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Sadie S Nov 2016
You hide behind a mask.
Keeping the truth locked away.
This is so much that needs to be said in the things you never say.

You tell me our time is up.
We cannot go back.
I just don't want to believe it.
I believe you can change.
I feel like we can work this out.

The distance you have between us is a wall I cannot break down.
You continue to push me out.
You refuse to let me in.

My patience hangs by a thread.
But my love for you stays strong.
Real love doesn't go away.
It doesn't fade away.
It goes on forever
and always finds its way.

I cannot wait for a life time
until you to let me in and figure this out.
Your hidden by so much doubt.

Please tell me,
Are we going to work this out?
Are you looking for a way out?

Lets figure this out.
Sadie S Feb 2016
I cannot decide which hurts more.

The pain from a sharp knife sliding across my skin left to right

Or from the pain from loving someone like you
The shortness poems can have to most pain and meaning behind them.
Sadie S Feb 2016
**** ruined you.
It ruined us.

I thought it was me.
My fault.
I needed to change.

I did my hair, my make up.
I danced for you.
I dressed in lingerie and costumes but it was never enough.
I couldn't live up to lust.

Then I learned it wasn't me.
I was your love for *******.

Slowly this diminished my love, my respect for you.
Worst of all it destroyed me, and all my self confidence I had in my self.

I convinced myself,
*** isn't everything but everything else had seemed right.
Maybe we can learn together connecting emotion with action.

Conclusion ended up being your lack of desire for *** and intimacy with me. Could it be my fault?

**** was always just one click away from any fantasy.
I would confront you and express my concerns.
Trying to make the two of us work.

You only got better at hiding it.
*** became a struggle.
Neither of us could reach that ******.
All you could do was blame me.
Then I knew....
You had the case of the prisoners' hand.

Could I wear more makeup?
What about white tipped nails?
Maybe I needed breast implants.

Now you want role play and ***** talks?
If that wasn't enough could I consider *******?

I tried to wrap all this around my head.
Thinking maybe these things would work.
We could become a couple again.

You could never find satisfaction.
So there could be no compromise.
Soon I lost my interest in ***.

It never seemed to bother with you.
I grew angry towards you.
Things began to come violent.

You pushed me twisting my arms and wrist.
Then threw me on the hardwood floor.
As my wrist began to bruise and swell.

How I missed being loved and cared for.
How I desired beautiful and emotional just plain naked ***.

All I lying here depressed.

I'd rather stay in bed then walk into you.
Every time I see you I take a deep breath, Turn around, and walk straight to bed and begin to cry again.

I ask myself...
Why did I stay this long?
Why did I try so hard to fix something that was never there?

For 6 years.
I believed you loved me.
When in reality you were in love with ****.
Being in a relationship with a **** addict hurts. I don't think people realize this pain or the problem **** actually causes. I hope one day my poems with reach out to someone and help them. If they are addicted to **** help them realize that it does hurt and it is not harmless. I hope It will change for the better good.
Sadie S Oct 2015
I looked for a word to say.
   but I could not find one today.
I had hoped to find a word that would stay in your heart.
   That would show you exactly what tore us apart.

I hate what you did... I hate you so deeply.
I hate what you said... I hate you so passionately.
I hate what you made me... I hate you so sweetly.

I look at you and I cannot tell what is in your eyes.
   I speak directly to you but all that comes out of your mouth are lies.

I see how you hurt.
I see how you hurt me.
I just do not understand.

All your true feelings are kept and safely hidden in a far far away land.
   Is this a land we call love?
And now it is a destruction.
   A land God has made from above.
And now we call it seduction.

Its true in a way we both long for each other.
  But we both see to long for another.
Another human being we both thought we were
   But now it seems that this human being I thought you were is now a blur.

This is a bitter sweet heart
   That will end in eradication.
This is a bitter sweet part that needs some construction.

Why I hold on?
I do not know.
I probably will never know why.

I should move forward... Yes
But I feel like I would rather just die.

You caused obliteration deep into my heart.
You caused obliteration because you thought it was smart.

I hate what you did... I hate you so deeply
I hate what you said... I hate you so passionately.
**I hate what you made me... I hate you so sweetly
Sadie S Oct 2015
One, Two
           I love you.
Three, Four
           Is your love unsure?
Five, Six
           He stops and clicks.
Seven, Eight
             Am I just a playmate?
Nine, Ten
              What is it then?

Ten, Nine
          Pass the wine.
Eight, Seven
           You left me heartbroken.
Six, Five
           I am trying to survive.
Four, Three
           I am so angry.
Two, One**
           I am Done.
Created on 10/14/2015
Sadie S Aug 2015
I gave you everything...
you took me for granted but I stayed by your side....
Especially the times you needed me most..
.I trusted you... You ******* lied to...
.******* I just caught you again again an again..
I can't keep repeating this ****....
It's tearing me to shreds...
You broke me down...
Now there's nothing left...
you hurt me worse than anyone....
I just can't do this ****..
you chose what was more important to you..
now I'm saying its the end of you and me....
cuz I'm finally through.
Sadie S Feb 2015
She is sad but never frowns.
She is tired but still living.
She is ignored but still listening.
She is misunderstood but understands.
She is confused but sees the world clear.
She is a mess but does her hair.
She is stressed but finds relief.
She is distant but the end seems close.
She is judged but ignores.
She is alone but creates a friend.
She is hurt and the tears begin.
She is depressed and no ones around.
She is in pain and it never wants to go away.
She is screaming but is silent.
She is ****** up and cant think straight.
She is worthless and doesn't see a point.
She is afraid but find the courage.
She is suicidal and the world cant see it.
She is Dying.

She is me.
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