Every day I feel as if I am on the verge of tears
All of a sudden I start crying without a reason
My mascara always smears
I am supposed to be jolly, you know 'tis the season
But my heart cannot handle it anymore
I believe that I have become one of the heartbroken
Because he used to be the one who said "I love you more"
As you know, I am no longer taken
But all my tears are not because of him, I hope
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Our souls met three years ago and united as one
I never thought you could loose a soulmate
It's been two years since you left and I still love you
I know that if I saw you I would cry
Is it crazy how I still love you?
Is it crazy to say that you're my missing piece
Since you left, I've felt empty on the inside
There no cure, my remedy is you
I'm sorry I cursed at you and say all those horrible things
If I could take it back I would
I used to believe the things I said, but they were never meant to be said
As I write in the verge of tears, I just want to say "I love you"
You were my poison and I was your cure
You were rotten and I was pure
It was my flower
I didn't know I was the girl of the hour
How could you do this?
It all started with a kiss
The kiss of sweet unholy death
I was pure, until you took my breath
It was like being caught in a downward spiral
My feelings were never vital
I didn't know that either
He said "me neither"
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He asked the professional, the mature, & the kind-hearted for consult
All of them told him "it's not your fault"
But he could not get that through his head
He thought that something was wrong with him, so many articles he read
Sadly, he was psychologically affected by the psychologically conflicted
Although their effort to demean him went in vain
Although their goal was to make him go insane
It wasn't accomplished because he ran away from his problems
They thought this game was funny
That the prejudice would not consume him in endless depth
Everyone thought his last words before he left were "help"
But all he screamed to the sky was "I want to understand, why me?
He never got his answer from the bullies
& he left behind a lot of things when he ran away
Could you blame them? For no matter how hard he tried, he was criticized
Was the decision he made correct?
For he was one of the kind-hearted
Mercy was all he deserved & mercy only did he see when he was broken
He lost all faith in God for he was broken
& this developed a new kind of prejudice in his long list
Judge not what you have not lived
I am tired of all the injustice, the prejudice
But I will not be like you
I will do something...
You should ask my lover if I am a good person
He'll tell you all about the girl he fell in love with
He'll tell you how through his eyes she was perfect
And all of her mental disorders became nothing
But what is happening to me?
I started to let go of myself
I started to not care about anything anymore
You might think he left but all he told me was "I can handle it"
And what did I do?
I left him because of the circumstances we were in
Because my parents hate him and seeing him was too hard
I no longer saw light at the end of the tunnel
Nor with him, nor with myself
I am such a bad person
I drive those who are good to me away
And I attract those who are bad to me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You know, I get this image of us dancing together in serenity
In a place where we are no longer bothered by the circumstances
It's not fair that I don't get to choose anything anymore
As I write in tears I remember what we used to be
And how we never got our last first dance
Dear sorrow, I plead for you to go away
You keep returning and I don't like your hello's
You keep consuming my body and I am tired
In this world I want to STAY
Dear sorrow, stop taking away my pride
You make me loose each opportunity for respect
You make me have "Pity" from others commonly
And I hate for that fact, I want to hide
Dear sorrow, stop making me go seek Mary Jane
With her I no longer see you for a few hours
With her I am taken by the hand and we dance joyfully for hours
Am I still sane?
Dear sorrow, it is your fault that I do not know what is right and wrong
I have made bad choices, too many so far
I have died internally so many times
I identify myself through every sad song
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I don't know what to do with my life
Besides being a lovely wife,
I want to be an indepent woman
A woman who doesn't need a man
I want a lot of riches
And a heart that does not need stitches
Riches as in love, money, values
I do not want to be a person who is shallow
I do not know what I want to study yet
And I have not met my soul mate yet
But some day my studies will flurish
And my heart will no longer perish
I sometimes live in fear of what will be
Then again, we all fear what will be
So, I know I'm not alone
When I say we have all been left alone
You might say this does not make sense
I might just all be pretence
Sir, these are the thoughts of a teen
Who does not need anyone to lean
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