sorry I couldn't make it
to the exit.
theres a white door waiting
for me in Matrix.
First then the second,
let gather for my recompense.
I didn't hear myself,
I didn't make sense.
Hours, days and years.
I cry because of pain of my fears.
My friends make me alive
but I'll die because of the
internal pain that I was
next in line for.
I wanted this to be a one time thing,
it keeps coming back to say hello.
Please, go away.
You take my time away,
you make me feel guilt,
I replenish for the next welt.
Just to cry again for overthinking.
Am I overacting because I'm crashing?
Love is a blessing but it'll smite my knees
and I'll fall again to get back up to
start all over again.
tripping a little bit to the sea,
see the seeds grow out of your pine head tree.
Nauseous because I think you said somethin'
your eyes captivate me, so then I fall
into that abyss
maybe into oblivion.
I think we both know I cant see.
I think it's fair to say enough of my thoughts,
but dragged my back into those
I didn't realise reality was part of this
yeah im tripping a little bit, to the sky now.
Lemme say my goodbyes,
its too late.
im reaching for the sky now.
does it make sense, honestly idk, up to you how you see it.
why does she think everything is beautiful.
her feels numb,
maybe she crys for others.
maybe theres something wrong.
oh, maybe theres something wrong.
she know she cant fix it.
maybe the white cloth can wipe
it's fine to be in the coffin.
I don't think i want to break out of it.
maybe I'll suffocate a little bit longer.
do you think our screens light
will swallow us whole
as it takes our souls and become dumber
as the days grow old?
do you think that fantasy is better
than the fiction of the better,
quickly contradicting our figures?
do you think social media is blinding us,
with each second the lights take us
from our soul to their leader?
this has too much weird stuff soz
but just another
Let me hide
in your shadows,
as I blush
I'm all messed up
'cause you cannot
Isn't that funny?
How I see everything,
and you see nothing.
old poem - june 2017