Left by my own self,
stranded in my quilt of despair.
Countless threads drag me down,
and all I can do is gasp for air.

Succumbing to this war,
I've thrown down my sword,
raised the white flag.
for this pain, I can't afford.

i'm in love with you and it *****
why can't you leave me alone?
everywhere I go, you linger
the memories, they linger

i'm addicted and it *****

The pain you caused
I'll never let it fade
The ache that
makes me feel this way

Don't forget all you've said
regret what you've done
I'll remember how you made me hurt

Not just emotionally
Physically,
Your hits caused all these troubles
You've turned our family to rubble

The love you have for yourself
Let it fade
For if it doesn't
No space will remain

The way you glared
When you said those words
They are not of GOD
They are not of the principles
You always speak of

This is the true you
worldly you.
You are so against evil
Yet you embraced it today

Discipline,
Day by Day mantra
Left you as you did your actions

In the presence of public eyes
You made a big mistake
Your mistake

Whatever you feel,
Regret or remorse
I don't care.

All I want you to know,
This will not be forgotten
Not by me nor by others

One day I'll forgive
One day I'll forget

But remember
What you've done
and remember
He was watching.

why does my heart fail so?
my mind in endless distress,
as I wander and drift off into this infinite darkness.

i have moments like this,
dreary dramatic days,
where my mind won't stop racing.

i can't keep this up I've realised.
so how long will this go on?
how far can i go broken and in pieces?

i constantly ask myself,
can you commit suicide,
if you fear death?

It's funny how something can seem so right.
It's funny how you shook my life.
Now I'm stuck with the reverberation.
Wondering and wondering what we could've been.

Lately my thoughts don't connect.
Not sure if they ever have.
But my state of mind felt different with you.
Happy?
Safe?
Well now everything is a jumbled mess.

don't get me wrong
even if I'm just a dream
i'll be by your side
through thick and thin

do you know?
there's blindness
in everything that dies
and maybe that's what has kept me from leaving

i fear the darkness
it sticks to me while the weather holds
and that fear amplifies
the more time draws near

don't get me wrong
i don't want to leave
i think

this silence breaks at everything.
eyes shake my every being.
little did he know, what we'll be.

hands like feathers
searching through my heat
sweet sounds
echo through our walls
the words he speaks
are wisdom to me
my body, his teeth
vague curses to deep
I take a picture,
two minds intertwined.
two lives unwind.
he makes this work,
oh, my love.
maybe his hands
will bring me whole
while,
fleshy vessels pumping blood
ache selfishly for his touch
he's mine.
even with my sick mind.

'Here lies that sad girl and her scars'
Those words hovered over my head.
I giggled slightly,
Sick to my stomach.
Lumps upon lumps form in my throat.
As I welcome euphoria, my friend!

'Here lies that sad girl and her scars'
Sick thoughts, don't you think?
Oh! What do you care!
I'm falling in a blink.

At that moment,
I remembered the girl,
With big eyes and concern on her face.


What's that on your arm?

                  mind your ******* business

Oh it's nothing…

Huh?

I was just drawing on my hand with a really sharp (razor) pen and I didn't notice…

Oh wow that's so weird

                                       You have no idea


I wonder if she saw the words on my arm…
Ha! Yes! You guessed it!
As cheesy I can be,
'HELP ME' was carved, quite boldy on my skin.

The girl made me think...
You,
Weird,
Sick,
****.
Why won't you STOP?

So here I lay,
Dipped in ink,
Stripped and bleak.
Worried my shirt might get ruined, ****!

'Here lies that sad girl and her scars'
Watch her as she shivers.
Her friend has gone away.
Who is here to stay?

I'm far from you
Yet close;
My heart races,
ten steps too fast,
Blood trying
To fix imaginary wounds.

My head hurts so bad,
My legs won't stop,
Shaking—

The cries of my lonely self
I miss you.

The cold, cold day-
Seems to drag on,
With the sky still crying,
Nothing seems to move on.

I feel conflicted,
Everything inside,
Burns through and through,
Nothing left to reside.

its july.

Why doesn’t my heart seem to understand?
Why can’t I breathe even with lungs?

Many people notice how hard I fight.
Yet many make it worse.

Will this hurt last for eternity?
Will my pain become my only reality?

In that moment we are hopeless.

When we seek attention.

We are devoid of the fact that we'll never be seen.

We'll get to explore the unknown with thoughts that make us sin.

We expose us to gain.

In the end all we get is pain.



We seek attention.

Believing we'll be noticed.

Constantly wanting the fame.

We forget what we wanted to get noticed.

In the end, all respect is lost.

My ears were ringing, the pimple on my upper lip stinging.
The words they were saying, drowned in the harsh love they were playing.
I know how lovely you are, how kind you can be.
Oh! How I want to believe.
The large weight on my shoulders made my eyes and nose run.
Tick tock went the clock, reminding me of how wrong I was.
Internally my heart stopped for a second, a second too slow.
Her wisdom baffles me all the time, his warnings ******* me time and time again.
While the rope around my neck gets tighter and tighter, the days go faster and faster.
Their advice I would take, hoping and hoping its not too late.

i will keep on
the write
the fight
bleeding from my pen

i will question my sanity
till the very end
not missing a thing
i will discover my being

endless weight
and the stars still shine

sickening pressure
yet my heart still beats

deep down
enslaved raging butterflies

its too much
anxious heat

no relief
it goes on and on

a dramatic end?
endearing yet frightening

we love you, you *******
but curse your stupid inability
and reverent ignorance

we're the heart and ******* brain
and we're finally in sync
funny how the first time we're in agreement
is because of you

we're crushing hard, bits to pieces
but you even ******* know us
argh! just see how we can't stop
thinking about you
beating for you

the worst of all this
you're in love with someone else.

9:12PM

the questionable truth
will always hunt you down
fill my lungs
in pressured parts

note the love
oh stupid parts
ponder the affection
creeping up on me

foolish lungs
they fail me
the touch to fear
too much my dear

my scream will be heard
drowned in silence
we will be feared
not knowing the tear

i laugh and laugh
wishing in your parts
we'll delve in the stars
my lover, my wonder

run from thou
the reaper
that cold night
hood was drawn
but to cry is a sin
so run for you life
as he comes down
what blood was drawn
oh, the fatal tale of a rogue mind

burning, i'll burn
in no rush to leave
with edge of the world on my finger tips
yes, i will breathe
not running in speed
sleepless abandon
the words seem to speak
they heal
the waste in them
and the fate in them