I'm not a woman
I can see you stare
"You were born in that body
You were born to have long hair"
Was I though?
I don't think I was
If it were that way
Maybe I wouldn't want to die as much

"Say what you want to say
You're ******* me off"
I tried to
But you told me "no"
There is no room in your heaven
For me, who is trans
"You're going to hell"
You can shut your mouth
You didn't even believe in God
Until this month

Now you think you're some saint
And you've picked up a bible once
Skimmed through the pages
And sipped the wine symbolizing blood
Ate the bread symbolic of flesh
Well you've skipped the verses
Didn't read the psalms
Or genesis

I did
I've read enough of the book
To refute the ******* you've just said
I used to be a believer
And I still might be, I'm not sure
But it's people like you
Who make sure churches turn cold and dark
Who make this book I used to adore
Just blank parchment smeared with ink
Who took my faith and shredded it
In your kitchen sink

I say I'm a nonbeliever
Only because
If I told you that I believed in my own God up above
You'd use it as leverage
Tear wounds in my soul
Make me too weary
To ever go on
You'd ask how I can believe, being queer and trans
Living in the wrong body
Living as a man

But let me tell you this
You slimy ******
My faith is MINE
Not something you twist up to offer
I don't have to give you the time of day
And I usually don't
But your *** has got it backwards
I'm in control
Not you, not your stupid ideals
Just me, quietly, thinking to myself

How does one say “*******” politely?
Because personally I do not wish to offend, but I’m in need to defend.

To defend my actions and what I said, or did, to protest against the way you all want me to live.

I’m rude, I’m mean, I’m a bully. Call it what you will but I will always see it as honesty.

Why, must I be the one in trouble, when no one spoke to me
Why, must I be beaten down violently when I didn’t know what to do
Why, must I be tortured mentally that I want to break my own skin open and let everything out.

All the, emotions and pain, suffering and sleepless night that I spent crying.

I mean no offence, but seriously...
*******