--you guessed? The hallway was empty; I went right and door 54, was it this? I put my weight to it, fogged the eyehole with my breath. Hand to the **** I turned and it opened. Augh! The managers who've stopped me, once I was even tackled by a security guard, was handcuffed, was once called "heartless"-- if only every door opened like this. I was shirtless still, in fact, my hand strayed was raised to my breast and I kneaded the skin and tugged the hair: I entered. It was dark and I feared the honesty of light. I had a step to the next and her kitchen came upon me, I saw the shadows of her home. I wandered further as if walking an antiverse; someone else the same template. I wanted to find where I lived in her home, where I sat and heard her often call, where I imagined she curled phone cords or refused to snore now matter how hard I pressed my ears to the wall. This is it? This is her bedroom, adjunct to mine, a wall to separate-- she sleeps here. I've got breathlessness and my hand is groping. Does she have a closet or dresser? I will see. She calls a boy by name, is he coming? When is he? Can I hide here, see him? oh soon. I'll know too soon, too. I open the door. And she is staring back. Her hand against the wall, the spot, where I rock my body awake from nightmares. To reach through the plaster and steal the socks. It was a, a, a great shame to be so looked upon so, an inanimate gaze like a mirror's that maybe can't see me, dunno. I want to move further, can't. Can't say anything either.
0
Mar 1, 2012
Mar 1, 2012 at 10:35 PM UTC
"I'm just next door."
I heard the neighbor-lady through the wall, she said, "... yes, mhm ... you don't have to ask me questions ...." Getting hot, perspiring from the shirt, I hate the itchiness and lifted up my shirt, There! " ... I have to go ... I'll leave the door unlocked ...." Then heard a shuffle, sheets and door hinges, then maybe her step down the hallway. An unlatched! apartment--I've coveted less-- this and all the pomp, pills, and condoms I've stole, oh I was up already, zipped myself away, making the way between diaries and ***** plates, oh already up opening my door--you guessed? The hallway was empty; I went right and door 54, was it this? I put my weight to it, fogged the eyehole with my breath. Hand to the **** I turned and it opened. Augh! The managers who've stopped me, once I was even tackled by a security guard, was handcuffed, was once called "heartless"-- if only every door opened like this. I was shirtless still, in fact, my hand strayed was raised to my breast and I kneaded the skin and tugged the hair: I entered. It was dark and I feared the honesty of light. I had a step to the next and her kitchen came upon me, I saw the shadows of her home. I wandered further as if walking an antiverse; someone else the same template. I wanted to find where I lived in her home, where I sat and heard her often call, where I imagined she curled phone cords or refused to snore now matter how hard I pressed my ears to the wall. This is it? This is her bedroom, adjunct to mine, a wall to separate-- she sleeps here. I've got breathlessness and my hand is groping. Does she have a closet or dresser? I will see. She calls a boy by name, is he coming? When is he? Can I hide here, see him? oh soon. I'll know too soon, too. I open the door. And she is staring back. Her hand against the wall, the spot, where I rock my body awake from nightmares. To reach through the plaster and steal the socks. It was a, a, a great shame to be so looked upon so, an inanimate gaze like a mirror's that maybe can't see me, dunno. I want to move further, can't. Can't say anything either.
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51
Let me tell y’all something My blackness… mhm MY blackness whew chilleee when i tell y’all MY BLACK - NESS that **** is MAGICAL y'all heard me? MA - GI - CAL do yall see my skin? The color? the undertones? it’s glowing huh? this melanin i can guarantee you it aint nothing to play with and definitely not something to slander this **** is beautiful I promise you my blackness is no lie my blackness isn't what these people are portraying it to be my blackness is not the poverty you see on tvs it is not the violence they show you on the media my blackness is not loud not ghetto not ratchet not ill-mannered and definitely not what my blackness is forgiving but un forgetful my blackness is what makes my skin so tough its the reason I'm not here running around crying about these lil white kids calling me porch monkey, ****** ni**er y'all heard that? NI**ER NI-ER if I got to hear it y'all going to hear it too NI**ER speaks volumes huh that word holds weight dont it y'all see my hair yea it may be in some braids right now but BA- BIEE my hair is a crown that sits on my head these naps that you tryna slander are actually alluring, irresistible kinks coils and curls they defy the force of gravity and reach towards the gods and my ancestors that blessed me with this big beautiful hair and chocolaty skin that you yourself couldn't obtain on your death bed My mouth the one you tryna call loud is me and the strength of a thousand voices fighting the system that was never broken but built in a way to shatter the souls of what lets keep it going aight finish the sentence my blackness is…. …. did y'all hear that? our blackness is luxurious, victorious definitely not notorious, uplifting, persisting, y'all know this one forgiving but un forgetting, natural, masterful our **** is far from artificial, untamed, unashamed, worthy of all acclaim, raw, outlawed, in desperate need of equality before the law, we’re fighting we’re tired help us out y'all give us this equality y'all walking around not worrying about a **** thing but you ever grew up in a system that was built to put you and your whole family behind metaphorical bars your mom never told you to listen to the police regardless of the situation not because they are of authority but because the people hired to protect our communities are trigger happy cops that want to see us dead because of my blackness with the way things are I have to raise my son in a manner
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Apr 28, 2019
Apr 28, 2019 at 12:11 AM UTC
MY BLACKNESS
Let me tell y’all something My blackness… mhm MY blackness whew chilleee when i tell y’all MY BLACK - NESS that **** is MAGICAL y'all heard me? MA - GI - CAL do yall see my skin? The color? the undertones? it’s glowing huh? this melanin i can guarantee you it aint nothing to play with and definitely not something to slander this **** is beautiful I promise you my blackness is no lie my blackness isn't what these people are portraying it to be my blackness is not the poverty you see on tvs it is not the violence they show you on the media my blackness is not loud not ghetto not ratchet not ill-mannered and definitely not what my blackness is forgiving but un forgetful my blackness is what makes my skin so tough its the reason I'm not here running around crying about these lil white kids calling me porch monkey, ****** ni**er y'all heard that? NI**ER NI-ER if I got to hear it y'all going to hear it too NI**ER speaks volumes huh that word holds weight dont it y'all see my hair yea it may be in some braids right now but BA- BIEE my hair is a crown that sits on my head these naps that you tryna slander are actually alluring, irresistible kinks coils and curls they defy the force of gravity and reach towards the gods and my ancestors that blessed me with this big beautiful hair and chocolaty skin that you yourself couldn't obtain on your death bed My mouth the one you tryna call loud is me and the strength of a thousand voices fighting the system that was never broken but built in a way to shatter the souls of what lets keep it going aight finish the sentence my blackness is…. …. did y'all hear that? our blackness is luxurious, victorious definitely not notorious, uplifting, persisting, y'all know this one forgiving but un forgetting, natural, masterful our **** is far from artificial, untamed, unashamed, worthy of all acclaim, raw, outlawed, in desperate need of equality before the law, we’re fighting we’re tired help us out y'all give us this equality y'all walking around not worrying about a **** thing but you ever grew up in a system that was built to put you and your whole family behind metaphorical bars your mom never told you to listen to the police regardless of the situation not because they are of authority but because the people hired to protect our communities are trigger happy cops that want to see us dead because of my blackness with the way things are I have to raise my son in a manner
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47
there was this guy who inspired me once upon a time he was the reason i even wrote my first ever love poem and at first it was serious and then it all turned into dust but i was stunned infatuated for a long time now he's no longer in my life and i'm over the thought of ever needing his embrace or his face to kiss met him 4 years ago september 2009 fell in love but turned him away because love was a no-go
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Dec 27, 2013
Dec 27, 2013 at 10:26 AM UTC
over him mhm
He still got it, We still got it And I know it, I've always known it You'd come up every year or two, Kept thinkin how I bet I still knew you We were mad, little bads just havin fun Summertime, only time we ever had free run Just kids, n when they click it's real Sandbox love, mhm, for real
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May 14, 2014
May 14, 2014 at 2:19 AM UTC
Sandbox Love
Hey Come over Are you free, I’m just chillin, Cali an me Yeah she’s cute mhm I know I Give it some time I take it slow Wait patiently Stalk silently Is this really happening ? Move like a panther I wanna hear that answer Oh yeah it’s cold Let’s warm up Totally a reason Don’t get stuck I’m just being nice Watch your step Hold my hand But after you lose it It’ll happen again. Fire now I’m getting ready But right now. I’m alone and sweating This ain’t me This is clear Wake up I’ve spent my cheer Blow over me
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Oct 12, 2018
Oct 12, 2018 at 9:33 PM UTC
Hook, Line and Sinker
*i love that it took 30 slits for you to realize I needed help. Thanks for leaving me at the emergency room by myself. Don't you ever ******* dare touch me again. I just want to die.*
0
Feb 22, 2017
Feb 22, 2017 at 7:55 AM UTC
Fix Yourself? Yeah. Mhm.