There is nothing wrong
with taking baby steps.
Whether you walked instead of ran,
wrote a few sentences instead of pages,
or woke up a few minutes later.
It is better to have attempted than
to not have attempted at all.
Baby steps are okay.

The JOY of seeing you again,
of seeing you smile again,
of hearing you laugh again,
of seeing you wake up again,
it floods this soul with JOY
and I am left swimming
in a sea of you.

It was in the
heart of winter where
I found, within me,
a radiant sun.

Such irony it is
when I feel lonelier
in your presence
than I do
alone.

All I remember
is that I was young,
dumb and ignorant.
You took me in and showed this heart
a love it never knew existed-
and then you broke me.

Today will always
be different to yesterday-
time to start over

4:24 PM
24/8/22

you probably think
this haiku is about you-
well guess what? it is.

11:17 AM
24/8/19

Life is a
series of moments
I have to pretend to
feel what I don't feel
in that moment.

When our
shadows die,
do they bleed
light?

Sometimes memories
are all we have left,
and yet they are merely a recipe
for chaos
just waiting to happen.

Dear diary;
this world is
falling to pieces-
I can see it on my screen
and I can hear it outside
my window.

Time moves more slow when
I am waiting to see your
pretty face again

6:09 PM
1/12/22

There are some people
in my past who aren't welcome
in my present life

1:21 AM
27/5/23

When did these walls I
built around myself become
a self-made prison?

4:39 PM
30/5/22

A life
is not a life if
it has to be disguised.

Of all the places
I don't belong, it is your
heart that feels like home

7:31 AM
1/11/22

My sorrow is a rose
and I am the last petal
trying to hang on through
the raging winters.
Sometimes I forget that
spring does not last forever.

With nothing
but you,
my moon-
with nothing but your light
to guide me,
I made my way home
that night.
I cannot imagine
how much darker
it would have been
without you.

I am lonely yet
I don't want to interact
with anybody

4:43 PM
13/11/20

If only I
didn't have to
fade from your view.
I could be a continuous memory
with no end in sight.
It would be a dream that
never had to end.

Dear diary;
Too often I subtract
myself from the world
only to realize that it would
not be much of a loss nor
would the world notice
such a loss.

Love is
everywhere.
If only you could see it
the way I see it
through you.

I never did stop
loving you, I just learnt to
do it in silence

1:16 AM
28/8/22

You crossed my path and I realized
that you haven't changed at all.
Still, you are the lost and bitter
individual that I did not realize
until you turned away.
The difference between then and now
is that my eyes see through you.

From the beginning,
I knew our time was limited
but that did not stop me from choosing you.
Perhaps I thought and hoped that
the more times we said 'I love you',
the greater the chance that
we would make it.

It is as rare as it is wonderful
to find someone with a beautiful mind,
and better yet, a beautiful heart.
But it is also as tragic as it is wonderful
to discover that who you thought had both,
had neither all along.

It's nice to think that
you might read my poetry
even if you won't

11:17 PM
14/9/22

if you were
a flower
then maybe I’d learn
to garden.
How glorious it would be
to spend my days getting
your love underneath
my fingernails
and watching euphoria bloom?

I have hidden from my shadow.
I cannot look it in its eyes,
the ones that only serve to scorn me.
I fear its judgement,
its cold and its fury.
I try to dwell in the light,
far away from my shadow but
the shadow learns to adapt and annihilate.
Night time comes and once again,
it's just me and my shadow.

Will I ever stop
carrying the weight of all
I have said and done?

11:59 PM
21/11/22

This will be
a memory that
one day I will try
to forget.

I either have
nothing to say or
too much to say but
no will to say it.

I’ve waited a long time
to hear “I love you” echo back.
Maybe I should say it again,
or better yet, never again.
Maybe I should trek deeper.
Maybe “I love you” got lost in the woods.
Bouncing off of trees, falling down,
and spraining its ankles.
Maybe it’s afraid.
Maybe it’s lost in the shadows,
finding refuge in a deep, dark cave.
I’ve waited a long time for "I love you"-
perhaps I can spend a few more
in search of it.

You made my mirror blush.
My pillow misses the smell of your hair.
You lit up my room and
my bed misses your touch.
This place seems a little less
like home now that
you're gone.

Relief is a cleansed heart
so let the anger burn away.
Yes, it's easier said than done but
there is no worse burden than a heavy heart.
So grab onto the heartbreak, the anguish,
and even the unresolved
and let the tears pour until
you are dry.
Now you can
let go.

Dear Diary;
I met a girl last night
and I saw a goddess in her eyes.
Can you believe it?
I met a *******
goddess.

We were
not made for this world.
We were made for
each other.

I didn't know you
were capable of such hate-
I can't believe you

11:31 PM
21/2/21

This mind is a bed of roses
of harrowing memories
that burn these petals.
A storm surrounds me
in this everlasting winter
and one-by-one,
these roses wither and die.  
I hope those that remain
will survive long enough
to see a sun that may never dawn.

You stayed long enough
to make believe that you
wouldn't ever leave

3:41 PM
22/8/20

There are days where
I miss you so much that
these sunflowers wither and die.
Make your arms my garden and
your smile the sun that
brings them back to life.

Second choice?
You?
Are you crazy?
Are you blind?
Look in the mirror
and tell me a fool
who would take that
as his second choice.
Yes, tell me the fool
who would cherish
that heart of yours
a mere second to
that of another.
I want to know this fool,
so I can take pity on
his misguided soul.
Second choice-
spare me!

It's still in here,
somewhere,
I'm sure of it.
The heart I want to give you
is somewhere at the
bottom of the ocean,
or perhaps the
edge of the galaxy.
I know that I can find it,
again,
I just need time.

I close my eyes and
suddenly, I am there,
in the memories I try to forget,
where I lost my heart and
have been trying to
reclaim it since.

It is too easy to decorate
yourself with plastic flowers when
the gardens of your heart
has withered.

I have you-
and that is only thing
that matters to me.

Things don't really end-
they just transform or morph for
better or for worse

11:16 AM
17/7/22

Dear diary;
Today I came to
the realization that
I can probably count on one hand
the people who know anything
about me in real life.
If you are reading this,
I doubt you're
one of them.

I've had a hunch that
it's all been meaningless.
Oh yes,
beautifully meaningless,
every word,
every touch,
utterly meaningless.

There are no ordinary people-
everyone has a story to tell,
a dream to chase and a
mind unto itself.
What is your
story?