The end of time has been predicted by some.
But those people were wrong, only God knows when it will come.
Jesus and the Angels don't even know when the end will arrive.
When the end comes, God will judge us and many won't survive.
If people want to live in paradise, they'd better stop stealing.
And they'd better stop taking and dealing drugs and killing.
People must give up **** and other wicked things.
Because if they don't, devastation is what it will bring.
Only Jehovah knows when the end will come and we should be prepared in case it comes soon.
People must put an end to their wicked ways and live by God's rules or they will be doomed.

People use your popcorn in popcorn poppers.
You were the one and only Orville Redenbacher.
Sadly, you died twenty-two years ago today.
Your popcorn is still being eaten and it's here to stay.
People were sad when you died in 1995.
You're deceased but your legacy survives.

Jonah fled from God because he didn't want to warn the Ninevites.
But he finally came to his senses, Jonah soon saw the light.
Jonah went aboard a ship and Jehovah God caused a terrible storm.
When God gave Jonah the mission to carry out, he refused to conform.
The ship was in terrible danger because Jonah had angered The Lord.
Jonah told the people to save themselves by tossing him overboard.
At first they wouldn't toss him overboard, they flat out refused.
But they finally did it so their lives wouldn't be something they'd lose.
But Jonah didn't drown, God showed compassion by making a whale swallow him.
Jonah survived after being swallowed when normally he would've met a fate that was grim.
When God protected him from death, Jonah saw the error of his ways.
When I think about the power of God, I'm in awe and I'm truly amazed.

I'm the Emperor and my face looks like a prune.
I have dark circles around my eyes which also makes me look like a raccoon.
My name is Palpatine but I'm also known as Darth Sidious.
Everybody pukes when they see me because I look hideous.
I was able to trick Anakin Skywalker into turning to the Dark Side.
I actually convinced him that I had the power to save his bride.
I can't believe that I was able to turn him into a Sith Lord as easily as I did.
He actually believed that he could save Padme by killing Separatists and kids.
I thought that my new Death Star was safe from the rebels, I thought that I had won.
But Darth Vader dropped me into the main reactor of the Death Star to save his son.
Luke Skywalker removed Lord Vader's mask and he became Anakin Skywalker again.
I still can't believe that those **** Ewoks were the reason why my Empire didn't win.

My ex-girlfriend dumped me even though I have cancer.
My sister knocked her out in a mall and then she pantsed her.
She had to walk around the mall in her underwear.
People pointed and laughed, I wish I had been there.
You may want to dump somebody who has cancer but you mustn't and you can't.
If you're a woman who dumps me, my sister will knock you out and you will be pantsed.

He was my papaw and he was my father's dad.
When he died in 1994, it was both tragic and sad.
If Papaw had survived, he would be celebrating his birthday.
If he hadn't died, he would've become 100 years old today.
He was born on July the 28th of 1923.
Today he would've lived for a century.
When Papaw took some medication, he became very sick.
He died six days after his birthday because he was allergic.
Dad was hurt by Papaw's death and so was I.
It's always painful to learn that a grandparent is going to die.

You died twenty years ago today.
On February 7, 1998, you passed away.
You were born in 1910 and died at the age of eighty-seven.
Twenty years ago, you left this Earth and went to Heaven.

You became a widower in 1957 and had your kids to finish raising.
You finished raising your kids by yourself and that was amazing.
When you died, it was something that I hated.
You were my Papaw and you were appreciated.

The Philippi rulers had Paul and Silas beaten, imprisoned and their feet clamped into the stocks.
Paul and Silas prayed and sang praises to The Lord continuously after the cell was locked.
But at midnight the prisoners bonds were unfastened when the foundation started to shake.
This happened because God caused an earthquake.
The jailer feared the rulers because he thought the prisoners had escaped and he was going to commit suicide.
But Paul told him that they were still there and the jailer saw all of the prisoners, what Paul said was verified.
The jailer asked Paul and Silas how that he could be saved and he was told.
They said to believe in Jesus and he would be saved along with his household.
The jailer cleaned Paul and Silas's wounds and then they baptized the jailer's family.
Paul and Silas were released from prison and then they were asked to leave the city.

A judge ordered me to pay my ex-wife alimony.
I told him that his ruling was a bunch of baloney.
I refused to pay her anything because while we were married, she cheated.
She broke her wedding vows, it was a shameful way for me to be treated.
When I refused to pay alimony, the judge sent me to jail.
I've been ***** ten times by the man who shares  my cell.
It was the principle of the thing, that's why I refused to pay.
My cellmate is about to violate me again, I've had better days.
I hope a cop or prison guard can hear me as I begin to shout.
I'll pay my ex-wife whatever she wants if they'll let me out.

Today is May the 25th and it's Memorial Day.
We're paying tribute to those who fought and died for the USA.
Many brave soldiers gave their lives.
We're paying tribute to the ones who didn't survive.
Many brave soldiers have fought and died.
They were heroes and that can't be denied.

Somebody abandoned their cat and it's a **** shame.
I have decided to call her Penny, that is her new name.
After being abandoned, she decided to live here and she has chocolate brown fur.
Penny is beautiful and if she lives to be twenty, I'll always take care of her.
As I walked to the store today, I saw a cat that had been killed by a car.
When our pets are alive and healthy, we should realize how lucky we are.
Penny was abandoned but she's no longer alone.
I have given my new cat a name and a new home.

People call him a coward because he won't use his fists.
But he's not a coward at all, he's a pacifist.
When he refuses to fight, many say it makes no sense.
But he doesn't believe in fisticuffs, he's against violence.
Because he won't fight back, a man picked on him and knocked him down.
He refused to fight that man even though he was knocked to the ground.
You can call him a coward if you want but it's not true.
He will not fight people and that is a smart thing to do.
People call him a wimp, they say because he won't fight, it's a disgrace.
But if there were more men like him, the world would be a better place.

Even though false idols like Baal no longer exist, many people still idolize things today.
These people idolize money and *** when they should only idolize Jehovah God always.
God is offended when people idolize things other than him, it's something that he hates.
If you're such a person, you'd better change because it's something God won't tolerate.
God is the only one who should be idolized, not other wicked things.
People who idolize anything other than God had better watch out because disaster is what it will bring.

Something happened and my son is ******.
He found out that he's on Santa's naughty list.
But he's not only on that list this year, he's on it permanently.
When I tell you why he's been banned, it will be clear to see.
My son put hair remover in my shampoo.
And when I sat in my chair, I sat on super glue.
Thinking about what he'll do next, fills me with dread.
Yesterday, the brat put a live rattlesnake in his sister's bed.
He sold all of my clothes and bought an XBOX One.
Now I have to go out in public in my underwear because of my stupid son.
He spiked his mother's coffee and when she drove to work, she was drunk.
My son is on Santa's naughty list forever because he's nothing but a punk.

Your life was in peril nineteen years ago when you died of a heart attack.
You've been dead for many years and sadly, you will not be coming back.
You starred as the third Doctor in Doctor Who.
That TV show became much better because of you.
You starred as the Doctor from 1970 to 1974.
People were sad when you quit because you wouldn't be the Doctor anymore.
When I ordered a Doctor Who episode that you starred in, you were still alive.
But when I received it ten days later, people were sad because you didn't survive.
Besides being the Doctor, you had many other acting roles during your fabulous career.
You haven't been forgotten even though you've been dead for nearly twenty years.

Five minutes after I left, four people were shot in a pharmacy.
If I had been there for an extra five minutes, one of the victims would've been me.
A maniac shot four people over a tray of pain pills.
Two of his victims lived but the other two were killed.
He probably thought he'd get off scott free but he did not.
He wasn't even able to get out of town before being caught.
That punk shot those people five years ago today.
Now he's rotting in prison, he's being made to pay.
The cops arrested him and put him behind bars and that's where he belongs.
He valued pills more than four innocent people, what he did was so wrong.

I'm the human version of the Energizer Bunny.
People laugh at me but I don't think it's funny.
I put on this rabbit costume and the zipper broke.
I'm stuck in this rabbit costume and that is no joke.
I'm trapped in this costume that is pink.
I've been trapped for three years and I sure do stink.
When I ask people for food, they give me carrots.
I hate being a vegetarian, I can no longer bear it.
I must get out of this costume and I have a **** good reason.
Hunters have rifles and tomorrow is the start of rabbit season.
I'm sick and tired of being a laughing stock to humanity.
Please get me out of this costume before I lose my sanity.

When some people get really mad at somebody, they want to ****.
Please don't commit ****** no matter how much anger you feel.
Some people think they can get away with ****** but the cops are much more efficient than they think.
Please don't ever take a life because if you do, the cops will most likely end up throwing you in the clink.
No matter how badly a person has treated you, please don't commit ******, there is always a better solution.
It will be very sad if I hear that you've been sent to prison or death row where you'll be facing execution.
If you get so angry that you want to **** somebody, I'm begging you to think twice.
****** is never the answer, if you commit it, you will most likely pay the price.

You come into my house and try to cram political correctness down my throat.
I'm sick and tired of hearing you run your big mouth, you're on a sinking boat.
You try to tell me how to talk and how to believe.
You're not welcome in my house, you'd better leave.
You won't force your views on me.
You say that my lifestyle is wrong but I don't agree.
You continue to run your mouth and you refuse to stop.
You're refusing to leave so now I'm going to call the cops.
When I put you in jail, you certainly won't be missed.
You call yourself politically correct but I call you a fascist.

I didn't expect my black Cocker Spaniel to die.
He died 30 years ago today on the 14th of July.
He was born in 1981 and Poochie was his name.
He was killed by a car and it was a **** shame.
Poochie was unfriendly at times and sometimes he would bite.
But he was my dog and when that car killed him, it wasn't right.
It was sad because my dog couldn't live anymore.
He died thirty years ago on July the 14th of 1994.

I'll tell you about something that is rotten to the core.
When outside of church, some preachers cuss like sailors.
My friend saw some of these preachers who like to cuss.
They should be ashamed, preachers are supposed to set an example for the rest of us.
When they cuss, they anger God because it's like slapping him in the face.
Morality is not their strong point, what they're doing is truly a disgrace.
Out of all of the people in the world, preachers are the ones who should never swear.
Those preachers are not God fearing people and it is just too much for me to bear.
This makes me angry and Jehovah God and I are both filled with disgust.
It proves that the world is lost when we see preachers who we can't trust.

God truly deserves people's praise.
God deserves it for all of our days.
The good things that God has done are too many to list.
Without God, people would not exist.
God started the Human Race in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve.
God exists even though it's something that certain people don't believe.
God will be there for people always.
He certainly does deserve our praise.

Our world has been consumed by violence and greed.
But instead of needing wealth, God is all that I need.
When people find religion, there is no greater reward.
I have three important words to say, "Praise The Lord!"
When we suffer, God feels our pain.
Believe in him and eternal life is what you'll gain.
God knows that we're not perfect, everybody commits sins.
Even though we have flaws, God loves women and men.
As God looks at people, we are being adored.
I'll say those three words again, "Praise The Lord!"

If I had my way, everybody would Praise The Lord.
When we go to Heaven, there can be no greater reward.
God is great and he deserves my praise.
And he will receive it for all of my days.
Even though we don't deserve it, God will forgive our sins.
That's why people should Praise The Lord again and again.
Turning our backs on God is something we can't afford.
When the day is done, everybody should Praise The Lord.

Her name is Plum, she's six years old and she's a beauty queen.
But she and her mama are two of the dumbest people I've ever seen.
They are so dumb that they can't pronounce tornado.
Plum likes to eat her boogers and her mama is a ***.
Plum has a maybe daddy and his name is Boof.
He may not be her dad, they don't have any proof.
Plum's mama made her fight an alligator so she could get paid.
Plum won the fight by blowing up that alligator with a grenade.
This mother and daughter are a couple of hicks who are very silly.
Plum's mama is supposed to be a woman but I think she has a *****.
Plum's mama is an unfit mother and should be put under arrest.
Plum is the only six year old that I've ever seen who has *******.

A talented man has died and he's gone for eternity.
Prentis Hancock has died at the age of eighty-three.
This great man came into this world in 1942.
He starred in "Space: 1999" and "Doctor Who".
Millions are mourning because his life came to an end.
They are all sorry because they will never see him again.
He was a very important member of the Human Race.
It's sad to know that he's dead and can't be replaced.
When I say he went to Heaven, it's something I'm certain of.
All of his fans are saying goodbye to this man who they love.

If you feel worthless and think that nobody cares, it's not true.
You are priceless in the eyes of God and he won't abandon you.
When some people feel anxious and depressed,
they believe that money can bring them happiness.
But only God can bring true happiness about.
He loves and won't abandon you even if you feel like you're down and out.

I bought a dog last September and I've loved him ever since.
He is a Great Dane and his name is Prince.
When I bought him, he was only six weeks old.
He's a sweet dog who is also sassy and bold.

He cost 400 bucks but to me he's worth 400 Grand.
When I pet my big baby, I know that I'm a lucky man.
Every time I see his fawn coat, it makes me feel glad.
He's a beautiful animal and the best dog I've ever had.

I had to travel through eight worlds to save Princess Peach.
But she's about as warm and caring as a blood ******* leech.
After killing seven fake Bowsers, I finally destroyed the real one.
I did it to save Peach but it was something I shouldn't have done.
She turned out to be a snob, she called me dumb and Luigi dumber.
She said that we're worthless in her eyes because we're just plumbers.
I had to fight turtles and Goombas and I told her that I deserved to be thanked.
She said that I'm dust beneath her feet and I decided that she should be spanked.
I put her over my knee and I spanked that soft ***.
She cried and cried which proves that she has no class.
I was only given a few lives and I had to travel through thirty-two levels to be able to win.
I would've dumped Peach in the lava instead of Bowser if I had things to do over again.

Prohibition began one hundred years ago in the USA.
People had their right to drink ***** taken away.
This made people unhappy and they began to whine.
And this caused Al Capone to start peddling moonshine.
Capone was evil and because of him, people were killed.
On December 5 1933, the 18th Amendment was repealed.
People were very happy because prohibition came to an end.
They were as giddy as school girls to have the right to drink again.

Some people may not believe that Jehovah is God's name.
But just look in a Bible and I'll show proof of what I claim.
The Bible tells us that God's name is Jehovah, it's there for everybody to see.
If you want proof that Jehovah is his name, open a Bible and read Exodus 6:3.
Jehovah won't become angry or vengeful if you call him God or Lord, using his true name isn't vital.
But our creator prefers to be called Jehovah because God isn't his name, God is his title.
When we address a preacher as Reverend, that's only his title, his close friends would call him by his name.
Jehovah is the closest friend that I have so I address him as such and I hope others will do the same.

You were a Chihuahua and you were my pet.
You died even though I took you to two vets.
Two days from now will be my 52nd birthday.
But it will be ruined because you passed away.
When your life ended, it was a **** shame.
You were awesome and Puppy was your name.
I bought you and owned you for six wonderful years.
Your death has and will continue to produce tears.
Your death is something that I certainly regret.
You were my Chihuahua and you were a wonderful pet.

When you died, you died too soon.
You died one year ago this afternoon.
A vet tried to save you with a blood transfusion but you died anyway.
You died and my heart was broken one year ago today.

I bought you in 2017 and you were only six years old when you died.
If a person ever says that I didn't love you, that person will have lied.
Some Chihuahuas are hateful but you were not.
You were one of the best things I've ever bought.

I took you to two vets but your life still came to an end.
You weren't just a dog, you were also a wonderful friend.
I have something to say and it is 100 percent true.
You were a very special dog and I'll always love you.

I have a puppy who loves to run and jump.
I have a Chihuahua that is named Trump.
He was born on the 14th of January and he's special indeed.
I now have two Applehead Chihuahuas, that is their breed.
Trump is some feisty and he's as cute as he can be.
He is my new pet and he means a great deal to me.
It's nice to have two dogs that are purebred.
I love both of my Chihuahuas who are Appleheads.

You won't believe what I went through when I went to a black man's barbershop.
He was a racist **** and when I left, I called the cops.
He forcibly strapped me in his barber chair.
Then that punk shaved off all of my hair.
As I looked at my bald head in the mirror, he laughed at me.
He laughed and said that I deserved it because I'm a ******.
But he stopped laughing when the cops slapped on the cuffs.
He said that he didn't want to go to jail and I said "Tough!"

My eleven year old son decided to steal my car.
He drove to the theater and sneaked in to watch a movie that is rated R.
The film is about zombies who rise from the dead in a cemetery.
Now he has to sleep with a night light because it was so scary.
He has nightmares that make him scream every night.
He wets his bed and ***** his thumb because of fright.
His screams wake me up every night, I'm tired of having to get out of bed.
If the brat watches another R rated movie, I'll slap him upside his head.
My eyes are red and puffy because I haven't slept in three weeks.
I'm tired of changing his sheets four times a night when he leaks.
My wife blames me and she hits me so hard that I see stars.
My life is in turmoil because of a **** movie that is rated R.

I learned the hard way that real bears aren't like Winnie the Pooh.
I decided to pet one and I soon learned it was a stupid thing to do.
When I tried to pet him, he bit off my hand.
I can no longer drive a taxi so I was canned.

I thought that all bears were like Winnie the Pooh, kind and gentle.
When my wife learned that I lost my hand and job, she went mental.
My wife used to be understanding and sweet, we used to laugh and cuddle.
As she walked out the door, I kicked her in the **** and she landed in a mud puddle.

She didn't want a man with no job and no hand so she decided to leave.
But getting a swift kick in the **** wasn't something she expected to receive.
If you've seen Child's Play, you'll understand that my wife has the temper of Chucky.
Losing my hand and job caused me to lose that witch so I guess that I'm pretty lucky.

She was very young when she was shot and killed by Robert John Bardo.
She starred in 'One Life To Live' and 'My Sister Sam' over 30 years ago.
Bardo had stalked Rebecca for three years and tragically ended her life with his gun.
Fans were forced to say goodbye to this great actress who died at the age of twenty-one.

This morning, I experienced some good luck.
I bought a Chihuahua for one hundred bucks.
My new dog is brown and his name is Red.
He will be my dog for many years ahead.
Like other dogs, he probably loves to gnaw on bones.
Red makes the third Chihuahua dog that I own.

I bought my newest dog one year ago, today is our first anniversary.
Last year, some nice people cut the price in half and sold him to me.
When I bought him, I only paid one hundred.
They sold me a Chihuahua and his name is Red.
I take care of him and he lives in my basement.
When I bought him, it was a hundred bucks that was well spent.
When I bought him, I was amazed at how fast he warmed up to me.
Red is very pretty with brown fur and today is our first anniversary.

The story I'm going to tell is something that isn't good.
A registered *** offender moved to my neighborhood.
A child molester moved to my neighborhood and I didn't want him here.
When I told my neighbors that I wanted him to leave, I made my point clear.
But the idiots said that everybody deserves a second chance.
Sometimes that is true but not under this circumstance.
All of my neighbors said that we should forgive and forget.
They ignored me and it was something they would regret.
Less than two months later, a neighbor's daughter was molested.
The police were called and the creep was handcuffed and arrested.
I told everybody time after time to make him leave but they ignored my advice.
And because of their stupidity, my neighbor's underage daughter paid the price.
I have a message that each and every person needs to receive.
If a child molester moves to your neighborhood, you should demand that he leaves.

I read a pamphlet that asked if religion is dying, it's almost dead.
Religion may be gone forever in just a couple of decades ahead.
Religion is important to me because it's what America needs.
Jesus will return and when he does, he and his father will lead.

Donald Trump says that he can bring back prayer in schools.
I'm not crazy about Trump but if he can do it, that would be cool.
Children should be taught to pray so God won't be forgotten.
The thought of God disappearing from people's hearts is rotten.

We should always remember God because he will always remember us.
He will bless us if we worship him, he's the one who people should trust.
Now a days many people are non-religious, they refuse to acknowledge God and I don't think it's funny.
It wouldn't surprise me if the United States Government removes 'In God We Trust' from our money.

When you're tempted to commit a sin, remember God's son.
When you're tempted, ask yourself what Jesus would've done.
Jesus Christ has never sinned, he was a perfect human being.
That's something that people shouldn't have difficulty seeing.
If you're tempted to steal, remember Jesus and you'll know that it's wrong.
If you put your faith in Jesus and his father, they will make you strong.
If you're tempted to commit ****, remember Jesus and you'll know that it's an abomination.
Jesus has always lived righteously and he's against all violence, that is no exaggeration.
Remember Jesus if you're tempted to raise your fists to another man.
Jesus will help you to live a righteous life like he does, yes he sure can.

The world gets worse as each day passes and that's no exaggeration.
When you are tempted to commit a sin, please resist the temptation.
If you want to hit a person, please don't commit assault.
Resist the temptation even if the other person is at fault.
If you are tempted to do drugs, please resist the temptation.
It's dangerous as well as being a sin and can cause devastation.
Please resist the temptation if you're tempted to commit adultery.
Not only is it breaking one of God's commandments, you can also get an STD.
Please resist the temptation if you're tempted to steal or ****.
Turn to The Lord, he can help people cope with any ordeal.

You became family when you moved to my place.
You showed a lot of love when you licked my face.
It was sad and heartbreaking when I watched you die.
You weren't just a dog, you were also my sweetie pie.
I bought you in 2020 and I only owned you for three years.
Your death is a painful experience that has driven me to tears.
You were small with chocolate brown fur.
When I say that you were special, I'm sure.
If I live to be a hundred, you're a dog who I'll never forget.
I will always be proud because you were a wonderful pet.
I have something important to tell you because it's true.
You were my Chihuahua and I'll always love and miss you.

Some Chihuahua dogs are hateful but you weren't hateful in the least.
You were a very special dog and it's painful because you're deceased.
Just one month ago today, you were still alive.
It's sad and heartbreaking because you didn't survive.
I didn't realize that you were sick until it was too late.
I lost a terrific dog and it's something I'll always hate.
I was hoping you'd survive long enough for me to take you to a vet.
But the animal hospitals were closed and it's something that I regret.
You were wonderful and it was painful to watch you die.
When a man loses a great dog, it's hard to say goodbye.
Your life came to an end in the evening on the ninth of December.
You were my Sweetie Pie and you're a pet who I'll always remember.

It's been three months since the day when you died.
You were a wonderful dog and that can't be denied.
I remember the day when I bought you.
When you died, it was a terrible thing to go through.
I became a lucky man when your former owner sold you to me.
You were my Chihuahua and I bought you on August 18, 2020.
When you died, it was something that was sure to devastate.
You were my dog and that's something I'll always appreciate.

You died half a year ago tonight and I had to say goodbye.
It was six months ago when I watched you die.
It's never easy when a man loses a dog as special as you.
If somebody says that you were awesome, it will be true.
You were in the living room with me when I watched you take your final breath.
When I had to watch you die, it was extremely painful to have to face your death.
You had chocolate brown fur and you're a dog who I'll never forget.
You died on a Saturday night and when you died, I lost a great pet.

One year ago tonight, I had to watch as your life came to an end.
It was sad to witness your demise and I felt so much pain within.
You died in 2023 on the 9th of December.
You'll be a dog who I'll always remember.
When I saw you die, it was sad to know that you would have no tomorrow.
Each and every person who has lost a dog can understand my sorrow.
Last year, you didn't live long enough to see Christmas arrive.
Rest In Peace, Hazel, I certainly am sorry that you didn't survive.

You weren't a saint but you were extremely close.
Out of all of the people on Earth, I've always loved you the most.
It will be very painful as they lower you into the ground.
Life will never be the same because you're no longer around.

You were a wonderful Human Being and a terrific mother too.
Your family and friends will always love you.
You were so sweet and kind that you should've been given a humanitarian award.
The people in Heaven are happy because you're there and so is The Lord.

You're in a better place and that makes your friends and family glad.
But as people see the tears rolling down my cheeks, they know that I'm so sad.
You were one fantastic lady, you were truly one of a kind.
Knowing that Heaven is your new home gives us peace of mind.

From time to time I wasn't the ideal son and that's something I regret.
You gave me life, love and happiness and that's something I'll never forget.
It hurts very much because you are deceased.
Everybody loves you Mom, may you Rest In Peace.