I got too attached to seconds
where the sun bathed in the feelings
of a moment one would dream
to catch with bare hands—
not knowing my feet maims my body
every time I spell back
all the words I used to say to you
until I'm paralyzed
by a time I should forget.

I try to find art in a picture of the future—
but my fingers keep on tracing
each one of my past paintings,
thinking about how beautiful it was
when I colored them wild and free.

the feelings were an adversary
when I saw what the world spoke,
but emotions caved in
once everything's been told
by your eyes and those painting kiss.
right there and then is when I knew
why I was so intricate in what I said—
I didn't want them to know me
the way I know you. still.

your hum is still playing
in my apartment like you're the voice
of this living room.
I couldn't hold the walls
and I still am trying to;
guilt is what I taste every time
I try to let go— my lips
can't stop spewing our memories
on every candle I blow
because you're not here
and I'm not ready to let it go.

every line that I say would be the words
of the man they wanted to see,
hung on the wall in a golden frame.
I was on the edge of the precipice—
but it was you I accidentally dragged with
because the minute we kiss,
I can feel the tip of my tongue
bleeding from the pain of a bliss.

I was too easy until I forgot how hard
it was to liven up the moment we were in.
two emotions swam in the lake;
then you prickled at the gaze I gave
like I didn't know you were trying to play it safe.

if it means for us to fall,
then I'll let go first
because dreams don't make us lose
like where we are now;
we agreed to play it together,
but neither one of us can last
if we both are searching for a win
and waiting for another broken vow.

The Moon:
We meet once in a lifetime
and we kissed as much as we could,
so that love lingers around our body
when we parted.

The Sun:
He is the promise they all make,
but only me who gets to hold him
the way they crave to—
too bad we meet once in a blue moon;
but our love forever remains untold
even some people already know the truth.

I know I'm one who isn't blunt
and I don't know how to learn feelings,
but I stayed up all night
trying to remember every part of your face
that I've studied.

words are not enough
when lips part and speak air,
throwing vowels like I've never learned
since I was hold
by the warmth of such care.
be your phrases and live in it;
you're now a stray, begging for a roof
of forgiveness.

when your body becomes mine,
I can feel our skin speaks love
like I felt when my skin was on her
and you feel familiar,
like your eyes speak the way hers did;
but my feelings feel foreign
even though our mother tongue is the same.

a part of me remember all of that
while a part of you remember only that.

good things don't last forever,
they come and go within a second;
so hold them close
while the seat is taken
before they say "see you never".

counting the stars
like I count your heartbeat
when you're near mine.
one, two, until I stopped at a thousand,
yours stopped at one hundred
but I promised to love you even it's a million.

untouchable lips
but she sins through her limbs
and soul became stronger
as she grows into a woman
that came from her mother.

I'll take the pain and paint the night away.

our romance linger around the room
and our eyes dancing in the crowd
while you're sitting
and I'm leaving out.

I don't know whether it's the lights
or your eyes
but my heart is snowing white.

your petals flew with the wind
chasing the birds that's flying
so you can taste the clouds on your skin
and I'll be down here waiting
hoping that you'd find your way back
even when we decided to sail
different route, my fleets going to south
and yours to north.

when one day we meet again,
I hope the war has ended
and the men are cheering of victory
even though the other side is burning
I hope our love will remain still;
even as a flower and a bee.

I'm not saying dreams are a medicine
but I do feel better
when I'm somewhere else
running with my bare feet
on the hills chasing feelings
rather than awake but stay still
on the bed with soul in my eyes
going down to my cheek
as I think about how death is just a penalty.

Our space felt cold,
colder in December
while warm has gone along the season
yet we let it snow like we never cared
for each other like the flowers never bloom in spring.
"Why do we let it dry like it's the middle of July?"
you asked, but never try.
So we left searching for the universe
but hoping it would bring us back;
ran asking for a moment to breathe
but never knowing how long is the track.

I wiped my stained tears
and told myself
that maybe it's just a one time
but then again when I'm an angel they want to be the devil, but when I'm controlling, I'm the evil.

What's the point anymore of staying?
And what's the reason if there is none
if everybody's taking you for granted
while my voice stays flattened?

Falling to my bed,
losing all my words
and my metaphors ran with fears
to somewhere far away
where wishes exist and prayers stream like a waterfall everyday.

Water tastes like whiskey
as it slides down to my lungs
and create a disease.
Sedating my emotions
but then somebody else controls me.

I can hear the moon is crying and the stars, they all are sobbing rain tonight; I can hear the sun is sighing in Cali with the clouds and was hugged by the sky with lightning getting angry every minute.

Why was I too blind?
Why was I too kind for someone that relies on me with nothing to be given? Never realized.
Why was I singing to the moon like a lullaby I try to sleep the thoughts of me loving you endlessly, ever so it was a beautiful flight.

Never been born to feel loved by someone and by someone not meaning my roots but a bee who'll go to the chosen flowers if it thinks that they're pretty enough to be touched, to be discovered by researches, to be plucked by humans, to be sell at the florist, to be the one who will heal upon a curse.

Maybe it's true that love doesn't exist.
I guess romance had run out of it's capacity for billions in this world as I remember that candles too has its finishing line as it run in its lane before it all goes blackout once again.

I'm not embarrassed to say that every time my eyes met yours my heart beats faster.

It's like I'm a drummer addicted to his music that he creates every summer so that he could listen to the rhythm that's rushing in his adrenaline every time his drum vibrates and creates a sound that we call music.

But I call it love.

They say that I've fallen
but I didn't know
what I have fallen into or for
until I see him and her
caressing each other
while I'm holding the tune
to my curiosity
and that is how I know I've fallen
for him and not for her
because when he's looking into me,
when he's strumming
my favourite melody,
I know we were made to be together.

I created a world,
but all I can see is words.
Never feelings, never emotions.
Just words.
And it hurts because all I can say is just non meaningful words.

Love doesn't always
end like we planned;
it could be tragic,
sometimes messed up
but when you're with me,
I know that the future held our story
like the way we wrote,
like the way we thought.

Here I am, fighting for the last breath
so I could write about you
and I could wonder about
how I used to see you as a stranger
but now I see you as a beautiful
rare flower.

Singing on the clouds
while they hold my hands
and we're looking into each other's
like we're some sort of a band.

A minute where I want to relive again
because it hurts when I remember
all of the things that we did together
and I tried to play it like a song
but it kept turning into a hum.

This state is where I know who's bad
and who's good,
what's the purpose of a power
and realize who was my root.

I failed and I've won
yet, I still don't know who I am
because this is where I study feelings
and I learn love, I learn him, I learn her.

I was caught
and trapped in something big,
bigger than any of my emotions,
bigger than my words;
yes, I am caught in a country named love.

Every time he feels
like he's going down,
I'm spreading my wings
ready to fly down
and grab his hands
and bring him back,
back alive and trying to stay in his life.

Yes, my wings are my legacy
but I didn't say that I'm ready to grow
like a tree and become someone
that will shelter their shadow.

I know how to fly,
but every time I jump,
I pretend like I'm stupid
and fell to the ground
just because I don't want to be bigger
than who I am right now,
just because I don't want to be bigger
than where I am right now.

I just want to lay my head
on your chest
while you sing me a lullaby;
Let me win this game of chess,
don't want to hear anymore "goodbye".

Dear sunset,
please don't go away
I just want you to stay
don't let it end today
cause I am so afraid.

Dear river,
please walk me by
and tell me "it's alright",
hold me when I cry
just hold me tight tonight.

Dear sunrise,
please don't be awake
cause I won't be await
for you to make me rain
and mourn tomorrow
like I did today.

Dear starlight,
please let me make a wish
so that she can filled with rich
of happiness and love
and be happy up above.

tried to sleep that night
but the moonlight kept me awake
until dawn arrived with a new sunrise
but I'll still await
for tonight
so that I can see the moonlight
clearly without any haze.

When he said
that he could be something he's not,
I believed,
I believed that his storm
could be cleared
And that his eyes
could look only into me
Just me, and only me.

When he's inside,
I lost control and said
yes to heaven and no to me
I lost control and let him play
like I'm his poker cards and tell
all of his friends that he won
a game of bet.

We slowed dance in a ballroom
and I put my head onto his shoulder
closing my eyes
and let the dance happen
even when he's on his phone
texting her while dancing with me.

I'm asking myself what do I want,
I'm asking myself who do I want,
I'm assuming that everything
will flow slowly
but I'm wrong and I knew it
but I decided to just keep believing
that we're still looking into each other's eyes like my heart still beats the same beat as you.

Our voices are gone,
so did our melodies and our songs
that we used to sing.
I was waiting for love inside the cafe
and I realized that we ran out of things to say.

I thought that I am one with you,
I thought that you loved me too
but when I was down,
when I was drowning,
you were with her inside her room, kissing.

I closed my eyes and as my tears fall, I said "Congratulations, you have won this game"
and left all of it behind
because you never need me again.

I admit that every look that you give him
makes me feel like I'm alone in this blizzard night.

I want to hold you
and kiss every inch of your face
so I could show the world
that this night is mine
and this girl beside me is always going to be mine.

Words I wish I wanted to say
turns out just to be the smoke from my mouth that was caused by this lonely snow.

I won't let you go,
so I list out what I want so that you would be under the tree
when I wake up;
Hold you close and we'll stay under the mistletoe forever because today,
I'm going to make you my girl and my favourite present ever in the world.

They say that tonight,
Wishes do come true.
Then, why am I not in front of you?

Santa, I'm not asking for a lot of gifts
And I don't even have a long list,
I just wish for somebody to love me
At least just temporary.

paint me with all of this love,
I'll let you carve this architecture
so that you and me can be together
and I'll look at your eyes, above.

We stayed up all night
listening to our voices
talk softly under the dark
and I've never taught
that I'd fall in love
again, it's my luck.

So I hold your hands,
kiss your lips
and stare into you;
Now I'm ready to shout it out loud
"I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU".
Then, she kissed me slowly
and passionately
under this snowy weather;
Again, I fall in love with this girl,
it's insane.

When the thunder passed
its negative charges,
it went right in me
and now I live with it.
As I grow old, I realised that I tend to plant my flowers without even watering them but I know they're going to withered and I still do it anyway.

I grow old and I see things in different perspectives, I see fire as water, smoke as fog, summer as winter, and I promised I have fought and now I feel down, very down, like an ocean-deep-down but who gives a **** anyway.

The smell of the hot chocolate
warms up my little morning
and your hugs warm me up like my sweater.

Let's come out and enjoy this snow,
let's play around
and love all along this winter
so I could look at your eyes around this white weather before all of this is over.

It was hard facing rocks and not the sky,
it was tough meeting snow in July,
it was good knowing you and your smile.
I needed you like a fish needs the water,
needed you like a tree needs the sunlight;
you didn't need me and that's alright.

I gave you my best
and it's time for me to get a rest;
this is where our story ends.
I'm sorry it's not a kissing scene under the rain
but instead it's me loving myself and recovering from the pain and that's where I found what the meaning of true love is..

All of the blood that dripped down from our heart created memories and created us,
it made me and you stronger than before and I hope you love her stronger than our metaphors.

Hit me with your soul
I'll give my best to stay still
And the pain keep my eyes shut
But the pleasure ain't keeping my mouth shut

Promise me you'd hold me tight;
I'll bloom once the moon shines
Right through our body
And in that moment I'll stare at your shimmering eyes.

Let's not waste our times,
Run up to the stairs,
Lock the doors
And in that moment,
Baby I'm yours.