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Wade Redfearn Sep 2018
The first settlers to the area called the Lumber River Drowning Creek. The river got its name for its dark, swift-moving waters. In 1809, the North Carolina state legislature changed the name of Drowning Creek to the Lumber River. The headwaters are still referred to as Drowning Creek.

Three p.m. on a Sunday.
Anxiously hungry, I stay dry, out of the pool’s cold water,
taking the light, dripping into my pages.
A city with a white face blank as a bust
peers over my shoulder.
Wildflowers on the roads. Planes circle from west,
come down steeply and out of sight.
A pinkness rises in my breast and arms:
wet as the drowned, my eyes sting with sweat.
Over the useless chimneys a bank of cloud piles up.
There is something terrible in the sky, but it keeps breaking.
Another is dead. Fentanyl. Sister of a friend, rarely seen.
A hand reaches everywhere to pass over eyes and mouths.
A glowing wound opens in heaven.
A mirror out of doors draws a gyre of oak seeds no one watches,
in the clear pool now sunless and black.

Bitter water freezes the muscles and I am far from shore.
I paddle in the shallows, near the wooden jail.
The water reflects a taut rope,
feet hanging in the breeze singing mercy
at the site of the last public hanging in the state.
A part-white fugitive with an extorted confession,
loved by the poor, dumb enough to get himself captured,
lonely on this side of authority: a world he has never lived in
foisting itself on the world he has -
only now, to steal his drunken life, then gone again.

1871 - Henderson Oxendine, one of the notorious gang of outlaws who for some time have infested Robeson County, N. C., committing ****** and robbery, and otherwise setting defiance to the laws, was hung at Lumberton, on Friday last in the presence of a large assemblage. His execution took place a very few days after his conviction, and his death occurred almost without a struggle.

Today, the town square collapses as if scorched
by the whiskey he drank that morning to still himself,
folds itself up like Amazing Grace is finished.
A plinth is laid
in the shadow of his feet, sticky with pine,
here where the water sickens with roots.
Where the canoe overturned. Where the broken oar floated and fell.
Where the snake lives, and teethes on bark,
waiting for another uncle.

Where the tobacco waves near drying barns rusted like horseshoes
and cotton studs the ground like the cropped hair of the buried.
Where schoolchildren take the afternoon
to trim the kudzu growing between the bodies of slaves.
Where appetite is met with flood and fat
and a clinic for the heart.
Where barges took chips of tar to port,
for money that no one ever saw.

Tar sticks the heel but isn’t courage.
Tar seals the hulls -
binds the planks -
builds the road.
Tar, fiery on the tongue, heavy as bad blood in the family -
dead to glue the dead together to secure the living.
Tar on the roofs, pouring heat.
Tar is a dark brown or black viscous liquid of hydrocarbons and free carbon,
obtained from a wide variety of organic materials
through destructive distillation.
Tar in the lungs will one day go as hard as a five-cent candy.

Liberty Food Mart
Cheapest Prices on Cigarettes
Parliament $22.50/carton
Marlboro $27.50/carton

The white-bibbed slaughterhouse Hmong hunch down the steps
of an old school bus with no air conditioner,
rush into the cool of the supermarket.
They pick clean the vegetables, flee with woven bags bulging.
What were they promised?
Air conditioning.
And what did they receive?
Chickenshit on the wind; a dead river they can't understand
with a name it gained from killing.

Truth:
A man was flung onto a fencepost and died in a front yard down the street.
A girl with a grudge in her eyes slipped a razorblade from her teeth and ended recess.
I once saw an Indian murdered for stealing a twelve-foot ladder.
The red line indicating heart disease grows higher and higher.
The red line indicating cardiovascular mortality grows higher and higher.
The red line indicating motor vehicle deaths grows higher and higher.
I burn with the desire to leave.

The stories make us full baskets of dark. No death troubles me.
Not the girl's blood, inert, tickled by opiates,
not the masked arson of the law;
not the smell of drywall as it rots,
or the door of the safe falling from its hinges,
or the chassis of cars, airborne over the rise by the planetarium,
three classmates plunging wide-eyed in the river’s icy arc –
absent from prom, still struggling to free themselves from their seatbelts -
the gunsmoke at the home invasion,
the tenement bisected by flood,
the cattle lowing, gelded
by agriculture students on a field trip.

The air contains skin and mud.
The galvanized barns, long empty, cough up
their dust of rotten feed, dry tobacco.
Men kneel in the tilled rows,
to pick up nails off the ground
still splashed with the blood of their makers.

You Never Sausage a Place
(You’re Always a ****** at Pedro’s!)
South of the Border – Fireworks, Motel & Rides
Exit 9: 10mi.

Drunkards in Dickies will tell you the roads are straight enough
that the drive home will not bend away from them.
Look in the woods to see by lamplight
two girls filling each other's mouths with smoke.
Hear a friendly command:
boys loosening a tire, stuck in the gut of a dog.
Turn on the radio between towns of two thousand
and hear the tiny voice of an AM preacher,
sharing the airwaves of country dark
with some chords plucked from a guitar.
Taste this water thick with tannin
and tell me that trees do not feel pain.
I would be a mausoleum for these thousands
if I only had the room.

I sealed myself against the flood.
Bodies knock against my eaves:
a clutch of cats drowned in a crawlspace,
an old woman bereft with a vase of pennies,
her dead son in her living room costumed as the black Jesus,
the ***** oil of a Chinese restaurant
dancing on top of black water.
A flow gauge spins its tin wheel
endlessly above the bloated dead,
and I will pretend not to be sick at dinner.

Misery now, a struggle ahead for Robeson County after flooding from Hurricane Matthew
LUMBERTON
After years of things leaving Robeson County – manufacturing plants, jobs, payrolls, people – something finally came in, and what was it but more misery?

I said a prayer to the city:
make me a figure in a figure,
solvent, owed and owing.
Take my jute sacks of wristbones,
my sheaves and sheaves of fealty,
the smell of the forest from my feet.
Weigh me only by my purse.
A slim woman with a college degree,
a rented room without the black wings
of palmetto roaches fleeing the damp:
I saw the calm white towers and subscribed.
No ingrate, I saved a space for the lost.
They filled it once, twice, and kept on,
eating greasy flesh straight from the bone,
craning their heads to ask a prayer for them instead.

Downtown later in the easy dark,
three college boys in foam cowboy hats shout in poor Spanish.
They press into the night and the night presses into them.
They will go home when they have to.
Under the bridge lit in violet,
a folding chair is draped in a ***** blanket.
A grubby pair of tennis shoes lay beneath, no feet inside.
Iced tea seeps from a chewed cup.
I pass a bar lit like Christmas.
A mute and pretty face full of indoor light
makes a promise I see through a window.
I pay obscene rents to find out if it is true,
in this nation tied together with gallows-rope,
thumbing its codex of virtues.
Considering this just recently got rejected and I'm free to publish it, and also considering that the town this poem describes is subject once again to a deluge whose damage promises to be worse than before, it seemed like a suitable time to post it. If you've enjoyed it, please think about making a small donation to the North Carolina Disaster Relief Fund at the URL below:
https://governor.nc.gov/donate-florence-recovery
Eric Martin Dec 2016
Do the masses know what its like to hit bottom
To have so many pains
To be forgotten
For the only thing that dulls it to be in your veins

From down here I can't look any one in the eyes
Even the people here can't as hard as they try
We have all done so much
Told so many lies

Every day I wonder
If my life is enough of a blunder
That I can finally give up
And let my self go under

I can't take a step forward without going back
Even if I try and get my life back on track
And climb out of this hell
It'll Just be a higher drop if I fell

Rock bottom isn't that bad
I tell my self its just a fad
I'll just dull the pains
By putting fentanyl in my veins
Sara Kellie Jun 2018
The head fuckery of societies rules.
The indoctrination in our schools
has led to the homeless on our streets while politicians count their seats.
The privileged few, too rich to mention
fail to reveal their true intention.

The NHS setup to break by psychopaths all on the take.
Big business stripped of all its gold,
no pension funds left for the old.
Big pharma, they don't miss a trick,
they're making you & I feel sick.
They push the pills that ring the tills
even though they know it kills.

With the best advice and greatest will
our kids are on **** & fentanyl.
While we're divided black & white,
we'd never stand up to their might
So take your neighbour, hold their hand and together we'll reclaim our land.

Poetry by Kaydee.
Utopia is a planet with no borders & free movement of a free people.
hailey gunderson Dec 2019
the ritual is like a dance foreshadowed by the first rush;
a smooth and soothing building block
characterizing my indulgence.
the room brightens and colorful shafts of light
surround my television in waves of heat.
Chloe E Sherwood Aug 2017
Your rocking chair tip slowly back and forth,
Hair messy and wine stained lips with an all to familiar gaze.
Cold, lifeless, drained.
With your speech slurred and muffled ramblings of:
"Can you bring your dad back?"
We did our best to carry you inside and give you the same care and love that only he could provide.
As you stumble aimlessly around the bathroom floor tuning out the please of your children to simply get up,
What is left of my heart is swept away like sand beneath the tides.
Hours pass, torn apart novels, tipped over tables, and a paper bag tossed into the woods containing every pill and packet of Benson and Hedges in sight,
You finally rest.
Your breathing raspy with the occasional mutter of words and sudden cries of agony and sorrow,
I hear you utter his name.
Those seven letters that still send chills down my spine,
The failed excuse of a replacement for the man that I once knew.
I reassured you it was only me in your bed,
Not the monster who pushed you over the edge.
-C h a r l i e
mari Oct 2021
degenerate beauty queen
treasure from the dredge of the Earth
strung up like Christmas lights
white crystal **** aflame
hydrangeas cower from her gaze
pink ribbons stained with age
droop lonesome in soft noir locks
pulled loose from men along the way

she'll be lucky if she doesn't die young
photos on the television
gunned down in some gang's maze
or somewhere in the gutters she calls home
expensive death bought by scratch
she'll be lucky to make it to twenty three
cigarettes and xanax soothe her to sleep
dancing on a silver pole took her hazily

high school diploma left her trailer park bound
never felt love 'less it came from a bottle
kissed only by knuckles since she began
running from ambitions to become no one
just someone's baby mama left shattered
she smiles to the world, for anyone who can see
inside she's full of rage, i see the tear stains
mascara runs black from her bambi eyes

complacent at best, naïve at worst
****** never grew up, she just grew angrier
i pray for you and the person you've become
ring me when you find your head
ring me when you find your way home
there's nothing from you that i wanna take
no matter how insignificant or terrifying
i love you forever and always
you will never be anything but beautiful to me
Àŧùl Jun 2013
****** - Nay!
******* - Nay!
Fentanyl - Nay!!!

I'm addicted to a different one.

***** - Nay!
Smack - Nay!!
Tobacco - Nay!!!

I'm addicted to a unique one.

Mescaline - Nay!
Marijuana - Nay!!
Ketamine - Klose!!!

I'm addicted to Poetry ever since I was borm.
My HP Poem #333
©Atul Kaushal
Gray Ndiaye Jul 2019
will you promise to
take the pain away
i need a solid yes
i heard you are more
than capable
but....
i hear you are dangerous
an acquired high
an ultimately ferocious ride
i just want to feel the numbness
the euphoria
the bliss
for this feeling
i am more than willing
to gamble
with my life
life always takes a gamble
on me
two can play this game
call me vivica
It's not
the fascists with their guns.
Or the Democrats with their bumper stickers.
Or the boomers with their Facebook.
Or the leftists with their Twitter.
Or the toddlers with their iPads.

It's not
the billionaires with their minimum wage.
Or the landlords with their land.
Or the hospitals with their bills.

It's not
the ocean with its plastic.
Or the forest with its fires;
no....

The worst part of living in this boring
post-modern nightmare dystopia
is that even the ******* drugs
are poisoned now.
Lawrence Hall Feb 28
Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

             Never Mind the Guns and the Fentanyl; Seize the Books

          By 1938, the Nazis had banned eighteen categories of books,
          4,175 titles, and the complete works of 565 authors…

                 -Molly Guptill Manning, When Books Went to War

Ideologues search libraries for ***** books
Because reading might give people ideas
And encourage them to think for themselves
Tyrants are threatened by words and ideas

Censors search Mary Poppins for ***** words
Because a wide vocabulary might give people ideas
And encourage them to think for themselves
Tyrants are threatened by words and ideas

In an era when even mere literacy is suspicious
Tyrants are threatened by words and ideas




How conservative and liberal book bans differ amid rise in literary restrictions - ABC News (go.com)

The Spread of Book Banning - The New York Times (nytimes.com)

Film censors aren’t protecting children from Mary Poppins – they’re protecting themselves (yahoo.com)

States Tell SCOTUS That Social Media Censors Conservatives : The NPR Politics Podcast : NPR

List of banned films - Wikipedia

https://www.forbes.com/sites/maryroeloffs/2023/12/22/police-officer-searches-middle-school-library-after-complaint-abo­ut-concerning-illustrations-in-lgbtq-book/

Someone is cutting down free little libraries in a Chicago suburb and police are searching for the suspect (msn.com)

Over 170 books banned from Florida school libraries following new education reform - CBS News

The police officer who searched for a book in a Great Barrington classroom also used a body camera. The ACLU has ‘deep concerns’ | South Berkshires | berkshireeagle.com
Cedric McClester Feb 2019
By: Cedric McClester

Smoke a blunt?
Somebody's gonna!
Though it ain’t
The same marijuana
That they smoked
Back in the day
So what’s inside it anyway?
Truthfully, it’s hard to say

It might be laced with
Fentanyl
Until you smoked it
How could you tell?
Ya see, it’s properties
Don’t ring a bell
So their affects
Could be hell

And now they rush
To legalize
For the dollars
I’d surmise
Whether, or not
That move is wise
See those who object
Are ostracized

Yet all the evidence
Isn’t in
And that alone
Speaks to the sin
The wise go slow
But fools rush in
So John Q Public
Takes it on the chin








Cedric McClester, Copyright (c) 2019.  All rights reserved.
Jack Jun 2018
Need drugs for my composure just can't seem to stay sober
Need closure to stay sober oh what overexposure
Dilated pupils and blood shot eyes the voices are mean she calls out and cries
Bars of white powder, crisp and cut clean
Coated with fentanyl just not for the eye to  see
A band-aid with a bow tie or a fix with a twist
I can't count the days sober
Oh what overexposure

(C)
Mick Jul 2016
i like to write about the way a bag of fentanyl with a big letter "H" on the front tastes like

i like to write about coming home to my wife crying on the steps as the paramedics drag my best friend's body out of my house

i like remembering the way my heart sounded just like 15 cops pounding on my front door

i can't tell if i'm swallowing back bile or guilt anymore
i can't tell if burning all the needles in my drawer was a sign that i'm moving on or denial of what I've done

i hate thinking about my friend with blue lips
last time i saw him he was snorting back three hundred dollars without blinking
he says he doesn't really get out of bed anymore

I know exactly what he means
Youdont Needthis Jul 2017
A smile is knowing
The dark crease of a well-arched spine
The dewy white lotus petals
The sad title of concubine
The blue glass so plainly beautiful
With its cold smooth sides
A blown vase that sits precious
Atop a dead deer's stretched hide
The hallowed ***** of a portruding illiac
And the decadent crust of a sweet fruit pie

On a black vinyl stage floor
In a room filled with echoing cries
The reverberance loud and hollow
With ears ringing opened wide

The bends of her young tendons
In her ropey pale limbs
They flex and harshly twitch
How a scared and hooked fish swims

The cyclic orbits of planets and lifetimes  
A ballerina's pirouette spins

Now the tarlatan and muslin gets torn to shreds
And the blinding stage lights quickly dim
The wet heat of a hungry tongue
Slaps upon her sweating skin

The audience simply does nothing
Just like the tall plant stalks of the green motel
Or the muddy vines in swamps in Rwanda
Or white wallpaper in the locked rooms of certain hells
The diseases that squirm in tainted waters
Of Liberia's ***** wells
The missing limbs of wartime amputees
Reflected in the golden glint of spent brass shells

Amidst the screams of
NO
STOP
NO
It yells the words
GO
GOD
GO

Through the grinning lips of the manifest destiny
And the arms of Khmer Rouge's killings
Its legs are formed from the many faces of lynch mobs
Its hands are hewn of American prison facilities and county jails
It's dripping deadly doses of fentanyl in local ****** shipments    
And ****** dancers
GO GOD GO GO GOD GO GO GOD GO GO GOD GO GO GOD GO GO GOD GOD GO
Classy J Jan 2017
Why God?
Pray and believe and please don't stray or leave. Stand tall and I know that life isn't grand but it'll be worse if you fall. Build up the church, rebuild your soul and don't focus on the worldly merch. Stay pure and remember when you have Jesus your path will be clear and there will be no fear. Ha-ha what *******, I am sick of all this, I tried religion and it left me in a deeper pit. Does God exist? Yes but does God know I exist? Hmm… Let me meditate on that; ok still not getting anything; where is God when the devil be busting my head over and over with a bat?

On my knees but I’m still getting fees that be stinging my bank account like some devilish bees. Where are you? Do you care, why do you seem so far, I'm at my breaking point and I don't know what to do! Reading the bible, starting to wonder if I’m just reading a bunch of fables. ****** job, ****** relations with both sides of my family, and ****** finances man do you think this hit is funny? Robbed from a normal childhood, bullied everyday, so I coped with it by eating lots of food. My mother taught me about you, made me believe that you were faithful and true. But maybe your no better than Santa or the Easter Bunny, as unhinged as ***** Wonka and oh how I wonder how you can sit up there while the world gets more crummy.

I got an Ill mind like Hopsin, man whatever happened to that jolly green giant, that guy died an reincarnated into a goblin. Stop that talk man because the devil is playing with your head, and stop that morbid talk of wanting to be dead! I used to listen to the 116 clique, because I couldn't stand regular worship or hymns because I found them boring, broad, and basic. I remember listening to guys like Fresh I.E then one day it changed to guys like N.W.A, Wu Tang Clan, and Puff Daddy. Everyday I used to read my bible and I would drag my momma to the holy temple, but now when I'm at church I get taste in my mouth like I took some Fentanyl. Religion is filled with hypocrites and I used to be sold out for God until I got treated like ****. I used to be a unashamed believer and I told everyone about you, but now my once pure heart has been stained and people who claim they know you, really don't know **** about you! I never shoved my belief down no ones throats, and the ones that do will be placed with the other goats.

Believe what you want just don't be a ****! That's all I ask, and it really shouldn't be that hard of a task. Putting all my issues on the table, if only I could go back in time like Cable. Momma told me to not test the Lord, but I'm tired of being choked by the societal cord. Torn between the religious and the secular, and when I die will I gain forgiveness or will I face the demonic tormentor? I don't know I’m just lost and angry and all I need is a boost or push to attain fame and money. I don't sell out, I sell in, all I got told was to get out, so sorry but I have no choice but to dwell in sin!
Jay earnest Aug 2019
I wish my name was Ryan or chase and I had no hobbies or interests outside of smashing hoes and the gym.
I wish I could just eat Panera everyday and drink with my bros and go to Peru with my daddy's money. I wish I had all the connections and sure-set entrance into the firm
I wish I could meet some newage ***** named McKayla with a flower sleeve who listens to imagine dragons and Bobby eilish and have some kids. I wish she'd cheat on me with Kevin and take all my money and then divorce me and accuse me of **** and send me to prison where I get ***** too. I wish my sons grew up to be junkies and overdosed on fentanyl. I wish my country became some culturless ******* devoid of value and meaning and was a consumerist nightmare and I worked like a peon for a bleak future. I wish I knew how to make spaghetti. I'm a ******. I wish I was gay amd cared about Taylor swift or popular media. I wish I had a loaded gun so I could go to the gun range like a normal sane practioner of the second amendment. I wish I could be god and make rainbows. I will stop now. It's so boring
Lol lol lol lol lol
Classy J Jul 2016
South side bouncing in the low rider, why because we out of what is deemed normality going 95, and if you ain't rolling you are not one of our guys. Lets keep this simplified, this is real rap, it came from my pen and pad man, honest talk, I won't ever sell out man. South-side popping up and down, swaying side to side, we aint ashamed fam, this the real deal that we promise we'll never hide. Yeah, southern vibe, kicking it right, spitting fire, getting you caught up in a tangled wire, yeah we will never tire. Tripping, best keep your distance, cause in this very instance, I might just have you on my hit list, what is this, a game of chance? Nah man it's a game of change, bumping to a movement that is strange, in the rap game to provoke real change. I am not the same, please do not call me names, boy do not disturb that which has not been tamed. I am insane, your in my lane, stop thinking that we are the same, this is not a game, you couldn't handle my fame. Keep your distance, and i'll keep mine, have no clue where i'm going, i'm just following all the signs. Fast life, flashing lights, pulling over, and being a coloured man you know it's going to be a fight. ***** cops, misusing their power to beat us, what did we ever do to have them mistreat us. South-side, pain in the streets, government not doing nothing, and no one is willing to stand up on their feet. What can one man do, what can words really say, how can the minority have their way. Shady system, why is society so grey, and how did I get myself caught up in the fray. Swept off my feet, it's like life was Katrina, facing all these fiends, and I don't know if I can battle all these ravenous hyena's. Need a cleaner, feeling as helpless as a llama, just keep munching on a bunch of grass, man I can't wait to be done with all this melodrama. Free will, free speech, where are the Ghandi's and Martin Luther King's, maybe it's because people are to focused on tablet screens and buying shiny rings. This is not common, putting my self in the songs man, chilling out and munching on some ramen. Their is no controlling or consoling angered people who can't stand seeing more race issues brought up, you think this would've ended long ago but it's still blowing up. Rolling up, spilling up, the tension is growing, and i can no longer shut up. Dropping bodies, fentanyl getting put into drugs man, taking lives everywhere, where can i rally up a lobby. Hear ye, hear ye, I know things are looking dreary, and you may be get teary, but never the less we move forward and never fear what may be. It maybe what it is, so one day the south side may no longer be a place to live, strolling along wondering if their is a point to wanting to live. South side, can no longer escape life by getting high or drunk, before I can clean the world I must clean out my life's junk.  I want to be able to be adept at building up a community and a family one day, lord have mercy on us, not just for the south side, but for the world because we need some help today. Just the other day some cops shot an innocent black male named Alton Sterling, oh man it happened again, I thought they would have learned after ferguson but then again people still think Canadians live in igloo's, and I wonder about what the hell these kids are learning. I think these misconceptions must stop, staying ignorant will only lead people to keep on being killed and not every cop is a bad cop. So yes some po-po's can be brutal and should be kept in check, but they human to, i know it's not a good excuse but we should not be quick to give all them heck. Violence begets violence, doesn't solve anything man, it just creates more animosity and having innocents keep on dying, and I believe we can resolve it without meaningless busting because i said before it will only lead to more people crying. Authentic sounding south side, this is what I think about as i ride along, it's time to love and accept one another and then move on.
Denis Barter Apr 2018
My clothes are in tatters;
my shoes down at heel,
I’ve no wealth that matters,
to eat, I oft steal!
Beset by illusions:
as to what I desire,
I suffer delusions,
from drugs I acquire!

I pan handle all day,
from folks passing by.
“I’ve nothing to eat,”
is my plaintive cry!
Some drop a few cents,
into my battered tin cup,
which buys little more,
than a coffee to sup!

My bed is a grating,
that’s warming and dry,
where I often get cursed,
from thugs walking by!
When the day is over,
and night settles in,
I scavenge the ‘skips’
in hopes there’s food within!

Should someone stop,
in their passing by,
I tell them my story,
in hopes I can pry
a ****** or two:
or a Five now and then.
Whilst on rare occasions,
I’ll garner a Ten!

Winter nights are sheer hell,
when it’s bitter cold:
such times I oft wonder
if I’ll ever grow old?
That’s when I hope folks
from the Sally Ann -
those saints in disguise,
will pass by if they can,

to provide me some food,
and shelter as well.
They display a compassion
that I know full well.
For those down on their luck:
and in dire need of care,
the Sally Ann folks,
are the first to be there.

You’re nothing but ****,
so many folks will say,
but there once was a time,
a long ago day,
when I was both healthy,
and fit, and living well.
Until my life fell apart,
and soon days were a hell!

Being quite unknowing
that a legal prescription
would proceed to grow
into a serious addiction!
Though relieving my pain,
I found out too late
the cause was due to
Fentanyl, an ******!

Being badly hooked
on ****** drugs,
and needing more,
found a dealer - through thugs,
who offered supplies
for my addictive vice
with no questions asked,
at an outrageous price!

Then matters grew worse
from that fateful day.
Though begun unknowing,
twas the price I’d pay,
which proved to be
a pernicious dependency!
Which because of its hold
changed my destiny!

Wanting nothing of me,
my friends and close kin,
pass without saying Hi,
nor knowing how I am within
they cross  the road,
to avoid our meeting!
Deaf to my every cry
of familial greeting!

I ask  them for nothing,
neither water nor bread!
Ere I’d ask them for help,
I prefer to be dead!
They took what they liked,
when my life went awry,
and often stated
is their hope I will die!

Being strong and doughty,
with a yen to survive,
I may be cold and hungry,
but I’m still much alive.
You may think me a wastrel,
the poorest of poor,
but the tide has turned:
and my addiction’s no more!

It’s thanks for help given,
I’m back on my feet:
having kicked the habit:
my recovery’s complete.
I’m back with the living,
and life is again great,
and I’ve no further need,
for the deadly ******!

To kin folk, I’ve said naught,
as to how life has changed
but I doubt they care
until words are exchanged!
For now I remain silent
until I deem the time right,
and when I’m ready to tell,
imagine my delight,

when with incredulous looks,
it’s not of my demise
they will be hearing
but of my return! A surprise
in truth!  What a pleasure
I’ll get to tell all,
I’m back home to live,
and it’s no social call!

The house is in my name,
so I’ve an Owner’s right,
to come and go at will,
be it day or night.
I’m free to invite,
whomsoever I choose,
I’ll rise when I wish,
or lie in and snooze!

As for my family wishes?
I’ll pay them no heed.
Their made their thoughts clear
when they denied my need!
Yes, the road I’d taken,
was the short cut to Hell!
But they offered nothing
to help me get well!

This curse of mankind,
can be conquered and cured.
Prompt actions save lives,
and you can be assured
every addict who craves,
be they man or maid,
is a Soul in need,
that is seeking your aid!

A passing glance, shows naught!
It’s the spirit inside,
that having beaten addiction,
sees us walking with pride!
Once this curse is vanquished,
and drugs are eschewed
you’ll receive sincere thanks,
for the life that’s renewed!

So judge not the homeless,
without knowing reasons why?
More so when someone loved,
is desperate to die!
When help is requested,
don’t turn your cheek,
but stop and ask questions,
as to what they seek?

It’s not for your pity
the homeless plead,
but for a compassionate,
recognition of their need!
After a prescription written.
Many become hooked
when pain killer effects,
are overlooked!

Rhymer. April 21st, 2018.
A B Perales Sep 2017
It takes the obvious things like happiness a career,the trust they had in you and the hopes you had for yourself .

Then the girl and in time several girls all of whom tried to live with your madness.

Then you crash the car, lose the house and end up hiding from the world in cheap multi unit apartment building.
And you never answer the door or the telephone unless it's your guy calling to bring you more.

Less light and more fire.
Everything looks less depressing by candle light.
The AC broke down a year ago.
Open windows keep the air free from anxiety.

Your loved ones become bitter at the thought of you while your friends , the real ones now act as if those memories you shared and those fights you fought were all just in passing.
The friendship is no longer there.

Sunshine and social settings are two things
you do all you can to avoid.

Cops know you by your name and street people now call you 'Brother' even though you have a home.

Somewhere in those years your *** life had died and no one ever bothered inviting you to the funeral.
You know it's the Devil when it causes you to forget about having something you spent years lusting over and partaking in at every given chance with just about any given girl .  

The poppy I speak of only with respect.
The Dragon and the chasing has almost ran its course.
The lazy Monkey and my aching spine.
The Fentanyl and the Suboxone.
The crying jail cell walls and the ***** on the floor.
The scars and the death of another .
The years all wasted and the girl who no longer thinks of you .

It took all I had I have nothing left to give.
Andie Mar 2019
"7 to 9 hours of sleep"
You got me thinking in dreams
I'm still working on my mental health journey
I don't know where I'm going but there's a mountain range or an ocean in view
My life is vertical with vertigo and
I need a horizon
It makes me feel small
I like to make myself small and my problems smaller with me
But truth is my problems are too big for my body
They come bursting out in the form of suicidal ramblings or makeshift insomnia
To match my makeshift happiness
Fake it till you make it
I tell my brain to make and bake more dopamine or serotonin
Help me out
I'll take it artificially manufactured
It's the fentanyl of happiness
But there's something about the artificial flavors that is raw and real to myself
The fundip powder stuck to my fingers
I crave childhood and I don't know if it was taken from me
My sweet tooth remains
And I continue to crave
February 2019
Mike Hauser Nov 2018
I've seen them come
I've seen them go
I've seen the needle
Take another soul
I've seen the vacuum
I've seen the hole
I've seen things
I'd rather not know

I've seen them beg
I've seen them cry
I've seen them lose
I've seen them die
I've seen broken mothers
Wonder why
I've seen it all
Through tear-filled eyes

I've seen the needle
I've seen the cost
I've seen it all
Through thickened walls
I've seen men when
They take the fall
Get up again
Then do more

I've seen them do
Without a doubt
I've seen them cut
Their clientele
Treat them worse
Then they would a dog
Send them to hell
With Fentanyl

I've seen them come
I've seen them go
I've seen them beg
For another dose
And when there's nothing
Left to own
I've seen them die
All alone
Sketcher Jun 2019
Hey, it’s been a while, nice to see yuh,
I didn’t think that due time I’d have to greet yuh,
It’s been three years, 2 months, and a day,
Now I’m feeling speechless and I don’t know what to say,
You came around the corner so ******* fast,
An immediate blow to the head and blast to the ***,
I wish you didn’t have the ***** to come back around,
I’d lost you for a while, but now you’ve been found,
Found under the influence, influenced underground,
Away from the police, so I pop at least a pound,
Of fentanyl, morphine, ******, and coke,
I mean, “Please don’t come for me, this is all a joke”,
If they ask if I want some, I always say nope,
Deadliest drug I ever did was dope,
I didn’t even use the **** **** to cope,
I hated the feeling and hated the smoke,
I used the stuff to sit a socialize,
And I despised my girl smoking with other guys,
I am selfish and constantly jealous,
She would be confused, sit me down and say “Tell us...”,
“Tell us why it pains you to see me this way”,
I said, “Girl, it’s destroying your lungs every day”,
So I stopped using and she kept going,
With guys and girls with or without knowing,
If she is safe and indoors or scared and outside,
Either way I’m worrying with fears like the tide,
Not as intense during day, but insane during night,
I was manipulative and stupid one day,
I asked her choose between smoking and me,
She made me cry and chose the ****,
So now I’m stuck up high in a tree,
Contemplating suicide and for some reason you’re here,
Meeting me again and telling all my fears,
That I’m a ***** and I dont deserve,
This life and it’s glory, man, you have the nerve,
That I had to ask the stupid question,
That ended it all and let’s not even mention,
That she was attracted to every other guy,
And said it was normal and constantly lied,
Depression is back, that is your name, right?,
Been a while old friend, I don’t think I’ll fight,
I’ll let you take over once again,
I think you and I could be pretty good friends.
Cedric McClester Nov 2019
By: Cedric McClester

If not for the pills
Doctors once prescribed
The musician Prince
Might still be alive
Along with others who
Sought similar relief
Because their stories too
Ended in grief

If not for the greed
On Big Pharma’s part
The opioid epidemic
Right from the start
Might not have grown
To epic proportions
Because of ignorance
And outright distortions

If not for the relaxed
Government regulations
We might not now
Be at our battle stations
Trying to reverse
What’s sweeping our nation
Because opioids doesn’t
Go on vacation

If not for the prevalence
Of the fentanyl drug
And its purveyors
Who are typically smug
Then we might not have
Gotten mugged
In the way that we have
By this deadly drug


            Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2019.  All rights reserved.
Phoenix Rising Jan 2021
staying sober is so ******* hard
and i can't ever seem to get clean.
i can go for a week tops and then it's a huge ******. i wish it were easy, i wish i wanted to be clean...but honestly it feels so ******* good and i have zero regards for anyone i hurt in the process. i dont know how to conquer this disease. it's killed me once and it almost killed me a second time and i only used more after. what do i do? rehab ******, 12 steps ****, my sponsor ******. ****. i wont last forever if i keep using, because i fell in love with fentanyl.
ConnectHook Jun 2020
The deceased, at the time of his death
Contained fentanyl traces, and ****.
Yes, his death was unjust.
Raise a fist, if you must...
for St. George has now breathed his last breath.
"I can't breathe"
Cedric McClester Jun 2019
Cedric McClester

Smoke a blunt?
Somebody's gonna!
Though it ain’t
The same marijuana
That they smoked
Back in the day
So what’s inside of it anyway?
Truthfully, it’s hard to say

It might be laced with
Fentanyl
Until you smoked it
How could you tell?
Ya see, it’s properties
Don’t ring a bell
So their affects
Could be hell

And now they rush
To legalize 
For the dollars
I’d surmise 
Whether, or not
That move is wise
See those who object
Are criticized

Yet all the evidence
Isn’t in
And that alone
Speaks to the sin
The wise won’t go
But fools rush in
So John Q Public
Takes it on the chin












Cedric McClester, Copyright (c) 2019. All rights reserved.
just jabbering gibberish (A - I)

Again, another awkward ambitious
arduous attempt at alphabetically
arranging atrociously ambiguously
absolutely asinine avoidable alliteration.

Because...? Basically bonafide belching,
bobbing, bumbling, bohemian beastie boy,
bereft ******, bleeds blasé blues, begetting
bloviated boilerplate bildungsroman,
boasting bougainvillea background.

Civil, clever clover chomping, cheap
chipper cool cutthroat clueless clodhopper,
chafed centenary, codifies communication
cryptically, challenging capable, certifiably
cheerful college coed.

Divine dapper daredevil, deft, destitute,
doddering, dorky dude, dummkopf Dagwood
descendent, dagnabbit, demands daring
dedicated doodling, dubious, dynamite,

deaf dwarf, diehard doppelganger, Doctor
Demento double, declaring depraved
daffy dis(pense)able dufus Donald Duck
derailed democracy devastatingly defunct.

Eccentric, edified English exile,
effervescent, elementary, echinoderm
eating egghead, Earthling, excretes,
etches, *******, effortless exceptional
emphatic effluvium enraging eminent,

eschatologically entranced, elongated
elasmobranchii, emerald eyed Ebenezer,
effectively experiments, emulates epochal
eczema epidemic, elevating, escalating,
exaggerating enmity, enduring exhausting
emphysema.

Freed fentanyl fueled, fickle figurative
flippant fiddler, fiendishly filmy, fishy,
fluke, flamboyantly frivolous, fictitious,
felonious, fallacious, fabulously fatalistic,
flabbergasted, fettered, flustered, facile,
faceless, feckless, financially forked,

foregone, forlorn futile fulsome, freckled
feverish, foo fighting, faulty, freezing,
fleeting famously failing forecaster, flubs
"FAKE" fundamental fibber fiat, fabricating
fiery fissile fractured fios faculties.

Gamesomeness goads gawky, gingerly,
goofily graceful, grandiloquent gent, gallant,
genteel, geico, guppy gecko, gabbling gaffes,
gagging, gamboling, gestating, gesticulating,
garlic, gnashing, gobbling, gyrating,

gruesomely grinning, grappling, gnomadic
giggly, grubby, gastrointestinally grumpy
gewgaw gazing guy, geographically germane,
gungho, grave gremlin, grumbling, guiding,
guaranteeing, guerilla gripped gatling guns
ginning gumpshun.

Hello! Herewith halfway harmless hazmat,
haphazard haggard, hectored, hastily,
hurriedly, harriedly hammered, handsomely
hackneyed, heady, hellbent hillbilly, hirsute,
hidden hippie, huffy humanoid, hexed, heady,
Hellenistic, holistic, hermetic, hedonistic
heterosexual **** sapiens historical heirloom,
homeless, hopeful, holy, hee haw heretical hobo.

Indefatigable, iconographic, iconic, idealistic,
idyllic, inimitable, idiosyncratic, ineffable,
irreverently issuing idiotic, indifferent, inert,
ineffectual, ingeniously iniquitous, immaterial,
insignificant, indubitable, inexplicable, ignoble
itches, ineffectually illustriously illuminating
immovable infused ichthyosaurus implanted
inside igneous intrusions immensely
imperturbable improbable.
melinoe immortal Jul 2018
No fentanyl, midazolam or propofol.
Operation: childhood destruction using
non- sterile gloves.
Removal of parts of the brain and heart,
septic nightmares infect the mind.
   The body shivers, loses control.
Gangrene of the soul.

Antiseptic, aromatic soap,
scraping the epidermal dirt.  
  Scratching so hard, unable
to get rid of the hurt.

Happiness decapitated,
enters the cemetery gates
pointing with her morphine-coated fingers
to her tomb.
Chronic torture and no remorse.
A pre-meditated ****** of dreams and hopes.

— The End —