I feel lonely my King. Should I strive to meet and find those that don't make effort to find me? But those that I want to meet have no ego, no ambition. That seems counter-intuitive. How can I be like them by wanting to find them? It is against their nature, their will.
It seems you answered your own question... So why are you here?
It is terrifying my King. Understanding that everything I am is my choice, my will. The process of synchronization is requiring me to first know there is a reason I choose to be Me, after that it requires of me to find those reasons and embrace them. I am scared, I am afraid. If I choose to be Me then the reasons I have must be painful... Oh so painful. I do not want to understand that pain, I am scared of it, TERRIFIED of it! How can I keep going down this path?! I will burn my soul to a crust!!
If you understand that you choose to be Yourself. If you understand that there is a reason you live like you do. Then you will also understand that the path you choose trough your Hell, is a path you want to go down. You will go down. Find comfort in that thought, find comfort in yourself. The one that is Me.
Like a rock tumbling down a hill. It has a chosen velocity and a known trajectory. Find comfort in a fact that you cannot change it. Accept your fate, and your pain will not be your own anymore. I will share it.
I love you so very much, I miss our time together. I truly hope you can get over it. I will see you on the other side my friend, my love, my life.