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"baptize" poems
***Night came and conquered my ceiling Head tilted back to inherit it's familiar splendour. But she isn't there... Left my heart slightly gaping. O twinkly one, have you seen her?*** *She's mysteriously veiled tonight, Playfully on her halo, dances gentle light. Don't give up on her, listless moongazer, She wants to be conquered, put up a good fight.* ***Persistent skirmish that sets dreams and reality apart, Eyes don't see what the heart knows so clear, Clarity eludes when forgotten scars start to smart, Do you know if she even realises I'm here?*** *She knows, and dreams of your happy eyes, That only her will hold on their feverish gaze. Unbroken threads of hope, your yearning to baptize And her ice cold craters to be set ablaze.* ***Fire in my vessel still burns bright and strong, Never extinguished behind the facade of my weary husk, My flame would endure just as the wick is long, Tell me dear star, will I see her next dusk?*** *When the sun's swords will seize, slashing the sky in dazzling blue, When the air will bring a comforting ease, Her glistening "yes" will welcome you.* ***Your comforting words ring only of truth, Winking in codes, you might be right . Darkness had claimed and engulfed all proof, Will you accompany me through tonight?*** *This piercing question you don't have to ask me, For even though my light's billion of years away, Twinkling in your dreams I'll always be, The night companion, under your moon's ray.* ryn Dajena M
0
Mar 1, 2015
Mar 1, 2015 at 10:29 AM UTC
Dialogue with a Star
emotion canoodles with thought begetting words frivolous and impermanent until i baptize them in ink and then send them away to be fostered and fed by those kindhearted souls who read and wish them to have a chance to succeed in the hard hearted world into which poetry bleeds
0
Oct 3, 2014
Oct 3, 2014 at 12:35 AM UTC
orphans
Long winding Lost roads Dead dog Or maybe mountain lion **** roadkill) Car stopped in the middle of the road Woman drove off the side of the road (with the ******* pigs) Gas station stops No service area Keeping me on long winding lost roads! Now there Misty fog Hot steam As I baptize with bubbles In this hot tub at Grand Haven A locked cabin Enjoyed for a time by myself Alone.
0
Oct 18, 2016
Oct 18, 2016 at 3:02 PM UTC
Red River Gorge; **** Roadkill
Leo: Remember everyone is fighting. Be patient, forgive, but never allow yourself to be a doormat to those who care less about you than you do them. Forget the wrath. Find the joy in the power it brings you. Virgo: Do not stunt your growth trying to entertain the opinions of other people. You know in the end, you have to be the most important person in your life. Grow. Libra: Quit running. You will never find yourself in other people, so stop trying. Desperation does not look good around your neck. Hold your chin high and look inside yourself for what you need. Scorpio: Go. Stop leaving claw marks in your wake. Know that what you think you need is not always so. You are worth more than what you have been selling yourself for. Pride is important to you, but it is still okay to cry if you need to. Say goodbye to what is less than you. Sagittarius: It is okay to say no. Don’t apologize anymore for having an opinion. Speak your mind, let yourself be heard. Do not quiet your desires for someone else’s. Capricorn: The past doesn’t matter anymore. Close the book, shut the door. Stop searching for answers and know that it all happened for a reason. It will make sense soon if you let it. Aquarius: Do not make friends with your demons. Clean the skeletons from your closet. Take a long walk tonight and allow yourself to feel the weight of sadness like a moth eaten sweater. Fold it up in the morning and put it in a box. Throw it away. Pisces: Stop being selfish and cruel. Put the bourbon away, put your phone away for the night. Sleep by yourself and see what you dream of. People are not trying to ruin you like you are them. Forget revenge. Aries: Let go. Do not cling to what you think is saving you. Do not drink tonight, do not tell them you love them again if you do not mean it. Be careful to not push away the people who truly care for the one who doesn’t. Taurus: It is time to stop caving in on yourself. Reach out to someone, stop to smell the flowers. Find beauty in this world again. Gemini: You’re almost done hurting. I know your mother told you the storm never lasts forever and you doubted her. Let the rain leave you now. It is okay to not define yourself by your sadness. Cancer: Let the things and people you are bitter about leave you. Do not let memories haunt you any longer. Wash them off in the river while it’s still warm. Baptize yourself.
0
Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 8:18 PM UTC
August Horoscopes
Leo: Remember everyone is fighting. Be patient, forgive, but never allow yourself to be a doormat to those who care less about you than you do them. Forget the wrath. Find the joy in the power it brings you. Virgo: Do not stunt your growth trying to entertain the opinions of other people. You know in the end, you have to be the most important person in your life. Grow. Libra: Quit running. You will never find yourself in other people, so stop trying. Desperation does not look good around your neck. Hold your chin high and look inside yourself for what you need. Scorpio: Go. Stop leaving claw marks in your wake. Know that what you think you need is not always so. You are worth more than what you have been selling yourself for. Pride is important to you, but it is still okay to cry if you need to. Say goodbye to what is less than you. Sagittarius: It is okay to say no. Don’t apologize anymore for having an opinion. Speak your mind, let yourself be heard. Do not quiet your desires for someone else’s. Capricorn: The past doesn’t matter anymore. Close the book, shut the door. Stop searching for answers and know that it all happened for a reason. It will make sense soon if you let it. Aquarius: Do not make friends with your demons. Clean the skeletons from your closet. Take a long walk tonight and allow yourself to feel the weight of sadness like a moth eaten sweater. Fold it up in the morning and put it in a box. Throw it away. Pisces: Stop being selfish and cruel. Put the bourbon away, put your phone away for the night. Sleep by yourself and see what you dream of. People are not trying to ruin you like you are them. Forget revenge. Aries: Let go. Do not cling to what you think is saving you. Do not drink tonight, do not tell them you love them again if you do not mean it. Be careful to not push away the people who truly care for the one who doesn’t. Taurus: It is time to stop caving in on yourself. Reach out to someone, stop to smell the flowers. Find beauty in this world again. Gemini: You’re almost done hurting. I know your mother told you the storm never lasts forever and you doubted her. Let the rain leave you now. It is okay to not define yourself by your sadness. Cancer: Let the things and people you are bitter about leave you. Do not let memories haunt you any longer. Wash them off in the river while it’s still warm. Baptize yourself.
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12
Will a Phoenix doused in water reignite? Should the Sun ever disturb the night? As my eyes take their rest my mind takes flight Then quickly plummets straight into blight Straight into sorrow; reigniting my rage And keeps me awake as if it were day Awake to write my story/Awake to dwell on the last page How dare I wallow over someone engaged? Great Leviathan, Demon God of water and life Lend me your strength as I overcome this strife Baptize me in your waters and revitalize my sight Clear away all the salt and callus to turn my scleras white Drown the anger in my heart; cease its return! **** the Phoenix, for its presence burns! Drown the Sun so that the moon may take its turn Allow my brain to rest so that I may have the capacity learn How to fully move on…
0
Apr 4, 2017
Apr 4, 2017 at 1:19 PM UTC
It's been too long
ೋღ❤ღೋೋღ❤ღೋ *Walking down a wooded path tall flowing trees all around, I came upon the river’s edge and sat down on the ground. Sitting at the edge of the river I stare at its ongoing flow, I start to give it all my pain a release with each little throw. My hardest pain is fear that I’ve had from so long ago, of never feeling good enough that’s dulled my inner glow. It eats at me like a cancer each and every day, the fear of never being good enough and again being thrown away. Years of disappointment and abuse only being property, nothing to love, but always trying to make things right so everyone else could rise above. I throw this fear out into the river sit back and watch it pass slowly by, I wrap my arms around myself feel the release, let myself cry. I throw out all the other pains betrayal, heartache, loneliness and more, I watch them drift gently way these last tears will be left on this river shore. Noticing as each and every pain slowly floats down the river away, I observe at a distance as they fade into the suns sparkling rays. Walking down a wooded path tall flowing trees all around, I came upon the river’s edge and was surprised at what I found.* ***And ever onward shall we strive and from the circle peace derive. The sea in robes of mossy green and blues the eye has never seen... In grays that mock the stormy sky and depths that hold the tears gone by....*** *A sweet release we give our heart from pain of past that tore apart, relief that only one can find when hearts we let, become unconfined, to leave behind those stormy skies letting self-love baptize…* ***A tide of tears resides within and waits to overflow. i greet with a smiling face so others will not know. How feeble is this masquerade. Transparent are the games. Emotions should be given room without the chides and blames. The time will come to open up and let the dam release... my will, the pressure stop. my soul will be at peace. Weep when grief prescribes. Laugh for humor's sake. Love with everything you have and forgive, all your mistakes.*** ೋღ❤ღೋೋღ❤ღೋ
0
Mar 22, 2018
Mar 22, 2018 at 8:45 PM UTC
A Collaboration Between Brianna Love & Cné “Sweet Release”
ೋღ❤ღೋೋღ❤ღೋ *Walking down a wooded path tall flowing trees all around, I came upon the river’s edge and sat down on the ground. Sitting at the edge of the river I stare at its ongoing flow, I start to give it all my pain a release with each little throw. My hardest pain is fear that I’ve had from so long ago, of never feeling good enough that’s dulled my inner glow. It eats at me like a cancer each and every day, the fear of never being good enough and again being thrown away. Years of disappointment and abuse only being property, nothing to love, but always trying to make things right so everyone else could rise above. I throw this fear out into the river sit back and watch it pass slowly by, I wrap my arms around myself feel the release, let myself cry. I throw out all the other pains betrayal, heartache, loneliness and more, I watch them drift gently way these last tears will be left on this river shore. Noticing as each and every pain slowly floats down the river away, I observe at a distance as they fade into the suns sparkling rays. Walking down a wooded path tall flowing trees all around, I came upon the river’s edge and was surprised at what I found.* ***And ever onward shall we strive and from the circle peace derive. The sea in robes of mossy green and blues the eye has never seen... In grays that mock the stormy sky and depths that hold the tears gone by....*** *A sweet release we give our heart from pain of past that tore apart, relief that only one can find when hearts we let, become unconfined, to leave behind those stormy skies letting self-love baptize…* ***A tide of tears resides within and waits to overflow. i greet with a smiling face so others will not know. How feeble is this masquerade. Transparent are the games. Emotions should be given room without the chides and blames. The time will come to open up and let the dam release... my will, the pressure stop. my soul will be at peace. Weep when grief prescribes. Laugh for humor's sake. Love with everything you have and forgive, all your mistakes.*** ೋღ❤ღೋೋღ❤ღೋ
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66
Before everything i. I never knew four letters could melt menthol candy-like, hydrochloric acid on my tongue and keep burning it in different degrees I had to swallow back. ii. That there would come a time I'd have to baptize the pain in my chest like seasons robbing me lungfuls on January, September and December nights. iii. That my blood was really ink I needed to stop using before my skin turned paper-like. iv. That my heart had an epicenter pumping a magnitude of earthquakes that made me tremble helplessly in its intensity; and that they were man-made calamities followed by harsh, heavy, whipping tsunamis to flood my grave of bleeding, jagged fault lines. v. That aftereffects lasted longer than treatment itself, and that I didn't need any professional diagnosis to know I was terminal from the same drug that made butterfly-strokes in my veins, whose arms withheld the only elixir to this malady. vi. I named my sickness, my pain, my agony like orphaned children, after you-- a rare disease the doctors didn't even know about yet. vii. I did and I doubted but a part of me beat signals that echoed off the cave walls of my skull that I knew. viii. Before everything, I have been warned but I chose to listen to the soothing, wrong, hopeful voices "He means no harm,". ix. You began spreading like an epidemic-- a tumor to a colony of cells all over me-- until I became you; a reflection of familiar suffering and mortality, slowly withering away. In the end, I didn't even have you to blame for letting me overdose from intakes of my own **** bitter medicine and unforgivable mistakes. x. I guess, this was how you wanted the price to be paid.
0
Feb 18, 2017
Feb 18, 2017 at 6:24 AM UTC
Aftereffects
Before everything i. I never knew four letters could melt menthol candy-like, hydrochloric acid on my tongue and keep burning it in different degrees I had to swallow back. ii. That there would come a time I'd have to baptize the pain in my chest like seasons robbing me lungfuls on January, September and December nights. iii. That my blood was really ink I needed to stop using before my skin turned paper-like. iv. That my heart had an epicenter pumping a magnitude of earthquakes that made me tremble helplessly in its intensity; and that they were man-made calamities followed by harsh, heavy, whipping tsunamis to flood my grave of bleeding, jagged fault lines. v. That aftereffects lasted longer than treatment itself, and that I didn't need any professional diagnosis to know I was terminal from the same drug that made butterfly-strokes in my veins, whose arms withheld the only elixir to this malady. vi. I named my sickness, my pain, my agony like orphaned children, after you-- a rare disease the doctors didn't even know about yet. vii. I did and I doubted but a part of me beat signals that echoed off the cave walls of my skull that I knew. viii. Before everything, I have been warned but I chose to listen to the soothing, wrong, hopeful voices "He means no harm,". ix. You began spreading like an epidemic-- a tumor to a colony of cells all over me-- until I became you; a reflection of familiar suffering and mortality, slowly withering away. In the end, I didn't even have you to blame for letting me overdose from intakes of my own **** bitter medicine and unforgivable mistakes. x. I guess, this was how you wanted the price to be paid.
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38
If I am to dig graves for the rest of my life I wish to do it with my hair long and proud, Swinging at the small of my back as a testament of Will in the face of adversity, Grown by the fruits of my labor. I want to harvest the nectar From the pear tree on my horizon And when I eat my fill, I will just as easily leave the sweetness behind, Before it spoils and then, I will look the hurricane in the eye and laugh, Because I know it will baptize the earth And my pear tree will be waiting for the day This nomad returns to her roots. If I am to choose between A false lover and Uncertainty in the North I want to have the gall to say, “Brother, come at eight.” I want to have the self-control To lower the gun on a man, Whose mind is a dank closet full of spiders. By then, I must be ready to venture out, And risk this Uncertainty in the North. If I am to take my revenge, I wish to do so without collateral damage, And if I do, I want everyone to learn that revenge Will stab you with your own rapier And that I am the kind of person, Who will make you drink your own wine, Because, in the end, We are all sinners. If I am to write propaganda to support A nauseating turn of society, I would rather be exiled. Iceland, Siberia, The Ministry of Love: They are all the same, Because I will come out a different person For better or for worse. I wish to have the strength to cut my hair Because I will not hesitate To cut ties with anyone, Who stands in the way of my passion. I must be unorthodox If I see my fellow men Following in each other’s footsteps, with their eyes closed. I will scream it in the streets, “The world is not pretty.” If I am to be unorthodox, I wish to have faith, Strong enough not to be undone by mere chance, Strong enough so I can watch the coin fall: Heads. Heads. Heads. Accepting that I will one day die. And if it involves a ship, I will be its captain.
0
Apr 23, 2014
Apr 23, 2014 at 5:59 PM UTC
If I Am
If I am to dig graves for the rest of my life I wish to do it with my hair long and proud, Swinging at the small of my back as a testament of Will in the face of adversity, Grown by the fruits of my labor. I want to harvest the nectar From the pear tree on my horizon And when I eat my fill, I will just as easily leave the sweetness behind, Before it spoils and then, I will look the hurricane in the eye and laugh, Because I know it will baptize the earth And my pear tree will be waiting for the day This nomad returns to her roots. If I am to choose between A false lover and Uncertainty in the North I want to have the gall to say, “Brother, come at eight.” I want to have the self-control To lower the gun on a man, Whose mind is a dank closet full of spiders. By then, I must be ready to venture out, And risk this Uncertainty in the North. If I am to take my revenge, I wish to do so without collateral damage, And if I do, I want everyone to learn that revenge Will stab you with your own rapier And that I am the kind of person, Who will make you drink your own wine, Because, in the end, We are all sinners. If I am to write propaganda to support A nauseating turn of society, I would rather be exiled. Iceland, Siberia, The Ministry of Love: They are all the same, Because I will come out a different person For better or for worse. I wish to have the strength to cut my hair Because I will not hesitate To cut ties with anyone, Who stands in the way of my passion. I must be unorthodox If I see my fellow men Following in each other’s footsteps, with their eyes closed. I will scream it in the streets, “The world is not pretty.” If I am to be unorthodox, I wish to have faith, Strong enough not to be undone by mere chance, Strong enough so I can watch the coin fall: Heads. Heads. Heads. Accepting that I will one day die. And if it involves a ship, I will be its captain.
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58
I will write myself to sleep. I will write long, pathetic poems instead of texts to my ex. I will write the novel of my life instead of asking you for attention. I will write the new bible on isolation, chronological volumes on loneliness. I will write ten million haikus before I write you again. I will write love letters to myself until my fingers bleed, until I believe them. I will write the handbook on neglect, the idiots guide to dealing with it. I will write vague fortune cookies about self-acceptance and self-forgiveness. By the time I'm finished, I will have exhausted my depression. I will write Shakespearean prose about this rejection. I will write suicide notes on my shield and armor for protection and I will save myself with them. I will write angry, violent speeches to rally the voices in my head. I will write a pledge of allegiance to myself and recite it daily, after coffee. I will pray to the Gods of "move on," and "get over it." I will baptize myself in holy water that makes me stop caring completely. Holy water, oh well, whatever move on. Hallelujah. I will write the ten commandments on how to be abandoned.
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Dec 15, 2013
Dec 15, 2013 at 3:10 AM UTC
the ten commandments on how to be abandoned.
I have voices in my head. sometimes they are mine and sometimes they are that girl walking down the street without a hat or a home address and I know this because I know things without knowing them. there is hurt here, in this car full of silver and new and no smoking or I'll rip your fingers off. my mother knows how to say amen like she's still dedicated to the Catholic Church I tell her, you should have given that up the day they refused to baptize me. everyone sees dark in me where there is none. I was a baby and I was a baby and I'm still a baby, or I wish I was. I'm a baby who cries and says good morning every day even if it's not. I say good morning when I wake up after missing dinner I refuse to touch China now my hands don't listen to the voices in my head all they think is break break break and the break break break sounds itself like cracking open and I need to lobotomize the dishes in here before she gets sentimental about handing them down to me when I finally find someone who isn't scared of waking up beside me to find my throat slashed here it is. truth, because there is no right or wrong there is truth. and truth sets you free. it sets you free and it has you without a hat or a home address and you still wonder why nobody sends you letters back. you say they forget your name. Or your middle name but it doesn't matter. I only answer to "baby girl, do you want me to call the doctor for you?"
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Jan 12, 2015
Jan 12, 2015 at 9:17 PM UTC
baby girl
Those sometimes those moments of time…. I’ve Had My Times. I’ve had my times…. times of feeling loss, pain, hurt times of wanting to run, to leave to go far away where nobody knows me… there was a time when i was carefree, loving life and in one moment, in one little moment, it was gone. i’ve been beaten down, i’ve had my innocents ripped away [fifteen-year abusive marriage] ***** at sixteen] i’ve cried a river or maybe it’s been an ocean of tears…. [pain consumed my life for many years] i’ve felt the hand of death too many times my soul has bled, my heart….. has known much pain i’ve looked through windows of dark blue seen streaks of red… pondered black holes… have had days of staying in bed… sometimes i’ve wanted the world to just go leave me behind let me be, let me die…. BUT…… I’ve had those moments of time when…. i’ve held new life in my hands heard the beauty of a newborns cry i’ve seen the beauty of an ocean sunset gazed wondrously at sea spirits’ dancing on the water i’ve breathed deeply in the fresh mountain air felt the softness of a breeze like gentle fingers moving through my hair i’ve seen the old find new love an amazing magical sight to see… i’ve watched my children build beautiful lives not always perfect but, full of hopes and dreams. i’ve learned to give through my pain i’ve seen and felt passion i’ve walked through fire and found true beauty on the other side. i look for beauty every day, even when it’s hard to do i let love flow to every part me giving the best to you. i let it consume me because falling into the depths of the demons of my past, would destroy that part of my soul i have fought so hard to get back to keep, so i let love, passion, and beauty consume me. And I Forever Will….. ~ A sweet release we give our heart from pain of past that tore apart, relief that only one can find when hearts we let, become unconfined to leave behind those stormy skies letting self-love baptize… ~
0
May 20, 2018
May 20, 2018 at 12:33 PM UTC
I’ve Had Those Times
Those sometimes those moments of time…. I’ve Had My Times. I’ve had my times…. times of feeling loss, pain, hurt times of wanting to run, to leave to go far away where nobody knows me… there was a time when i was carefree, loving life and in one moment, in one little moment, it was gone. i’ve been beaten down, i’ve had my innocents ripped away [fifteen-year abusive marriage] ***** at sixteen] i’ve cried a river or maybe it’s been an ocean of tears…. [pain consumed my life for many years] i’ve felt the hand of death too many times my soul has bled, my heart….. has known much pain i’ve looked through windows of dark blue seen streaks of red… pondered black holes… have had days of staying in bed… sometimes i’ve wanted the world to just go leave me behind let me be, let me die…. BUT…… I’ve had those moments of time when…. i’ve held new life in my hands heard the beauty of a newborns cry i’ve seen the beauty of an ocean sunset gazed wondrously at sea spirits’ dancing on the water i’ve breathed deeply in the fresh mountain air felt the softness of a breeze like gentle fingers moving through my hair i’ve seen the old find new love an amazing magical sight to see… i’ve watched my children build beautiful lives not always perfect but, full of hopes and dreams. i’ve learned to give through my pain i’ve seen and felt passion i’ve walked through fire and found true beauty on the other side. i look for beauty every day, even when it’s hard to do i let love flow to every part me giving the best to you. i let it consume me because falling into the depths of the demons of my past, would destroy that part of my soul i have fought so hard to get back to keep, so i let love, passion, and beauty consume me. And I Forever Will….. ~ A sweet release we give our heart from pain of past that tore apart, relief that only one can find when hearts we let, become unconfined to leave behind those stormy skies letting self-love baptize… ~
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57
& i can fix a million things [and your heart is one of them] i can make you tea make you breakfast brush your hair kiss your forehead & tell you it’s all going to be o k i can wrap my arms and legs around you and crush you with empathy let my tears drip down your forehead like anointing oil or holy water i can baptize you in a hundred things, i can burn you and create anew from the ashes in my arms i can let you fill my bones with your tears my heart with your heartbreaks my lungs with your sobs my insides with your hurt i can make you a thousand salves and a hundred tinctures to keep you from hurting but i can’t fix myself.
0
Nov 14, 2012
Nov 14, 2012 at 2:53 PM UTC
what i can do
i disembody you in poetry: thin scabs film over your bones, i pick them until i find new skin to lay my kisses on — a new land to baptize with my own heathen hands, i disembody you with them: chest spread open like that of a dressed foul. my body is too corrupted but it knows of intense longing, piercing live-coal eyes, it burns my neck like a crucifix, like flames on a burning metal — it heals, almost cleanses like holy fire and with new bones, i disembody you in poetry: an attempt to see you, hold you, love you whole without it consuming me: a sight of pink lips, pink tongue, pink columbines on your wrist; i take apart your entirety, press it, piece by piece on my fragile nail bed — hidden away somewhere the world loses its sight. and maybe now after all the cycles, it is the world's turn to fumble far and wide, to despair in search for your hands — your eyes that unsettle and leave the cosmos collapsing majestically in its own harshest daylight leaving us all disembodied in blinding, vivid, solar colors. forgive my compulsions to love you like this.
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Feb 6, 2022
Feb 6, 2022 at 12:15 AM UTC
apocalypse
This country was founded on the idea of being who you are in liberty, yet there are people stuck in closets because the monsters are on the other side and the darkness has become too comforting at this point. The face of death has become too beautiful to want to turn away. We are hidden, dancing around the idea of being hung as perfectly as that shirt that was “too gay”. We are wondering how to propose to the Grim Reaper because at this point, he is the only man who can “make us straight”, at least in my case. Others would give him a blow in exchange for their soul. The asexuals, though, are finding the words to ask death out on a coffee date. We’re all just thinking and wishing. We’re rolling out our blueprints and studying the structure of surviving instead of accepting that we’re different and actually living. The pride that used to live in us died a long time ago. Maybe around the same time we were in the closets writing our suicide notes. For me it was the day my mother said the idea of me having lesbian friends gave her headaches. Let me not even get into how high her blood pressure would rise if I told her she had a pansexual daughter. “Had”. Now I am but a corpse living among the resurrected by Christ and I constantly ask myself when God is going to baptize me. I ask myself when I am going to stop looking like a zombie from the Walking Dead because, ******* it, I never learned the script or signed up for any of this. I never even wanted to be an actress. I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to sing the songs of my love for her and let the paparazzi spread rumors of how I cheated because I’m that ******* hot. Mother, I wanted to be a singer, but you ripped my tonsils out and told me to smile for the camera and look pretty. But mother, have you ever thought of something? What if she’s the only one I want to look pretty for?
0
Jun 22, 2016
Jun 22, 2016 at 12:20 AM UTC
Thinking.
This country was founded on the idea of being who you are in liberty, yet there are people stuck in closets because the monsters are on the other side and the darkness has become too comforting at this point. The face of death has become too beautiful to want to turn away. We are hidden, dancing around the idea of being hung as perfectly as that shirt that was “too gay”. We are wondering how to propose to the Grim Reaper because at this point, he is the only man who can “make us straight”, at least in my case. Others would give him a blow in exchange for their soul. The asexuals, though, are finding the words to ask death out on a coffee date. We’re all just thinking and wishing. We’re rolling out our blueprints and studying the structure of surviving instead of accepting that we’re different and actually living. The pride that used to live in us died a long time ago. Maybe around the same time we were in the closets writing our suicide notes. For me it was the day my mother said the idea of me having lesbian friends gave her headaches. Let me not even get into how high her blood pressure would rise if I told her she had a pansexual daughter. “Had”. Now I am but a corpse living among the resurrected by Christ and I constantly ask myself when God is going to baptize me. I ask myself when I am going to stop looking like a zombie from the Walking Dead because, ******* it, I never learned the script or signed up for any of this. I never even wanted to be an actress. I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to sing the songs of my love for her and let the paparazzi spread rumors of how I cheated because I’m that ******* hot. Mother, I wanted to be a singer, but you ripped my tonsils out and told me to smile for the camera and look pretty. But mother, have you ever thought of something? What if she’s the only one I want to look pretty for?
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1
feel the muscles tensing there softly hear my praises sing raise my pulse, and pull my hair-- my body is a loving thing. touch my neck: its hairs will raise feel my goosebumps spread; if your lips on mine should graze i shall never join the dead. but to you i'm only skin and all my tears are not enough to baptize me from how you've sinned and how you took advantage, love.
0
Oct 17, 2017
Oct 17, 2017 at 7:31 AM UTC
body
I have a habit of hypnotizing myself I like to put on my veil a shroud of alteration marry myself to the haze again & again I baptize everyday before I light the world on fire lose myself in the afterglow live in the confusion I love the girl who is the sister of Leila, Ophelia, Astrid o, Sweet Mother Mary pray for me, stuck in melancholy & losing ground unity in Heaven's Rose you are euphoria mostly because I have arranged my wills to center & propel those wills of yours think for me show me I can't live without you can't do for myself what you do for me let's swim in the river where I forget everything for a little while enrapture me all day every day all ways
0
May 29, 2013
May 29, 2013 at 4:57 PM UTC
Diety
If god were real When he’d appear It would be out of nowhere In mysterious ways God would be dressed as a clown His front top teeth are missing And he slurs like a drunk Sometimes you can’t understand him He does this on purpose God was never cryptic He just had trouble enunciating DON’T BE MEAN TO PEOPLE JESUS CHRIST You have trouble looking at his face It is hard to take the message of a clown seriously So you look down at the globes of the tip of his shoes Red shiny bulbs Inside the reflection You are ant sized You feel small in that moment God says something but you are busy looking down You see other ant sized people walking behind you Towards work To get food To go to school God makes you a halo Out of balloons It is white because he ran out of yellow Before he puts it on your head Turned sideways It looks like dangling handcuffs He makes you a sword and belt too You have just been turned into an angel A human angel armed with the necessary tools to fight on his behalf You don’t feel strong in that moment You still feel like an ant God gives you a holy water balloon Just in case things get hairy You decide you might be able to surprise baptize someone with it Then god walks a way But you totally feel better because he just gave you a halo and a sword You cry that night Because you have never felt so small and helpless in your entire life You never felt so silly Wielding you faith as firm as a balloon sword Wearing your blow up halo as a badge So you throw them away Not your faith Just the balloons DON’T HURT ANYBODY God says His tongue pressed to his gums to prevent lisps Then he begins to pump up another balloon He honks his horn And you are so confused
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May 18, 2014
May 18, 2014 at 4:35 PM UTC
Meeting God
If god were real When he’d appear It would be out of nowhere In mysterious ways God would be dressed as a clown His front top teeth are missing And he slurs like a drunk Sometimes you can’t understand him He does this on purpose God was never cryptic He just had trouble enunciating DON’T BE MEAN TO PEOPLE JESUS CHRIST You have trouble looking at his face It is hard to take the message of a clown seriously So you look down at the globes of the tip of his shoes Red shiny bulbs Inside the reflection You are ant sized You feel small in that moment God says something but you are busy looking down You see other ant sized people walking behind you Towards work To get food To go to school God makes you a halo Out of balloons It is white because he ran out of yellow Before he puts it on your head Turned sideways It looks like dangling handcuffs He makes you a sword and belt too You have just been turned into an angel A human angel armed with the necessary tools to fight on his behalf You don’t feel strong in that moment You still feel like an ant God gives you a holy water balloon Just in case things get hairy You decide you might be able to surprise baptize someone with it Then god walks a way But you totally feel better because he just gave you a halo and a sword You cry that night Because you have never felt so small and helpless in your entire life You never felt so silly Wielding you faith as firm as a balloon sword Wearing your blow up halo as a badge So you throw them away Not your faith Just the balloons DON’T HURT ANYBODY God says His tongue pressed to his gums to prevent lisps Then he begins to pump up another balloon He honks his horn And you are so confused
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55
Turn the lights off so that I may know you In this safe space, I invite you to indulge in our mutual vulnerability Feel protection in my arms as I guard your heart As I keep it warm between our chests Set your gaze to mine while you share with me your aspirations I yearn to experience them through the windows to your soul Share with me your fears so that I may put them to rest May this bed be a holy and sacred place for us May this bed be our confession booth free from ridicule May this bed be a tithing basket for you to receive love with no boundaries In this bed, allow divine pleasure to overwhelm you Let your ****** match the depth of your trust Let your tears turn to sweat that trickles down the valley of your spine Let your ****** fluids baptize you; cleanse you of any guilt Share with me your spiritual awakening As I receive communion with your raw, unfiltered, liquified emotion running down your body Toss out your bible, for the only religious text I need is your diary Allow me to tie every inch of your glorious body to a memory I wish not to **** but to love I wish to fulfill all your fetishistic urges For I know they are tied to a psychological yearning By the end of the night I wish to know every inch of your flesh I want the knowledge to be accompanied by the memories that make you, you And if I fail, there's always round two after we cuddle Tyler Castro 3/19/17
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Mar 20, 2017
Mar 20, 2017 at 2:11 AM UTC
Scorpion's Best Night
on the last night of the june breeze that i spent tucked between your hips and my home i heard almost as faint as a wing flutter your tongue unfurled the sounds of your streets against my ear. pavement hard but sweet as a plum liquor spelled out avenues that have become rose pastures. hoods that have grown thick in themselves with petals stained of red rich violence cross brown bones but those bullets bear no color. taxi swift yet city street thick buzzing the sounds of a place with half the people yet twice the traffic. the kind of tuesday twelve fifteen traffic that i never understood but you made action where you lost sense. dropped clips into the alleys where the cops wouldn't go and pierced a limb or two on the way. cheeks filled with with sticky bliss bashed the demure of downtown cause the magnificent mile ain't got ish to the brick backbones of them cook county temples tourist tend to trip past. on my last night here with you i want to do nothing more than wash the windy city out of me before state lines baptize my view of your anatomy. pipe my gums with this Crest and brush your taste out of me. see big cities have stained my tongue before. new york is still in there and i ain't even been there in years. i've caught tears streamlining down the crest of my cheek at the taste of chips of bay ridge in my teeth. so why don't you just get lost? the lingering lisp of your shoreline sure does last a tad past welcomed. matter of fact, a tad past passed two ticks before your beach sands sank my hips. your lips have learned too well the outline of my spine poured against your banks boy. so no thanks boy. i don't want your tee shirt. i don't need your silhouette sketched in my memory let alone my key chain. and you keep saying i'll be back but i'll believe that when i'm 30,000 ft up straddling your boarder by boeing.
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Sep 6, 2012
Sep 6, 2012 at 10:39 PM UTC
***** Your Tee Shirts & Your Key Chains, Chicago!
on the last night of the june breeze that i spent tucked between your hips and my home i heard almost as faint as a wing flutter your tongue unfurled the sounds of your streets against my ear. pavement hard but sweet as a plum liquor spelled out avenues that have become rose pastures. hoods that have grown thick in themselves with petals stained of red rich violence cross brown bones but those bullets bear no color. taxi swift yet city street thick buzzing the sounds of a place with half the people yet twice the traffic. the kind of tuesday twelve fifteen traffic that i never understood but you made action where you lost sense. dropped clips into the alleys where the cops wouldn't go and pierced a limb or two on the way. cheeks filled with with sticky bliss bashed the demure of downtown cause the magnificent mile ain't got ish to the brick backbones of them cook county temples tourist tend to trip past. on my last night here with you i want to do nothing more than wash the windy city out of me before state lines baptize my view of your anatomy. pipe my gums with this Crest and brush your taste out of me. see big cities have stained my tongue before. new york is still in there and i ain't even been there in years. i've caught tears streamlining down the crest of my cheek at the taste of chips of bay ridge in my teeth. so why don't you just get lost? the lingering lisp of your shoreline sure does last a tad past welcomed. matter of fact, a tad past passed two ticks before your beach sands sank my hips. your lips have learned too well the outline of my spine poured against your banks boy. so no thanks boy. i don't want your tee shirt. i don't need your silhouette sketched in my memory let alone my key chain. and you keep saying i'll be back but i'll believe that when i'm 30,000 ft up straddling your boarder by boeing.
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98
I can tell I'm depressed When I don't take the laundry Out of the washer, Where it has been cleansed of its sins Of passion, or rage, of greasy fast food. My filthy hands would ruin them. So I wait for my roommate To baptize his own spotless hands With MY damp boxers. The habitual thuds of my soggy clothes Against the back of the dryer Are a nice distraction. My favorite flannel dances With her tiny lost sock. But 45 minutes isn't enough. I don't want to end their fun, So I leave them there And hope that they'll fuse forever. He tosses the clothes onto my floor, Scattering them, wrinkling them, freeing them. Corduroys atop henleys under crew socks and tees. Folding them would be a waste Of a catastrophic masterpiece.
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Nov 15, 2015
Nov 15, 2015 at 11:25 PM UTC
Laundry
What once was fire in your eyes, is smoldering, about to die. What once was fire in your veins, is spilling out, it slowly wanes. Lost in a fog, Drained of your blood, Spine feeling soft, Face in the mud. Now fan the embers in your eyes, consume what's left, by fire baptize.
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Sep 9, 2019
Sep 9, 2019 at 6:42 PM UTC
in the eyes
I drove 150 miles round trip To hear a friend preach And see him baptize an infant This morning. My friend preached on the Father's love For the prodigal son... Said, "The father loves those outside the fold Every bit as much as those inside the fold!" Made me remember that the Good Shepherd Hunted far and near to bring the one lost sheep Back to the other ninety-nine. I thought, statistically speaking, The Good Shepherd leaves no sheep behind, (A hundred percent salvific rate I'd call it... Pretty good odds for even A dumb sheep like me...). After the ceremony, Lunching at the family's house, The older brother of the baptized boy Looked up at me, Cake in his mouth, And asked,"Are you Jesus?" Took me quite by surprise, But smiling, I said, "No, I'm not Jesus!" He asked, "Where is Jesus?" His grandfather said, "He's here!" Pointing to the little guy's chest. A little while later, When his mom sat next to him, He pointed to his chest, "Jesus lives in here!" Sunday sermons... One in a church, One in a garage... I heard two today. ------------------ Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
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Jun 22, 2014
Jun 22, 2014 at 6:19 PM UTC
"Are You Jesus?" or "What are the Odds?"
spread my rips apart like a treasure chest circumsize my heart and with water bless'd baptize me to hell { never a heaven to sell }
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Apr 29, 2014
Apr 29, 2014 at 8:09 AM UTC
the inquisition
She let her words flow like the quickest stream Falling from the glaciers to the meadow Her mind never rests So full of life Healing the valley's drought Her waters are soothing The resonance of rhythm The sound of silence... Her words will baptize you Make you believe in another power The strength in solitude The power in poetry.
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May 2, 2016
May 2, 2016 at 1:05 AM UTC
The Power In Poetry