This whole time,
The devil thought
He was playing with my head
But his whole plan backfired

Why do I make the same mistakes
over
and
over
and
over
again?
Why can't I just be normal?
Why can't I just do things right the first time?
Or at least the second time?
What the hell is wrong with me?

I know I don’t deserve a second chance
And I know I don’t deserve a second dance
And I know you’re scared that I’m gonna hurt you again
And I know you're scared that I won’t hold your hand
And I know that you don’t know what I’m thinking
But I promise you’re the only thing I think about
And you’re the only hope in this sea of doubt
And I just feel so trapped i need to get out
And I know that you can save me from depressions mouth
And I’ll be here to give you all the love that you deserve
So for what it’s worth
Will you give me a second chance?

I’m worried that there’s something more than just depression and ADHD
I think I’m bipolar
But whoa hold up did a doctor tell me this
No
Oh so it’s not true
I have to wait for some high and mighty doctor to tell me what’s going on in MY OWN BRAIN
That totally makes sense
So I’ll go and get a doctor to tell me what I already know
Then I’m bipolar
That makes sense

If someone is being kind and saying hi
You should at least have the decency to look them in the eye

New love
New hopes
New dreams
New hobbies
New habits
New year
I cannot go back and relive my life,
But I can move forward and try to be a better person

You say it's for attention
You say we should stop being so dramatic
You say we shouldn't be so sad
We're hurt
You would never understand the pain

I’m stuck
I’m trapped
Someone come save me
They won’t let me out
I wish they would erase me
I’m so unhappy
Unhealthy
I’m stuck
I’m so alone
Someone please keep me company

You're gone and I'm sure many people appreciate that

You always know how to say the most perfect things
You always know when somethings not right
You know me better than I know me
You teach me the truth
You tell me what I need to hear
Not what I want to hear but what I need to hear
Thank you
For being the best thing that has ever happened to me

You are the girl in the moon
You disappear at noon
And you come back soon
You are so beautiful
Far from the usual
And that's indisputable
My favorite time of the day
Is when you come out to play
At night you never stray
In the morning I wake up to you even though you're kind of faded
And just a tad bit jaded
And some mornings you're kind of degraded
I still think you're beautiful at all times
Even when I can't see you through the blurred lines
And through all of my twisted crimes
You're the girl in the moon

I loved who I was when I was with you
I was confident
Strong
Happy
For the first time in my life I felt like somebody
And not just anybody
I was your body
My heart finally had a purpose
And that purpose was to beat for you
My hands finally hands finally had something to hold
And that something was you
And for the first time in my life I didn’t care what people thought
I woke up every morning knowing that I was loved by you
I was the best me I could ever be
And that me I will never see
Ever again

The next time I see her
I will tell her what I feel
I'm moving on and this time it's real
I hope it works out this time
Because the next time I see her
I will see everything

The next time I see you
I will ignore you
I will treat you like you've treated me this whole time
I don't need you
So the next time I see you
I won't see anything

When you walk in a room, everyone looks at you
When you don't come to school, everyone asks for you
When you smile, everyone bows down for you
When you laugh, everyone laughs too
When you talk, everyone listens
But I know that you don't want that
I know you just want to be everyone else
And although they all act like you're their queen
They will never see you the way I see you
Because when you look at me, it feels like you're the only girl in the world

Now we exchange few words
Now we don't even make eye contact
Now I jump when you set a plate beside me
Now I feel alone
Now I know I am alone
Now my best friend is my writing
Now the earth has officially forgotten that I exist
No more words of love only of resentment
Now the house is quiet

No one can make me smile the way you can
Everyone makes me feel like I'm less than
But you make me feel like I'm batman
My happiness now has a longer lifespan
I'm flying so high now I feel like superman
I'm a Lamborghini while everyone else is a minivan
And now all I can say is... ****

Your like a song that's stuck in my head
At least it's a really good song

I'm weak
So why do you think that I can hold all this weight?
My legs are giving out
I'm falling to the ground
I'm surrounded by pain
I'm here but who's here for me
I give up
I need someone to save me
I'm tired of fighting
I'm tired of holding on to all this weight
I must let go

I want to be happy but my brain won't let me
I feel so guilty for everything I've ever done
I feel like I've ruined everyone's lives
But I think things will be okay
I will just keep fake smiling until soon it is real

I got up so you could sit down during lunch today
I don't know what this means

What does this mean?
I'm overthinking again but I can't help it
**** it your smile is stuck in my head
**** it now I can't go to bed
I want to talk to you instead
I told myself to stop but it's too late

We were what everyone wanted to be
We were the stars
We were the moon
We were the world in human form
Two separate halves of the earth
Collide beautifully and become whole
We were so powerful
Our love was so strong
We were the king and queen of passion
The god and goddess of love
We were the fuel to every fire
We were everyone's deepest desire
We were beautiful
But the beauty always ends in disaster
We became separated once more
And the universe has brought us far apart
We will never be whole again
But I will never forget that
We were beautiful

Your birthday is July 10th
Your zodiac sign is cancer
Your favorite colors are purple, yellow, and orange
Your favorite thing in the world are unicorns
You have a pretty complicated family, kind of like me
You are shy but you are outgoing
You love potato chips with cottage cheese
You hate your little sister
Your little sister has the biggest, most impressive collection of squishes that I have ever seen
You're very insecure even though you're the most beautiful girl in the world
You're really good at volleyball
You can sing but you've never sang in front of me
You want to go back to Texas
You are going back to Texas in four months
I wish you wouldn't leave me

Should I go for it
Should I make the move
I am waiting for the right time
But I’m dying to
Tell you that I love you
And that I need you
And I just have to be with you
Cause I can’t stop thinking about you
And I know that your with her
But I can treat you better
Cause when we’re together
We could change the weather
And she don’t appreciate you
The way that I do
All she does is uses you
And I know the truth
You not the the only one that she talks to
And when you find out
I’ll be right here
I’ll your hand
Until the pain disappears
I’ll wipe away all your tears
Cause I’m in love with you
Lord what should I do

What if they find out?

I'm honestly better without you
I hope this is the last poem I write about you
I feel that I have wasted all of my words on you
And I thought you were the only one who could make me truly happy
But that's not true
Because I met someone new
So much better than you
And I will not write about you anymore
Because she is the one that I adore
She is the one who deserves my words
Not you

I'm doing it, there's no going back
You only live once and that's a fact
If people judge me I won't give a crap
I gotta be me and that's a wrap

You hurt her.
You are still hurting her.
I'll hurt you.
If you're not careful.

You know I'll stay by your side
Until the day you decide
That you're done with me right

I'll never be done with you
Just don't cross my line

I lied to myself over and over again
I convinced myself that you loved me
But I was wrong
You showed me how wrong I truly was
You have officially broken me
I hope you're happy

I'm crying
You see tears of weakness
I see tears of abandonment
I just want love
That's all I ask for
You can't even give me that
Can anyone give me that?

Stop looking at your phone
Look up at me, I won't leave you alone
Stop talking to her
You'll just get hurt
As if she cares
And if she dares
To break your heart
You'll know I was right from the start
And I will give her a piece of my mind
And I won't be kind
I don't want to worry about you
But unfortunately, I do
I want to be free
But that's not my cup of tea
I'm done for now
I'll be free somehow
I have some time
To spend with my mind
I would like if you were not there
Because I'm tired of you, I swear

You will be safe as long as I'm here with you
You don't really need me, it's true
But I'm here
I'm not what you expect in a knight
I'm not charming
I'm not super strong
I'm not even that brave
My armor is old and rusty
My sword is broken
I don't even have a horse
But for you, I will fight
For you, I would die
For you, there is nothing I wouldn't do