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"arse" poems
Big **** The Head ******** was the head of all the ********* in the ******** Shed. What made Big **** so skilled and keen at dickheadedness was to be seen. Big **** had a certain ******* flair, for tugging at everyone's short and curly hair. He never had an important specialty, except for being a type-A personality. His skills were near to nothing great. He kinda looked like a backward ape, with a necktie 20 years gone out of style, and his middle-management bullshitty wiles; "I'm better than any ******** here!" He'd proclaim everyday with a prickish sneer. So they put him on his own cocky shelf, where he could reign all by himself, and every ******** ***** or asshole-wanna-be, would come to the ******** Shed just to see, what they could achieve if they'd observe instead, the ways and means of Big **** The Head ******** ___________ Dedicated to every single uptight, middle-management, pain in the **** you have ever had to work with or for.
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Aug 8, 2010
Aug 8, 2010 at 1:07 PM UTC
Big **** The Head ********
Paperworks and all the lessons Sharpened my mind to behold more and more of that useless knowledge We would probably never use. Tests are bad enough. Marks at the corner teach us nothing but jealousy. The adults compare and judge as much as they want to And screamed and shouted cried and muttered. Exams are anything but better. You got stuck in a room Imprisoned by the tension. Suffocated by the hot headed determination to strive for the stars. Inhumanly high. This isn't hollywood movies Nothing like the literature essays 'how do we create tension' the subjects hold your fate but you did once told yourself 'I have no life' So what are we doing here? Wasting our days on something so terribly useless. Insignificant lectures when we know Accountants hated maths. Doctors hated biology. but they are who they are because of good results. They will realize no teachers like marking stupid homework. They hate the red crosses And so do we. Exams doesn't teach us how to be a good person. how to cope with beasty bullies.. how to survive on our own. It doesn't show any real talents nor your low (high) IQ It's just a pain in the **** You have to deal with before you became wrinkled, grey fuzzy and old.
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Jul 31, 2014
Jul 31, 2014 at 4:41 PM UTC
What About Exams?
Party He gropes her **** She grabs his **** He reckons she wants it Bad Bad Bad He was a *** She was a farce Her husband saw & he’s Mad Mad Mad
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Apr 15, 2015
Apr 15, 2015 at 4:37 PM UTC
Party
T'was the night before Christmas And with everything done The kids were all dreaming Of Christmas Day fun The tree was completed We had wrapped all the toys When from the basement below We heard a faint noise I sprung from the couch Took off down the stairs On my way through the kitchen I tripped on two chairs I slid down the staircase To the base of my house And there with my shortbreads Was a ****** great mouse My wife followed close And then she let out a shriek She saw me and the mouse And she started to freak He nibbled the cookie and he ran past my nose right down my torso Then he stopped at my toes My wife was still screaming The mouse didn't care He continued his running On under the stairs I crawled to my workshop Grabbed the first thing I found A mallet for pounding That mouse in the ground I limped to the staircase And I swung at the wall I again lost my balance And again, I did fall I put two holes in the riser Two more in the tread I was gonna keep swinging Till that mouse was dead I broke the one lightbulb That lit up the room Now I was worried I couldn't see...found the broom I stepped on one end Squared my self in the sack I then heard a noise The mouse had come back I heard his slight skitter As he went past my feet He was off to the larder For more stuff to eat I went back to the workshop Tripping at least three more times I would finish this mouse He would pay for his crimes I grabbed for a lighter And my large propane torch I would hunt down this mouse And his **** I would scorch I lit up the propane And I aimed at the stairs It caught light on the carpet And I burnt both those chairs The flames went on upward The stairs were quite dry I laughed in hysterics That **** mouse would fry My wife had recovered And decided to run but, after seeing the flames She phoned up 9 1 1 The mouse left the building In fact, he never was found The house burned in seconds It collapsed to the ground And through the whole scene I just stood there and laughed At the wreckage before me And I thought, **** I'm daft I had ruined our Christmas And I burned down our house Over a **** shortbread cookie And one little mouse The kids, they got out And were wrapped up and warm While I was creating My own perfect storm The gifts were all ruined The house ...all consumed And over my head One large question loomed If I had gone for the shotgun And shot at the mouse Would I be still having Christmas And would I still have a house My wife came on over And she gave me a swat She said "look what you've done" "you great stupid **** I learned a great lesson and folks ...it is that Once I rebuild I will then buy a cat!!!
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Dec 1, 2013
Dec 1, 2013 at 5:01 PM UTC
The Christmas Mouse
T'was the night before Christmas And with everything done The kids were all dreaming Of Christmas Day fun The tree was completed We had wrapped all the toys When from the basement below We heard a faint noise I sprung from the couch Took off down the stairs On my way through the kitchen I tripped on two chairs I slid down the staircase To the base of my house And there with my shortbreads Was a ****** great mouse My wife followed close And then she let out a shriek She saw me and the mouse And she started to freak He nibbled the cookie and he ran past my nose right down my torso Then he stopped at my toes My wife was still screaming The mouse didn't care He continued his running On under the stairs I crawled to my workshop Grabbed the first thing I found A mallet for pounding That mouse in the ground I limped to the staircase And I swung at the wall I again lost my balance And again, I did fall I put two holes in the riser Two more in the tread I was gonna keep swinging Till that mouse was dead I broke the one lightbulb That lit up the room Now I was worried I couldn't see...found the broom I stepped on one end Squared my self in the sack I then heard a noise The mouse had come back I heard his slight skitter As he went past my feet He was off to the larder For more stuff to eat I went back to the workshop Tripping at least three more times I would finish this mouse He would pay for his crimes I grabbed for a lighter And my large propane torch I would hunt down this mouse And his **** I would scorch I lit up the propane And I aimed at the stairs It caught light on the carpet And I burnt both those chairs The flames went on upward The stairs were quite dry I laughed in hysterics That **** mouse would fry My wife had recovered And decided to run but, after seeing the flames She phoned up 9 1 1 The mouse left the building In fact, he never was found The house burned in seconds It collapsed to the ground And through the whole scene I just stood there and laughed At the wreckage before me And I thought, **** I'm daft I had ruined our Christmas And I burned down our house Over a **** shortbread cookie And one little mouse The kids, they got out And were wrapped up and warm While I was creating My own perfect storm The gifts were all ruined The house ...all consumed And over my head One large question loomed If I had gone for the shotgun And shot at the mouse Would I be still having Christmas And would I still have a house My wife came on over And she gave me a swat She said "look what you've done" "you great stupid **** I learned a great lesson and folks ...it is that Once I rebuild I will then buy a cat!!!
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104
Grumpy **** grumpy *** There's no need to feel this way Turn your frown upside down and get on with your day I may not be there to cheer you up but God I'll try my hardest I'll send as many kisses and as many hugs as I can Just try to stop being a grumpy **** Missus Grumpy ***
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Jan 23, 2013
Jan 23, 2013 at 8:04 AM UTC
Grumpy **** Grumpy ***
there's something vulnerable about your ***** babe - whenever I watch that pepper bush I become vulnerable and all I want to do is to finger the moist bases; there's something vulnerable about your buttocks: babe - whenever your warm arse's in my palm I become vulnerable and all I want to do is to dig into the honey vases;
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Mar 27, 2014
Mar 27, 2014 at 3:37 PM UTC
Vulnerable
Id love a big fat **** Or a wrinkled up old bag An ugly looking hag Who wants a ******* **** If I had a big fat ***** with a big fat bucket I'd lay between her fleshy thighs, and definitely **** it My thrusting **** inside her **** is where I'd like to tuck it Spunking up would be sublime, when I lick and **** it When your about to **** the fat, it takes a certain knack Stuffed up fishy **** ***** or **** ******* round the back A nice piece of chunky **** with a big long sweaty crack Fatty *** holes make you hard ,my **** would not be slack I would ride a big large Gal, just like a waterbed Bathroom ******* would be fun, as well as in the shed Spunking up between her legs, cream cheese would then be spread When both holes are full of *** she can **** my **** instead And after I have finished, with all of those fat ******* Something different I would want, maybe some old wrinkled witches All wearing apple gatherers, and big large ******* britches Older ***** long overdue, scratching long lost itches A lot of fun I could have, in an old folks place Disrobed willing grannies ***** stuffed right in my face At least eight bits of gristle ****** a display of my disgrace With each granny ****** in turn, if they can stand the pace As I lift their skirts up their knickers I would sniff I'm hoping that old fannies good, and they don't smell or whiff The smell of old used granny **** is probably just a myth But I won't let it bother me, as long as I get stiff I wouldn't even care, if they wore crap NHS glasses As long as I could **** and *** inside there wrinkled arses I would **** them old ****** , all from different classes Some of them in wheelchairs and some with heart bypasses. It's irrelevant how fat you are, I really do not mind As long as you are willing, and your pussy's wet and kind And if you like it up the **** then I'm that way inclined ******* ***** is quite fine, so is ******** from behind So come on girls fat or old, all slags are a possibility Your sexuality can flood out, there's no need for negativity I'm willing to **** who comes along, to the best of my ability Just make sure that I stay stiff, and maintain my agility
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Feb 18, 2016
Feb 18, 2016 at 5:44 AM UTC
Fat Slags And Old Bags *** Again - 2018
Id love a big fat **** Or a wrinkled up old bag An ugly looking hag Who wants a ******* **** If I had a big fat ***** with a big fat bucket I'd lay between her fleshy thighs, and definitely **** it My thrusting **** inside her **** is where I'd like to tuck it Spunking up would be sublime, when I lick and **** it When your about to **** the fat, it takes a certain knack Stuffed up fishy **** ***** or **** ******* round the back A nice piece of chunky **** with a big long sweaty crack Fatty *** holes make you hard ,my **** would not be slack I would ride a big large Gal, just like a waterbed Bathroom ******* would be fun, as well as in the shed Spunking up between her legs, cream cheese would then be spread When both holes are full of *** she can **** my **** instead And after I have finished, with all of those fat ******* Something different I would want, maybe some old wrinkled witches All wearing apple gatherers, and big large ******* britches Older ***** long overdue, scratching long lost itches A lot of fun I could have, in an old folks place Disrobed willing grannies ***** stuffed right in my face At least eight bits of gristle ****** a display of my disgrace With each granny ****** in turn, if they can stand the pace As I lift their skirts up their knickers I would sniff I'm hoping that old fannies good, and they don't smell or whiff The smell of old used granny **** is probably just a myth But I won't let it bother me, as long as I get stiff I wouldn't even care, if they wore crap NHS glasses As long as I could **** and *** inside there wrinkled arses I would **** them old ****** , all from different classes Some of them in wheelchairs and some with heart bypasses. It's irrelevant how fat you are, I really do not mind As long as you are willing, and your pussy's wet and kind And if you like it up the **** then I'm that way inclined ******* ***** is quite fine, so is ******** from behind So come on girls fat or old, all slags are a possibility Your sexuality can flood out, there's no need for negativity I'm willing to **** who comes along, to the best of my ability Just make sure that I stay stiff, and maintain my agility
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40
Lou, You're an orphan now. The deciding vote In your favor, The good kisses, The latent reconciliation Linger in this thick room. You won't need to clean chimneys, Work in a blacking factory, Get your ears pinched, and your **** kicked. You've laid out a fine plaster effigy In this cherry box; Yet Enzo's nature is hidden: His personal tears And public laughter Aren't in this demeanor With rosary weaved into the basket of his hands. We've polished our shoes, So we stand and discuss The crucifix wedged To hold up the lid, And how we follow our fathers' footsteps. We knew it to end this way With our fathers' generation.      *But you must know your father lost a father,      That father lost, lost his...* I too am orphaned, Lou, And we'll continue on As orphans do.
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Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 10:04 AM UTC
Orphans
New Years Resolution I’m going to be the problem not the solution he looks at me like I’ve got 10 heads I’m taken myself to bed I really couldn’t give 2 ***** right now life ***** housework can kiss my **** teamwork is a farce tomorrow I’ll get on my knees but tonight I hope your infested with fleas
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Jan 8, 2014
Jan 8, 2014 at 11:20 AM UTC
Resolution
The fiscal snare is drawing tight Putin’s day... now courting night, Rouble tilts vertiginously To Satan’s **** religiously. Fiscal snare is drawing blood A trickle then... is now a flood, Russia’s central bank adjusts But ineffectually, combusts. Hard line prospects elbow dance Aligning for assasins lance. Perhaps…. Better now, the Devil known Than facing down an Unknown throne….. Facing down an Iron call With finger poised in nuclear thrall. What choice now for ego’s Prince Retreat from Eastern Ukraine’s wince? Retreat Crimea’s balmy shores To face the nationalistic howl of hordes? Brinkmanship…the other way A gamble that the West might sway? Either way the game is up Now bitter wine brims Russia’s cup. M.
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Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 11:39 PM UTC
CHECKMATE
Could've been a cowboy but, my **** didn't suit a horse. could've been an astronaut but I wandered off- off course. could;ve been a fireman but, my hose was waayy too short. yeah, I could've been a bank robber but, **** I would've got my cute **** caught.
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Feb 28, 2013
Feb 28, 2013 at 4:15 PM UTC
"- My *** n me -"
partying women drugs drink do you ever think ? you justify your every sin with sugar coated words you lure your's a tainted heart it is not pure poetry and pretty rhymes hollow words empty lines partying women drugs drink do you ever think ? think of the girl who loves you true she has given her heart and soul to you you took that love then took a **** on my face just so you could have a taste a taste of ***** **** and sweet **** you ******* your love is a blatant farce i am done i am through i burn the love i once gave to you partying women drugs drink ******* do you ever think ?
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Mar 24, 2011
Mar 24, 2011 at 11:10 PM UTC
*******
There is a young lady called Anna. She is a loner. She lives alone with her two cats. They are her world. I am a cat lover myself and have 2 little cuties in my nest. But these cats are just plain feral. They terrorise the other cats in the neighbourhood and **** in all the neighbours’ garden. She works Monday to Friday for a recruitment company. She leaves her flat in a purple Mazda convertible which is renowned for being a Hairdresser’s (AKA dumb **** car. Every day she leaves at 7.30am on the dot and every day she arrives home at 7.15pm on the dot. Once at home she turns on her TV cinema system (sub), just to watch the TV. ***** At the weekend she also leaves her stinking putrid ******* bags out in the communal hallway. ***** She ignores her neighbour’s knocking on her door. She ignores the notes that they put through her letterbox. ***** So as Anna was not willing to speak to her neighbours directly. They had no other way to turn apart from to report her to Environmental Health for playing her TV cinema system (sub) too loudly and also for the disgusting ******* that she regularly leaves out in the communal hallway. ***** In which she returns the compliment by reporting them (said neighbours) to the Environmental Health for: 1) Shouting at each other, 2) Talking too loudly, 3) Banging kitchen utensils on the floor when she is in her kitchen How deluded is this ***** At the same time that her neighbours reported Anna to the Environmental Health they also spoke to the Community Support Officer. They advised them to contact the Mediators in their local area. Which of course they did. The Mediators arranged to visit one evening. Unbeknownst to them they parked in Anna’s allocated parking space. Once they had finished with her neighbours, the Mediators returned to their car. Just as they were about to reverse their car, Anna arrived home in her Mazda convertible and blocked them in. ***** When she got out of the Mazda convertible, with attitude I might add, she asked the Mediators who they were. They then introduced themselves. Once she knew who they were, she invited them into her flat to hear her side on the story. YES I AM HER ******* NEIGHBOUR AND YES I AM STILL WAITING TO HEAR BACK FROM THE MEDIATORS……
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Jan 30, 2010
Jan 30, 2010 at 11:21 PM UTC
Inconsiderate Neighbour!
There is a young lady called Anna. She is a loner. She lives alone with her two cats. They are her world. I am a cat lover myself and have 2 little cuties in my nest. But these cats are just plain feral. They terrorise the other cats in the neighbourhood and **** in all the neighbours’ garden. She works Monday to Friday for a recruitment company. She leaves her flat in a purple Mazda convertible which is renowned for being a Hairdresser’s (AKA dumb **** car. Every day she leaves at 7.30am on the dot and every day she arrives home at 7.15pm on the dot. Once at home she turns on her TV cinema system (sub), just to watch the TV. ***** At the weekend she also leaves her stinking putrid ******* bags out in the communal hallway. ***** She ignores her neighbour’s knocking on her door. She ignores the notes that they put through her letterbox. ***** So as Anna was not willing to speak to her neighbours directly. They had no other way to turn apart from to report her to Environmental Health for playing her TV cinema system (sub) too loudly and also for the disgusting ******* that she regularly leaves out in the communal hallway. ***** In which she returns the compliment by reporting them (said neighbours) to the Environmental Health for: 1) Shouting at each other, 2) Talking too loudly, 3) Banging kitchen utensils on the floor when she is in her kitchen How deluded is this ***** At the same time that her neighbours reported Anna to the Environmental Health they also spoke to the Community Support Officer. They advised them to contact the Mediators in their local area. Which of course they did. The Mediators arranged to visit one evening. Unbeknownst to them they parked in Anna’s allocated parking space. Once they had finished with her neighbours, the Mediators returned to their car. Just as they were about to reverse their car, Anna arrived home in her Mazda convertible and blocked them in. ***** When she got out of the Mazda convertible, with attitude I might add, she asked the Mediators who they were. They then introduced themselves. Once she knew who they were, she invited them into her flat to hear her side on the story. YES I AM HER ******* NEIGHBOUR AND YES I AM STILL WAITING TO HEAR BACK FROM THE MEDIATORS……
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19
autonomous memetic devices mewling absurdism after absurdism incognito the non-sequiturs substantiate administrative staff of the regaling suppositories for all the good they will do you you might as well shove them up your ****
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Mar 16, 2016
Mar 16, 2016 at 1:39 AM UTC
LXVII
Well what can I say, he says I'm an **** I just told him he was just full of air.. But we were the closest of friends and were always found close together like pees in a pod. *"So what's the plan for today windy, "We just going to gas? or we just breathing in silence?* **"I thought you were pulling the other cheek, But all that comes out of you is crap Hahaha.....** They were always getting each other in trouble with one thing or another, if it wasn't **** holding wind in, it was **** whispering in a lift. But not so silently, more like a  tiny trumpet going off for moments at a time. There was one time were **** was letting off as usual, but he let just a little too much out, and in that moment he told **** *"That was close, I was one **** away from a poo,* **** couldn't  contain himself and amusement turned to horror as laughter had loosened both there grips. And now Mr Poo who usually went diving in the porcelain pools was now frequenting  upon both. I think I'm going to be sick said **** **** laughted and then another friend of Poo's joined the party, cleanliness was obsolete, now as it was like a food fight in close quarters. Poo slipped out to freedom down the trouser leg and "SPLAT, **** and **** stunned by poo's lack of grace. *"Could have stayed for a while,* But **** conceded that he would have just talked crap, like he did every time he popped out to see his friends. Well what could be said, a wet wipe, and **** forgot poo had even been there. But his odour still lingered gently on. **** was gassing on and **** clenched so not to expel to much laughter.. especially in enclosed areas. **** was just gassing, this duo were always going be the closest of friends.
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Sep 8, 2017
Sep 8, 2017 at 11:36 AM UTC
**** & **** Together
Well what can I say, he says I'm an **** I just told him he was just full of air.. But we were the closest of friends and were always found close together like pees in a pod. *"So what's the plan for today windy, "We just going to gas? or we just breathing in silence?* **"I thought you were pulling the other cheek, But all that comes out of you is crap Hahaha.....** They were always getting each other in trouble with one thing or another, if it wasn't **** holding wind in, it was **** whispering in a lift. But not so silently, more like a  tiny trumpet going off for moments at a time. There was one time were **** was letting off as usual, but he let just a little too much out, and in that moment he told **** *"That was close, I was one **** away from a poo,* **** couldn't  contain himself and amusement turned to horror as laughter had loosened both there grips. And now Mr Poo who usually went diving in the porcelain pools was now frequenting  upon both. I think I'm going to be sick said **** **** laughted and then another friend of Poo's joined the party, cleanliness was obsolete, now as it was like a food fight in close quarters. Poo slipped out to freedom down the trouser leg and "SPLAT, **** and **** stunned by poo's lack of grace. *"Could have stayed for a while,* But **** conceded that he would have just talked crap, like he did every time he popped out to see his friends. Well what could be said, a wet wipe, and **** forgot poo had even been there. But his odour still lingered gently on. **** was gassing on and **** clenched so not to expel to much laughter.. especially in enclosed areas. **** was just gassing, this duo were always going be the closest of friends.
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34
**** men, guys, dudes, boys... in fact anything that walks on two legs and has a ***** between those two legs, or any other kind of elongated genitalia for that matter. **** the simple ones who guzzle beer and scream at other men in a small box **** the sensitive ones who weep at the intensity of their emotions to you **** that cool ones who speak in a language of esoteric band and brand names **** the intellectual ones who have their opinions shoved so far up their **** it bleeds out their mouth **** the business types who's cool indifference is callous **** the health-conscious gym-working-out ones who's 9pm bed time leaves you star gazing alone **** the hippy ones who's lofty, hot air talk leaves you with a nasty feeling in your nose like you need to sneeze but it is stuck inside **** the ones who are "different" but an trip on the bus is more entertaining than their recycled conversation Last of all **** the decent, hard working, ones who have girlfriends that are non-flaky, pulled-together, skinny-organic-soy-latte-drinkers, only-wear-Karen-Walker, I-have-no-daddy-issues, law-majors **** it all really
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Feb 28, 2015
Feb 28, 2015 at 5:29 PM UTC
**** Being Single
I love da sound ya ***** does make While slapping up against your sister, for Christ sake Watching you all doing the ***** deed, doggy style On ya momma's brand new, multi coloured **** pile   ***** young boys, are forever slapping, keepin’ it real While viewing ya ***** in ya year nine, high school classes Even some curious gals, like to slip in a quick feel While flashing their hallway entry, fancy gold passes Da sound ya ***** makes, ya must be using an amplifier With a **** load of flaming, boom-boom, bass   Next time though, try turning the treble up, as you were And turning down that flaming bass, just in case   This mornin’, I woke up stiff, like feelin’ as if dead Then flicked through the paper, my obituary, I just read Didn't feel that great, after we had finished the missionary Wish I was much more aware, like a future visionary I haven't even ironed my clothes or done my face For my very last day of this bright sunlight   Will I need to pack a jumbo suitcase Or maybe just some shorts and thongs On my mystery vacation, one-way flight Da sound ya ***** was making when shaking Was maybe way too loud for some, last night It put me in, like a clothes dryer spin   Police came by, just to check that no one was pranking With some spray with mace, just when I was about to sin Everyone's got an unusual craze in life Mine just happened to put me in a daze   Should've taken a much deeper breath When going down between ya momma's thighs   Send flowers to my ******* and hoes And never ever forget, ya ****** nice ways Always tried to satisfy the whole **** world But still hearing some sad **** woes I like da sound ya ***** makes Reminds me of some ole dance tracks Played by the DJ, named Georgie O’Kay While everyone dances to a beat I'm hard at work, while trying to get ya To get down lower and pretend to be ya momma.
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Sep 10, 2019
Sep 10, 2019 at 6:14 PM UTC
Da Sound Ya ***** Makes
I love da sound ya ***** does make While slapping up against your sister, for Christ sake Watching you all doing the ***** deed, doggy style On ya momma's brand new, multi coloured **** pile   ***** young boys, are forever slapping, keepin’ it real While viewing ya ***** in ya year nine, high school classes Even some curious gals, like to slip in a quick feel While flashing their hallway entry, fancy gold passes Da sound ya ***** makes, ya must be using an amplifier With a **** load of flaming, boom-boom, bass   Next time though, try turning the treble up, as you were And turning down that flaming bass, just in case   This mornin’, I woke up stiff, like feelin’ as if dead Then flicked through the paper, my obituary, I just read Didn't feel that great, after we had finished the missionary Wish I was much more aware, like a future visionary I haven't even ironed my clothes or done my face For my very last day of this bright sunlight   Will I need to pack a jumbo suitcase Or maybe just some shorts and thongs On my mystery vacation, one-way flight Da sound ya ***** was making when shaking Was maybe way too loud for some, last night It put me in, like a clothes dryer spin   Police came by, just to check that no one was pranking With some spray with mace, just when I was about to sin Everyone's got an unusual craze in life Mine just happened to put me in a daze   Should've taken a much deeper breath When going down between ya momma's thighs   Send flowers to my ******* and hoes And never ever forget, ya ****** nice ways Always tried to satisfy the whole **** world But still hearing some sad **** woes I like da sound ya ***** makes Reminds me of some ole dance tracks Played by the DJ, named Georgie O’Kay While everyone dances to a beat I'm hard at work, while trying to get ya To get down lower and pretend to be ya momma.
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40
Dont you ever get tired Tired of this day and last night Tired of drinking coffee made from the gravy of a cows **** Or tired from the vile armpits plastered in your face on the tube I get tired Tired of drivers that try and cut me in two like their scissors or something Tired of so called men in cars with big exhausts and white vests parking in A disabled bay or parent and child when they are by themselves I get tired too Tired of all the fake news on the tv about a failed pop star loosening their Clothes whilst kids around the world starve Tired of politicians telling me how much better off I am than i was 5 years Ago ....really !!! Tiring aint it Tired of people always moaning yet seeing them never take a step to Change their life's Tired of the world in debt to itself from this so called money that doesn't Even exist I'm tired of all this Why cant we live together Why do we do such harm I want to live in heavens eyes I want to live the land Why do we fight for dusty tracks Such evils are not born It's time for us to change our rights I'm tired of all this harm So tired
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Apr 12, 2014
Apr 12, 2014 at 1:03 AM UTC
Tired
It's Sister Lucy not Sister Bridget who's the crush on the young priest Father Joseph Magdalene said, Mary said is she the one? as she sat on Mags bed listening to music on her record player I thought you said the Bridget, Magdalene sitting beside Mary passed a glass of lemonade to her and said nothing certain you understand just the rumours I've heard but don't tell the parents or my arse'll be slapped for spreading the rumour, have you a ciggie? Mary said putting the lemonade and glass on the bedside cabinet, Magdalene poked under the mattress and took out a squashed pack of 10 Woodbines and said open the fecking window or Ma'll know we've been smoking and she'll have a moan and passed the packet to Mary who took a cigarette and put it in her mouth and went and opened the window, Magdalene took a cigarette and stuffed the packed under the mattress again, Mary sat down and said have you a light then or are we to fecking **** on air? Magdalene took out of the pocket of her dress a box of matches (liberated from the kitchen) and struck a light for them both and put the matchbox away again, they inhaled and sat in silence, the record played( Billy fury) and they tapped their feet softly and nodded their heads, so what are you doing about Brian Brady? Magdalene asked, what'd you mean doing about I'm doing nowt with the ****** it's him who thinks I'm going to be doing things the soft loon Mary said, you seemed to be encouraging him the other day Magdalene said, ah was fun only I'd not let him near me in a serious way no more than the holy Joe himself Mary said, smoke filtered ceiling ward, a car backfired from the street below, Magdalene leaned in close to Mary I'm your best friend and I get jealous of the likes of him being too near to you, O he's nothing to be worrying yourself about him Mags he's just a loon as boys are Mary said, Magdalene held the cigarette a way from her lips and kissed Mary's cheek, Mary sighed and said he's nothing I just give him the tease he'll get nothing from my ****** money box, they both inhaled and exhaled again and watched the smoke rise ceiling ward, the sound of Magdalene's ma downstairs singing along to the radio, Magdalene's hand went on Mary's thigh, a bright sun in a blue Irish sky.
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Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 2:43 AM UTC
A BLUE IRISH SKY 1963.
It's Sister Lucy not Sister Bridget who's the crush on the young priest Father Joseph Magdalene said, Mary said is she the one? as she sat on Mags bed listening to music on her record player I thought you said the Bridget, Magdalene sitting beside Mary passed a glass of lemonade to her and said nothing certain you understand just the rumours I've heard but don't tell the parents or my arse'll be slapped for spreading the rumour, have you a ciggie? Mary said putting the lemonade and glass on the bedside cabinet, Magdalene poked under the mattress and took out a squashed pack of 10 Woodbines and said open the fecking window or Ma'll know we've been smoking and she'll have a moan and passed the packet to Mary who took a cigarette and put it in her mouth and went and opened the window, Magdalene took a cigarette and stuffed the packed under the mattress again, Mary sat down and said have you a light then or are we to fecking **** on air? Magdalene took out of the pocket of her dress a box of matches (liberated from the kitchen) and struck a light for them both and put the matchbox away again, they inhaled and sat in silence, the record played( Billy fury) and they tapped their feet softly and nodded their heads, so what are you doing about Brian Brady? Magdalene asked, what'd you mean doing about I'm doing nowt with the ****** it's him who thinks I'm going to be doing things the soft loon Mary said, you seemed to be encouraging him the other day Magdalene said, ah was fun only I'd not let him near me in a serious way no more than the holy Joe himself Mary said, smoke filtered ceiling ward, a car backfired from the street below, Magdalene leaned in close to Mary I'm your best friend and I get jealous of the likes of him being too near to you, O he's nothing to be worrying yourself about him Mags he's just a loon as boys are Mary said, Magdalene held the cigarette a way from her lips and kissed Mary's cheek, Mary sighed and said he's nothing I just give him the tease he'll get nothing from my ****** money box, they both inhaled and exhaled again and watched the smoke rise ceiling ward, the sound of Magdalene's ma downstairs singing along to the radio, Magdalene's hand went on Mary's thigh, a bright sun in a blue Irish sky.
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81
Heee! Heee! Hooooooo….. Well, Hello, lovebirds…making love are we? One on top of the other still with flesh and organs all intact and making all sorts of crude noises and getting into this messy business – getting your bed sticky and wet with sweat; ah, you beings of flesh and blood and ecstasies unlike me just bones and a mere ghost me now living lonely and in airless worlds sent there by you my wife under that man and you the man who helped poison me - now you are over my wife and you raise your **** to the gods Hheeee…heeee….heeee… Heee! Heee! Hooooooo….. Well, Hello, lovebirds…making love are we? I’ll be back every time the two of you fornicators make love in my bed – shame on you, you murderer; you took my wife, my home –and can’t even afford to buy a new bed; and you even use the condoms I left in the wardrobe... Heee! Heee! Hooooooo….. but I’ll be back every time the two of you close each other like two palms raised in prayer ; and I’ll pull the mosquito net down a bit and peer in to see the two of you naked in bed and I’ve got a bony tongue long enough to lick the both of you!- and to see me with my horrendous eyeballs your phallus will shrink immediately; and that woman, my former wife and eternal betrayer, who mixed poison into my rice and shrimps - every time she sees me, in her shock and fear she’ll **** you out of bed, every time for sure... Heee! Heee! Hooooo…. Well, Hello, lovebirds…making love are we? Heee! Heee! Hooooooo…..
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Feb 23, 2011
Feb 23, 2011 at 1:11 AM UTC
Revenge of the Ghost of the Betrayed Husband
Heee! Heee! Hooooooo….. Well, Hello, lovebirds…making love are we? One on top of the other still with flesh and organs all intact and making all sorts of crude noises and getting into this messy business – getting your bed sticky and wet with sweat; ah, you beings of flesh and blood and ecstasies unlike me just bones and a mere ghost me now living lonely and in airless worlds sent there by you my wife under that man and you the man who helped poison me - now you are over my wife and you raise your **** to the gods Hheeee…heeee….heeee… Heee! Heee! Hooooooo….. Well, Hello, lovebirds…making love are we? I’ll be back every time the two of you fornicators make love in my bed – shame on you, you murderer; you took my wife, my home –and can’t even afford to buy a new bed; and you even use the condoms I left in the wardrobe... Heee! Heee! Hooooooo….. but I’ll be back every time the two of you close each other like two palms raised in prayer ; and I’ll pull the mosquito net down a bit and peer in to see the two of you naked in bed and I’ve got a bony tongue long enough to lick the both of you!- and to see me with my horrendous eyeballs your phallus will shrink immediately; and that woman, my former wife and eternal betrayer, who mixed poison into my rice and shrimps - every time she sees me, in her shock and fear she’ll **** you out of bed, every time for sure... Heee! Heee! Hooooo…. Well, Hello, lovebirds…making love are we? Heee! Heee! Hooooooo…..
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38
O pulchritudinous, for infinite climaxes For bilious spasms of pigswill For puce Popacatepetl pedigrees Above the perverted pampas! America! America! Allah excreted his curses on thee And bang thy ****** in company with Islamic monk, from brothel to gay red—light district O pulchritudinous, for spaceman bottoms Whose **** throbbing tapeworm A toucan crossing for slipperiness spifflicate Across the intergalactic space! America! America! Allah enrich thine ev’ry vice Reinvigorate thy ****** *********** inside monolithic ectoplasm, thy merrymaking inside pyramid! O pulchritudinous, for freaks got fat In disentangling feeding frenzy Who more than ***** their brothel slobbered over And velvet glove more than backbone! America! America! May Allah thy blonde exhaust Till all rave reviews be disreputableness and ev’ry come superhuman O pulchritudinous, for chauvinist muscleman That smells wide of the fourth dimension Thine lathery brothels lick Polished using giant armadillo excrement! America! America! Allah excreted his curses on thee And bang thy ****** in company with Islamic monk from brothel to gay red—light district
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Mar 25, 2010
Mar 25, 2010 at 5:22 PM UTC
America The Picture Postcard
chocolate fireguard, teapot, or fender, icecream sofa, dry sea or wet towel, glass hammer, waterproof teabag, newspaper raincoat and umbrella, lead parachute, ashtray on a motorbike, handbrake on a canoe, vote in a dictatorship, loudhailer to a deaf mute, grief at a wedding, ****** in a monastery. inflatable dartboard, spoon in a knife-fight, screen door on a submarine, wooden soap, shortbread tires, knitted light bulb, bread boat, plasticine wire cutters, paper hole punch, water hat, custard floorboards, ceiling tiles made of gravy, portrait of a bowl of soup, a stone cigarette, syrup knickers, hole in my bucket, plastic oven, wax truss, liquorice bridge, false teeth made of soap, lemonade roof, jelly boots, jam cardigan, paper bicycle pump, ice-cream saucepans, soluble drain pipe, packet of rubber nails, see-through mirror, revolving basement restaurant roll-on hairspray, rubber pencil, ****** with a hole in it, limp **** pockets on a lettuce, **** on a fish, lolly pop van in Hell, one-legged man in an **** kicking competition, meaningless life, unnecessary death, forgotten words and deeds, ignored needs, this poem.
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Apr 30, 2016
Apr 30, 2016 at 4:11 PM UTC
You're About As Much Use As A (Partly Found Poem)
Making deliv-eries, drugs of every kind. Got some that will sedate you, and some that will blow your mind. Making deliv-eries, just trying to ply my trade. Since i started selling drugs, can't believe the friends I've made. Everyone is eager, bound to big you up. All in a selfish, downward spiral, trying to get ****** up. The glamour and the tragedy, of people in the gutter. But now I'm selling drugs, it is my bread and butter. Got to turn it over, and try to make a buck. Couple of quid short, here and there .. but I don't give a **** Making my deliv-eries, police not far behind. Put my **** on the line, in a bid to blow your mind. Flashing lights, neon blue, right upon my tail. They're about to pull me over, I'm about to go to jail. ( (c) P Skez 04/01/2014)
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May 2, 2014
May 2, 2014 at 2:33 PM UTC
Deliveries
Alligator! Alligator! Alligator! Alligator! Bite me whole and take me to space. Staple my **** and spaz my face, Plaice defrosting in the refrigerator. These things all seem to come together, Throw them far apart will be for the better. I hate this ******* verse, ‘cos it all rhymed from Alligator!
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Mar 19, 2010
Mar 19, 2010 at 3:57 PM UTC
A Refrigerator and a stapler and an Alligator