you said you could see into my mind as you stared into my deadened eyes you said I would die alone and cold but now I can see these were all lies
you chided the child I truly was molded me into your little prize broke me until I hid from the world but now I do know these were all lies
you split me from my sister as you put her down as though she were a vice made me base my self worth on her pain but now I can feel these were all lies
you told me my body was your own as you grabbed my *** amidst my cries that I was crazy for saying stop but now I am sure these were all lies
you said you were the most honest one within your words no mistruth could hide your recall of my life was perfect even then I thought these were all lies
A personal poem to reconcile with what happened within my family. The "you said/did" lines are basically taken directly from what my mom used to do when I was a kid. Don't base your self worth on what an abuser tells you, they all are lies.
I'm not a woman I can see you stare "You were born in that body You were born to have long hair" Was I though? I don't think I was If it were that way Maybe I wouldn't want to die as much
"Say what you want to say You're ******* me off" I tried to But you told me "no" There is no room in your heaven For me, who is trans "You're going to hell" You can shut your mouth You didn't even believe in God Until this month
Now you think you're some saint And you've picked up a bible once Skimmed through the pages And sipped the wine symbolizing blood Ate the bread symbolic of flesh Well you've skipped the verses Didn't read the psalms Or genesis
I did I've read enough of the book To refute the ******* you've just said I used to be a believer And I still might be, I'm not sure But it's people like you Who make sure churches turn cold and dark Who make this book I used to adore Just blank parchment smeared with ink Who took my faith and shredded it In your kitchen sink
I say I'm a nonbeliever Only because If I told you that I believed in my own God up above You'd use it as leverage Tear wounds in my soul Make me too weary To ever go on You'd ask how I can believe, being queer and trans Living in the wrong body Living as a man
But let me tell you this You slimy ****** My faith is MINE Not something you twist up to offer I don't have to give you the time of day And I usually don't But your *** has got it backwards I'm in control Not you, not your stupid ideals Just me, quietly, thinking to myself
god, ******* i ******* despise you pure ****. **** of the ******* earth. do you understand? will you ever understand? the longevity of the pain that you've inflicted on me? when you put your filthy unwelcomed hands on me i want to tear away the flesh and skin where you gripped me
un-*******-forgettable in the most disgusting way a human could possibly fathom
Welcome to the journey! On this brilliant trip We shall traverse absurdistan To make our way to our final destination: Mutual annihilation
Strap in or make yourself sparse As we begin this farce Traveling through Shitville To get torn apart by the storm Until maybe we can move on?
Next pit stop is Pointless Peak Another amalgamation of lies Beware of your feet Turning and turning Running in circles, around and around Dizzy, we finally fall off the edge
Straight into Snake Valley Where the snake That set us on this road Can sneak back into the fold To wreak more havoc We weren’t quite sold
But now we all are And it’s no longer that far
It’s playtime Time for some more mud slinging Enough slander to keep the ears ringing Nobody want to hear reason No matter it was never a goal To resolve conflict at all
Almost there At the ninth circle of hell Hurray! We finally made it all the way So we can stay to play This game of insanity Feeding our own vanity Forgetting the promises we break
So much destruction So much loss Is this what we become? Everyone for themselves Frozen deeper as the resentment grows Never thought these bonds were so fragile They’d shatter under a grain of mistrust Or maybe the greed just cut through The last strings keeping us together
How does one say “*******” politely? Because personally I do not wish to offend, but I’m in need to defend.
To defend my actions and what I said, or did, to protest against the way you all want me to live.
I’m rude, I’m mean, I’m a bully. Call it what you will but I will always see it as honesty.
Why, must I be the one in trouble, when no one spoke to me Why, must I be beaten down violently when I didn’t know what to do Why, must I be tortured mentally that I want to break my own skin open and let everything out.
All the, emotions and pain, suffering and sleepless night that I spent crying.