I miss you
and it's destroying me
slowly
painfully
my longing for you
is going to
eat
me
alive

My body will forget what your touch feels like

Push and Pull
but my doors
were open
the whole
time

When trees cry,
And leaves whisper their g
                                     o                  
                                                     o
                                                d
                                                           b
                                                                   y
                                                    e

I never really stopped loving you
And i feel like a whole clown
But my arms are bound
My legs broken
and my mouth stays shut
cause i miss you more than i miss myself
oh *******
And i dont know why i think thats ok

You keep spinning in blue loops
And your golden bellybutton keeps quaking by yellow laughter
like curios mulberry dragonflies, we don't try to, we just understand the body language of you and I
we build a chartreuse harmony
even bitter red jealousy
couldn't vandalize the sparkling love we make between my golden thighs
our colours matched and came alive
as a true dream of a purple five-o-five
But
is this a crack?
Why does cold arctic air come trough?
what could it be could it be you?
And suddenly
the colours erupt

I never understood the line
"can't live with or without you"
until I met you

I am afraid of never being
More than a body to someone
To keep being noone
For nobody
In the end

The scariest thing
is not leaving and missing you
but the fact
that you would not even turn around
and watch me brush off
(except to squint at my ***)

I am still patiently waiting
for the day to come
where I wake up
and smile

You turn me on and off
Just how u like it
U take my hands and numb them
U take my voice and mute it
U take my laugh and turn it into a smirk
And i let u do all this
Cause i am more and more becoming
your little marionette

you smile and lie
and i would have to lie
if somebody asks me if it hurts
guess
this is just the normal game of you and I

If I would hear your Songs
could I find myself in them?
My soul or only my warm Body?
If I would watch u sleep
Could I observe nightmares about us?
If I would Kiss your Lips and ask you if you don't feel anything at all
Would you be honest?
If I would ask you how you feel?
Could you tell me everything is ok?
Like always?
If I would ask you if u love me
Would you say anything at all?

I have been the bright one at partys
the funny one in groups
the cute one for boys
the wild one
but nowadays
i am more and more losing myself in the rain
and its like my tears about him
wash away
m          s
      y
                 e          
                                    l
          

f...

i am starting to feel this ****** kind of numbness
like even the persons who make me laugh the most dont even trigger the slightest feeling
like all energy just got ****** out of my body by a small dwarf
and he just took my laugh my speech my love and ran away
please
please
give me back my feelings

Y
O
U
M
E
You pressed the repeat button
by crushing our lips together
Y
O
U
M
E

I should have stayed on my side of the sidewalk
It was calm and nice there and everything went in the right direction
But
You were on the other side
And we already tell little kids
To not cross the street without looking
But
The infinite Idea of -us- hit me like a truck
And I didn't even arrive at your side

If u love a person
It feels like diving in the Caribbean Sea on a big luxury ship with everything u need
But
If u lose the person
U don't only lose her
No.....no you also lose the ground under your feet
And before u can remark and observe
You find yourself underwater
You can't gasp for air
Your body feels numb
And everything is just a big wild mess
You can't even remember where up and down is

So
U might get yourself out of water
Your body still in the ocean but sad eyes looking for somebody
Somebody to help
And it's not gonna end there huh
Cause the waves keep crashing and crashing over you when you least expect it

But
U may also find yourself
Finally on land
Without expecting it

So no matter how hard life is
how many times u keep getting thrown off the boat
Just remember
That there will always be a land
So just keep on swimming
And remind yourself
that the more u swim
the better u become at it

May u be happy with her
Like u couldn't be happy with me
May u think of me
When u are looking at her
May u miss me too like if it was yesterday when I lost my eyes in yours
May my tears will stop to flow
May u helped me grow


May I'm gonna heal

But I crave the pain you put me through
Cause if I am bleeding
I know
that u touched me at least

Do I need that?
the passionate feeling of hot skin close to mine?
the teasing words and thoughts, the way your eyes watch all of my movements?
how your finger is always kindly stripping the soft parts of my body?
the intimate Feeling of me and u?
Do I need ur heart to fill in the missing parts of mine?
To feel whole again?
But you keep being one of many
gosh I'm so sorry
I don't want u to be this, don't want us to be this.....
I don't want this
I'm so sorry but I think I'm going to break you, or you gon break me first

Is it too much?
Am i too little?
is it too much to wish for a person who loves you?
maybe I am not made for love, maybe I am too complicated, maybe I make problems just in my head and bring them on stage to destroy the act of u and me?
maybe
I am not the problem
maybe it is u, or him, or my ex-best friend
but what would it change?
to find somebody who is the bad guy who took every smile out of the others face?
cause it would just be too much.
And i don't know how much more i can take
cause I am too little
And my feelings are way too big

We could have had it all
the rainy kisses
the long nights
the warm tights, the love, the storm, the screams, the fights the lights
in our eyes
when we found what we were looking for in everyone else
we could have had it all
but when we almost had everything
u just f*cking cut everything into pieces
and now I'm only left with
my own mind

God, I know it is useless and dumb
But I can't stop my thumb
Scrolling down her newest pics with her pretty face and pretty laugh and pretty eyes
I see how u see her
And it is not like I don't care
I bet u didn't think of me
when u lost my kiss on her lips
With ur hands warmed by me
on her pretty hips
And sometimes
I think that I found her smile in your eyes

You taste like heaven,



But make me feel like hell

and our lips
match like lost puzzle pieces
finally ending up together

Believe me
You will never find someone who watches you the way I did
Who laughed about your sillyjokes like me
Who thought as much as me the he could not live without you
So I am just saying
Be happy with her pretty face

Smoking cigarettes,
like if they would take with every breath I take,
a bit of my pain away.
Very slow the flash hits me
and grabs my body to swirl it around my own kiwi smoothie eyes.
We all know
that the unknown
leaves a special taste on its tounge
on, on my body, in my mind.
the smoke keeps on whirling and i see small bits of your smokey eye
may it be allright?
But i keep forgetting
my resulution
to not let you become another habit