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When you found me I'd been through hell
I laughed and cried thank you to my saviour
I was surrounded and alone
Doing everything I could for people and draining myself
He hit me once, then twice, then again till I was nothing
He laughed and joked until I was a former shell
They ignored
He hit again

And you made me laugh for the first time in years
But now I see it was another painful illusion
You're not my saviour
You're my beautiful doom

I'll love you with everything in me
I'll love you with everything I have
I'll wait for you to have the time to talk to me
I'll wait for you if it means I get a kiss
Maybe a hug
Maybe even just a glance

We'll keep building our future together,
I'll keep losing myself to be who you need

You've been busy for a while
And that's okay
Why wouldn't it be
I've learnt to cope
Learnt you can live weeks of laughter without needing me
I'll learn to cope

But you were laughing with your friends whilst I was crying on the phone
You were talking to your friends whilst I was bleeding on the floor
You saw the tears and blood and went back to your game
You'll call me later, I'll be okay

So I'll be okay because that's what you need
I'll be happy when you text because that's what makes you happy
I'll free my nights in case you call to fall asleep
I'll free my days hoping for a miracle

But you were my saviour and I fell in love
Your smile, your voice, your laughter, happiness, face, beauty, personality
I fell in love
And we'll keep building our future, and I'll keep losing myself, my beautiful doom

I'll do anything for you
I'll live
I'll change
I'll **** myself trying
My beautiful doom

This is not romantic
It was never supposed to be
Maybe we can be healthy again
Maybe one day we can be okay
So I'll be hoping for a miracle
Before I **** myself for your future
My beautiful doom
"It's funny, How things always come full circle"... This was the single line I had wrote for a poem that didn't have a title and never posted and is still a draft to this day. I had forgotten ever writing it, Yet it is very true. Many believe that surviving your lowest point, Rock bottom, Means things can only become easier. That is never the case, You merely learn how to live with it, The memories, The mistakes. I know that I haven't posted here in a long time, And that mostly is because I've been on writers block, And running. Running from myself, The past, The memories, And mistakes because I don't know how to face them. To face myself. While yes, I could turn this into some poem with lots of imagery, Metaphors, Xcetera, Like how I have had them in the past, It would only be me running. Distractions. Distractions from the main point of the poem. In another poem talking about a glass of water, I mentioned that you sometimes have to look at the whole picture to notice the tiny details, I wrote this because if you focus too much on the tiny details. You will always be blinded to the whole painting. I got into writing poetry due to a quote that I once read in a book; "Learn about art, Captain. Once you understand a species art, You understand that species". This is a Star Wars quote for those of you that don't know. The reason why this got me into writing poetry is because I've always considered poetry a art and I was hoping that I could finally understand myself is it. Only, That isn't the case it seems. I will continue writing "poems" here and there if you can even call what I post here poems, But will most likely stay quite like I have been, Until I am almost completely forgotten once again. I guess in the end, I was correct though, Things do always come full circle, Don't they?

I guess in the end, It will all fit together.
In the end, It will all fit together.
You're my awful addiction
I'd let you break my heart every day
Just to see you smile
I may never have liked myself
But no matter what I went through
I was proud of who I had become

No matter the times
The temptation
I hadn't given up

I have always promised myself I'd never change myself for anyone
But for a fraction of your time
I'd rearrange every part of my being

And I don't know what's sadder:
The fact that I'd lose myself for you,
Or the fact you wouldn't even notice.
The last poems I've posted, I'm ngl, I'm proud of and like. This one, I don't even know if it's a proper poem, and I'm ashamed. But I had to get my feelings out there some way or another. Thank you.
Feeling trapped under water,
Trying to get through the boarder.
In our social inequity
There's too much bigotry;
Wonder if we're just too nihilistic
Or if we're just too                      .
Either way it's their delusion,
Trying to fight through the illusion.
Did we ever have any proper hope?
Or was that all just another trope?
Arguing against our restrictions,
Wanting to change their decisions.
Equality - such a controversy!
Now we're on our knees begging for mercy.
How many more need to die?
Before you stop the blind eye.
Tears like pools streaming down our face,
Oh, we're such a disgrace!
Running around through an endless maze,
We're just trying to get out of our daze.
Can't you imagine a life any sweeter?
Or is that just too hard to rhetor?
Ignorance at every turn,
Aren't they ever going to learn?
We've had enough of this injustice!
Go find some other vices.
No longer will we be silent,
When standing in front of our tyrant.
We've been sitting here in cages
All since the dark ages;
Freedom only ever a concept
Well, that's sure been hard to accept.
How we've all been confined,
Whilst thinking the stars had aligned;
Trapped within ourselves -
We've just been searching the shelves.
How could we be so blind?
Surely, this isn't part of the grand design!
Making so many restrictions,
It's like their awful addiction.
We could all be so carefree,
If only we had any kind of guarantee!
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