I twist and contort from the light Hiding my cracking porcelain skin If I step too hard an arm will fall to the earth and shatter. Turn to quick and my ribs will crumble inwards. So delicate I walk on glass stick legs, careful my footprints don’t leave stains in the snow. I shudder upwards towards the moon but only reach my bedroom window, in I go, they’ll never know. I prop myself up on the wire stand that keeps me from collapsing and gently lower down the bell jar that keeps me safe. I pop a blue pill to sleep and pray I don’t wake up tomorrow.
Went and got a tattoo just for the needle See myself out of body, I don't need her Spinning till morning Looking at old pics mourning I don't know why it's happening again I thought I was done being broken In and out like the breath from my lungs Fast heartbeat but not from the drugs Please, no Another low **** me slow
I’m not sad. I really mean it. I swear I’m fine as I am when the words I’m fine slip out of my lying mouth. I don’t know what you want me to say when I say I don’t feel. Do you want me to lie as I do when I say I don’t need help. Do you want me to say I’m happy, an emotion I haven’t felt in years. Or do you want me to tell the truth deep down honestly, I don’t feel anything. My emotions went away on a trip and I don’t know where they are. Serotonin took a U-turn out of my mind. Dopamine lost the fight. But I’m fine, I don’t need your help. I’m fine sitting alone on my white turned red bed surrounded by my failures.
I try not to worry her So much that sometimes I answer I’m fine before Hello when she calls because I know to her I’m still more bone than skin I’m an empty bottle of pills One breath away from non existence A blood stain she scrubbed with her tears I’ve already worried years off of her life while trying to end my own So when she phones to to check on me I’ll always be fine no matter what is going on in my life and sometimes before Hello
If I die today don't say you'll miss me. I've been dead inside for years yet somehow you couldn't tell when you kissed me If I die tomorrow please don't cry All I've wanted for years was to be able to die.. physically To finally be free of my thoughts & my misery To be able to see once & for all if being here served a purpose Does god really exist? Or was living by all those rules simply worthless. When I'm gone please don't pretend you care Because when I was alive, you were never there All I ever wanted was to appreciated & understood But all you ever saw in me was the bad, not the good Now I'm gone & you wanna talk about how you loved me. Yet When I was alive you put everything above me. Basically what I'm saying is don't wait til its too late, because feeling so alone can lead to self hate. Self hate to self harm Self harm to killing myself When if you'd taken the time to ACTUALLY care, it could've done a world of help.