Is when you wait for that perfect time of day.
Somewhere between 4:00 and sunset when the light gives perfect sight.
Follow your rule of thirds and keep your aperture right.
More than your skills, art is within the eyes.
Which through experience and passion, just like film;
Both develop over time.

Just for that precious moment.

Expressive and frustrating,
The fire inside enduring.
Time to concentrate on loving.

Time to see the truth in our moment.
Make hope in yourself and show it.

Closing your eyes and escaping,
Imagining and dreaming,
All the feelings tumble away falling.

Singing loud out in the open,
The people begin to join in...

This feels like lifting up to heaven,
To live inside each moment...

This makes me believe that this is real.
To understand the world and still
Throw my doubts all away.

This sensation grows in size,
Inside it breathes a tiny little sigh....

To remind myself of loving,
Creating and believing,
A life always grows in meaning.

She tests her own being.
A legend loved by all.
With her and Lancelot betraying
Destiny, the kingdom would fall.

Can we rewrite love?
Can we rewrite scripture?
Can we rise above?
Can we find our picture?

My dear Guinevere,
No more nights of tears,
Make the right decision,
Please, my lady, my dear?

We had a perfect plan.
We should have rode,
We should have ran,
We should have never spoken again.

Tearing down her future
They would burn her at the stake
As love and loyalty shared no shelter
Their dreams together, they couldn't make

It's now too late
It's now time to cry
It's now the last goodbye
It's not like you didn't try

But lest we die...

My dear Guinevere,
You have nothing to fear,
Your Lancelot is here.
This love story will withstand the years.

She loved animals.
Her favorite ice cream was mint chip.
She loved Lord of The Rings and fantasy.
Her favorite shows were Trailer Park Boys and Rick & Morty.

Her favorite city was San Francisco.
Her favorite beach was El Matador.
Driving through the canyons of Malibu at sunset,
Bottles of wine and sushi was her favorite date night for two.

She loved music and concerts:
Sublime, Tool, The **, Reel Big Fish, 311 and all of the 90's alternative.
She could play the piano and the bass,
But was a pro when a pen and sketchbook were in her face.

She never fired a gun, but loved archery and fishing;
Unless we ate, it was only for fun.
She was the best at make up and constantly changed her hair.
She was always worried what others would think,
Although I never cared.
She was wild and beautiful, that's why they stared.

She valued freedom over everything.
She never got a tattoo, although she wanted one.
She loved motorcycles, but never owned one.
She loved taking risks, jumping or falling.
It was why she stumbled while she was here with the living.

She loved me, but we never married.
She didn't want kids, but loved them truly.
She didn't want to be held down, she wanted to be carried...
Her dream was to grow wings... To drift like a fairy.

I rather see her fly free than be locked in this worldly cage with me.
I just wish our fates weren't separated now by me having to age... I  wouldn't be stuck here on Earth with such a long wait to see her face.

Best friends, lovers. I was your boy, you were my girl.
On the beach, or under the covers.
The memories are priceless, forever shared with one another.
I wish we made more before it was over, but it was enough.
I won't cry over this, but it will be tough.

I'm coming soon my love... Not today nor my intention, but I promise to live with meaning and more careless abandon; to let go of what doesn't matter, and remember your favorite things, whether I am down here, or beside you in heaven watching the angels' wings' flutter.

Watch the cars cross Hillcrest and Hoden'. Seeing the world and living life has always had its fortunes. Believing the light to crawl and make your way to foreign shores, we never catch ourselves sleeping during every waking moment.

I just have to remember what I told myself~
Relationships are like glass. They break into a million pieces, seemingly unrecoverable. But if you collect them all together, with just the right amount of heat and love, you can watch it all melt back together, into a new piece of glass.

New to the eye, yet the feeling will never fade.

I'm gettin' tired of tellin' everybody how bad she treats me now.
I keep hearing myself buzzing round and round,
Like a disgruntled honey bee, who can't find his hive nor his queen.
I'm a broken record by now, you know what I mean.

So I sit here on this dry, sunny day,
Drinkin' whiskey and singing the same song when I play.
I guess I just wanted her to hear me say.

I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.
I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.

She came in looking like a sin, struttin' past my way
looked me over then said, "You shouldn't gawk that way".
Then I stood up, gave in and took her home anyway,
She slipped out before the light of day.
So I say,

I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.
I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.

When you look she's divine, then find out she's a demon.
You wake up in the middle of the night,
She's got you hollerin' and screamin'.
What do you get when you love a razor with the body of Venus?
You just say,

I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.
I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.

I'm goin' back home now, done with her anyhow, anyways.
Find some land with horses, sheep, orchard trees and some cows.
This bee don't care no more 'bout his queen or the colony.
Before I left, I shot her down, then ran from the felony.
Don't do what I did, but I meant when I say,

I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.
I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.

I really didn't like that.

You don't ******* care about me.
The only reason you let me breathe and eat is so you can exist.
I could barely move when I didn't keep you next to me.
The yelling in my ear wouldn't let me think.
You only let me keep my job so I could give you my money.
You stole from my family, lied to my friends, made me isolate.
I ended up turning into two people, my cowardly controlled self, and YOU.

It's been five weeks since I have seen you and I am doing fine.
I don't need you, I don't want you.
I don't miss you.
Just don't try to bump into me in an alley.
I will **** you...
...I will **** myself.

I'm trying to get off the floor
Hard and painful to break through
This selfish, superficial glass ceiling called corporate.
I have no choice but to sit and sacrifice to it.
Why is it always about money?

No room for the artist, the poet
No time for the writer, nor the dreamer.
I know I need to be at this nine-to-five
If I ever want to afford my paper and pencils.
Determined to write through this candlelight

But when you take the time to look at my face, or stare into my eyes
You will see a river flowing with such grace and force
It will flood your world and make you cry.
With such emotion in a moment of infinite love
That you will feel like you were ready to die.

I have thoughts I want to share with you, if you have the time.
I'm patient though, at least I'm trying.

Insidious doors that close linoleum floors keep the secrets of the man hidden from the poor.
It's a shame the way he makes me work for more.
Fear is the weapon of our enemies and allies.
Crying wolves, crying wolf while slaying dear.
Maybe we are better off this way.
On blue moons, our eyes turn red and we say we are done and won't take it again.
Force fed, force shaved, forced to listen and forced to behave.
It's a shame the way he makes me feel depraved.
I shout, scream, stand up and get mad.
Tear apart the room without saying a word.
***** you, you aren't my Dad.

Have my cake and eat it too?
**** me off under the table while the social network takes a stab. I don't care. F%&K; the media's news.
I see the headlines spelled a million different ways, but you are still the one that has to sleep at night, knowing you nurtured a nation that reaped and *****.

The innocent, the young, the scared, the hopeful, the dreamers, the soldiers, the vagabonds, the artists, the entertainers, the founders, the church-goers, the fishermen, the students, the Samaritans, the stay at home mothers, the policemen, the American man. His soul and the spirit they tried to preserve.
Lied to and tapped, again and again.
It's a shame the way he makes me give and take.
Inside us, inside the US.
Without asking.

I saved my friends life today.
He was afraid,
Afraid of letting go of his fears.
His ego was whispering in his ear, not letting go.
I spoke to his snake and listened to it's hisses.
I told it to shut the **** up.
It struck and missed.
I dodged it without moving and let my diamond body deflect the fangs.
I won't let you hurt him anymore.
Your teeth are named fear and denial.
You coiled my friend and isolated him.
I twisted your skin, pried, unwrapped it and let him breathe and cry.
To be free of the suffering yet embracing the pain,
My brother thanked me, got up off the ground and was able to walk away.
I looked at you serpent, on the ground, alone now and astray,
Took our Vindication and made it a sword to slay.
Struck you down and cut your head off. On the ground you laid.
Freedom. Forever more. Unafraid.

You're welcome my friend, go hunt down another snake,
And save another's life, so he can another's.
Right now, Today.

I went to bed Thursday night and I woke up Monday morning.
Where the **** did my weekend go?
I made sure not to drink so I could remember it this time.

Why do I have this paycheck?
Wait, where did it go?
Here's another one. Cool.
Gone again. ****.

Wasn't I supposed to have some money saved?
Some energy recovered?
Some sleep caught up on?
Some more stories to tell than I do?

The sun is setting and the coffee isn't even done brewing.
I thought it would've been different this time around.
Late to life, early to death.
I don't want to work anymore, I just want to rest.

**** this impending deathbed regret.
Sleep is for the dead, and work is for the lost.

Time to go home.
It was fun at the manor,
But now I must move on down the road.
I don't know where it ends, or where it goes, but I know
That it doesn't matter what's at the end.
Just that the journey was fun.
It just goes to show,
We were friends.
The end.

Waiting for the big restart.
Imagining a corner pocket with the lights off, all drinks served room temperature. Harmonica in my pocket, an acoustic leaning on a seat made of worn leather. No politics, no war, no religion, no John Lennon songs necessary. Just empty homes and never-watched, stocked pharmacies. Walk-ins preferred, no prescription necessary.

Boredom would be our only enemy, bibles our note paper. God packed up and left. It's a great neighborhood to raise your kids.
Nobody needs a bomb shelter when the bombs have all fallen.
Sitting in a lawn chair, with a good friend and no cares, watching nature retake her world.

I am waiting for that day to come.

Let it be difficult to wake up.
Let it be easy to go to bed.
Let a hard day's work brush by when your eyes are sore and red.
Let the sun come out, even when it's night.
Let the light come out, even when its dark.
Let a soft face touch down in your hands.
Let the pillow next to you be open even if you're feeling hurt.
Let me be there even if it's me you have to brand.

I never said I was perfect, I can only try to be the man I am.
But I'll never let your heart die and fall away while I stand.
Because there is love in this eulogy I wrote for you.
Till death, I promised to hold your hand.
Because I said I loved you...

From the beginning to the end.

Ten years ago,
I never felt so low.
The hours they come and go, come and go
But the minutes; they move by so fast, their faces they will never show

And I know.
You've got my heart and soul.
My love for you will never grow old.
But there's just one thing more I asks for.
But it's too much, and I know it.
It's just too much,

To ask

To be loved. I want to be loved by you.

To live with
To dream with
To grow old with
And die with
But the best part
Was trying
To be who
I can't be
The best of you
The worst of me
The love I find inside my enemy

Oh, to be loved. I want to be loved by you.

To live with
To dream with
To grow old with
And die with
To lie with
I'm tryin'
To find out
The best part
Was not now
But at the start
So when I leave
Please gently find
That how much I loved you,
Won't fade in time.

To be loved
I want to be loved by you.

Like a blind date on wedding night,
You came before me once again.
This time, you said you loved me...

We drove and talked, you smiled
And told me everything I needed to hear.
Not what I wanted to, but what I needed.

You're changing, and I like it.

Ride with me once again,
Until the red wine is gone
and sweet nothings are said.

I admit I still love you too.
Yes, we can start over again...

Lines ridges waves
Indentations in a cave
They rock and ripple in every way
Motions constant
Nothing stays
As the current flows The boat tips
A simple pattern expresses this
Simply formatted, every way
Life contains all of this.

Three daggers in my back and a sword through the heart...
I apologize if I don't get up as quick as others, or run as fast.
I'm trying to figure out where the hilts are.

Is on my back left shoulder.
I forget it's there sometimes.
It is a tree of life and all of it's changes.
Because of it, when I die, I won't be buried with my family.

Just burn me, turn me to dust, return me to the sea.
Because I really don't care what you think of it, or me.

The state of our future society is not to be blamed on our parents, or corporations, or warring nations.
The responsibility of our future lies solely on our own shoulders.
For nothing will or can be done unless every single one of us decides to change the world we live on in each waking moment.
Within myself, I hold no blame for the future, only for my past…

But I must take responsibility for both.
This is my soliloquy.

Once I was at a house party in the highlands, I got very drunk.
We were skateboarding on the large tennis court up on the top of the extravagant property which did not belong to any of us.

I was trying to do a trick and the board flew out from under me and rolled out of control into the center net. I didn't know it, but I broke both bones below my wrist clean across.

When I fell, I was initially disoriented.
I remember everybody letting out a big gasp or "Oooh, ouch."
I staggered to my feet and tried to assess the situation.

I started to feel dizzy and fell back over.
I think two people helped me back up and got me sat down in a chair.
I remember the feeling that I was blacking out and couldn't breathe.

"I think I am going into shock." I said to everybody around me.
"I think I might need some medical attention." I said immediately after.

Nobody really paid attention.
"You're fine." Somebody said.
I shook my head as to say no, but to no avail. Nobody was listening.
"I need an ambulance"
I passed out again.

At some point, I woke up and drove myself home, drunk and with a broken arm. Nobody wanted to give their good time to help me, even though I knew everybody and I desperately needed it...

The terrifying part about this, is that it has happened before.

Know who your friends are
Know how cruel and negligent they can be.
Know how little drugs and alcohol care about you.

The return policy for my heart has expired.
Sold at a cheap price, a sale bin bargain.
I got tricked at my own back door.
Pushed off a truck again.

Bartered over the table, no receipt.
Complacent defeat, or constant torture
It's not even my choice if I function anymore.

Yes, Ma'am. you can do whatever you wan't.
You own me, your toy, you own all of this.
You bought me with a mere kiss.

Slump down motionless.
You can do whatever you want with me.
But you don't want anything.

I have no real meaning.
Like an unwanted doll,
opened Christmas morning.
You cut me open and ripped out my stuffing.

It starts in other countries, in other states, in other cities. We see it on the news. It doesn't affect us. When it happens to somebody we know, we grieve for them, but we won't look them in the eye.

Only when the pain and surging, suffering tide of the escaping masses comes to break down your door, will you then say, "There is no shelter here. This is MY home, stay here no more!"

And they will all cry,
"No, it is YOU that has no shelter here! Why did you look away when they went for your neighborhood?"

Yelling back as you remind,
"Did you not turn them away the same as I, to deny them brotherhood?"

By then it's too late.
Misunderstood, we run but can't hide.
There will be no shelter here.

I was raised being told to respect my elders,
But they only ever called me a punk growing up.
They said they raised us to one day give us the world.
Gave us what? Cities of ****, dry lakes and burning rust?
A generation of parents, so worried about taking care of their kids,
They destroyed the world so they wouldn't go outside. Mother's Envy.
They told me to pay attention in school,
And taught me that I didn't fit,
Never how to find a job, but certainly how to quit.

When your generation was growing up?
I don’t want to hear about your generation.
The generation that cared more about what created the world,
Than how to keep it alive?

A drunken stepfather blamed by his son,
In turn blaming his own father for the reasons his son hates him.

You want your kids to behave a certain way? Don’t force them.
Explain to them the effect and the cause.
Guide them, not govern them.
Accept and love them, they have your flaws.

Don’t forget that you would rather be rich and your enemy richer
Than to be blind in one eye so he will be in both.

I won’t use your generation as a scapegoat.
Today I am here to stop this cycle.
No, you will not be my excuse.

I will stand up and give a voice to the voiceless.
Run, walk and crawl for the crippled.
Find a cure for our parent's cancer.
Pay for our broken homes, flooding with bills.
Will break my back to farm for those without food
Who starve in our valleys, our plains, our hills.

But I beg.
Just please, oh Mother.
Don't force me to ****.
Because if I have to dear Father,

You know that I will...

An Orchid
Simply ******, arresting petals
I'm drawn and intrigued by the asymmetrical
Expressions that gave me this breathless impression.
How do I retrieve a demon so beautiful that the angels in heaven
Forgive and forget
The day I cursed such a corolla
.......................I want you...........................
..................I want to free you....................
pollinate your mind, so in time, you will forget the crime we confide
To never remember such a slow chlorophyllian life... with such little strife...
Falling petals
Never die

Spreading as a warmth, inside from out.
Snuffing the wick of the candle, I exhale and Ignore the doubt.
Wandering, wondering where the world went,
The stars in the sky fell down again and again.

Then again....

Where was I when I was gone?
How many times have the dogs within me have me pet them then rip me apart?
I'm tired of crying, and begging, lying and crawling in the dark,
Never knowing what is too near or too far.

Then again, I hope I never do it again.

I'll look for God, the God in myself, and remember what it means,
To be a man once again.

Never again.

Bad like a habit, we had to have it, I can't stand it, it's just like gold to a bandit.
Well you take, what you get, when you do what you do.
It's okay, I won't give up on you.
Don't you fret, bout the mess, you don't have to wear armor.
No more, no more my amour.

~^~~^~

And when all is said and done, and we are both long gone,
Lord knows you were the only one.
And when all is said, then undone, fights we lost, or we won.
They'll know we just liked having fun playing with guns.
Playing with guns.

Put it down, pick it up, breathe again, take a plunge.
Holes in these eyes, and this skin, I see you naked, now don't give in.
And you fell how you fell, I understand that you feel down.
Freedom and prison don't mix very well, do they now?

~^~~^~

And when all is said then done, and we are both long gone,
I can't wait to see what we become.
Old souls, ghosts or angels, supernova-omegas.
They knew we just liked having fun playing with guns.
Making big bangs playing with guns.

Having fun playing with guns,
We're just having fun playing with guns.
Having fun playing with guns,
I know we're not the only ones.

There is no substitute for good coffee. If I don't see the froth with its caramel, gold color at the top, I just want to toss it. Why do we settle?

I will take the time to go to the store to choose my favorite.
I will spend the extra money.
I will make the effort to grind it, load up my old fashioned drip.
I will be patient as it brews and tease myself with that uncomparable aroma.

Go take the time, make the effort.
That cup of coffee will be worth it.
It makes life taste that much better.

Zombie dreams and zombie scenes
Why do the zombies come after me?
No matter where I run, no matter where I hide
The zombies always come and eat me alive.
Axes, bats and crowbars, knives, guns and cross
No nation nor religion can stop the pain and loss.
For when zombies eat your friends, your friends will eat you too.
Unless you're lucky and survive.
Then what will you do?