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"inquires" poems
she inquires why I write so many poems, easy comes reply: It gives me a fantastic living, it makes and gives, each poem, a calculation, a reconciliation of who I am...a miner of the mineral wealth in my veins
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Jul 26, 2020
Jul 26, 2020 at 3:59 PM UTC
she inquires why I write so many poems
Horrid and morbid, bitter, glittered and littered memories! Automotives, adaptive captives, movies, motives, Natives, locomotives, obsessive and possessive. Some awesome, brilliant, different, ignorant, persistent and resilient. ****** and exotic! Some memories are eccentric, fantastic, futuristic, magic, logistic, optimistic, plastic, realistic, tragic or sadistic. Some random sizes with hidden prizes! Blameful, gainful, lameful and painful. Dreary destinies, diaries, inquires, weary rivalries, stories and theories in memory. In theory, memories made from cheers and fears, jeers and tears! Of amends, amens, omens, gems, hymns and stems. Memories abbreviated and dedicated, deviated and medicated! Memories cased, edited and erased. Evangelically, eventually everyone inherits! They’re like tiny merits! They spike the psych. They strike and are unlike. Memories of bites, defects, dislikes, effects, fights, flights, insects, logics, neglects, objects, plight, projects, protests, recollects, reflects rejects, respects and suspects. Memories of fate and hate! Some are not great. Memories of schemes, screams or themes of dreams that seem. Memories of small, memories of tall! Memories in despise, memories of lies. Memories of wise; beyond the skies, as I close my eyes…
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Mar 29, 2012
Mar 29, 2012 at 9:40 PM UTC
POEM ENTITLED: “MEMORIES”
Forest inquires: How do you decide, choose your design, find its guise, give it a face, surrender to the poem's own vanity,         and choose the poem's alignment?                                                   an answer forms: this alignment idea, you think it simple, everybody understands what your inquiry means alignment -  the appropriate relative position we live in relative position to each other, our poems too, for they are but written synapses of our close captioned interactions, seemingly random, but assuredly not, as we invest in ourselves, seeking the mysterious appropriate answer                                                                                         from the Theory of Poetic Relativity                                                                 i love your question;                              hold it to my nostrils,                                                                     smell the coffee aroma wake up blast inherent;                                                                         kiss its robust childlike cheeks for the simple   soulfulness essential arousal; for you see sir you have found the appropriate position that relates us, our mindful words;                                  answer no good, wholly insufficient?                                         perfect.                           as i close this quick cooked to perfection laboratory solution, take note                                                                                    the earth has moved                                 our hearts have beaten a measly thousand times                                     time and space have appropriated our prior                                            relativity when you return years hence this poem's shape will perforce have moved. for words are weathered flux constant and yet inherently unchanged except for the part of us that changes with every re-reading   and what was right before has left and the center has moved again
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Mar 12, 2017
Mar 12, 2017 at 9:25 AM UTC
alignment (The Theory of Poetic Relativity)
Forest inquires: How do you decide, choose your design, find its guise, give it a face, surrender to the poem's own vanity,         and choose the poem's alignment?                                                   an answer forms: this alignment idea, you think it simple, everybody understands what your inquiry means alignment -  the appropriate relative position we live in relative position to each other, our poems too, for they are but written synapses of our close captioned interactions, seemingly random, but assuredly not, as we invest in ourselves, seeking the mysterious appropriate answer                                                                                         from the Theory of Poetic Relativity                                                                 i love your question;                              hold it to my nostrils,                                                                     smell the coffee aroma wake up blast inherent;                                                                         kiss its robust childlike cheeks for the simple   soulfulness essential arousal; for you see sir you have found the appropriate position that relates us, our mindful words;                                  answer no good, wholly insufficient?                                         perfect.                           as i close this quick cooked to perfection laboratory solution, take note                                                                                    the earth has moved                                 our hearts have beaten a measly thousand times                                     time and space have appropriated our prior                                            relativity when you return years hence this poem's shape will perforce have moved. for words are weathered flux constant and yet inherently unchanged except for the part of us that changes with every re-reading   and what was right before has left and the center has moved again
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28
Late night dedications from you to me. Writing you letters to see if you are holding it down for me. Collect calls from me to you and some steamy conversation... when your family inquires about my whereabouts....you say I'm on vacation. Your image in my head is what makes each day easier to bare. I'm writing and doing this time instead of stressing and pulling out my hair. It's been said that you do the time and don't let the time do you. I don't want to see the white jackets and be 302'd. Listening to the radio as the love songs play..... Daydreaming as I glance at the pictures of us together on Unity day. The reason I love you is not hard to see or maybe it's just me. My emotions run wild whenever you're next to me. Expressing to you my visions and dreams while I'm incarcerated. Promises that when I get out ....our lives won't be complicated. My thoughts become hot air balloons and the English language becomes foreign. A refugee in my own land except my name's not Lauryn. Wishing I could hold you and fall into a deep sleep. Time would stand still and nightmares would never creep. Our love is like a mountain that has no peaks. I'm missing you like crazy as I'm counting down the weeks. I'm holding you hostage. You're a prisoner without the cuffs. You're saving yourself for me, but it's evident I'll never be worthy enough even if I was free. The money was my idol and it came so fast..... Partying my life away and having a blast. I never thought about how long the money and fun would last. My rise and fall like a pool that's been deflated. My capture and imprisonment greatly exaggerated and celebrated. The families that I've hurt......by them I'm hated. I've destroyed my neighborhood. That's what many have stated. All this is true .....so I'm setting you free. Consider this the last correspondence you'll ever receive from me. Please accept this heartfelt apology. My love I am so....so sorry. My love has revolved around you. My every waking thought has been about you. Now you are telling me that you're setting me free..... Whoa! wait a minute......How could this be? Since we were little kids it's been me and you. You were the paper and I was the glue. My people said that you were not good enough for me, but I was still stuck on you. This really hurts my heart as I read the words you've penned. I realized not so long ago that this relationship must come to an end. The transition will be difficult and it will take time for my heart to mend. As I listen to the lockdown love dedications again and again..... I'll have vivid memories of how this relationship began it end. 4ever in my heart Lockdown Love
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Oct 7, 2012
Oct 7, 2012 at 4:36 PM UTC
Lockdown Love
Late night dedications from you to me. Writing you letters to see if you are holding it down for me. Collect calls from me to you and some steamy conversation... when your family inquires about my whereabouts....you say I'm on vacation. Your image in my head is what makes each day easier to bare. I'm writing and doing this time instead of stressing and pulling out my hair. It's been said that you do the time and don't let the time do you. I don't want to see the white jackets and be 302'd. Listening to the radio as the love songs play..... Daydreaming as I glance at the pictures of us together on Unity day. The reason I love you is not hard to see or maybe it's just me. My emotions run wild whenever you're next to me. Expressing to you my visions and dreams while I'm incarcerated. Promises that when I get out ....our lives won't be complicated. My thoughts become hot air balloons and the English language becomes foreign. A refugee in my own land except my name's not Lauryn. Wishing I could hold you and fall into a deep sleep. Time would stand still and nightmares would never creep. Our love is like a mountain that has no peaks. I'm missing you like crazy as I'm counting down the weeks. I'm holding you hostage. You're a prisoner without the cuffs. You're saving yourself for me, but it's evident I'll never be worthy enough even if I was free. The money was my idol and it came so fast..... Partying my life away and having a blast. I never thought about how long the money and fun would last. My rise and fall like a pool that's been deflated. My capture and imprisonment greatly exaggerated and celebrated. The families that I've hurt......by them I'm hated. I've destroyed my neighborhood. That's what many have stated. All this is true .....so I'm setting you free. Consider this the last correspondence you'll ever receive from me. Please accept this heartfelt apology. My love I am so....so sorry. My love has revolved around you. My every waking thought has been about you. Now you are telling me that you're setting me free..... Whoa! wait a minute......How could this be? Since we were little kids it's been me and you. You were the paper and I was the glue. My people said that you were not good enough for me, but I was still stuck on you. This really hurts my heart as I read the words you've penned. I realized not so long ago that this relationship must come to an end. The transition will be difficult and it will take time for my heart to mend. As I listen to the lockdown love dedications again and again..... I'll have vivid memories of how this relationship began it end. 4ever in my heart Lockdown Love
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45
The dermatologist demands a pre-summer scan of my visual delights fully magnified. Peering into places where no one else has ever peered, even me, reminds me that this is a potentially "disruptive" process. Eye don't know what his eyes have seen.   He works in silence pin punctuated by the occasional mmmm or throat clearing rumble. Snappy removal of neutrally colored gloves signify conclusion, he opines as follows: "Were you aware," he inquires, "that the lines, the furrows on a your forehead correspond to the life your have lead?" "You have three, deep deep tracks, and that's a fact." Yes, eye know, and each one is a tree ring notation of my existence. Each a different year, each a different moment fearful, a death and a birth, a passing, a regaining. No, not children or parents, illusions. Markers of our lives are the birth and death of our illusionary, our revelation minutes, that measure and scribe what dug those furrows is now officially, no more. Until we start anew, a different Pretense, a channel commenced to commemorate. Living the dream, they say, aren't we all, eye think, and so inform him. The doctor did not bill for this visitation.
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May 23, 2015
May 23, 2015 at 5:23 PM UTC
A Full Body Examination: Tree Rings
he's terrified of her voice that whips his eardrums like kashmir switches and tickles his diaphragm until he convulses in nervous laughter inside his head the way it inquires broadly, like an opera written in tornado sirens and megaphones and the brightness of lighthouses, for conversation he thought had drowned long ago and only reemerges as bubbles on the lake's surface a boiling body popping deafeningly with anxiety, and plumping bravery pasta, which smells seductive, which he loves... he's just not hungry right now.
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Oct 10, 2013
Oct 10, 2013 at 2:49 PM UTC
spice and nice
I am now, I am now... for reasons you need not concern yourself, oft disappear for an hour or two, making an odd combination of groans and moans, that she follows like a crumb trail through the forest, til she finds me and asks if I’m OK, and answer-true, same-always, when only she inquires, smile>gritted teeth, laugh line>worry line, I am now, I am now
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Mar 3, 2018
Mar 3, 2018 at 7:28 AM UTC
I am now, I am now...
Still dark. The unknown bird sits on his usual branch. The little dog next door barks in his sleep inquiringly, just once. Perhaps in his sleep, too, the bird inquires once or twice, quavering. Questions--if that is what they are-- answered directly, simply, by day itself. Enormous morning, ponderous, meticulous; gray light streaking each bare branch, each single twig, along one side, making another tree, of glassy veins... The bird still sits there. Now he seems to yawn. The little black dog runs in his yard. His owner's voice arises, stern, "You ought to be ashamed!" What has he done? He bounces cheerfully up and down; he rushes in circles in the fallen leaves. Obviously, he has no sense of shame. He and the bird know everything is answered, all taken care of, no need to ask again. --Yesterday brought to today so lightly! (A yesterday I find almost impossible to lift.)
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2.4k
Five Flights Up
The young whale inquires to his beloved dad "Where did I come from?" Answering his son with a thanks from him he had replied, "You're whalecum."
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Apr 8, 2017
Apr 8, 2017 at 8:30 AM UTC
Father-Son Bond
early after-noon, she quizzes, “would I be ok with skinless boneless roasted chicken breast, with sautéed mushrooms for our dinner, ce soir?” so smile I, for it is a favored menu of pleasure, from one who has never presented us a meal that is less than perfect later, she shyly inquires, “would be ok if we to eat a little early, I have a salon, followed by an Argentine Tango dance milonga tonight and one starts early (and tango parties end typically the next  day? (no|si, me, don’t dance) of course, respondez in the affirmative, thus confirming our love with the consideration that veins out affection mutual and then I add: “instead of an hours food prep, which distracts you from the hour deeded for dressing for dancing  motivation proper, and add a little kick-her: *I love you so much, would happily consume your tuna fish salad sandwich, every night, for the rest of our lives together, it’s fast and simple, a dis-less-stressing concoction, that we both enjoy* she (s)miles a sweetened thanks, after numerous reassurances, that our love only grows stronger with acts of smart sensitivity to each others needs, no standard of care breached, au contraire, meant sincerely, earning me a secondary whiling smiling and this true story is a poem, has been writ a thousand times, in a million different tiny gestures, of which, I am proud she exhales a breath elongated, a release of an admixture of differing pleasures released, and goes into the night to dance in the arms of strangers, which concerns me not at all, after all, these  many years, aware she moves exquisitely in a dance that demands years of practice, for it requires intangible silent of the merest slight finger  pressures to guide the dancer what next steps are coy coming, and I have stolen this knot of knowledge, for mine own purposes, secretly & selfishly, employing these techniques, for most of the time we’ve been together this poem of tuna fish sandwiches, becomes a dance of words which is my specialty, which she will read in the morning l, maybe, if I send it to her, though obviously, that is unnecessary 😉 as she returns to our bed, me asleeping, she, exhaustingly satisfied, sleeeps deeper secured by the knowing that we, are both, the beneficiaries of: my learned dancing practices for such is the ways of the poet!
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Dec 14, 2024
Dec 14, 2024 at 10:39 AM UTC
of love and tuna salad sandwiches
early after-noon, she quizzes, “would I be ok with skinless boneless roasted chicken breast, with sautéed mushrooms for our dinner, ce soir?” so smile I, for it is a favored menu of pleasure, from one who has never presented us a meal that is less than perfect later, she shyly inquires, “would be ok if we to eat a little early, I have a salon, followed by an Argentine Tango dance milonga tonight and one starts early (and tango parties end typically the next  day? (no|si, me, don’t dance) of course, respondez in the affirmative, thus confirming our love with the consideration that veins out affection mutual and then I add: “instead of an hours food prep, which distracts you from the hour deeded for dressing for dancing  motivation proper, and add a little kick-her: *I love you so much, would happily consume your tuna fish salad sandwich, every night, for the rest of our lives together, it’s fast and simple, a dis-less-stressing concoction, that we both enjoy* she (s)miles a sweetened thanks, after numerous reassurances, that our love only grows stronger with acts of smart sensitivity to each others needs, no standard of care breached, au contraire, meant sincerely, earning me a secondary whiling smiling and this true story is a poem, has been writ a thousand times, in a million different tiny gestures, of which, I am proud she exhales a breath elongated, a release of an admixture of differing pleasures released, and goes into the night to dance in the arms of strangers, which concerns me not at all, after all, these  many years, aware she moves exquisitely in a dance that demands years of practice, for it requires intangible silent of the merest slight finger  pressures to guide the dancer what next steps are coy coming, and I have stolen this knot of knowledge, for mine own purposes, secretly & selfishly, employing these techniques, for most of the time we’ve been together this poem of tuna fish sandwiches, becomes a dance of words which is my specialty, which she will read in the morning l, maybe, if I send it to her, though obviously, that is unnecessary 😉 as she returns to our bed, me asleeping, she, exhaustingly satisfied, sleeeps deeper secured by the knowing that we, are both, the beneficiaries of: my learned dancing practices for such is the ways of the poet!
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95
And I suppose my pretty daisy that I've been far too lazy Laying amongst all the flow ers of the breeze The children of the trees Jumping blindly and landing on our knees I waited all night listening to your piano riff As I star gazed and began to float a drift All the places that I flew above Were gleaming from the most purest love And all together in their own way they all just gently swayed Bumped back to back, soaked in their familiar bath Inquires of broken beats and tongues speak of those too weak The mind an instrument to rewind and cut up Taking and tossing all these miles of deceit Files for free feet Piles of pleasure peaks Stacked them high for all to see and we all laughed in a joyous symphony This waiting line had choked our minds And now we leave it all behind To float in the sky, using only our mind's eye Living in the depths of our heart's cry
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Nov 4, 2012
Nov 4, 2012 at 7:46 PM UTC
Dandelion Daze
I watched a miracle appear Almost Ten years ago and Deja Vu now its all You. From a friend, for a Friend, and Not a foe... Behold, a story of victory unfolds! uncanny though you may think that the stink of hell and BS be over powered and now somewhat plastered on a wall for the evil eye to dance the opposite YAW im sorry did i pull a moment of Leaves? a published nightmare, once re-visited with re-occurring themes yet all linked on a funny little string of life. now onto these unstable legs, garbled communication, just learning to rely on himself, transportation wanting out the cage and asleep without worry for his age. but hes adorable and his actions chuck full of thought but this all has the same meaning of moving forward feeling a breeze of excitement an air of delight when suddenly summer becomes winter these logs i ... chuck ... to a fire to warm the inquires with-- **** these splinters. to look around the circle of those i now start in thought to hold in a varied definition of "close" i'll keep by the shadow and watch and if its a connect four bingo, plinko, and even/or tic-tac-toe its that feeling of victory we all love to know.
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Nov 30, 2012
Nov 30, 2012 at 1:02 AM UTC
Victory
You drip into my thoughts like a slip of the tongue and blushing of parted lips; ravenous. Your indulgence of my masochistic inquires is shamelessly scandalous, Akin to a laceration of lace and a bursting of buttons, unraveling the threads of my modesty. The consequences stripping me of my delicacy exposing the betrayal of my anatomy. Brutality and savagery quicken my submission and the remnants of my restraint will succumb; a hunger. Dive into the warmth of my energy, the color of my heart, the wavelength of my soul; exploit. Your devilish grin growing, dilated pupils following my form taking sadistic pleasure in my resistance to a futile fight. Wide eyes watch your teeth sink into the purity of my flesh, porcelain complexion now stained with crimson red; capitulation to a carnal sentiment; surrender.
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Nov 18, 2013
Nov 18, 2013 at 5:15 PM UTC
Big Bad Wolf
there is an owl out there    somewhere in the darkness kept secret by whispering trees shrouded in shadow by leaf and cloud it seems to have a question for any who will listen politely but persistently it inquires pausing briefly awaiting an answer before asking again and again; whether intended or not this interrogation has infuriated the old boy and seemingly every other canine in the vicinity
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Sep 15, 2022
Sep 15, 2022 at 10:43 AM UTC
there is an owl
just before never... *my last performance, the words came original and easy, unlike all its predecessors; someone drew me a map of my life and times, cities, countries, and roads well travelled and a few, not too. Mountains, each with a woman’s name, who carried care, until she couldn’t, didn’t, and time’s weathering returned us individually into hillocks, and then rain eroded us back into old soil. the broad highways and back roads, always snaking away, fork-forcing directional choices, usually taking the wrong way, the easy and safe one, and how I have come to hate those words: easy and safe, for they are the pill combo that leaves you for dead, dulling the questioning one inquires of oneself, late, reluctantly. But there is always the unexpected. Today I saw a sunset on the Hudson River with a humpback whale blowing, running beside a river ferry, plowing the waters back and forth tween two states. Lived by this river for s e v e n t y years, and have seen the whales in many places, but here, in my city, in the river of my youth, never. and I got the sign, message received, there are still sights and poems to behold, arms to embrace, youngers to guide if they’ll permit it. so this title, these two, just before, this day, poem, came to remind me, the days map remains unfinished, there are lands and voyages and poems still awaiting drawing, and it is tomorrow, and just before tomorrow, that recording insistent demands, and a map is just a moment in time, until just before...never* 5:28 AM Thu Dec 10 2020 (a year deserving of its own line and ending) Manhattan, between two rivers.
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Dec 10, 2020
Dec 10, 2020 at 5:48 AM UTC
just before never...(a map, a humpback whale, a new day)
just before never... *my last performance, the words came original and easy, unlike all its predecessors; someone drew me a map of my life and times, cities, countries, and roads well travelled and a few, not too. Mountains, each with a woman’s name, who carried care, until she couldn’t, didn’t, and time’s weathering returned us individually into hillocks, and then rain eroded us back into old soil. the broad highways and back roads, always snaking away, fork-forcing directional choices, usually taking the wrong way, the easy and safe one, and how I have come to hate those words: easy and safe, for they are the pill combo that leaves you for dead, dulling the questioning one inquires of oneself, late, reluctantly. But there is always the unexpected. Today I saw a sunset on the Hudson River with a humpback whale blowing, running beside a river ferry, plowing the waters back and forth tween two states. Lived by this river for s e v e n t y years, and have seen the whales in many places, but here, in my city, in the river of my youth, never. and I got the sign, message received, there are still sights and poems to behold, arms to embrace, youngers to guide if they’ll permit it. so this title, these two, just before, this day, poem, came to remind me, the days map remains unfinished, there are lands and voyages and poems still awaiting drawing, and it is tomorrow, and just before tomorrow, that recording insistent demands, and a map is just a moment in time, until just before...never* 5:28 AM Thu Dec 10 2020 (a year deserving of its own line and ending) Manhattan, between two rivers.
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47
Passion a passionate mind is searching for ways to show desire a passionate soul inquires of ways to ignite the fire passion is more than caring it is the hearing of whispering leaves passion is more than sharing it is everything that one believes passion defines the depth of your heart to show the things that you love the echos that ring are only the start passion comes from above Gomer Lepoet...
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Apr 27, 2013
Apr 27, 2013 at 6:58 AM UTC
Passion
The butter’s too hard. The pressure of the broken knife handle leaves imprints of alien-like creatures on her little palm. Slicing through morning rays like a red-hot blade through butter, she raises her hand, and inspects the outlandish patterns with curiosity: A school of koi carp, teeth as sharp as prison razor wire, are using their fins to harvest two-headed sunflowers which are growing from within the tip of a giant scorpion tail. Dark clouds are looming over Dragon’s Fang Mountain. The wind is howling. Ten Bone Warriors emerge from a grotto— a cavity at the foot of the mountain, where their bows shine bright, even in the fading light; wild puffs of excitement steam-fills the air— the riders’ horses’ nostrils flare— a dance of death tramples over all things white. The koi sense trouble; some dive away and hide between the roots, they disappear into the scorpion tail’s cracks and craters, others harvest as fast as their fins can work, craning their necks. The Bone Warriors’ arrows rain down on the sunflower field. Lightning strikes. Pop! goes the toaster; she walks towards the refrigerator, and rubs her hand on her Spongebob apron. Her mother inquires how breakfast is coming along; Nika shakes her head and giggles, says it’s going to be the breakfast ever.
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Feb 4, 2011
Feb 4, 2011 at 4:16 PM UTC
Nika's Breakfast
These graceful ballerinas, seem to be so strong, from high strung chandeliers. an eerie sight it is to look upon society at your finest, at your worst. someday I want to join these ballerinas, on stage all is well, perfectly placed and put together. no one inquires off stage. how nice, no personal life, to worry about.
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Aug 3, 2013
Aug 3, 2013 at 8:09 PM UTC
Pearls Fall.
The muse inquires, knowing that a question such as this is cannon fodder, an off-the-shoulder-blouse tease, just a hint of cleavage, a whiff of parfume, something to make poet sneeze, ejecting an answering essay without a clue where to go, but, now the fifth gear engaged, compulsion full, immédiatement, en ce moment, laisser's aller! and he knows exactly what to say what if poet possessed a special character, to define the sadness that reflects that summer has had its memory card wiped, and even though today, will be a Saturday of jeans shorts, a halter top, sort of day, the chill of dreaded winter is not coming, already present and accounted for, enchanté, déjanté, has already encased his heart in ice so thick, that even if poet drank a Joni case of his fav summer quaff, un provence rose, his seasonal loss cannot be overcome, the summer man~king is dead all that in but a single character, a precise capture, a labor and  time saving device, but a character with no character for the labor would be love lost yet you swear by your succinct emojis, their immaculate efficient composition, and I would not trade one accidental, just-slipped-out I love you even for ten thousand disheartening heart symbols would you prefer |£%!<# instead of: *I love you so much it is driving me batshit crazy!* I'm stuck with my troop of twenty six and their multiple endless quilted rearrangements call me old and out of fashion, to your question, this poem is my ask and answered at 5:13am
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Sep 23, 2017
Sep 23, 2017 at 5:30 AM UTC
how come we can't add letters to the alphabet?
The muse inquires, knowing that a question such as this is cannon fodder, an off-the-shoulder-blouse tease, just a hint of cleavage, a whiff of parfume, something to make poet sneeze, ejecting an answering essay without a clue where to go, but, now the fifth gear engaged, compulsion full, immédiatement, en ce moment, laisser's aller! and he knows exactly what to say what if poet possessed a special character, to define the sadness that reflects that summer has had its memory card wiped, and even though today, will be a Saturday of jeans shorts, a halter top, sort of day, the chill of dreaded winter is not coming, already present and accounted for, enchanté, déjanté, has already encased his heart in ice so thick, that even if poet drank a Joni case of his fav summer quaff, un provence rose, his seasonal loss cannot be overcome, the summer man~king is dead all that in but a single character, a precise capture, a labor and  time saving device, but a character with no character for the labor would be love lost yet you swear by your succinct emojis, their immaculate efficient composition, and I would not trade one accidental, just-slipped-out I love you even for ten thousand disheartening heart symbols would you prefer |£%!<# instead of: *I love you so much it is driving me batshit crazy!* I'm stuck with my troop of twenty six and their multiple endless quilted rearrangements call me old and out of fashion, to your question, this poem is my ask and answered at 5:13am
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45
“My dear little one, what do you want? What do you need right now? Sweet little girl, what do you want?” asks DT I gently whisper my response, "I want to feel better." “Okay, tell me more,” he softly inquires. I take a deep breath and continue, “I want to be okay with all of my feelings and I don’t want to be afraid to share them. I want to believe that I am not my past, that my past is just a part of me. I want to be loved for who I am, and not what I have accomplished. I want to be authentic and real, and not be afraid to show the real me, all of me. I want to laugh more, that deep belly laugh, until tears of joy stream down my cheeks. And I want to cry less from that desperate, hopeless place I find myself in during the night. I want to be able to sleep without nightmares and no longer fear the darkness. I want to live without the voices in the shadows of my mind telling me I am bad, worthless, undeserving of care and love. I want to believe in myself, and I want to believe in others too. I want to trust. I want to understand, at the core of my being, that I am safe, and that I am going to be okay, no matter what happens.” “Is there anything else?” DT asks me. “I want to love myself for who I am. I want to recognize that I am working hard, that I will be okay. I want to love myself just because I am alive, and I am strong, and I deserve to find peace and happiness. I want to love all of me, even the parts I have not yet accepted and the parts that I do not like. I want to feel the love I have for myself every single day, even if only in some small way, even if only for a minute." He answers my request in a soft confident voice, "You will have these things. I believe in you. You will be okay. You will live."
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Jan 10, 2014
Jan 10, 2014 at 12:37 AM UTC
I don't want to die....But I don't want to live
“My dear little one, what do you want? What do you need right now? Sweet little girl, what do you want?” asks DT I gently whisper my response, "I want to feel better." “Okay, tell me more,” he softly inquires. I take a deep breath and continue, “I want to be okay with all of my feelings and I don’t want to be afraid to share them. I want to believe that I am not my past, that my past is just a part of me. I want to be loved for who I am, and not what I have accomplished. I want to be authentic and real, and not be afraid to show the real me, all of me. I want to laugh more, that deep belly laugh, until tears of joy stream down my cheeks. And I want to cry less from that desperate, hopeless place I find myself in during the night. I want to be able to sleep without nightmares and no longer fear the darkness. I want to live without the voices in the shadows of my mind telling me I am bad, worthless, undeserving of care and love. I want to believe in myself, and I want to believe in others too. I want to trust. I want to understand, at the core of my being, that I am safe, and that I am going to be okay, no matter what happens.” “Is there anything else?” DT asks me. “I want to love myself for who I am. I want to recognize that I am working hard, that I will be okay. I want to love myself just because I am alive, and I am strong, and I deserve to find peace and happiness. I want to love all of me, even the parts I have not yet accepted and the parts that I do not like. I want to feel the love I have for myself every single day, even if only in some small way, even if only for a minute." He answers my request in a soft confident voice, "You will have these things. I believe in you. You will be okay. You will live."
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**It's 5:00 pm, any poems to share?** *my watchwoman, Seamless Siri, my conscientious conscience, gives said inquiry daily, at the precise heure de rigeur, with the perfection of a mechanized soul attending to her imperfect human programmer poetry, a sometime thing, comes when it comes, what the query, my godmother faerie, truly seeks knowledge of is something she cannot measure, like my counted steps and distances travelled, what this overseer mine truly seeks to know* why am I here? *Here. On this earth.  On this site. have you any new written proofs, your existence on this day to justify, were your failings and flailings, surpassed by any acts of kindness, this new, freshest penmanship, a reflection, an accounting of grace and worth, blogged and logged here as if only I had one day, one poem left... at tabulation time, the incisor bites, are you juiced or morbid, this, your essayed life, are the words, deemed shareable, is their value, calculable palpable? Siri inquires but you are jury at the late afternoon trial by fire, wherein my singed bunt offerings are produced at the wake of when, my nom I do append am I deserving of your recompense of one more day, one more poem?* ~~for Harlon~~ 5:13 pm November 21, 2015
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Nov 23, 2015
Nov 23, 2015 at 5:07 PM UTC
It's 5:00 pm, any poems to share?
My mind wanders My soul inquires Am I enough? "You are the best" "You're all i need"  Thats what you said But is that the truth? Do you mean that? After all that happened? You have said it before, Before all it happened Before my heart broke And here you are Saying it again My heart is scared To trust with its might To love with its all For the same thing To happen again What is so different? From then en now? Please let me know I want to be enough
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Dec 12, 2018
Dec 12, 2018 at 2:31 AM UTC
Not Enough
My days are tormented by longing, So many dreams life did not fulfill, Longing for the love that never came, (Yet the gallant heart is hopeful still) I'm longing to foresee the future - Just how long will my loneliness last? Old memories offer no comfort, So I'm longing to forget the past I'm longing to know if God exists, In my mind it still remains unclear; Who shall I praise for nature's beauty, Witnessing its wrath, whom shall I fear? Few praise God in all circumstances, The faithful pay homage without doubt; But I'm perplexed by the suffering Born of disease, war, famine and drought I'm torn between loving and hating A God who cannot seem to decide If wrath or mercy is deserving .... So both arrive, with hope on the side I'm weary of this life of longing, I seek my refuge in solitude; Abandoning unanswered questions, I ascend to spheres of quietude But end of day finds my heart longing That just one of life's schemes be revealed: Fearing the reply, still it inquires: Will love be mine? Or has my fate been sealed!
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May 28, 2017
May 28, 2017 at 1:50 PM UTC
A Life of Longing
Apologies Promises to new beginnings second chances second chances I gave us another try Broken Oh! My stomach it dropped it dropped like the death of a thousand butterflies Concealment The real you no virtue no truth only lies Deception There were others other women other girls I was just another prize Excitemnt You wanted me my heart my heart it leaped with pride Friendship We were together first date first kiss you laughed, I sighed Goodbyes Your mind changed unresolved unexplained for all my life I'll wonder why Hesitaion Should I fight? with words with effort No I keep these feelings inside Introspection I want answers was it me? was it me? My insecurities multiply Jaded Overwhelmed with fatigue eyes closed eyes closed I sleep off the day though it isnt dignified Knowledge to lack experience sheltered sheltered Perhaps Im not as qualified Lonliness I reach for the phone the phone Then hang up because its better to hide Moments replaying real scenarios your movements your smile My mind now fully occupied Nothing are you ok? its nothing its nothing I say! Except for my heart collapsing in like some silent suicide Opportunities another suitor approaches he inquires he inquires Doesnt he know Im terrified? Prospects He likes me feelings feelings I cant decide Quiet praying, hands extended only silence only silence I look up into an empty sky Rumors you speak badly of me of me mouth opened wide Stagnet affection comes slow Im shy Im shy Men come at me in strides Tragedy all my efforts in vain in vain Desires split, disperse, then divide Unexplored "True Love Waits" *** *** Acceptable only when Im someones bride Vows made in wine never again never again Words often pledged when I think on you and I Wasted all this time true love real love You mean to tell me it died? Was crucified? Xs Your new girlfriend dont stare dont stare I turned my face I think I cried Years Life goes on Tick Tock Please hurry and pass me by Zigzags Poems wrote in fragments lines Painful rejection glorified
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Jun 28, 2017
Jun 28, 2017 at 1:28 AM UTC
The ABCs Of You and Me
Apologies Promises to new beginnings second chances second chances I gave us another try Broken Oh! My stomach it dropped it dropped like the death of a thousand butterflies Concealment The real you no virtue no truth only lies Deception There were others other women other girls I was just another prize Excitemnt You wanted me my heart my heart it leaped with pride Friendship We were together first date first kiss you laughed, I sighed Goodbyes Your mind changed unresolved unexplained for all my life I'll wonder why Hesitaion Should I fight? with words with effort No I keep these feelings inside Introspection I want answers was it me? was it me? My insecurities multiply Jaded Overwhelmed with fatigue eyes closed eyes closed I sleep off the day though it isnt dignified Knowledge to lack experience sheltered sheltered Perhaps Im not as qualified Lonliness I reach for the phone the phone Then hang up because its better to hide Moments replaying real scenarios your movements your smile My mind now fully occupied Nothing are you ok? its nothing its nothing I say! Except for my heart collapsing in like some silent suicide Opportunities another suitor approaches he inquires he inquires Doesnt he know Im terrified? Prospects He likes me feelings feelings I cant decide Quiet praying, hands extended only silence only silence I look up into an empty sky Rumors you speak badly of me of me mouth opened wide Stagnet affection comes slow Im shy Im shy Men come at me in strides Tragedy all my efforts in vain in vain Desires split, disperse, then divide Unexplored "True Love Waits" *** *** Acceptable only when Im someones bride Vows made in wine never again never again Words often pledged when I think on you and I Wasted all this time true love real love You mean to tell me it died? Was crucified? Xs Your new girlfriend dont stare dont stare I turned my face I think I cried Years Life goes on Tick Tock Please hurry and pass me by Zigzags Poems wrote in fragments lines Painful rejection glorified
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<?> god gave us little toes so when we are rushing our socks on, the little toe has something to cling to, and a way to say, hey! slow down god gave us powerful pinkies, the littlest of the five fingers, to give us balance, and reflection, that being upright is a good thing god did not give us eyes in the back of the head, because he forgot to order the integrated circuitry and was too embarrassed to admit it, but if you look closely, you can see where they were supposed to go...oops, no can do <?> *she, a voracious vicarious, reads a new book almost daily when I dismissed the time spent as an investment with a finality of no return, she demurred, purred, au contraire, my dove, every book expands the who of me and with so many ahead, yet unread, I'll live forever* <?> she inquires why I write so many poems, easy comes reply: It gives me a fantastic living, it makes and gives, each poem, a calculation, a reconciliation of who I am...a miner of the wealth in my veins
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Sep 9, 2017
Sep 9, 2017 at 10:51 AM UTC
why god gave us little toes and other nonsuch