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Mike T Minehan Sep 2019
I’m the guy who juggles chainsaws
and plays on other people’s fears.
Everyone who watches ooohs and aaahs,
or they did before my accident
when I lopped off most of my left arm and
half of one of my ears.
Now they cheer as I juggle one-armed
while I sing and play the harmonica.
It’s a helluva thing, swingin’
an’ heavin’ my e-series Husquavana
just to earn a livin’.
I can’t get no medical insurance
and no one gives me super.
So I just have to keep on singin’
an’ swingin’ my chain saw
to feed my kids an’ missus.
Jeez but life’s a circus.
I might have ta cut my other ear off.
I'm gettin' really nervous.

Mike T Minehan
Mike T Minehan Feb 2019
Oh I wish you were here,
in my arms again
like the night when you died.
Yes, so close to me
and yet so infinitely far away.
So far away, that
then I knew the meaning of
Oh my little baby.
I’m reaching out to you again tonight.

Mike T Minehan
Mike T Minehan Aug 2018
At the risk of sounding sexist
I’d like to pay my highest respects today
to the girl at my accountant’s
with the beautiful *******.
Usually the only things that jiggle there
are the numbers on the ledger,
but today a couple of numbers
stuck out for me to admire.
She knew it all added up spectacularly well
as she bent down obligingly
and pointed out where I should sign
and showed me what I needed to see.
She knew and I knew that
capital gains and expenses
were comparatively insignificant here.
Saucy insouciance was the obvious upside.
Of course, I shouldn’t have noticed,
but then I'm afraid that's what happens
when you’re more
of a ******
than an entrepreneur.

Mike T Minehan
Mike T Minehan May 2018
When I was casting about
for the title of my autobiography,
Innocent Bystander was one of them
until I thought that, well,
none of us are all that innocent, really.
We can’t blame everyone else. Can we?
That would have been almost as bad as
Not Entirely My Fault.
Then I thought of
In the Thick Of It,
even What the ****, or
Jeez, That Was Close.
But I started to think that Completely By Accident
would be best because, well, everything did sort of happen
Completely By Accident. More or Less,
Even though I suspect I also had
Some Role in Their Execution,
which was another title I thought of.
Dismissed Out of Hand was yet another possibility.
I also decided not to use Completely ******* Weird and
Diving for Deep Cover.
Outrageous Fortune didn’t make the cut, either.
But do you get the feeling sometimes that we're
dealing with Outrageous Fortune
and Forces Outside Our Control?
Just a teensy-weensy bit?
So then I wondered What Are They Going to Say At My Funeral?
Which is why I thought I should start with
Get Your Say In First.
But You Can’t Get Away From the Truth,
which is why I haven’t decided on a title yet.
I Need More Time.
Which is probably the best title of them all.
When You Think About It.

Mike T Minehan
Mike T Minehan Jan 2018
If only I could write a poem
as brazen as an orange autumn leaf
tumbling along the street,
or sounds like rain
drumming of on an iron roof
or the rich, deep smell of earth
after the rain squall passes,
even the murmur of breeze in trees
and the song of cicadas
on soft summer evenings.
Yes, the single call of birds that thrill me,
or the magnificence of the setting sun
saluting the end of day.
The spin of sycamores
like little helicopters in the wind
and then, of course,
the dragonfly that darts and pauses
so impossibly along the lazy rivers.
And what about the lotus blossom
and the flowers that bloom in billions,
every day unseen?
The hulk of mountains holding up the sky.
The effervescence of the Milky Way
wheeling across forever.
Then there’s the kaleidoscope of colors
caused by a single drop of oil on water.
Smudged mascara after tears.
The majesty of self.
A child’s hand holding yours.
The gift of love.
A smile.
If only I could write these poems.
If only I could write.

Mike T Minehan
Mike T Minehan Jan 2018
There should be rules
about girls asking “will you marry me?”.
when they’re giving you a *******
and then they wait until just before
the Convulsive Cataclysm,
before they say, “so, will you marry me? Eh?”
Or even worse,
admitting their lover to the voluptuous depths
of their Secret Garden and then
pausing to say “will you marry me?”
just after they’ve peeled the curtains back
to offer the Apple of Omniscience.
I mean, of course a man is humbly grateful,
but he's not thinking clearly
during the calamity of ecstasy
and the drowning pools of pleasure.
There should be rules.

Mike T Minehan
Mike T Minehan Jan 2018
Give me succor!
Yes I need a lot of succor because
I went down to my word factory today
and there was no one there.
They just walked off the job!
So how am I supposed
to write anything meaningful?
Eh? Words fail me!

But if nobody gives me succor
and I’ve gotta set up my own Succor Center,
there could be some serious misunderstandings,
like, you better give me some succor
or I fukka you up right now.
Yes. There are people out there like that.
And others who want you to toss their salad
not to mention those who think I said sucker
instead of succor and that I'm asking for
some sloppy top. What?

But hey! I’m not going to stay silent and suffer.
So now I’ve designed a T shirt
with How About Some Succor? on the front
and I’m going to wear this and try to sell these
and see what happens.
I might even get some succor after all.
Or something.

Mike T Minehan
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