EDNA: I believe you recently had a gay little adventure, Vladimir. So why don’t you tell me all about it? I can see you are simply dying to get it off your chest…
VLADIMIR: Well, Edna, it happened like this. I hadn't cruised the ***** toilet in the park for months and I was ******* randy, absolutely dying for a really good session, so I thought I'd go along here after the pub shut and see what was up, see if there was any ******* ******* action. I wore some **** ****** under my jeans, you know the sort of stuff: red open crotch *******, suspenders and black fishnet stockings. My **** kept dribbling as I was in the pub, just thinking of what might happen down the toilet. At closing time, I left the pub, my carrier bag in my hand, with a big anticipatory bulge in my pants.
EDNA [gulp] And then what happened, Vladimir, dear?
VLADIMIR: Once I got to the toilet, I was surprised there was no one inside, but there were a few nearby shadows in the park, people smoking cigarettes, walking round, looking for it. Once in the toilet, I selected the cleanest cubicle and took off my jeans and shirt and put them into the carrier bag. I replaced my normal shoes and socks with the white high heeled women's shoes I had waiting in the carrier. Then I waited in the cubicle for someone to come into the toilet.
After only a few moments, I heard footsteps and I looked under the door to see who was there at the ******. It was a short muscular looking man wearing jeans and Doc Martens. I could see he wasn't *******, but just standing there, though I couldn't see his face. I opened the cubicle door and he turned around to see who was there, so I opened the door wide open so he could see me standing there in the stockings, suspenders and silk ******* with my stiff **** sticking out of the hole in them.
He was about forty and very butch looking with close cropped hair and I could see his **** hardening as he looked at me. I went over to him and took his **** in my hand and he grabbed hold of mine and started rubbing it. I got down on my knees and took his short, fat, uncircumcised **** in my mouth; it tasted salty and ******* gorgeous. He grabbed hold of the back of my head and forced his **** deep down my throat nearly making me gag. I could smell the odour of his ***** hair and I loved it. He said, "Keep ******* it, you ***** ****, or I'll pull your ******* head off." I loved him talking ***** like that to me.
EDNA [getting a bit excited] That seems very bold of you both. What happened next?
VLADIMIR: In what seemed no time at all, I felt him tense and then I got an enormous mouthful of his hot *****. I'd never known anyone come so much, he must have had a week's worth in his *****. After he'd come, he took his **** out of my mouth, put it away and zipped himself up. I started to get to my feet, but he pushed me backwards onto the filthy floor. ‘You're lucky I don't knock your face in, you ****,’ he said as he went out. I love my men to be a bit rough with me, so I was very excited by this. I half hoped he would punch me but he didn't.
EDNA: [wiping forehead] Well, that’s really very interesting. Did you go home then, dear, or were you still up for it, as the expression goes, Vladimir?
VLADIMIR: I got up and dusted myself down. I could taste his come in my mouth, it was ******* delicious. I was still incredibly excited, my **** was absolutely rigid and I knew I just needed to give it a couple of rubs and I'd shoot my ***, but I wanted more ***, and I knew once I came, I would just feel like going home. So I went back into my cubicle and waited to see if anyone else came in.
After about five minutes I heard footsteps, followed by more footsteps again and I looked under the door a second time. There were two men standing there and, by straining my neck, I could see they were groping each other. One had one hand on the other's **** and his other hand on his **** and the other man was working on the first man's **** as well.
I let the door open and they both swung round as they hadn't known there was anyone else in the toilet. They saw me and looked relieved it wasn't a policeman lurking in there. One was quite young, about twenty or twenty five, but he was a bit skinny and effeminate-looking. The other one was much older, about fifty, but he was much better looking and I could see he had a huge **** on him. I walked over to them in my **** rigout and joined in with the wanking. They both started feeling my **** under my *******.
I turned round and bent over, my hands on the toilet cubicle doorposts, stuck my **** out invitingly and pulled my ******* down to my knees. ’Why don't you **** me?’ I said, bold as brass. The older man, the one with the big ****, left the young skinny guy and took up the offer I had made. He undid his trousers and pulled his underpants down to reveal the full length of his enormous **** and his big hairy *****. He spat on his hand and rubbed it on his ****, but he needn't have bothered because I had already lubed my **** when I was waiting in my cubicle.
He slipped his big **** up my moist ******* without much difficulty and then started ******* me gently. I told him to **** me harder, to **** me harder than he had ever ****** anyone in his life, so he started to really ram it up my hole. God, I loved it.
EDNA [sweating with mounting excitement and unable to resist touching herself down there] Mmmmm. I wish I’d been there to see that, I really, really do. But don’t let me disturb your narrative flow, darling….
VLADIMIR: Then the young skinny guy got down on his knees in front of me and took my **** in his mouth. Each time the man who was giving it to me ****** hard into me, I jolted forward and rammed my **** deep into the skinny guy's mouth. I was moaning with ecstasy as I got ****** and ****** by two complete strangers. The guy with the big **** couldn't last long and soon shot his load up my **** and as he did it he said, ‘O Christ, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm shooting my ***** up your ******* *******.’ This made me incredibly excited and I came off in the younger man's mouth. The skinny youngster was wanking his own **** as he knelt in front of me and I know he came as I felt the ***** splashing on my stockinged legs.
As he removed his still fat **** from my gaping hole, a stream of the older man's ***** ran down my legs. He said he wished his wife would let him **** her in the ******* like that. I went to kiss him but when he smelled the ***** on my face from the butch one I'd ****** off earlier, he wasn't having any of it and left with a mumbled goodbye.
The younger man had now got to his feet and was standing in front of me as he buttoned himself up. He said ‘We can wait a few minutes and then we can do it again if you like. I'd love you to **** me, you've got a lovely ****.’ But it was no good, the magic had passed and I told him to ****** off.
So I went back into the cubicle, got changed back into my ordinary clothes and left the toilet. I could feel ***** oozing out of my ******* and I could taste the first load in my mouth still. I had a smile on my face. It had been a great night out.
EDNA: [removing her hand from inside her ******* as unobtrusively as possible and trying to disguise the fact she has just had a cataclysmic ******] Wow, that’s really a very exciting story. It’s made old Edna quite hot and bothered. You really are a very naughty boy, Vladimir.
VLADIMIR: Would you like me to tell you about what happened to me in the old cinema down by the docks?
EDNA: [still throbbing a bit] No, dear, that will be the subject of another interview. We don't want to over-excite our readers, do we?