"controling" poems
I care for you,
Because i love you.
I care for you,
Because i dont want anything bad to happen to you.
I care for you,
Because you are very essential to me.
I care for you,
Because i dont want to lose you.
But being too caring,
Becomes controling.
Becomes overprotective.
Becomes overthinking.
Becomes overreacting.
But be worried.
When they start to not give a **** about you,
Everything is gone.
Because i did.
Jun 16, 2015
Jun 16, 2015 at 1:21 PM UTC
Doctor O doctor.
Can you treat me?
This aweful mind refuses to greet me!
I'v been having trouble controling my thoughts.
Outbursts of creativity and crazy wandering thoughts.
I have work to do and need to concentrate!
But these wandering thoughts have me on stalemate.
The thoughts go here and the mind goes there,
They do not seem to coincide anywhere.
Doctor O doctor can you help me?
Bring these thoughts into order,
and let this mind be.
It concentrates of war,
it concentrates on pain.
None of which have any prospect of gain.
It concentrates on hate,
and the ever growing weight,
Of the population that refuses to wait.
No tollerance or patience,
No thoughts on moulding this nation.
Just fights on rights,
And pointing fingers with might!
No one looks at their duties,
Or the subtle beauties.
Beauty of diversity, and the numerous entities.
That form our great nation.
All it need is unadulterated devotion.
I have work to do and need to concentrate!
But these wandering thoughts have me on stalemate.
The thoughts go here and the mind goes there,
They do not seem to coincide anywhere.
Doctor O doctor can you help me?
Bring these thoughts into order,
and let this mind be.
Apr 15, 2013
Apr 15, 2013 at 10:21 AM UTC
who is it in the mirror that i see,
the one staring back at me?
the monster
who is the one inside my mind,
controling my movements at all times?
the demon
whats left of the lost ones soul,
the one who got left in the deep hole?
the darkness
where do you go when no ones left,
when everyone decided you were a waste of breath?
hell
Feb 29, 2012
Feb 29, 2012 at 11:09 PM UTC
There's three ways of fighting.
Agressive-Using attacks and offensive maneuvers.
Defensive-Blocking and deflecting attacks.
Controling-Using your enemy's attacks and defenses against themselves while not aggressively attacking them nor defending against their attacks.
Aug 1, 2018
Aug 1, 2018 at 2:39 AM UTC
Demons
Kind of devels
Ghosts of hell
Controling the bell
Drugged, undercover
the soul of whisperers
Black angel with dark blue
Real astonish eyes
Sun rises , he's gone
Sun goes , he's here
Timeless
Searching special blood
From people slained rudely
That's his awful way
To show emotions
The glory of respect
Feb 25, 2014
Feb 25, 2014 at 2:51 PM UTC
Welcome to the Federal Emergency Management Agency
Crowd controling
↑Exit here safely
Caution conscious doors open abruptly
Please do not block the doors pathway
Where have i drove?
I think i made a wrong turn back on Bohemian Grove
Disabled to able let yourself wake up
Embedded ability of endless disabilities
Another general relief grief
Do not pay attention to me
Be aware and beware when the wilderness cries
The ground breaks caused by earthquakes
Your life spins away for tornado sake
No i dont hold ******* to melts your hearts pain
No i dont have marijuana so you can procrastinate
No i aint got opiates for your appropriate dosage
Say goodbye to anxiety we've made our arrival to sobriety
Interviews and insights of inside lies
Secret mysteries of the practices of Freemasonry
Symbol revealing ritual deceiving
Alternate aura while i talk at my altar
Trespass into my chamber of reflecting
The body of a text in order to preserve its meaning
Take forth my poetry of conspiracies
Note the noetic scientific technique
The attempts to extend your human abilities with a little parapsychology
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015 at 5:28 PM UTC
I looked for love inside your eyes.
What I saw almost made me blind.
I saw a stranger.
He was cold, distant, evil, and revolting.
I looked for love inside your eyes.
Who am I that you are unable to make love to me?
Why do I feel as if I am not here with you?
Do I matter?
I am just a toy in this filthy play.
Not a human worth of tender and devotion.
Where are you?
How did I lose you?
As the years pass by
The monster inside your eyes becomes clearer to me.
You think I am just over reacting.
How can I warm to eyes that are making hate to someone else instead of making love to me.
I've found where you are.
I've seen the pictures.
As graphic as can be.
I now know what i takes to turn you on.
Women....people like me.
Tortured, humiliated,used and hated.
All these images burned into your brain.
Did you ever imagine (at age 12)
The first time your seen a ****** photo.
That you were dooming every aspect of intimacy.
Breaking the heart of someone you'd love.
If it all stopped here.
I could bear it.
Instead you brought the evil in and continued to feed it.
As I looked for love inside your eyes.
Hands printed, hair pulled
Looking the age of thirteen years old.
A simple photo
A simple video
Controling reality, distorting the woman in exaggerated *******
As I looked for love inside your eyes.
The evil eyes
Windows of a broken soul.
Warped by the lens into the background of your phone.
Souls never matter
Only bodies do
To those me. Who consume it (just like you)
A image burned inside your brain.
A image I see everytime I close my eyes.
When does it end?
I can tell you this.
It has not ended.
It has eaten you up.
It spreads like cancer.
Can you feed off of hatred and anger?
Can you break free and learn to love?
You say words.
Just full of excuses.
Feeding your soul on poisen.
If only you could see what I see.
If only you could feel what I feel.
**** has destroyed our relationship.
Tell me.
Was it worth it??
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 3:30 AM UTC
I am sick
Not even the dogs fighting and playing
Gets me laughing anymore
I'm a slave to each breath
Controling each inhale
My hands with cuts on the fingers
The wind blows outside
But its quiet and I'm warm
Each bass line is a nuclear meltdown
Your lyrics come straight from the back of
pill bottles
It's a dream
Wide awake
The soft ache
At the base of my skull
And the point of light
Just a lamp to the right
Glows like the sun in my room
I shut it off
And lie in the dark
I listen to the shifting of the wind outside
And repeat Bible verses
As easy as reading them from the page
Theyre all the rage when I'm losing my mind
The last little bit of mind I have left
I recite First Kings under my breath
David Bowie threw me to space
And now its a race against time
A race against life
To see how long it will take me to lose my mind
I admit I have a problem
Called being bored as ****
Aug 14, 2012
Aug 14, 2012 at 12:24 AM UTC
under the aparent darkness,
the nacar red of your lips
give me ligth.
between the tender and quiet
kisses of fire, you absorved
my darkness
there was no magic, it was
just that, two dark beings
absorving ligth.
a beast with a loewe head,
desolated, tormented, for
his pain.
between the lost and desdain,
and with desire sticked
to his skin.
the ligth in absolut darkness,
years looking that skin of silk,
those lips sweet as honney.
the silky and perfumated lips,
of a beautiful shadow, a lioness
in the dark.
and who will know, only darkness,
about that silk skin, that give ligth,
in a dark nigth.
a loewe, the lost descendant,
looking the way, and to that silk skin,
of honey gold and fire.
a lion lost in shadows, looking that
skin, that as divine grace, or gifth
of friendly gods.
found me, catch and love me
in the shadows, rigth before dawn,
giving life to the blackened heart.
and the flux of life, of strength,
to resist mi strokes, controling
herself tenderly.
never scared of my roarings,
only the beautiful fire, she give me,
with her nacar red lips.
her femmale lips, a beast, beautiful
with her skin of silk, perfumated and
HERMOSA, A MUSE IN THE SHADOW.
tenderly resisting to the attacks of a
beast, thirsty of her, her *** her blood, kissing
her skin inch by inch.
the HERMOSA shadow, with silk skin,
and nacar red lips, resist even thou, she
wanted to lay next to this beast
thirsty of her, her body, her etternal legs,
her *** of MUJER HERMOSA,
the beautiful and sweet lioness, that was mine
in absolut darkness..
Dec 10, 2015
Dec 10, 2015 at 2:06 AM UTC
Has this become my life?
Writing poems that few people take their time to read
Looking at the walls, windows, and shadows hoping to see light
Waiting to have a social life again
Has this become my life?
Waiting anxiously for a friend to call or text
Knowing that I can only count them with one hand
One hand because there are restrictions set upon my life
Has this become my life?
Talking to thyself in the middle of the living room
Listening to music and thinking of what could have been
Looking at thyself in the mirror and controling the tears
Painting my face with no ocation just because I'm bored
Has this become my life?
Overthinking each past situation
Realizing every mistake with agony
Looking at the sky and screaming why
Has this become my life?
Whispering to myself that it's all gonna be okay
Meanwhile listening to others enjoying the outside
Trying to be better in a bubble
Being judged by every single present mistake or action
Has this become my life?
Being the center of attention at home
Driving to doctors here and there, there and here
Getting labs done every once in a while
Has this become my life?
My entire future lying in the hands of others
Proffessionals determining which pills I should pop
Parents restricting my social life
Listening to every opinion of what I should do with my life
Has this become my life?
Bursting into tears in my mothers arms
Accepting only professionals and mom to unburden me
Denying help from others because the anger exceeds the forgivenes
Has this become my life?
YES.
Jul 15, 2016
Jul 15, 2016 at 9:05 PM UTC
Aggravating ways; selfish means
So beguiling that childish fiend
A ****** war, no one sees
Evil villian from far beneath
Manufacturing wounds, ripping flesh
Just to prove who's the best
A soul swimming in a crimson pool
Controling the body; taking rule
A calming anidote, the music plays
Claiming no one's perfect, ha! so cliche
Searching for the lost soul under your bed,
There's no monsters, so our parents said
Some find monsters in their mirror
Watching there makeup slowly smear
Others find them in their surpressed memories
The slight releif released by their screams
Maybe it's been quite a while
Since you've seen her beautiful smile
Maybe a few years have passed
Before someone wondered, before they asked
But under his sleeves lie his scars
They give proof of his pain, beautiful is what they are
Both she and him are self conscious about their weight
Both of them live in fear, live in hate
Maybe some haven't seen a mosnter inside their closet
But felt demons demolishing what's left
It'll fumbles around inside their chest
Some people you just wouldn't expect
Because maybe their wrists have already been checked
But did you ever think maybe her demons are smarter than you
Have you ever felt there presence, then you'd know they're cruel
And what if he were to drag a blade across his wrists
Or maybe his thighs, he only does it to know he exists
As her barriers build higher, and cloud up her eyes
The wounds get deeper, the blood flowing onto her thighs
How do you expect flames to bring him pain
When he's living in hell, a blazing shame
Throughout the day, they'll hide the pain away
It'll seem like everytings fine, like it's okay
Don't be swindled, don't be be a fool
One day you might meet this monster too
Feb 5, 2014
Feb 5, 2014 at 10:01 AM UTC
Declaration of illness
Feeding the korn
Seeking for hatred
Deny you were born
Consoling the madness
Refusing the love
Being a person
You know nothing of
Condemning the faithfull
Controling the truth
Dementing the sanity
Jump from a roof
Return from the happy
Consumed by the sad
Hiding the good
Libirating the bad
Serounded by darkness
Protesting the light
Retreting from goodness
Put up a fight
Surviving the rightiousness
Leading to just
Depriving the evil
From hate... I must.
Mar 27, 2012
Mar 27, 2012 at 4:39 PM UTC
your actions dont match what you preach
in fact its the god **** opposite....
where is this "love" you constantly talk about?
where is the "grace" you say we are suppose to show?
you wonder why were not like a family?....because of hurtful words like those...
you play your act well up front but behind the scenes you falsely accuse others..
yet your a leader in church?
you speak of love and hope yet you show others no grace!
you tell others to be kind and gentle yet you shove darts by my ears and hold me by my throat
who are you to judge?
who are you to be a leader?
this is why i go to judah praise... this is why i struggle going back every time... this is why its hard to get involved because everytime i try they dont need me, why? because im just some messed up teenager.
stop thinking of me like that!
stop putting these labels on me, it hurts!
and STOP EXPECTING ME TO MESS UP!
i thought this was a hopspital for the sinners... not a party for the saints?
God....
i dont wanna play church anymore!
i am serious about my passion for god! but stop pushing me aside.... telling me im worthless...
you do so much to just get the show ready your forgetting that gods not in the picture its you controling it.... dont you realize worship is more than just reading a sheet of music?
dont you see?
you spend so much time practicing and practicing, its just to performance oriented for me..
it may work for some but not for me... i just want to be FREE! is that so much to ask? is anyone just FREE anymore??
i dont see it... not here..
who are you to bash my fathers name!
you dont even know him! all you know of him is what you think you know and what you go on gossiping to others after service!
you dont know what my fathers been through!
hes the only one who still keeps me going!
hes the only one who understands me and will acturally listen to me!
do you not understand that?
why does this happen in church?
Feb 10, 2013
Feb 10, 2013 at 11:12 PM UTC
Things you hear everyday of your life, can cause a flashback. Some good, but some are not what you want to see again. Flashbacks for me are rarely ever good. I close my eyes, and not only can I see the fear, I hear it to. I hear my screams of fear, I hear my cry for help, but nobody else can. My screams of fear are desperate because I'm being hurt. My screams of fear are terrifying, I try to open my eyes to get away from this terrifying nightmare, but my mind will not allow it. My mind controls me instead of me controling it. My screams of fear are finally gone. I open my eyes as if I had been dreaming, but this was no dream. It was a memory, a terrifying memory, it is and was and will forever always be my screams of fear.
Jan 13, 2011
Jan 13, 2011 at 8:39 AM UTC
for The Masked Pimpernel
~~~
the body is breached,
gums bleed, tongue bitter bitten
skin eruptions sequence
as if markers on the Appalachian trail,
the nose runs cold and wet,
forming edifying rapids
when tears-as-big-as-raindrops tonic-mix in
ashes of rashes,
cuts, all self-inflicted,
but from the inside out,
intersect like a crossword puzzle
across my chest
every orifice, even the ears,
demand their day of aperture,
overseeing the in and the outflows,
controling the vertical, the horizontal,
demanding the outer limits be opened
if just for a day...
*so so many poems attempting to escape,
all at once,
here I, bedridden lay,
astonished, for I have just
awoken*
Jul 26, 2015
Jul 26, 2015 at 10:35 AM UTC
She's walking,
listening,
forgetting,
remembering,
all she's ever known.
She's looking,
up,
above,
below,
all around where she stands.
She's falling,
crying,
smiling,
dieing,
feeling so very alone.
This world,
empty,
full,
uncertain,
the words are out of reach.
His words,
circle,
hold,
break,
her down until she is nothing.
His eyes,
bright,
colourful,
mysterious,
have never caprutred her quite like this.
She's staring,
up,
down,
around,
the bright blue sky.
She's thinking,
remembering,
forgetting,
contemplating,
everything and nothing all at once.
It's life,
uncertainty,
circling,
running,
and she's trying to keep up.
Her past,
fast,
running,
controling,
everything she is today.
But she's learning,
and she's falling.
But she's picking herself up,
with his words close inside.
She's working on herself,
a new girl.
She's her own person now,
everything she's ever know.
She's leaving it behind,
but it's still there.
She's thinking about it,
but it will control her no more.
She's walking,
looking,
up,
around,
thinking of all that's gone wrong.
She's smiling,
thinking,
remembering,
reliving,
all the moments she will never forget.
She's living,
new,
life,
happiness,
and she's moving on...
Aug 14, 2010
Aug 14, 2010 at 9:58 AM UTC
My parents are...
Ok
Annoying
Strict
Loving
Kind
The best they can be
But sometimes it is not enough
Sometimes I need my friends
My friends are...
Ok
Annoying
Controling
Loving
Loyal
The best they can be
But sometimes it is not enough
Sometimes I need my siblings
My siblings are...
Ok
Annoying
Jerks
Loving
Loyal
The best they can be
But sometimes it is too much
Sometimes I need my space
May 13, 2020
May 13, 2020 at 6:23 PM UTC
Her golden hair, her eyes were wide and her ears were open
I'm going to tell you she was a beauty
A magnificient vacation from your walls of pressure and hatred
A nice getaway in your moments of need
But only when you saw that your needs needed to be met. You thought to say hello, and stop by for a while.
She was still listening with her ears open, eyes wider, legs apart when she sat, and hair golden as the sun.
Only when she wasnt looking you looked for another vacation in an abandoned warehouse where you could easily store away the evidence.
Her hair was always in her face, but after you learned the shape of her hand, you painted it along side your hip, as she swayed back and forth she started to see the smoke in your eyes.
Her eyes squinted, her hair was a little bit frizzy, and her body was stiffer.
She smelt a different vacation on his back.
She started to feel his hand slide down her - she obliged as she turned her cheek to the wall
Days turned into storms their little island was beginning to sink
She was Circulating, desperately trying to decode him - but she felt the concrete thicken her stance.
The mirror yelled at her thighs and she started to cut her plates in half
The mirror yelled at her hair so she dyed it in black
The mirror yelled at her eyes so she drenched them in black
The next morning her nightmere wasnt gone she saw him and he saw her
He was confused but she was more so.
He looked at her, without a single word pushed her in his car
He legs were so locked together he had to get a wrench to pry them open, her eyes lifeless, her hair fried with chemicals - with this gaunt, lifeless, hallow expression she felt numb to the bone, but be was in paradise.
The prickles were stabs to her, his body was suffocating hers - she was paralyzed. He was controling everything he was shocking her body.
"Get off!" "Stop please Stop!" She screamed for mercy and with every gulp, fear surged through her body. His paradise was transforming into a tornado - he tried to lock her away in the basement. He put her hands over her mouth "Shhhh keep quiet, just let the storm blow over."
She could feel his pulse, aggression was what the smoke was made out of.
He contained her
Silenced Her
And after he broke through, and completed
She started to weep, and he fell on top of her.
When she woke up, she got out of the car, walked to the ocean
She saw a tiny little island
Closed her eyes
Dove in, and forever there may she stay.
Nov 9, 2015
Nov 9, 2015 at 1:09 PM UTC
I'm just dizzy.
Spinning like a ferris wheel at roller coaster speed I'm spinning faster faster faster and there you are and there you aren't I need you but you aren't here anymore you won't be you never will be were you ever? Swirling tornado shake me up a little more and maybe I'll spin right out of this mess and roll out like a red carpet affair and be ready for you. Be ready like laced shoes at your doorframe or my pillow bed of feathers and love and our scent but no. my load isn't done washing and don't try to set me out to dry because the soap in my pockets of skin will only leave my skin dry to snap crackle pop and blister in these dangerous days of blazing candles over head and new and old lovers hiding in every shaded nestled spot where the wax is still hot but the candle fire doesn't quite reach just like you haven't quite reached me where I'm up here climbing so high limb by branch by twig by peg by hole in the wall that gets me higher and higher but stop spinning me in this silo so I can get down and put my feet on the ground I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't want to fly yet I told you I did but I wasn't finished as a caterpillar down here but then everything seemed so catatonic no shoes by the doorframe no air or candles or paths just swirls and spins and tossing our places we shared and turning our intimate moments paired and twirling it like a ball on my finger tip to show off my talent of controling a situation that not so secretly is controling me puppet your way over here my dear the strings attached and so easily they enjoy the shame and the selfish beast at feeding time where it doesn't matter anything but territory and well you crosed mine so I clawed and bit at yours thrashing like an animal sickly enjoying everything I used to fear and becoming a monster slowly inside. Brewing and boiling up from these candles and spinning too abrupt stop mixing the concoction before it's done don't let me be done don't let my fumes out they're toxic and yet you lock yourself inside the garage of myself and rather suffocate you take me in with each inhale and each exhale I'm no longer. I come in and transfer to dissipate and find nothing but small particles of myself foggy in air too small to do anything like the ant in the treed army of grasslettes. You just don't get it but I don't either. I don't know if I ever will.
Jan 20, 2011
Jan 20, 2011 at 5:33 PM UTC
-
a girl, an average teenager
falls in love with a boy
parents dissagree -bittersweet-
a new idea is developed in the science
of the brain and controling it
needing test dumbies, scientists set out
the girls parents, use her, for money or whatever
by this time, the girl has depression
but still loves her boy
her parents enrol her as a test subject
scientist with new ideas
drugs are used, she's put to sleep
a year she sleeps through
a whole year of testing
scientist experiment on her brain -gruesome-
the scientist believe they've fixed the girls
depression, anxiety, and she no longer
remembers her boy
upon her arival home
with a fresh deleted brain information
no memories, nothing
she finds a phone number on her table
calls it
on the other end, a boy, her old boyfriend
the one she had, before her memory was erased
they meet
and she falls in love with him again
fresh memories of love, with the same boy
-completely baised on a true story-
true love exists
Jul 8, 2013
Jul 8, 2013 at 3:40 AM UTC
Monsters live where they make their bed/
Controling you while living in your head/
And some befriend you and help/
While the others want you to suffer 'til you're dead/
The monster is your own mind/
It's your subconscious, you're bound/
Behind every decision/
With astounding precision, its work is found/
Puppeteer in the shadows of the mind/
It's your instinct, making you blind/
In its grasp is your emotions/
While its master plan is being alined/
You wouldn't know what it seeks/
Our down fall or rising to our peaks/
Friend or foe, ally or enemy/
You're powerless against it, so to speak/
So enjoy the ride while it lasts/
And let go of your past/
Live in the moment, be happy/
The possibilities are vast/
Jun 11, 2019
Jun 11, 2019 at 6:03 AM UTC
and I don't want to
but I let you anyway
and I don't want to
but I beg for our lives
together
and I don't want to
and all I do is be with you
and I love you
but our love is all over the place
and I love it
but I hate this pressure in my chest
and I don't want to
but I need to get away
and I don't want to
but you don't even know you're doing this to me
and I don't want to blame you
but this madness, these voices
keep renting my brain
and I don't want to
but I've been so messed already
that this is not helping
and I don't want to
but-
Nov 2, 2022
Nov 2, 2022 at 4:23 PM UTC
You said,
This is not the way the love works.
But why I kept controling myself up?
Why I kept this feeling so tight even I know that you won't ever do the same thing as me
Why?
Why I kept making me not tired to wait?
They say,
Love is not the only way to break your heart,
But for the love that can make you cured.
I know,
I know how easy you to talk to yourself
Very gently and properly
Then when it comes back to you
You lost your ideas
And you afraid to do the things that you planned before,
Again.
- dlx
Jun 30, 2016
Jun 30, 2016 at 3:24 PM UTC